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Patrick Kane and Me

September 20th 2010: The Pat and Nat Wall

I walked through the airport dragging my luggage behind me. I was leaving Chicago, and maybe for good. I thought coming here with Pat would be fun; Chicago is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. The lights, the sounds, and the sights, I mean I used to hate the snow back in Buffalo, but now in Chicago it was my favorite season.

I stopped right before I got on the plane and took a breath, “Goodbye Chicago, until we meet again.”

<3<3<3<3<3

Pat’s POV:

I went to Jack Skille’s apartment after I left mine and Nat’s apartment last night. I would’ve gone to Jon’s apartment but I couldn’t have done that after what happened. Jack didn’t ask questions even though I knew he really wanted to. He knew that I was in love with my best friend, and I’m pretty sure everyone on the team knew, well except for Jon.

I don’t think Jon had a clue that it happened. I was really hoping Nat wouldn’t tell him. He would go fucking crazy. Especially after what happened with Hannah, he loved her a lot. And he was majorly whipped, Hannah could do anything she wanted, and I’m pretty sure she cheated on him anyway. That’s why she broke up with him, and used the excuse that he was an alcoholic. Jon’s a great guy too. That’s why I don’t want to hurt him. “Morning Jack,” I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. “Morning Kaner,” silence, “Okay am I gonna have to beat it out of you about what happened with Natalie or are you gonna tell me?” Yeah I knew this was gonna come up at one point or another.

“Fine, I’ll tell you,” I took a deep breath, “I kissed Natalie last night.”

“What? Fuck, Kane! Why would you do that! I mean I know you’re in love with her and all but still! She’s fucking with Jon!”

“Yeah I know but it wasn’t like she didn’t stop me, if you can believe it, she kissed me back.”

“No shit, Sherlock! It’s because she’s in love with you! She’s been in love with you. Have you talked to her since last night?” I shook my head, “Then I’d go talk to her, because who knows what’s going on inside her mind now.”

Then if on cue my phone rang. “Fuck,” I mumbled to myself. Lighting up on the screen was Jon’s name. A bunch of thoughts went through my mind. Did she tell him? If she did is he gonna yell at me? Or is he gonna take it easy on me? But he likes her a lot, of course he’s gonna yell at me. Fuck my life, “Hello?”

“Pat OhmyGod you answered. Have you heard from Natalie?” He seemed worried.

“Uh, not since last night. Why?”

“She won’t answer her phone, and I went over to your apartment and no one answered! And where the fuck, are you anyway?”

“I-I-I’m at Skille’s,” I finally spit out. “You know what I’ll meet you over there and see where she is. Okay?”

I got dressed and sped to my apartment. Natalie has to be there. But she probably doesn’t want to talk to anyone after what happened right? But what if she isn’t there? Where could she have gone? I met Jon at the door. “See Jon, her car is still here she has to be here.” He looked down at his shoes, “I didn’t hear anyone in the apartment last time I knocked.” I got out my key and opened the door, “Nat?” I called. No answer.

I walked throughout the apartment. Towards her room, the door was wide open. I walked in, “Nat?” I said quietly just in case she was sleeping? It looked like a tornado was in here. All the drawers were open and bare. Her closet was open and all of her things were gone. I sat on the bed with my elbows leaning on my knees and wiped my face. Did she seriously leave me? I can’t believe I was starting to cry because of it. Come on Kane suck it up! Stop being a pussy!' I wiped my eyes and stood up and looked for clues of where she’d gone. Nothing.

“Pat come in here!” Jon called from the other room. I ran to the living room. “What?” I looked around the room and saw where he was standing. “There’s glass on the ground. Do you think something could’ve happened to her?” I sighed and looked at the bare table where a picture used to be. “Jon, she’s gone. I looked in her room and nothing’s there. All of her clothes and everything is gone. Remember the picture that was here?” A small smile came to my face, “It was the picture from out first commercial with the hawks. The one with the playoff beards?” The signature Toews chuckle came out for a split second, “Yeah that was the first time I met her.”

He almost broke down, but he kept it together. I walked around into the kitchen. “Pat do you have any idea where she would go?” I shook my head. I grabbed a beer and sat down at the counter and there were two envelopes, one with my name on it and another with Jon’s name. “Jon! Get your ass over here. She left us letters.” He jumped up and ran over. I handed him mine and we both read our letters to ourselves.

Dear Pat,

I’m sorry but I can’t take this anymore. I left and by the time you’re reading this I’ll be on a plane to Buffalo. I knew coming here could’ve created some drama in one way or another. Jon and you are best friends and I know we are too but both of you work together every day and I don’t want my mistakes to affect your job that you’ve worked so hard for. This is your dream Pat, and you should never let it go just for me. And if you haven’t already known, I wanted to kiss you. So that was my mistake, not yours.

I love you, I always have, I always will

She’s back home. That’s where she is. “Jon she’s in Buffalo we have to go now!” I started running towards the door with my car keys. “Come on Jon what are you waiting for? Let’s go bring her back home!” He just stood there. He didn’t say anything. He crumpled up the paper and threw it down at the tile in the kitchen. “This is your fucking fault!” His back was still to me. Damn she must have told him. “Jon please I can explain.” He didn’t listen to me; he just stormed out of the apartment. Fuck. Now I have no idea where he’s going. Well most likely Buffalo. I went to the kitchen and picked up his letter.

Dear Jon,

I’m so sorry that I left you without any warning. And here’s my reason…I kissed Pat last night. Now you already know this or this may come as a shock to you. I know I should tell you in person but I can’t face you right now. You are really sweet. You spoil me, and I don’t deserve it. But I think I’m in love with my best friend. I loved you, but when he kissed me something was there that wasn’t there with you. Please don’t be mad at Pat, it’s my fault. Just forget about me. You’ll find a girl that’s better for you, because you really are a special guy Jon.

Goodbye.

I need to go to Buffalo, now.

<3<3<3<3<3<3

Natalie’s POV

I got off the plane to be met by my parents. I told them I was going to come home for awhile. I needed to see them, I’ve been away for so long. They didn’t ask anything about Pat, which I was happy about. I just needed space away from Chicago and all that’s a part of it.

I moved back into my old room. I still had the old McKee jersey framed and up in my princess room, with about 30 pictures of Pat and I around it, growing up through the years. There was pictures from graduation, play dates, homecomings, prom, hockey games, anything we did together there was a picture for it. I went over to the wall and took everything down and put them in my closet. Tears rolling down my eyes in the process, I took them all down one by one until that wall was completely bare.

My mom came in the room. “Natalie honey, what’s wrong?” I was crying into my pillow. I haven’t cried over a boy since prom and in this case it was the same boy. She sat on my bed and rubbed my back. “It’s about Pat isn’t it?” I sat up, “How’d you know?” She smiled, “Your Nat and Pat wall has nothing on it anymore, and because you never cry unless it’s about him.” I explained the situation to her. “I knew he would finally come to his senses and try something like that.” She laughed. “But Nat you’re going to have to face them eventually.”

I nodded my head, I knew that. I just didn’t want to at the moment. I screwed this up like I do everything. I put on a fake smile. “Thanks mom.” She kissed me on the head, “Any time.” I didn’t want to unpack any of my things just in case I changed my mind and wanted to go back to Chicago. And trust me, I’ve thought about it already, and I’ve only been here for about a couple hours.

<3<3<3<3<3

Around dinner, I kept to myself even though Dad wanted to know why I was here unexpectedly. My mom covered for me. “Ohhhh so it must have to do with Patrick Kane then.” My eyes widened as I looked up from my food. He laughed, and motioned towards the front door. He stood there with his hands in his pockets in the cold weather.

I ran over to the door, “Pat, what are you doing here?” He grabbed the back of his neck, “Can I talk to you, please?” I nodded my head and we went upstairs to my room. He looked around the pink room that we used to play in. His eyes went directly towards the bare wall. I knew what he was thinking; he didn’t even have to say. I sat on the bed, “Nat, I get why you left. I really do. And this isn’t your fault. I was the one that freaked out and left…” He kept talking but I stopped listening. I was lost in his baby blue eyes. He finally loves me; this is what I really wanted. I stood up and walked over to him. He was still babbling. And I kissed him. We deepened the kiss, and I saw sparks fly. Once we ended the kiss I opened my eyes, and he smiled, “What was that for?”

“I’m pretty sure you read both letters.” He nodded, “You wanna know my favorite part of both letters? That you told Jon you were in love with your best friend. Oh and I almost forgot, I have a letter for you too.” He pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to me.

Me too

I smiled. “So are you going to come back to Chicago with me?”

“Definitely.”

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