I Was a Dreamer before You Went and Let Me Down

-Jesy-

I walk around my apartment check list in hand making sure I have everything ready, a knock on my door pulls me from my concentration and I open it to reveal my mom “Hi” I say turning from the door towards the suitcase on my couch checking once again to make sure everything is in its place.

“Where are you going?” she asks sitting down on the chair across from me

“Pittsburgh, we talked about this already I’m going to visit Sid and Geno before they leave for Sochi, and going to my first Penguins game and meeting the parts of his team I haven’t already met” I say with a tinge of annoyance in my voice

“You’re going for the whole week?”

“No, I’m leaving after the sabres game tomorrow and coming back on Sunday”

“I don’t understand why you feel the need to go there, you could just say goodbye to them after the sabres game tomorrow”

“Just a thought here mom, because he’s my boyfriend and he’s going to be on the other side of the world for a couple weeks”

“You didn’t go see him before Vancouver in 2010”

“That was Vancouver which is the other side of the continent not the other side of the planet. What is the real problem here mom?”

“Honey it’s just dad and I are worried about you, ya know the whole Sidney thing has always been a little…..” she trails off and I look up from my suitcase to make eye contact with her, her matching blue eyes stare into mine “We just don’t want you to get hurt” I just stare at her unable to think of what to say to that and after a moment of awkward silence she gets up to leave.

I finish packing everything and double checking everything, I sit down on the couch and let out a long sigh running a hand through my hair, of course my parents don’t understand. Nobody does, nobody see’s the Sidney I see. I lean my head back on the couch and close my eyes and in what seems like a few minutes I hear the door open, I pop my eyes open only to be met with Sidney’s brown ones

“Hey, sleeping beauty” he says leaning down and planting a soft kiss on my forehead “All packed I see. Are you sure you don’t just want to fly down with the team? It will be easy to get you a flight back or rent a car to drive back. I’d really rather you fly with us I don’t like the thought of you driving at 10:30 at night”

“Sid” I say and he shakes his head

“Please Jesy, its winter the roads could be bad it’s a 4 hour drive at night who knows if there’s deer out or other animals and if you break down that’s an awfully lonely stretch of road, just fly with us baby” he says plopping down next to me on the couch and kissing my neck “I’ll try to talk flower into giving up his spot on the plane”

“Ok, but I will not sit next to you, flower will, I don’t mess with superstitions!” he chuckles and pulls me closer into his side “Sid” I start not knowing how to phrase what I want to say and I feel him nod “My parents don’t want me to go, actually nobody does”

“That’s not entirely true, I want you to, so does Geno, and the rest of the team” I look at him with a slightly annoyed look and he sighs “Well what did you want me to say to that?”

“I don’t know” I say running my hand through my hair

“What’s really wrong?”

“It’s just, my dad has never liked you, but I think you know that, I don’t think he likes any guy”

“He liked Jon”

“Don’t go there”

“Just stating the obvious”

“Well my mom thinks you’re just gonna break my heart again and so does pretty much every employee and friend I have and I just… I don’t know”

“Did any of them think that about..” he starts and I cut him off standing in front of him

“I don’t care what they thought about Jon! I care what they think about you! I want to tell them that they just don’t know anything about you that if they could see how we are together that they wouldn’t think that! I want to tell them that they couldn’t possibly understand because they haven’t been me in this situation, they’re only judging what they’ve seen in the past and it’s not fair” I say pacing around the living room

“Then what’s stopping you” he says calmly

“I need to hear that from you, that you’ll be there when I need you that they’re wrong. I just need someone else on my side for once because I feel like I’m by myself and they just don’t get it because they don’t see this”


“Come here” he says quietly standing from the couch I step into his side resting my head on his shoulder as he wraps his arms tightly around my waist “You are not all by yourself, ok, don’t forget that. I love you, now go get ready I’m taking you out to dinner with the boys and as pretty as I think you look in those jogging pants of mine I don’t think a restaurant like Oliver’s will be too happy” I laugh looking down at my black jogging pants with the word penguins running down one leg and an 87 clearly above the pocket of the other leg

“But these are so much more comfortable than dresses and heels in the winter, can’t they make an exception” I fake whine and Sid laughs

“I’d take you out like that; just add ugg boots, a north face jacket and a bun on top of your head, perfect.”

“That sounds awful no one would take me serious” I say as I walk back towards my room.

I sift through my closet for an outfit and then cross the hall to get in the shower.

-Sidney-

I wait until I hear the shower running before I grab her phone off the table and send a text to her mom. A few minutes passes before I hear a knock on the door and answer it seeing both her parents standing in the doorway

“Sidney” her dad says with a short nod and I nod in return

“Mr. and Mrs. Murdock, thank you for coming over” I step out of the doorway and let them in “I wanted to talk to you both...” I start before being cut off

“Thank you for the tickets to the game tomorrow, however we can’t accept them” Her dad says and I sigh “Problem?”

“With all due respect, sir; yes. I fully understand that neither of you like me, and before you say that’s not the case I know you never have. I also know I haven’t exactly given you a reason to like me, but your daughter does, matter of fact your daughter loves me and regardless of what you think I love her very much. I haven’t always been the best boyfriend I could to her and I’m sorry but I can’t take those years back, as much as I want to I can’t but Jesy has forgiven me and thank God she did.”

“She’s our only child Sidney” her mom says and I nod

“I know Mrs. Murdock and I know you both only want to protect her, but I’m not going to hurt her, and before either of you say ‘but you did before’ I know I did and in doing so I almost lost the person that doesn’t look at me as a hockey statistic, and I can’t do that again I can’t lose her”

-Jesy-

I get out of the shower and blow dry my hair quickly before running my straightener through it to eliminate the frizz, I do my typical practiced makeup routine and pull my dress shirt over my head and my gray slacks up.A last check in the mirror and I nod before exiting the bathroom. I quickly grab the 2 pairs of shoes I tossed on the bed and start down the hall to ask Sid which ones he likes better. I stop when I hear the voices of my parents I inwardly groan figuring this is going to end in a fight, Sid’s voice makes me smile

“Mr. Murdock trust me if I was in your shoes I would be doing everything I can to keep my daughter away from a guy like me, but I’m telling you right now, I’m not going anywhere. I plan on marrying your daughter, with or without your blessing.”

I turn the corner and make eye contact with Sid who just smiles at me “Hi” I say and my parents turn around. For the first time ever I see their expression change towards Sidney and my mind sighs in relief “Babe, which shoes?” I ask holding the 2 pairs up

“Oh God, don’t make me do this Jesy, I don’t match well” he says bewildered

“Sidney, dear they both match” my mom says and he runs a hand through his hair causing my mom to laugh she steps closer and whispers something in his ear and I see him smile

“The black pumps” he says and I laugh

“Thanks mom. That’s going to be his default shoe now”

“I can see it now ‘Sid which of these goes better?’ “The black pumps” ‘Sid, I’m holding sneakers’” my dad teases with a laugh

“That’s it Mrs. Murdock I’m taking your number out of her phone and putting it in mine so that I can send you pictures of every shoe option she ever gives me”

“Smart idea” my dad says with a laugh

My parents leave a few minutes later and I make my way back to my room to put on perfume “Sid? Have you seen my purse?” I ask looking around all the usual places I leave it sit

“What’s it look like?” he says from in the kitchen

“It’s gray with… are you eating? We’re going out to dinner fat ass” he rolls his eyes at me and bites into the apple in his hand

“It’s gray with?”

“Oh right little squares on it”

“You mean this thing right here?” he says grabbing my bag off the table and I just nod as we head out the door.

-Next day-

I sit cross-legged on the floor of First Niagara Center, the game ended almost a full hour ago and here I sit waiting for the Penguins so we can leave. I close my eyes and start to drift off when I hear a voice above me calling my name I pop my eyes open and smile at Marcus Foligno

“Hey Marcus” I say trying to sound awake

“Why the hell are you sitting on the floor in the hallway Jesy?”

“I am waiting for a team of men that take forever to change, just to fly home to sleep anyway” I say trying not to yawn and failing

“So that’s really a thing again huh?”

“Hockey players gossip worse than drunken women” I say running a hand through my hair

“Hey when the girl who all through high school says she’s never going to date a hockey player dates a hockey player the news spreads especially for the guys who grew up with her. I’m telling Pat”

“Oh my God are you 5!? Which Pat?”

“The one that’s not here”

“Neither of them are here and furthermore how do you even remotely know how I was in high school!? You’re just a baby, I graduated by the time you hit any Buffalo high school”

“Kaleta, and I know how you were in high school because you went to school with my brother Nick, who had a huge crush on you and you turned him down. Just to turn around and date Crosby…. Maybe I should call Nick now, let him know you’re back off the market”

“You were such a nice little kid, now you’re just a tall twerp”

“Eh you love me”

“I guess you’re still a good kid, how is Nick anyway”

“He’s Nick”

“Amazingly that sums him up.” I say and Marcus laughs we talk for a bit before some of the Penguins start to file out of the dressing room along with some of the Sabres. I say quick hello’s to the guys before long we are standing on the Penguins’ plane.

I yawn talking to Sid and Flower while the rest of the guys file into the plane and take their regular seats, once everyone is seated I plop myself down in a corner seat in the back next to an empty seat. Once the plane takes off I curl my feet up on the seat next to me and drift off to sleep.

-Sidney-

We land in Pittsburgh and I stand and stretch turning to see Jesy still fast asleep in her seat. “Hey Geno? Help me out?” I say pointing at Jesy he nods heading off the plane “Her bag is….. it will be obvious it’s a Sabres bag” I turn back and unbuckle her seat belt picking her up easily.

“It’s pretty cold out there” Nealer says tossing my suit coat over Jesy and I nod in thanks exiting the plane.

Geno follows me to my truck and puts the bags in the bag while I put Jesy in the back seat

“This girl can sleep through anything. Thanks Geno” he waves and heads off as I get in the truck and head home

-Jesy-

I wake up when I feel something stop and I open my eyes to see the house in from of me “When did we land” I mumble and Sid laughs “More than 10 minutes ago?” he only nods getting out of the car I follow him and grab my bag walking into the house.
“Sidney? Is that you Honey? Gosh I thought you would be back a lot sooner than now” I hear a woman’s voice and I look at Sid with a questioning look, until awoman turns the corner that I instantly recognize from old interview videos I used to watch as his mother “Oh, I didn’t know you were… who’s this?”

“Mom this is Jesy, my girlfriend. Dad?”

“He’s upstairs, girlfriend? Oh hi honey you must think I’m terrible I’m Sidney’s mother, you can call me Trina and my husband Troy is upstairs. And I wish I knew who you were Jesy” I just smile and look at Sid for help who just shrugs his shoulders

“Hi, Mrs. Crosby. I’m sure that’s not entirely on Sid that you know nothing about me”

“Trina honey call me Trina” she says hugging me as Sid mouths a sorry “Now come here and tell me all about you, Sidney honey go find your dad” she says shooing him away and I feel myself panic. She pulls me into the kitchen “Tea?” I nod with a smile as she pours the hot water over the bag and hands me the steaming mug, I add sugar and cream and stare up at her “I know who you are honey” she says her voice almost sounding sad

“Oh, um” I start and she cuts me off

“I’m sorry my husband was an ass, I know all of it, and honey I’m so sorry about the baby” she says and I nod trying to smile “It’s ok to cry” she says stepping around the island to hug me and I smile at her.

“Thank you Mrs…. Trina, I’m ok now, or at least more than I was a month ago. My parents and friends really helped a lot during that time but I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t enough. Something about being here, seeing Sidney the person and not Sidney the hockey player, knowing it hurt him the way it hurt me. The way losing our child couldn’t hurt anyone but us and finally knowing he hurt for something seemed to be what I, actually what we needed to heal”

“Good” she says patting my cheek as Sid and his dad round the corner

“Everything ok in here?” Sid asks and his mom nods kissing him on the cheek “Baby what’s wrong?” he asks looking between his mother and me

“Nothing anymore, right honey?” his mom asks hugging me again and I nod “Come on Troy, let’s leave them be. Sidney we’ll see you at the airport. Jesy, I hope to see you very soon” Sid nods and I smile

“How about dinner here tomorrow? Is that soon enough?” I ask with a smile and his mom nods “Around say 6:30?”

“I’ll bring desert” she says before ushering her husband out the front door

“Amazing” Sid says and I smile patting him on the shoulder

“Yeah yeah I’m pretty great, let’s go to bed huh?” he nods and follows me up the stairs our bags in hand

Notes

Song credit goes to Little Mix 'They Just Don't Know You'. Sorry about the wait I had half of a completely different chapter written and then I was listening to this song at work and the idea just hit me and this is what I came up with!