----- Grace Hartin

1 hour out from Chicago, the words ran across the sign at the door to our train car and were gone as quickly as they appeared.

"1 more hour," I repeated to Amanda who was curled up in her seat, drooling on the window. She quietly moaned and pushed me away, muttering something like 'leave me alone'.

Outside the window there were trees everywhere, defining the boundaries between seemingly endless plots of land. Most of the trip had been flat farms with a few stops in the capitals of the states we passed through. I enjoyed the peace of the straight-shooting train and the scenery.

Having spent my whole life in Boston, apart from early years which consisted of many trips into the wilderness to go fishing, the train ride was a long awaited cleanse.

Amanda slept through most of the trip. Unless she was on her family's huge plot of land in North Carolina the girl was a full fledged city girl. She also suffered from really bad motion sickness with things moving outside the window when she tried to read or listen to music, but not on roller coasters or carnival rides.

"Are you still listening to Queen?" she turned towards me with her eyes closed, "Or have you moved onto Def Leppard?"

"They're both on the playlist. There's nothing like some good old rock music," I offered her an ear bud, which she batted away, and giggled as she called me an asshole.

Our train car was pretty much empty, between the quiet car and the cars where no one was allowed. Apart from us there was a young couple in the back that we chose to avoid to prevent mental scarring and a young, cute business man that we made sure to glance at every time we walked back from the snack car. Amanda spilled some water on him the last time that she got up and learned that his name was Dean and he made a weekly trip into Chicago for work. He enjoyed the train because it allowed him to get lots of work done, unless he was distracted by a "pretty girl with some balance issues". Cue the innocent giggles. Dean- the fan of the Chicago Blackhawks and the L.A. Kings who loves the color green and wants to move into Chicago, but have an apartment big enough to house a dog as well.

It's always been fair to say that Amanda knows her way around guys.

"What's the weather supposed to be like in Chicago?" she sat up and unplugged my music.

"Hey, you know that I can multitask," I whined and plugged my earbuds back in. I had checked the weather before we left, "High 80s, but we're probably going to spend a lot of time in the hotel." When packing I always become indecisive. Even when I check the weather, check it again, and again, and again I never believe it. Well, I believe it, but what if it changes? That's why I always pick a suitcase and pack more than I have to. It's not like anyone else has to pull my bag around for me, so why should they complain.

"Good, that means nighttime shouldn't be too cold."

"Nighttime?" I turned down the volume, "Isn't your sister going out with her friends and maybe meeting us for dinner?"

"Don't be such a stick in the mud. Dean told me about some good restaurants and you and me are going for dinner."

That couldn't be all she was getting at.

"Maybe we'll even see some hockey players getting a bite too. I mean, 17 is basically legal."

There it is.

I laughed and tried to cool the blush that I could feel coming on, "Yeah, okay Amanda."

"What?" she leaned her back against the window and folded her arms into her classic 'I'm about to judge you' pose.

"Nothing." I tried to pass it off as a fleeting thought, but she had known me for too long to fall for it.

"What," she repeated, and it was obvious that it wasn't a question this time.

I paused my music and took out my earbuds. The past couple of years when there had been a ton of distance between us and the hockey players that we dreamed of it was easy to talk about them. How good they were, how hot, their asses and what we'd do with them in a world where we had confidence through the roof. Well, Amanda had that, but for me it had sometimes been awkward talking to her about it. "I've just been thinking.."

She pushed my head, "Well there's the first problem. Please don't psych yourself out before we even get to Chicago."

I loved her, but sometimes I wished she'd listen. "I know, it's just that.."

"No," she spoke in an even 'I mean business' voice, "you don't know." I sat in my seat quietly, there was no point in trying to speak to her now. Amanda unfolded her legs and moved to the seat directly across from me.

"Don't say anything till I'm done."

"But Aman--"

"Shut up."

The rumble of the train blanketed our nook in the train car, blocking out all the noise. Thank God that included the couple in the back.

"I love you more than my own sister sometimes Grace and I hope you know that," Amanda began. She was making me feel like I was having an intervention, I got one about once a year from her, so it wasn't too bad. I learned to sit quietly and wait till it was over.

As always she continued as if it was the most natural thing in the world, "That's why I wanted to tell you that while I love you, you have to relax. You've gotten so much better at not planning your life and being spontaneous. Most of the time you really are," she seemed to be trying to say this in the nicest way possible, and so far it sounded pretty good. It was still nothing that I hadn't heard before.

Motherly Grace.

If any of my friends, and even acquaintances, had a problem they'd come to me. I'm a listener, it's easy and I enjoy hearing what people have to say. Plus, it always warranted my calling them idiots when they really fucked up. Like when Amanda decided to be spontaneous and sleep with a college guy and her boyfriend found out. She cried on my shoulder for a week after he broke up with her and told me she'd never do anything without thinking ahead ever again. Not that that lasted very long.

The funniest part for me is that even though they wanted me to be spontaneous and never plan they also continued to tell me that they loved that I was always there to be relied on, with a level head on my shoulders and solid advice.

However, I did see what they were saying and it was a ton of fun being more spontaneous. Since an 'intervention' she gave me a few years ago I'd go out on a whim with no money and just walk until I couldn't walk anymore or I reached somewhere interesting. I got a cartilage piercing at the top of my right ear. I almost got a tattoo, but I had a meeting for college, and while it's fun to do things whenever sometimes I couldn't leave the path to my goal.

"It's just you plan too much when it comes to people."

"False."

"True and you know it."

It was true, people were so unpredictable and it was nice to know what was going on every once in a while.

"Like with college," Amanda began.

I cut her off as soon as I heard 'college', "No, no, no. I understand planning around people, but college is my future. I know what I want so I planned out how to get it. It's logical and normal mind you."

"I know, I know," she spoke defensively, but it was unmissable that she had a different point in mind, "I said 'like with college' as in I understand planning for college, I wasn't going to talk about it." Her smug face sat happily on her face as she allowed the moment of my defeat to drag on.

"So," I snapped.

"How many boyfriends have you had?"

"Counting the relationships that I've lived through the people who seem to love to pour their lives out to me, lots."

"And without that bullshit?"

I wish she'd just say her point already. The one thing that all my friends held over me was my singleness. It wasn't that bad though. I'd never really met anyone that I wanted in my future, so it wasn't like I was missing out.

"None."

It was a while before she spoke again, but I didn't bother to try and fill the silence. Anything that I said could and would be used against me.

"You plan too much. You have this idea of a guy in your head and he's not out there and I think you know that."

I did know that.

I had for a while.

"Even though you know that you still plan and plan for this guy as precisely as if you were planning for college again," she waved her arms in wild gesticulations. "That means that every guy you might work with gets skipped over because he doesn't perfectly fit into this future you have planned."

She had basically read all of my thoughts that ran through my mind before I fell asleep each night, "I realize this, so what's your point."

For a second she looked surprised that I agreed with her, I think that she expected more push back from me, and she had to reorganize her thoughts before continuing. "It's time to let go of that guy. We're in a different city, about to go to college and to get through life you have to learn that it's okay for not every relationship to work out." She laughed in a reminiscent way, "Both you and I know that mine haven't always worked out. But it's okay, it's apart of growing up and moving through life. There are gonna be ups and downs, but you've got awesome friends to get you through it."

"Like Sara, Emma and Katie?" I asked her innocently, making sure to bat my eyelashes at her.

"Shut the fuck up."

It was amazing how much social knowledge Amanda seemed to have over me in her extra 7 months of life. Even though it was usually me giving her help with school or listening to her problems, when she really wanted to she had a lot of great things to say.

"I guess I'm just gonna have to let go. I don't know how yet, but I can try," I picked up my earbud and slipped it back into my ear, "Thanks Amanda."

She shrugged as if it was no big deal, "I just want you to be happy. If you're happy single then don't change, but I want you to realize that you don't have to be alone."

You don't have to be alone.

It was maybe the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me and I had the urge to hug her and never let go. Usually people gave silly excuses as to why I was always single: "You push people away" "You don't try hard enough" "You're standards are too high" "You're after the wrong guys" "You're lucky". No one had ever really made it my choice.

"Just don't change too much," Amanda voice snapped me from my intense inner thoughts and mindlessly scrolling though my music. She was back in her chair all curled up, "I like this Grace a lot."

I laughed and picked my favorite song of all time: Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen, "I promise."

Notes

Oh Grace... it was so funny asking the girl that she's based on questions to try and write this chapter.

And Amanda? She's a friend that I want.

So, the views are still broken and at 0, but there are 17 subscribers (more then I could've wished for), 6 votes (and the rating is at 10 woooo) and 1 comment so you people must exist which is pretty cool :)

Anywho thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you guys someday. Also next chapter is the convention! (I've never been to one so I'm going to base it off of things that people have told me)