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A Summer to Remember


She followed me to the door and I thought I heard a small whisper, “Patrick,” from her, but I was going to break down and cry, and I couldn’t let her see me cry. She stood at the door before Tyler came in and slammed the door. Once I thought that she couldn’t see me anymore I let my emotions show. I ran my fingers through my hair and rested my head on the steering wheel and let a couple tears fall. But I shortly realized that I couldn’t sit in their driveway crying, I needed to get away from here.

As I reached the outside of the subdivision i got a text message from one of my sisters:

From JACKIE :):Hey, how’s it goin over there?

To JACKIE :) :I’m on my way home…

I didn’t get a response after that text. She must know it went badly. That was all I needed to make me happy again was her and now that I can’t have her I don’t know what to do anymore. I drove home unhappy and on the verge of crying. Once I got into the driveway I turned off the car and sat there thinking about things. I thought about Natalie and how much I wish that she was still mine, I thought about how much I want to kick Tyler’s ass, and the one thing that was really on my mind was that I needed a drink.

I went inside and everyone’s eyes were on me right away, but I didn’t talk to anyone. I went straight to the refrigerator to get a beer, still no comments from anyone as I felt the cool liquid slide down my throat. “Patrick? Are you okay?” Jackie was using her quiet voice for the first time in quite some time with me. I took another gulp before shaking my head, “She’s married.” Her eyes went wide, “You’re kidding,” I shook my head again, “Nope, I wish I was though. And you’ll never guess who she’s married to,” “Who?” “Tyler. Tyler Smith.” She had a confused look on her face, “I thought she didn’t like him awhile ago? Didn’t we all decide he was a stalker?” I raised my eye brows for a second at her, “Yep, that’s what I thought too.”

I wasn’t sad anymore, more like angry. It was hard to believe after 16 years that I’ve known her, she doesn’t tell me anything anymore. She didn’t tell me she was married, she didn’t tell me that her husband was Tyler either. So now I’m here and I’m reverting back to when she left the first time, alcohol. “I’m going upstairs Jack.” I took another bottle from the fridge and walked upstairs brushing past my mom. “Oh honey, I hope you had a good time with Natalie today because we’re having a little family reunion with the Kane family and the Vaughn family on Friday.” She was happy but that changed when she noticed how unexcited I was, “Oh honey what happened?” She took me into a hug, “She’s married Mom, married,” there was always something about a hug from Mom that I could just break down and cry like I was 2 again.

“I’m sorry baby, I really am. Do you want me to call off the party? Because I can if you want me to.” She said bringing out her motherly side again, trying to comfort her oldest son. “No Mom its fine. If you call it off then Nat will know that I’m having problems without her, and I can’t let her know that. She gave a deep sigh, “Okay if that’s what you want Pat.” I gave her a small grin and made my way up to my room. I felt like I was a girl, usually it’s the girl that has all of these problems, they’re really involved with their emotions and all that shit, that’s not supposed to be me. I’m supposed to be the macho tough guy player who can get any broad he wants in any city of the world, well at least in the ones that have hockey as one of their city sports.

I took another swig of my drink and started texting Jon. He told me when it happened, good or bad, I would have to tell him:

To: Tazer Hey man just got home from Nat’s place…you’ll nvr guess wat happened

From: Tazer Well im guessing it didn’t go as well as you hoped???

To: Tazer You guessed right… She’s married to that fucking jag off Tyler Smith.

From: Tazer ….Seriously? Well what else happened?

I proceeded to tell him about how she hadn’t thought she would see me for a long time, especially after how she walked out on me 5 years ago. I told him how he welcomed me into his house gave me a beer and told me how they’d been married since last April. Then, about the conversation Nat and I had about our relationship and how we were just going to be friends and nothing more because she’s married.

To: Tazer But I guess I’ll take wat I can get from her.

From: Tazer I’m sorry man… But on the bright side she didn’t seem like she was completely in love with this guy… U may still hav a chance.

To: Tazer You know you may have a point…

He really did, I mean when we were talking she still seemed like she was into me. Or it could’ve just been that way because I’ve been her best friend for ages it seems and she just missed me as friends. The one thing I still couldn’t get out of my mind was that our entire school age years she liked me and I didn’t have any idea, but know it’s flipped around. Everything was all a little too confusing and I didn’t like it. I’m always supposed to be in control, and right now I’m not in control of the situation at all which is pissing me off the most.

That night we had dinner and no one brought up Natalie, I know they wanted to so much but I was proud of them for just letting me be by myself for awhile. Throughout the day I’m pretty sure I had about 5 beers in the matter of 4 hours. That’s how it started last time I started drinking. But as of right now, I don’t give a fuck. I’m a young kid, and I’m allowed to party like an average mid 20’s year old. I don’t care if I get into a fight, I don’t care if I get arrested, and I especially don’t care if I beat the shit out of some middle aged cabbie that locks me in his car! Because I’m Patrick Fucking Kane and I’m a hockey superstar so if I want to drink God Damn it I’m going to drink.

Because nothing matters, Natalie is gone, out of my life; all that I have left is myself and my other best friend, Mr. Budweiser.


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