Therapy is Good for the Soul

It had been a couple of hours since Tyler left his condo. As he walked through the city, he had flashbacks from the previous night allowing him to slowly piece his memories together. He became more horrified by the minute at his behavior. How could he have treated Bailey and his best friend that way? He let his drinking and jealousy ruin something so special and he hated himself for hurting Bailey. Tyler had called Bailey 3 times and left her several text messages without any response. He didn’t know what to do and was losing hope that he could repair the damage he’s done. He knew if he didn’t find a way to get Bailey to forgive him, she would be the one that got away. Tyler didn’t think he could survive that kind of heartbreak so he decided he’d take his chances and go to Bailey’s apartment. He was going to find a way to make her hear him out and give him another chance.

Tyler drove like a mad man to Bailey’s apartment. Another resident let Tyler inside without any questions. He ran up the three flights of stairs in no time and knocked on Bailey’s door.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” Emily asked as she opened the door and saw Tyler.

“I need to speak with Bailey and she isn’t answering my calls!”

“Well what do you expect after what you did last night. Take a hint; she doesn’t want to talk to you. Now go away and don’t come back!”

Tyler lodged his foot and used his hand to block the door from slamming shut in his face. “I’m not leaving until she hears me out! I know a screwed up and I need to apologize for being an asshole. Emily, PLEASE give me a chance to make things right!” Tyler pleaded with Emily; he was determined to get at least a shot at Bailey’s forgiveness.

“Fine, I’ll let you in, but if she doesn’t want to see you, promise me you’ll leave quietly and leave her alone.” Emily couldn’t say no when she saw see the sincerity in Tyler’s eyes and heard the desperation in his voice. She knew Bailey still had feelings for him and thought there was still hope they could work things out.

Emily escorted Tyler to Bailey’s room and gently knocked on her door.

“You don’t have to knock, Em.”

“Don’t be mad, but he insisted on speaking to you. Just say the word and I’ll toss him out.” Emily had great concern for her friend’s wellbeing.

“It’s ok” Bailey managed to say.

“Thanks,” Tyler said giving Emily an odd look. Bailey wasn’t sure who he was thanking, her for agreeing to see him or Emily for letting him in.

“Okie dokie, I’ll be in my room if you need me Bailey.” Emily stepped out and shut Bailey’s bedroom door.

“Why are you here Tyler?”

“What do you think I’m doing? I came to see you.” His gaze shot to the phone in her hand. “I called you at least 3 times and sent you texts. Didn’t you get them?”

“I…I...” A few lingering tears slipped from her lashes. She blinked them away and just stared at him.

“Don’t cry Bay” Tyler moved in with concern filling his big brown eyes. The compassion in his gaze sent a wave of emotion through Bailey.

“Please don’t call me that!” Bailey’s request not to use that term of affection anymore made Tyler’s stomach turn.

“Bailey, I’m so sorry! I was an idiot last night. I jumped to conclusions and I was so wrong! Please forgive me!!!”

“Tyler, its not that easy. You don’t trust me.”

“That’s not true! I let my jealousy and insecurities get the best of me last night. I was stupid and wasn’t thinking clearly. I know you would never hurt me like that.”

“That may be true, but Tyler I’m not sure I can trust you anymore. The truth is we want two different things and I simply can’t give you what you want.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tyler, the minute I turned you down on the dance floor you were pissed. I didn’t want our first real kiss to be a sloppy drunken one. I have more respect for you as well as myself than to hook-up on a dance floor. As soon as I didn’t give you what you wanted, you found someone who would. You didn’t even try to hide it.”

Tyler took a deep breath; he knew he would have to explain his actions with Mandy. “Bailey, I can’t believe I acted like that. I know it isn’t an excuse, but I was really drunk and hurt. I thought you rejected me because you wanted to be with Freddy. I wasn’t thinking clearly when Mandy approached me. I wanted to make you jealous and yes at the time I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to feel the same pain I felt when I saw you with Freddy.”

“You wanted to hurt me?” Bailey questioned Tyler as more tears filled her eyes.

Even more guilt filled his eyes. “I regret that most of all. I wasn’t in my right mind; it’s killing me that I hurt you! You..” Tyler was interrupted when Bailey’s phone rang.

“I have to take this.”

Tyler didn’t pay attention to Bailey’s conversation. He was too busy running through all the words he wanted, no needed to say. He noticed she grabbed her computer out of the corner of his eye, so he figured it was probably a work related call. He waited anxiously for her to get off the phone so they could finish their conversation. As soon as she hung up he jumped in where he left off.

“You have to believe me when I say I didn’t have sex with Mandy. Yes I made out with her on the dance floor, but that’s all that happened. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. Bailey, please say you believe me!”

Tyler watched as Bailey got out of her bed and started to frantically move around her room. He waited for a response, but she didn’t say a word.

“Bailey, I swear to God I didn’t sleep with her! You have to believe me! Call Freddy or Marchy, they can tell you.” Tyler went over to Bailey who was now getting a pair of jeans out of her closet. “Bailey, please say something!”

Tears were now streaming steadily down her cheeks. She seemed completely oblivious to Tyler as she walked out of her closet. It was as though she had decided to shut him out completely.

Tyler panicked and grabbed her arm. “DAMN IT, LOOK AT ME BAILEY!”

Bailey was briefly pulled out of her trance. She glanced at Tyler and shrugged her arm free. Bailey pushed him out of the way to get to her dresser drawers to get a long sleeve shirt. Tyler watched her carefully and when she pulled her pajama top over her head to change into the new shirt, he knew something was terribly wrong. Bailey was way too shy to change in front of him. He was very concerned and carefully approached her before putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Bailey, please talk to me. Whatever you are feeling, tell me. Please don’t shut me out! Bailey, please tell me what I need to do for your forgiveness!!!”

“Not everything is about you! I can’t do this right now! I…..I…I have to get to the hospital.” Bailey broke down and started to sob uncontrollably.

Tyler moved in before Bailey could stop him and wrapped his arms around her. His hands moved tenderly against her back. His touch felt good, normal even. Her cheek rested against his chest as she listened to the steady pounding of his heart. She closed her eyes and inhaled his familiar scent. Bailey gave in for a moment, but then pushed him away.

“I have to go.”

“Bailey, please tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s Alexis, that was her dad on the phone. She had several massive seizures and is in the hospital. Tyler, they don’t know if she’s going to make it.”

Tyler reached out and pulled Bailey back into his arms. She returned his embrace. The uncertainty about her feelings for Tyler combined with her fear for Alexis’ life had Bailey’s emotions zipping all over the place.

“I’m so sorry Bailey. I know how much she means to you. Please let me take you to the hospital.”

“You don’t mind? I can take the T.”

Tyler released his embrace and reached out for Bailey’s hand and they headed to his car. Bailey was silent the entire ride over to the hospital. She sat as far over to the door as she could get and closed her eyes. Bailey had Tyler park in the employee lot since she had her ID badge with her. He trailed behind her to the PICU. Bailey stopped right outside the entrance.

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

Tyler took Bailey’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Yes you can. I’m right here if you need me.”

Bailey took a deep breath and swiped her ID to allow them to enter the unit. Bailey saw some of her coworkers standing at the nurses’ station and headed towards them.

“How is she?”

“They finally got her stabilized so they took her to do a PET scan. We probably won’t know much for another couple of hours.” Cindy, Alexis’ physical therapist said.

“Did her dad go with her?”

“No, he’s in her room filling out paperwork.”

“Thanks, I’ll go let him know I’m here.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Tyler asked Bailey.

“No thank you. I’ll be ok.” Bailey replied as she headed to Alexis’ room. “Mr. Marino, I just wanted to let you know I’m here.” Bailey said as she entered the room.

Alexis’ dad immediately stood up and pulled Bailey into a hug. “Thank you for coming. It means a lot to me and Alexis.”

Alexis’ dad told Bailey that Alexis just couldn’t kick the illness she had for the past week. She’d been fatigued and just couldn’t stay awake to watch the Bruins game last night so he recorded it for her. He thought it would cheer her up to watch her favorite team. They were watching the game and she got super excited when Tyler scored the game-winning goal. The next thing he knew, Alexis’s eyes rolled in the back of her head and she started convulsing. One minute she was squealing with joy and seconds later she was having her first seizure in a year and a half. The seizure lasted 10 minutes even though he gave her Diastat. She had another one on the ambulance ride to the hospital and even more once she arrived in the Emergency room. The doctor’s think her shunt may be malfunctioning, but they think there is something else so they are running tests including the PET scan right now. Mr. Marino told Bailey he hasn’t been this scared since her accident two years ago. Alexis is his life and is all he has left; he can’t lose her now.

Bailey listened to Mr. Marino recount the day’s events and could hear the fear in his voice. “Alexis is a fighter, she gets that from you.” She said trying to reassure him. “Is there anything I can do for you right now?”

“Would you say a prayer with me?”

“Of course.” Bailey took Mr. Marino’s hand and they prayed for Alexis. Bailey barely held herself together during the prayer, and she could tell it was the same for Alexis’ dad. Bailey wasn’t sure what to say and started to feel a bit overwhelmed. She wanted to be strong for Mr. Marino and in order to do that she needed to get some fresh air. “Can I get you something to eat or drink?” She was hoping he would say yes.

“I could use a cup of coffee if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not, how would you like it?”

“Black is fine.”

“Ok, I’ll head downstairs to get it for you.”

“Thank you.”

As Bailey walked out of the room tears trickled down her cheeks. Tyler stood up from the bench across from the nurses’ station and headed towards Bailey as soon as he saw her walk out. Bailey was shocked to see he was still there.

“You’re still here?”

“I told you I would be. How’s Mr. Marino holding up?”

“As good as can be expected I guess.”

“And you?” Tyler asked as he used his thumb to wipe away a tear from her face.

“Fine” She lied. “I need to go get Mr. Marino some coffee.”

“I can get it, if you’d like to stay here.”

“Thanks, but I really need some fresh air. You can come with me, though.” Bailey was relieved knowing Tyler would join her; she was afraid she wouldn’t come back if he didn’t.

Tyler and Bailey went downstairs to the Mini Dunkin Donuts in the hospital. There was a line of 5 people when they arrived. Tyler told Bailey he’d wait in line so she could go outside for some air. Bailey tried to give Tyler her debt card, but he refused it and said he had it covered. She thanked him and headed outside.

Tyler joined Bailey outside approximately 10 minutes later. He wrapped his jacket around her shoulders when he saw her shivering.

“Won’t you be cold?”

“Canadian remember” Tyler said with a smile and a wink.

“Thanks.” Bailey gave Tyler a half smile as she put her arms in the sleeves of the jacket. She didn’t even bother to push the sleeves up to free her hands as she headed towards a bench that just became open. Tyler joined her.

“You know Alexis was the first patient I ever evaluated and treated on my own. She was in a terrible car accident that killed her mother and older brother. It’s a miracle that she survived. She fought hard to overcome so many obstacles. I’ve never seen a child so determined to prove anyone who tells her she won’t be able to do something wrong. She has such an amazing spirit! I’ve always admired the faith she and her dad have. Everything seemed to be falling into place for them these past couple of months and now… now this. Tyler, I’ve never lost a patient before. I’ve always known it’s a possibility working here. I think that’s why I split my time between inpatient and outpatient thinking it will decrease the odds of it happening.” Bailey paused for a moment, “I’m scared! What if she doesn’t make it? I don’t think I can handle it!”

Tyler immediately put his arm around Bailey and let her cry into his chest. “You can’t think like that, Bailey. You said it yourself Alexis is special; she’s a fighter! Don’t count her out of this fight yet. She needs us to pray for her and have hope.”

Although Bailey didn’t reply to Tyler, she did lean in closer to him and gave him a hug. His words had helped. They stayed there for a few more minutes, before a Dunkin Donuts employee came out to tell Tyler his order was ready. Tyler not only bought Mr. Marino a coffee, but he bought several boxes of joe, juice, munchkins, muffins, and bagels for the families and staff in the PICU. He also bought Bailey a hot chocolate. Bailey and Tyler delivered the treats to the nursing station before heading into Alexis’ room. Mr. Marino couldn’t believe that Tyler was there and thanked him for the coffee. He told Tyler how grateful he was to him for being there to not only support his daughter but also Bailey who he considered to be family.

A few minute later Alexis’ neurologist came in to speak with Mr. Marino. He gave the doctor permission to speak in front of Bailey, Tyler, and Alexis’ other therapists. The doctor told them that Alexis coded while they were running the tests, but they were able to restart her heart. He said she is now on a ventilator to help her breathe. Alexis needs surgery to repair her shunt and remove some scar tissue that has that has grown around the shunt and causing a block. The doctor said it would be too much for Alexis to do the surgery tonight, so he would like to do it in the morning if she remains stable. The doctor reviewed possible complications and the risks of the surgery; Mr. Marino didn’t hesitate to give permission for the surgery.

Alexis was brought to her room a few minutes after the doctor left. Everyone gathered around her, held hands and said a prayer for her to stay strong and make a full recovery. Alexis’ physical and speech therapists said a few words to Alexis and Mr. Marino before they headed out for the night. Just as Bailey was about to say her goodbyes, the social worker came in and said she needed to talk to Mr. Marino. He asked Bailey and Tyler if they would stay with Alexis so he could go talk to the social worker. He didn’t know what she wanted to discuss and didn’t want to take any chances of Alexis hearing anything negative.

Mr. Marino looked as white as a sheet when he returned to the room. He immediately went to Alexis’ side, grabbed her hand and completely lost it breaking down into tears. Tyler and Bailey were stunned, not sure if he finally allowed himself to release all of the emotions that had been building today or if something happened.

“Mr. Marino, it will be ok. Alexis is strong, she’ll pull through the surgery.” Bailey said trying to reassure Alexis’ dad as well as herself.

“No, No you don’t understand. She’s not going to have the surgery.”

“What do you mean she’s not going to have the surgery?” Bailey was confused and starting to panic.

“The social worker just told me that insurance denied coverage for the surgery. There’s no way I can pay for it without insurance help. I can’t help my daughter.”

“I don’t understand, how can they deny the surgery? It will save her life! We’ll appeal! They have to change their minds!”

“She said an appeal will take too long and it will be too late. She told me I need to prepare for the worst and should call my priest. After everything we’ve been through, I can’t believe this is the end. I don’t know what I’ll do without her. She’s my life, my everything.” Mr. Marino dropped his head in his hands due to the overwhelming anguish he was experiencing.

“NO! That can’t be right; you must have misunderstood. How could anyone deny a child? If insurance won’t pay than we have to find another way. The hospital has a foundation, there has to be some type of charitable fund set up for things like this. I’ll go talk to the social worker. She has to have that surgery!” Bailey tried to blink away the emotions that now blurred her vision.

Tyler placed his hand over Bailey’s and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You stay here. I’ll go find the social worker and see what she can do. Remember what I told you about hope. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He leaned in gently kissed the top of her head before releasing her hand and left the room.

Approximately thirty minutes later, Tyler returned to find Bailey and Mr. Marino sitting on each side of Alexis with looks of despair across their faces.

“The social worker is looking into a few options. She thinks she found one that looks really viable, but she won’t know for sure until the morning during business hours. She assured me, she will make this a priority first thing in the morning.”

Mr. Marino lifted his head off Alexis’ bed to thank Tyler. “Bailey, why don’t you let Tyler take you home since we won’t know anything ‘til morning.”

“Promise me you’ll call me if there’s any change.”

“I promise. Now, please go and get some rest.”

Bailey thought Mr. Marino probably wanted some alone time with his daughter. She was exhausted between all the drama with Tyler last night and everything going on with Alexis today. Although she doubted she’d be able to sleep, Bailey knew tomorrow would be another long day and she needed to try. She stood up to say goodnight to Alexis.

Tyler put his hands on Bailey’s shoulders as she tried to get out all the words she wanted to say to Alexis. Tyler took over, when he sensed Bailey was about to lose it.

“Hey sleeping beauty, how’s my special girl? You know I have some tickets to a Bruins game with your name on it. After the game, I’ll take you on a personal tour of the locker room and introduce you to any of the guys you want to meet.” Tyler suddenly felt Alexis attempt to squeeze his hand.

“I knew you’d like that. Tell you what; we can even go out on a special date after the game for some ice cream. Does that sound good?” She squeezed his hand again.

“Great, it’s a date! Now all you have to do is keep fighting and when you’re ready, I’ll make it happen. It’s been a long day, so I’m going to let you get some rest now. I promise I’ll be back.” Tyler leaned down and kissed Alexis on the cheek and gave her hand a gentle squeeze to which she again responded.

When Tyler let go and looked up he saw that both Mr. Marino and Bailey were in tears. They were both overcome with emotion, having witnessed Alexis’ response to Tyler. Tyler and Alexis had just provided them with the hope they needed.

Tyler placed his hand on the small of Bailey’s back an escorted her to his car after they said goodbye to Mr. Marino. Once in the car, Bailey pulled her knees to her chest and stared blankly out the window. Tyler sent a few quick texts before he pulled out of the garage. The ride to her apartment was eerily silent. Tyler’s heart ached for Bailey; all he wanted to do was comfort her.

Once they reached the apartment, he helped Bailey out of the car and insisted on walking her to her door. Emily threw the door open and pulled Bailey into a hug as soon as she heard them approaching in the hallway. While Tyler waited in the doorway Freddy arrived.

“Special delivery for Bailey here.” Freddy said.

Bailey turned to Freddy and for the first time since yesterday had a genuine smile on her face at the site of Marshall in his arms. She immediately went over and started playing with his soft, floppy ears. Marshall adored the attention from Bailey and started to lick her hands, which resulted in another smile from Bailey.

Bailey hugged Freddy. “Thank you for bringing him. Seeing this sweet face is what I really needed.”

“Actually, it was Tyler’s idea. He sent me a text asking me to bring him over for the night.”

Bailey shifted her gaze from Marshall up to Tyler’s face. “Thank you.”

“Marshall’s specialty is making people happy and as you know he’s also a great cuddle buddy. Thought you might want some company tonight and Marshall fit the bill. Freddy or I can come get him tomorrow.”

“That’s very sweet of you, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“My job is done here, so I’m going to head out. ” Freddy handed Marshall to Bailey. As he hugged her goodnight he whispered in her ear. “I’m always here for you if you want to talk. Don’t hesitate to call.”

Emily then excused herself to her bedroom to give Bailey and Tyler some alone time.

Bailey and Tyler just stood there staring at each other for a few minutes, neither knowing what to say. Tyler stepped forward closing the distance between them.

“Are we ok?”

Bailey paused for a moment. “Tyler, I really appreciate everything you did today. It means more than you will ever know. I don’t think I could have made it through the day if you hadn’t been there. But, that doesn’t change things. I told you earlier, we want 2 different things.”

“I don’t think that’s true but I don’t want to argue with you. You’ve been through too much today. I just have to find a way to prove it to you and I will! Bailey, I know I was an idiot and broke your trust. Will you please let me try to rebuild your faith in me?”

“How?”

“I want to be a part of your life in any way you’ll let me. If that means we can only be friends right now, then I’ll take it.”

“I’m not sure it will work, but I’ll try.”

“Thank you. I promise you won’t regret this.” Tyler bent down and gently kissed her right temple. “It’s been a long couple of days. I’m going to head out so you can get some rest. Call me if you need me. I’ll check in on you tomorrow. Oh, and Bailey I have a really good feeling everything is going to work out and Alexis will have that surgery tomorrow. She’s going to be ok.”

“I hope you’re right. Good Night.”

“I am, you’ll see. Good night.”

Bailey closed the door behind Tyler and took Marshall to her room. She changed into her pajamas and flopped onto her bed. She lay there for a few minutes aimlessly petting Marshall, before the tears once again flowed. She needed this release from the emotional roller coaster that’s been draining her the past two days. Bailey eventually cried herself to sleep.

Notes

Not sure how I feel about this chapter, but I had to stop messing with it.

Your feedback would be appreciated, especially for this one!