I Was a Dreamer before You Went and Let Me Down

-Jesy-

“Jessica Lynn!” I turn to the sound of my name to see 3 people from my staff staring me down “You’ve been here for 12 hours” Matt says and I nod “There’s 3 other bartenders, go home! Go upstairs and watch New Years Rocking Eve and down a bottle of wine, or go to bed, or watch a movie. I don’t care but go home!”

“Fine” I mumble and make my way to the back of the bar and up the stairs. I change out of my jeans and Sabres shirt, slipping on comfy jogging pants and pulling Sid’s hoodie over my head. I throw my hair up in a bun and take my makeup off.

I plop down on the couch with a glass of wine and turn the TV on, it’s just after 11 not bad timing I think to myself as I roll my eyes at Ryan Seacrest’s and Jenny McCarthy’sgoofy antics.

-Sidney-

A loss that’s hard to swallow on New Year’s Eve. I change into my suit and reach into my pocket retrieving my phone. I look at the text from Amy again all it says is *she still misses you* with a picture of Jesy sleeping wearing the penguins hoodie I folded up in her sabres one. A voice behind me distracts me from my phone I turn to face Mario

“What’s up Mario?”

“Have you talked to her at all?” he asks hopefully

“No” I say with a laugh

“You should”

“What’s the point she made it clear what she wanted when she left. Ya know for someone that was so against me having a relationship you’re now the biggest supporter”

“Get your ass to Buffalo Crosby” he says a little more sternly

“What’s that gonna do?”

“Go” he says and hands me a plane ticket I just nod and make my way out of the arena

-Jesy-

11:30, thank goodness only a half hour left of the bouncing between Times Square and the feed from the local news channel 7 in Buffalo

“Seriously!” I say to the TV with an exaggerated sigh pouring my second glass of wine “At least there’s some order to Times Square. This sucks” I groan at the people on the TV acting even more awkward than the 2 celebrities in New York City. The feed switches again and I sigh in relief.

When a commercial comes on I glance at my phone, no new messages light up across the screenyet I slide my finger across the glass anyway opening the message from Geno from two days ago *Sid is miserable* is all it says and I read it in his Russian accent over and over. I didn’t respond to it then, and I still don’t now, I don’t know what to say to that. Am I supposed to write back that I miss him, that I’m miserable too, that maybe I shouldn’t have left like that?

It’s not late, he’s probably still up, sitting on the bed in a hotel or maybe on a chair close to the window. The TV’s probably off and he’s probably dwelling on the loss from earlier today.His thoughts are far from Buffalo and me, or they could be right where mine are, curled up in his bed watching endless stupid animated Christmas specials from our childhood, or in his kitchen him cooking while I sit awkwardly on the counter watching him cook, trying to move out of the way and getting scolded to stay right where I am so he can turn around and kiss me any time he feels necessary. I shake that thought from my head, not Sidney his mind is still on the ice over analyzing every move he made, every move every person on that ice made, his mind isn’t wondering what it would be like to be sitting on my couch tucked under a blanket together ringing in the New Year.

-Sidney-

The airport is packed and my flight is delayed I sigh and count the hours, will I make it before midnight? When they finally call the plane for boarding I’m off the chair I was sitting in and in the line faster than most people can process the flight that’s just been called. Once I’m in the seat I fidget, relaxing only when the plane finally takes off it’s only an hour flight but I spent a good chunk of time stuck in the airport for an unknown reason.

When I finally land in Buffalo it’s already close to 11 pm. By the time I make to baggage claim and get my bag and make my way to rent a car I’m cutting it close. It’s at least 20 minutes from the airport to Jesy’s and that’s without traffic. I get in the car thanking the person that brought it up front and take off hoping to make it through in time.

-Jesy-

11:55pm I yawn grabbing a couple of Christmas cookies from the fridge, I debate going to bed, but it’s only 5 more minutes before I ring in the new year with the rest of the east coast. I sit back down on the couch taking a sip of my wine and eating my cookies.

I get ready typing a happy new year into a few of the conversation threads on my phone, not hitting send but having them to send. 11:57 I sigh I swear this is the longest 3 minutes of the entire year.

-Sidney-

11:57 pm I turn the corner and can see the bar; I press my foot harder on the gas and come to a skidding stop in the parking lot. I throw the car in park and kill the engine exiting fast and making my way for the bar. I walk in and see Matt, and 2 other girls I recognize but cant place names.I make eye contact with Matt who rolls his eyes but points upstairs I nod in thanks and push my way to the back of the bar. I slide to a stop in the back hallway 11:59 I take a deep breath and make my way up the stairs. I wait and debate what I’m about to do as I hear the countdown get closer. My hand raises to rap on the door

“Who the hell?”I hear her say from the other side of the door before I hear her get up.

-Jesy-

Only 30 more seconds until the new year. I watch the people in the crowd counting down smiling even though they’re freezing. 15 seconds I hear a knock on my door
“Who the hell?” I ask and look at my phone not seeing any texts of anyone coming over. I get up quietly and make my way to the door.
5…..4…..3… I open the door“Sid” is all I get out before the countdown hits one the crowds scream happy new year and Sidney’s lips find mine.

He pulls away slowly keeping his arm around my waist “Happy New Year” he says quietly

“What are you…. How did you…. Why are….. Happy New Year” I stammer out I let my eyes drop to his plain white shirt and shiny baby blue tie topped off with a gray suit coat, straight from the game I think and then remember I’m in my pajamas I almost move my hand to run it through my hair before remember its up in bun and I sigh dramatically before looking at him again “What are you doing here?” I ask stepping into my apartment with him right behind me

“Kissing you on New Years”

“How did you..” I start

“Airplane, cool invention that makes Newark and Buffalo only an hour trip, when you’re not delayed”

“But I don’t..” I start again only to be cut off when he smiles

“Go figure Mario bought the ticket” I reach up and take the hair tie out of my hair feeling a headache coming on

“Why? Why now, why here” I run my hand through my hair shaking it out from being up

“Because” he says quietly pulling me closer to him “Amy told me you’ve been sleeping with my sweater and that maybe you might miss me just a little bit. And if I know Geno, or half my team for that matter has probably told you I’m not doing much better” he smiles running his hand through my hair sending a shiver down my spine “I love you and I’m not going anywhere, not this time”

“But” I say and then stop when he kisses my temple

“Go ahead, tell me you can’t trust me”

“It’s not that” I say and look up at his questioning eyes

“Then what?”

“Maybe I’m scared” I whisper

“Of what?” his voice is full of concern and I feel my eyes fill with tears

“That one day you’ll leave again”

“Jesy”

“It’s a legitimate fear, you’ve done it before”

“I know and I’m sorry and I can only promise that I won’t so many times, you just have to believe me”

“Why?”

“Because maybe I’m scared too”

“You? Of What?” I say sounding more sarcastic than I intend to

“That you’ll wake up one morning and decide you don’t want someone who’s not around enough. That you’ll hate me, that we’ll have kids that hate me, that..” he rambles and I cut him off

“Sidney, shut up” I say and he looks at me in surprise “I’ve loved you for the past 6 years, if I haven’t walked away yet I’m not going to now”

His smile spreads across his face and I find myself smiling too “I love you baby” he says kissing my forehead

“I know” I joke

“Jesy” he whines and I laugh but give in

“I love you too superstar”

Notes

Sometimes when writers block is gone, its so gone that you write 2 chapters in a 24 hour period, and since this one was prevalent to the current time period I decided to post it. Song credit goes to One Direction "Half a Heart". Enjoy!