I Was a Dreamer before You Went and Let Me Down
And the Story of Us Looks a lot like a Tragedy Now
-Jesy 23-
I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing and I reach for the device on my night stand “Hello?” I ask groggily
“Jesy” I hear a heavy accent say and I sit up in bed
“Geno? You never call me what’s wrong?” I ask worriedly
“I know sometimes is ok, sometimes not ok, but news should not tell you” he rambles
“Geno, tell me what? Spit it out” I say running a hand through my hair clutching my cell phone
“Is Sid”
“What about him?” I practically yell, so technically we were on again off again for the past year and a half and are currently off again but it was still rational to worry when a conversation started like this right?”
“His head, hurt, headaches, dizzy, lights bad”
“Concussion?” I offer hearing his frustration
“Yes! How you say?”He asks and I sound the word out slowly
“What should I do Geno? I haven’t talked to him in like 2 months”
“Is up to you. News couldn’t tell you, not right”
I say my goodbyes and hang up the phone running a hand through my hair trying to remember the last Penguins game I watched “God I’ve been ignoring the entire team because of him” I say to my empty apartment.
-Fast forward 11 months Jesy 24-
I bite my nails waiting, my concentration on the tv is broken when someone asks for a drink and I pour it absentmindedly. As the players skate onto the ice I hold my breath and when I see that 87 make its way out I sigh in relief as the crowd in Pittsburgh goes wild. No one pays attention to me, with several other games on besides the Pittsburgh one I know for sure no one is watching me panic behind the bar every time someone gets within 3 feet of Sidney.
“Don’t know what you’re freaking out about Jesy it’s not like you even talked to him” Amy says walking behind me to grab a beer
“I know, I just can’t talk to him we tried a few times it just…. I don’t know it’s not the same is all”
“Is it because now there’s no relationship he’s just using you for sex”
“He is not… I wouldn’t… It’s not… Don’t you have a customer that needs a beer?!” I stammer as I feel my cheeks flush red she turns to walk away from me with a victorious smile “I haven’t even seen him in a year” I yell after her
“It’s amazing what happens when you’re bed ridden, I bet he’ll be back now” she says back
-Sidney 25-
I drum my fingers across the hardwood yet another meeting about something I don’t want to talk about. With the threat of another lockout looming over us and all eyes on me to solve it I find myself getting more irritated by the minute.
As I finally get to leave the building I sigh looking at the time on my phone, 4 hours of talking and still nothing resolved. I see I have a text from Jesy asking about the meeting and I text back an irritated reply. Running a hand through my hair I make my way to the airport I need a break from this, and it’s been a while since I’ve seen Jesy, I make my way towards Buffalo.
-Jesy 25-
I pace the length of the floor of the bar, this place is known for always having the hockey games on when Time Warner Cable briefly dropped the network this place was even more packed for every hockey game, but a lockout could kill me not only as a fan but as an owner. As I panic I do the only thing I can think to do I text Sid and ask him about the meetings hoping to get positive feedback, when he texts back I let out an irritated sigh.
“Jesy, my favorite bartender” I look up to the voice to see Jay McKee walking through the door
“Not now Jay” I mumble
“No Jesy you’ll like this one, according to my sources the Captain is in town” he says and I feel myself look at him in confusion “Your favorite Captain” he waits and I just stare at him more “Sidney, Sidney is in town” he says frustrated
“One, he’s not my favorite Captain, two no he isn’t” I say grabbing a broom to do some busy work
“Not yet” he says in a sing song voice and I roll my eyes at him “Better go freshen up Jesy my dear, you smell like a dirty bar”
“Out! Out, go away you’re bugging me and insulting me and I don’t care if you are my best friends uncle out!” I say pushing him towards the door
“Oh you love me and my antics, and you love your precious Sidney for other reasons” he says with a smug smile
“That ended 2 years ago” I say defensively
“My niece talks” I only nod “Seriously though Jesy” he says with raised eye brows
“I’m fine Jay, I promise”
He nods once and slowly makes his way out of the door. I slump down in a chair and sigh realizing I’ve picked the Penguins table, I trace over the signatures of Kris Letang, James Neal, Geno, Marc-Andre Fleury, and Brooks Orpik among others I sigh when I get to Sidney’s off on an edge- not near the middle where you would expect it to be- signed when he was that kind of guy the one who lets the team speak for him instead of him speaking for the team. I inch my hand towards his sloppy lopsided S and stop myself deciding instead to trace over Matt Niskanen’s.
I sit and trace the signatures on the table, avoiding his and when I look at the clock again over an hour has passed. I get up from my sulking position and look down at myself, hair tied up in a messy ponytail an old sabres shirt of my dad’s 2 sizes too big at least and hanging almost mid thigh covering all but a thin strip of my shorts, perfect for a day of inventory and cleaning, not so perfect for being a bar owner.
I make my way towards the back door to go up to my apartment I yawn as my bare feet pad across the floor, maybe I’ll mix a nap in if I manage to get dressed quick enough, I open the back door as the rush of slightly warmer air of the hall hits my face and I scrunch up my nose another humid Buffalo day. I make my way up the stairs and to my apartment door opening it and stepping inside to the cool air conditioning.
I take a lukewarm shower and towel dry my hair pulling it back up into a high ponytail this time, I quickly apply a small amount of makeup and get dressed I look at the clock and set an alarm for an hour and crawl into my bed.
I wake up to knocking on my door, I get up and make my way down the hall to open it. My eyes meet a familiar body and I look up to see Sidney staring back at me
“Sid? What are you doing here?” I ask stepping back as he walks in the door and casually pinching myself to make sure I’m awake, it hasn’t been long since the last time I’ve seen him but it’s been long enough that I was not expecting this especially not with all the things going on in the NHL
He smiles softly, just like that I already know why he’s here and even though I keep telling myself not again I feel my heart beat just a little faster “I just missed you Jesy” he says softly pulling me into a hug and just like that I give in. If there’s one thing he’s learned it’s how to get exactly what he wants in under a paragraph.
-Sidney-
She smiles at me, and I know the answer is yes even though I haven’t asked but the sadness in her eyes as she turns away from me to lock the door breaks my heart. She turns back to me and I kiss her slowly pulling her in close, when I break the kiss I stay close enough that everything is out of focus.
We stay like that for a moment before I kiss her again slowly deepening the kiss, she pulls away and runs a hand through my hair “Sidney” she says quietly and I feel a shiver run down my spine
“Yeah baby” I say back matching her quiet tone, if she asked for the world I’d give it to her on a silver platter anything to get her to really smile
“Promise me something” she says, it’s our favorite lie I know where this is going so I nod “Stay this time…. Please” the one thing I can’t do, she sounds so broken and is asking for something so simple and yet even as I’m nodding I know I’ll leave
“Ok” I whisper in her ear and kiss her jaw “I’ll stay, I promise”
-Jesy-
Even as he says he will I hear the regret in his voice, it’s his favorite lie and I believe it every time, hoping this time he’ll hear how broken I am, take it seriously and just stay. I take for granted that for once he will understand that I can’t take this kind of relationship and as his lips connect with mine I know he’ll be gone in the morning. Even though I follow him to my room I feel my heart break just a little more.
“You’ll be the death of me Sidney” I mumble as he kisses my neck
“Not if you kill me first” he says back as he closes my door behind him
I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing and I reach for the device on my night stand “Hello?” I ask groggily
“Jesy” I hear a heavy accent say and I sit up in bed
“Geno? You never call me what’s wrong?” I ask worriedly
“I know sometimes is ok, sometimes not ok, but news should not tell you” he rambles
“Geno, tell me what? Spit it out” I say running a hand through my hair clutching my cell phone
“Is Sid”
“What about him?” I practically yell, so technically we were on again off again for the past year and a half and are currently off again but it was still rational to worry when a conversation started like this right?”
“His head, hurt, headaches, dizzy, lights bad”
“Concussion?” I offer hearing his frustration
“Yes! How you say?”He asks and I sound the word out slowly
“What should I do Geno? I haven’t talked to him in like 2 months”
“Is up to you. News couldn’t tell you, not right”
I say my goodbyes and hang up the phone running a hand through my hair trying to remember the last Penguins game I watched “God I’ve been ignoring the entire team because of him” I say to my empty apartment.
-Fast forward 11 months Jesy 24-
I bite my nails waiting, my concentration on the tv is broken when someone asks for a drink and I pour it absentmindedly. As the players skate onto the ice I hold my breath and when I see that 87 make its way out I sigh in relief as the crowd in Pittsburgh goes wild. No one pays attention to me, with several other games on besides the Pittsburgh one I know for sure no one is watching me panic behind the bar every time someone gets within 3 feet of Sidney.
“Don’t know what you’re freaking out about Jesy it’s not like you even talked to him” Amy says walking behind me to grab a beer
“I know, I just can’t talk to him we tried a few times it just…. I don’t know it’s not the same is all”
“Is it because now there’s no relationship he’s just using you for sex”
“He is not… I wouldn’t… It’s not… Don’t you have a customer that needs a beer?!” I stammer as I feel my cheeks flush red she turns to walk away from me with a victorious smile “I haven’t even seen him in a year” I yell after her
“It’s amazing what happens when you’re bed ridden, I bet he’ll be back now” she says back
-Sidney 25-
I drum my fingers across the hardwood yet another meeting about something I don’t want to talk about. With the threat of another lockout looming over us and all eyes on me to solve it I find myself getting more irritated by the minute.
As I finally get to leave the building I sigh looking at the time on my phone, 4 hours of talking and still nothing resolved. I see I have a text from Jesy asking about the meeting and I text back an irritated reply. Running a hand through my hair I make my way to the airport I need a break from this, and it’s been a while since I’ve seen Jesy, I make my way towards Buffalo.
-Jesy 25-
I pace the length of the floor of the bar, this place is known for always having the hockey games on when Time Warner Cable briefly dropped the network this place was even more packed for every hockey game, but a lockout could kill me not only as a fan but as an owner. As I panic I do the only thing I can think to do I text Sid and ask him about the meetings hoping to get positive feedback, when he texts back I let out an irritated sigh.
“Jesy, my favorite bartender” I look up to the voice to see Jay McKee walking through the door
“Not now Jay” I mumble
“No Jesy you’ll like this one, according to my sources the Captain is in town” he says and I feel myself look at him in confusion “Your favorite Captain” he waits and I just stare at him more “Sidney, Sidney is in town” he says frustrated
“One, he’s not my favorite Captain, two no he isn’t” I say grabbing a broom to do some busy work
“Not yet” he says in a sing song voice and I roll my eyes at him “Better go freshen up Jesy my dear, you smell like a dirty bar”
“Out! Out, go away you’re bugging me and insulting me and I don’t care if you are my best friends uncle out!” I say pushing him towards the door
“Oh you love me and my antics, and you love your precious Sidney for other reasons” he says with a smug smile
“That ended 2 years ago” I say defensively
“My niece talks” I only nod “Seriously though Jesy” he says with raised eye brows
“I’m fine Jay, I promise”
He nods once and slowly makes his way out of the door. I slump down in a chair and sigh realizing I’ve picked the Penguins table, I trace over the signatures of Kris Letang, James Neal, Geno, Marc-Andre Fleury, and Brooks Orpik among others I sigh when I get to Sidney’s off on an edge- not near the middle where you would expect it to be- signed when he was that kind of guy the one who lets the team speak for him instead of him speaking for the team. I inch my hand towards his sloppy lopsided S and stop myself deciding instead to trace over Matt Niskanen’s.
I sit and trace the signatures on the table, avoiding his and when I look at the clock again over an hour has passed. I get up from my sulking position and look down at myself, hair tied up in a messy ponytail an old sabres shirt of my dad’s 2 sizes too big at least and hanging almost mid thigh covering all but a thin strip of my shorts, perfect for a day of inventory and cleaning, not so perfect for being a bar owner.
I make my way towards the back door to go up to my apartment I yawn as my bare feet pad across the floor, maybe I’ll mix a nap in if I manage to get dressed quick enough, I open the back door as the rush of slightly warmer air of the hall hits my face and I scrunch up my nose another humid Buffalo day. I make my way up the stairs and to my apartment door opening it and stepping inside to the cool air conditioning.
I take a lukewarm shower and towel dry my hair pulling it back up into a high ponytail this time, I quickly apply a small amount of makeup and get dressed I look at the clock and set an alarm for an hour and crawl into my bed.
I wake up to knocking on my door, I get up and make my way down the hall to open it. My eyes meet a familiar body and I look up to see Sidney staring back at me
“Sid? What are you doing here?” I ask stepping back as he walks in the door and casually pinching myself to make sure I’m awake, it hasn’t been long since the last time I’ve seen him but it’s been long enough that I was not expecting this especially not with all the things going on in the NHL
He smiles softly, just like that I already know why he’s here and even though I keep telling myself not again I feel my heart beat just a little faster “I just missed you Jesy” he says softly pulling me into a hug and just like that I give in. If there’s one thing he’s learned it’s how to get exactly what he wants in under a paragraph.
-Sidney-
She smiles at me, and I know the answer is yes even though I haven’t asked but the sadness in her eyes as she turns away from me to lock the door breaks my heart. She turns back to me and I kiss her slowly pulling her in close, when I break the kiss I stay close enough that everything is out of focus.
We stay like that for a moment before I kiss her again slowly deepening the kiss, she pulls away and runs a hand through my hair “Sidney” she says quietly and I feel a shiver run down my spine
“Yeah baby” I say back matching her quiet tone, if she asked for the world I’d give it to her on a silver platter anything to get her to really smile
“Promise me something” she says, it’s our favorite lie I know where this is going so I nod “Stay this time…. Please” the one thing I can’t do, she sounds so broken and is asking for something so simple and yet even as I’m nodding I know I’ll leave
“Ok” I whisper in her ear and kiss her jaw “I’ll stay, I promise”
-Jesy-
Even as he says he will I hear the regret in his voice, it’s his favorite lie and I believe it every time, hoping this time he’ll hear how broken I am, take it seriously and just stay. I take for granted that for once he will understand that I can’t take this kind of relationship and as his lips connect with mine I know he’ll be gone in the morning. Even though I follow him to my room I feel my heart break just a little more.
“You’ll be the death of me Sidney” I mumble as he kisses my neck
“Not if you kill me first” he says back as he closes my door behind him
Notes
So if any of you haven't taken a look at my other story which is a Patrick Kane one shot please do so, if you have then you know what's been going on and now that I've gotten that out of my system I had a ton of idea's pouring out of my mind all at once. That would be great if I didn't have carpel tunnel so typing is actually semi difficult when your hand goes numb. Also I've had a couple of things that have come up like my great uncle dying and having to take an emergency trip out of state.I am very sorry I haven't posted but I'm sort of on a roll tonight and I still somehow have a faithful 8 subscribers so if I get 3 comments by tomorrow I will post another chapter tomorrow night! Also side note now that I've gotten up to not the present but at least this year more of the dramatic stuff that you all probably expected from the preview will start to happen :)
@Psquared524
At the moment no there will not be a sequel, I don't ever rule out the possibility of anything I write some day having one strictly because some day an idea may arise that would just work. But no at this moment, this is it, for a while I'm going to concentrate on one shots or short stories seeing as I generally tend to lose focus or direction on longer stories which is evident with this story.
5/10/14