PART EIGHTY-EIGHT: A CHANGE OF HEART
Patrick’s POV

Gentle waves and the sounds of birds woke me up, rather than the cacophony of traffic that I was still used to waking up to. Being in Hawaii was a nice change, even if it did mean missing a week of hockey. Lena and I had been flexible; we were perfectly okay with waiting until the end of hockey season and playoffs to go on our honeymoon. Coach Q, however, told us we should go anyways. He could see how stressed planning the wedding had made us when we were at work, and he thought we both could use a break from everything. On top of that, he liked to give some of his players breaks to avoid injury anyways. I was fine, but he always had the worry that my wrist or ankle would come back to haunt me or get hurt worse in a game. I understood that breaks were necessary sometimes, but a week did seem like a lot. Maybe even too much. But the withdrawals hadn’t kicked in yet, so I pushed the thought away and returned to my sleepy reality.
It was a beautiful morning and I was in bed next to my new wife. That was my reality. And last night…last night was phenomenal. After a tiring, somewhat boring first day, it was a hell of a way to kick off the rest of our vacation. As the memories of the night came back to me, I moved closer to Lena and rested my hand on her waist. I kissed her on the nose and her eyes fluttered a little.
“Are you awake?” I whispered, even though I was sure of the answer.
“No,” she whispered back, a smile forming. I pressed my lips against hers and eventually she kissed back, after which I pulled away.
“Liar,” I accused her.
“Whatever,” she mumbled, closing her eyes and laying her head on my chest.
“Hey sleepyhead, I know you’re awake,” I harassed her.
“Not awake enough.”
“What’s it going to take to get you to fully wake up?” I asked.
“Coffee and a shower,” she told me.
“Okay, well, I’ll get some coffee started and then we can work on that shower,” I decided. I headed into the kitchen and got the coffee going, and Lena had finally gotten out of bed by the time I came back. I grabbed her wrist and led her into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I felt her arms wrap around me from behind and I turned around and smiled at her.
“I love you,” I promised, kissing her on her forehead.
“I love you too,” she answered. I turned on the water and we stripped out of our clothes as it heated up.
“I actually need to shower, Pat,” she said when she noticed me eyeing her.
“So do I,” I replied. We stepped into the shower and she claimed the shampoo first, after which I took it. The same went for the conditioner, and then she picked up the body wash, which I stole from her before she could open it.
“Let me,” I said. I lathered her body with soap and she did the same for me, after which I couldn’t exactly hide what I was feeling.
“Patrick…” Lena spoke as I kissed her neck. I thought she was about to protest.
“We don’t have to,” I told her, but she pressed me against the wall in response.
“I want to,” she assured me.

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After a quick breakfast, we got massages at the spa (which were amazing, I must say), and then we hit the beach. We decided it was going to be a nice, relaxing day, so we sunbathed, took some pictures, and swam a little. That night, we went all out for dinner - we went to the nicest place on the resort and actually tried some Hawaiian food. It was really good, and the service was great.
During the next couple of days, we did a lot of the activities that were offered at the resort. We gave surfing a try, we attended Hawaiian shows, and we explored a lot. The atmosphere was very light and fun, until the fifth night, when a really important topic came up.
Lena and I were taking a bath together, and I had created a really romantic setting - flower petals, candles, the works. Everything was going great until I realized that I had forgotten something.
“Crap. I have to go grab a condom, babe,” I said. I kissed her before getting out of the tub and retrieving one. When I came back, I didn’t want to waste any time.
“Wait a second, Pat,” Lena stopped me as I started to open the package.
“What? Do you not want to right now?”
“No, I do. I just…don’t know if we should use that,” she answered, motioning towards the little square package in my hand.
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I can pull out,” I decided.
“That’s not what I mean,” Lena corrected me, frustrated. “This might not be the best time to have such a serious conversation, but I feel like it needs to be brought up. I know we talked about waiting a few months or maybe even a year after we got married, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I’ve been seeing all the babies and little kids on the beach and I just-“
“Want to have kids?” I finished her sentence for her.
“Maybe,” she hesitated, as if she was afraid of the way I might react. The truth was that I thought about things like that all the time. I thought about it whenever I saw kids, just like her. But I also thought about hockey, and how much it had always dominated my life. I didn’t want it to stop me from being there for important check ups, or when the baby would be born. I needed to be there.
“I want kids too, Lean. I’ve been thinking about that. Honestly, the only thing I’m worried about is hockey getting in the way. I don’t want that to happen. I want to be able to be there for you and the baby.”
“I know you do, Pat, but you’re living the hockey life here. We both are, and we will be for a while. Even with our busy schedules, we can figure things out. We can schedule around it, we can make exceptions, and even if everything doesn’t go perfectly, I know you’ll do your best to be there eventually. That’s all that matters. That’s the best we can do. I’m not saying that we have to try right now. We have plenty of time, and maybe we should just relax and enjoy our marriage a little longer, but I want you to know that it’s on my mind, and it’s something I want in the near future as long as you want it too.” I thought about what she said for a moment and smiled.
“Do you want to try for a baby now?” I questioned her.
“I…I thought I did…but we can’t make an impulsive decision on something like this. I don’t know that I’m absolutely sure,” Lena contemplated.
“Okay,” I responded, placing a kiss on her forehead.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized suddenly.
“For what?”
“For ruining the moment.”
“Hey, don’t be sorry about that. It won’t take much to create another moment,” I said, pulling her close to me. Sure enough, a few minutes later, we were able to finish what we had started.

Maybe we weren’t going to have kids just yet, but I didn’t care. We would figure that out. We could probably plan it so that the birth wouldn’t happen during the hockey season, and we could make sure we were prepared when it happened, if we waited. Just relaxing and enjoying being a married couple was just fine with me for the time being. When we were both ready to start a family, we’d make it happen.

Notes