Rhythm of Love (UN-EDITED)

"The cancer's getting worst. It had spread across his body and we think that his body can keep fighting it. We've tried chemotherapy, but it was a little late. We'll keep going through with the chemotherapy but if his body won't react to it, we'll have to try the surgeries. Those aren't one hundred percent though. You have to understand that. We're trying everything right now." The doctor explained to me and my mom. Us two were embraced in a hug.

"I understand." My mom managed to croak out.

This was really beating down the whole family. What was I going to do? I had no control to stop this. I needed to cry and I did. He pretty much told us that my father had slim chances of surviving through this. I didn't-- I couldn't believe this. It was awful. I wanted it to all go away. I wanted to be a kid again, so I could cherish every moment, every second with my parents. I could save Daniel and I would still have him here with me. He would be my rock and he would get everything. Why was I thinking this? I had Carey, but he didn't get it. No one seemed to get it. I couldn't understand it myself.

* * *

I was curled on my mom's couch. She decided to stay with my dad. I wanted to leave the hospital. I also didn't want to see my dad knowing that he was slowly decaying. He knew it too. How could he act so calm about this? You were dying inside and you're not worried one bit! I kept thinking of how I would fix all of this if I could just go back in time. But it was no use.

I heard the door open and shut. Carey was in the living room, and he made his way to sit next to me. I guess my mom must have told him. My tear stained cheeks weren't hiding anything, as well. Instantly he put his arm over my shoulders. We didn't even say a word to each other. I found the silence everything but awkward.

"Your mom told me what happened. I am so sorry." He tilted his head on me. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I couldn't ignore him though.

"Yeah. If only I could go back. I would be able to stop everything and change it all. I was so horrible to my parents growing up. I'm just naturally an awful person. I treat everyone I meet like shit and take them forgranted. I don't know why god hasn't killed me off. God always seems to take the good, and the bad get to live knowing how much a fucking disgrace they are to the earth." I ranted, disgusted and upset. He was no longer cuddled up to me. My body was infuriated.

"I understand, but--" He started, but I was too angry and heartbroken. There weren't words in this world to describe how I felt right now. I needed to let it all out. I was hiding these emotions and now they were all pouring out of me.

"Carey! That's the damn problem; you act like you know what it's like but you really have no fucking clue! Do you know what it's like losing the one that you cared about? My father is dying before us, slowly. It's heartbreaking. The worst part is knowing that you're all alone with no one and that you weren't even good to him. You keep pretending and going along with it but you're doing me no good!" I yelled and he was startled. I was now standing, looking down at him because he still had his sit on the couch.

He got up to my level. "Rydell, I know what it's like losing the one you love. You keep telling me about being alone and I've been with you each step. When will you realize that there is happiness and someone ready to listen to you? You have to get over him if we're going to continue us. I'm not going to play your stupid game. You either stay hung about someone from your past or start to see your future. Maybe we can talk when you finally make up your mind." He said to me. His voice wasn't raised, but he wasn't joking. He was being completely honest.

He left me there, unsure of what to do. I did know for one fact that I couldn't be with him right now. The two of us needed to calm down. I did feel so bad for putting him through this. I knew that seeing someone in a time like this wasn't a good idea. But no, he walked into my life casually and he left casually.

I hate myself, I thought to myself.

* * *

I lay staring up at my ceiling. So many thoughts flew around in my head. It's been three days and I haven't left the house. My father's asked about me. I couldn't tell if my mom knew what happened the other night. I hoped she didn't. It was done with and it was over with. Like Carey had said, it was the past.

"Rydell! The phone is for you." I heard her yell from the main floor. I groggily made my way downstairs. It was two o'clock in the afternoon and I was still wearing my pajamas. I was an utter mess, I will admit that. Carey was right I stayed hung up stupid shit.

My mom awaited me at the bottom of the wooden stairs. I could smell her baking something in the kitchen, meaning she would want to go to the hospital to give some to my dad. She held the phone out for me to grab. I took it and walked to my room. I brought it to my ear and decides to figure out who it was. "Uh-- hello?" I asked.

"Hey, it's Daniel--" The voice of him, was so shocking.

"D-Daniel?" I wanted to faint. He called me. After all of this time. Why would he call me? He didn't remember me. Sure we tried, but there was no use. He loved Jennifer, his girlfriend.

"Rydell, I remember us--" was all I remember.