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Therapy

Caught

The atmosphere at the arena was contagious. The Philadelphia Flyers were in town, the Penguins biggest rivals, and the crowd was filled with a sense of anxiety and adrenaline, each breath inhaled sucking more of the energy into their lungs. I found myself falling into the mix of emotions alongside them, booing as soon as the first Flyer set foot onto the ice, and screaming with glee when Marc appeared for the Penguins, leading the team out onto the ice.

“I’m so glad you decided to come,” Vero yelled into my ear. “I can’t handle being at these games alone. If they lose, Marc is a complete wreck.”

“I didn’t really have a much of a choice,” I admitted, not taking my eyes off of the ice as the players skated around before lining up for the anthems, “But I’m glad I came, too.” I left out that before the game, I'd been so nervous that I hadn't even managed to eat anything, and the only thing in my system was a cup of coffee. My stomach growled on cue and I placed a hand over top of it, glancing up at Vero who raised an eyebrow, clearly having heard my stomach. "I was too nervous to eat," I told her, laughing lightly. "We'll have to grab some burgers during intermission or something."

She smiled, falling silent with the rest of the arena as the singer lifted the mic and began to sing the Star Spangled Banner. I glanced behind me, looking at the sea of black and gold jersey’s behind me. It used to be a more familiar sight for me. Now, I almost felt out of place. I still felt the distance between myself and the team out on the ice, the team full of former friends. Maybe Marc and Sidney could be counted as true friends now, but the rest of them were still unsure of who I was. At times, I was unsure as well.

“You have your thinking face,” Vero said to me as soon as we had sat down.

I smiled, glancing at her. “Yeah, sorry. It’s still weird to be here. I know I’ve already been to a couple of games since Evan’s passing, but-”

“Now that you’ve actually seen all of them again, you can’t ignore how much has changed?” She finished.

I sighed, tugging at the oversized Fleury jersey I had been handed when Vero picked me up. “Yeah.” I glanced up at the ice, noticing that the game had started. “It was so much easier to ignore how many things needed to be fixed when I kept to myself.”

“Yes, but you were also not showering and not leaving the house at that time,” Vero reminded, her eyes on the ice.

“No point in showering if I’m not leaving the house,” I muttered, ignoring the jab in the ribs she gave me.

By the time the first period had ended, Craig Adams and Kimmo Timmonen had fought, followed minutes later by Mike Rupp and Scott Hartnell pairing off. Mike Richards scored on the following four on four, causing the entire arena to groan with disappointment. The Pens had managed a two on one breakaway three minutes after the Flyers goal, but Geno fanned on his pass and it was easily picked up by Danny Brier, who moved away from Jordan Staal’s check, carried the puck all the way down the ice and easily shot it top shelf over Fleury’s blocker.

“Oh, it’s not going to be a good night,” Vero whined, her face falling to her hands.

I patted her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. “There’s still two periods left. The Pens can come back.”

“Yes, but look at the shots on net,” Vero said, pointing up.

I glanced, wincing a bit as I noted that the Pens were leading in shots, but still losing the game. Marc had allowed 2 goals on 10 shots, and the way he had slowly skated off of the ice showed how wrapped in disappointment he was.

Vero let out a long sigh, watching as all of the Penguins left the ice for the first intermission before turning to look at me. “I’m glad you came to the game.”

“I’m still trying to decide if I’m glad or not,” I admitted. “And it’s not because of the current score,” I added, smiling lightly.

Vero smirked at me. “It’s good you came. We’ve all missed you.”

I nodded, the two of us having to stand up and let a couple of fellow Pittsburgh fans though. “It’s just… how am I supposed to act now? Kris is all ‘Oh, Katy, I hate you, everything is your fault.’ Then he has a change of heart is and all, ‘Oh, just kidding, I’ve actually been in love with you since before you started dating Evan.’ What am I supposed to do now?”

Vero let out a laugh, clearly amused by my dilemma. “Kaitlin, Kristopher isn’t going to do anything. He just needs you back in his life. You keep forgetting that Kris has lost two close friends in the last couple of years. Don’t make him lose you, too.”

I sighed, rubbing my forehead. “I always forget about Luc. Not because he isn’t important, just because-”

“You never knew him. I know,” Vero comforted, patting my arm. “He never went to therapy for Luc, you know? So, when he lost Evan, too, it hit him twice as hard. He wasn’t finished dealing with the loss of one friend, and all of a sudden, the other one is gone, too.”

I felt sick suddenly, a whirlwind of guilt and sadness swirling inside of the pit of my stomach. Luc and I had never actually met, but he and Kris’ friendship had never been a secret. My friendship with Kris had already begun to tear at the seams, and when Evan called to tell me what had happened, I was unsure of how to act. Kris never returned my calls, and when I finally saw him again, almost two months later, he refused to discuss it. At the time, I assumed Kris could cope better than most. Now, I realized he had never dealt with it.

“Katy, are you okay?” Vero asked, looking concerned.

“How did I forget?” I asked.

“Katy, don’t do this. You lost your boyfriend. It’s understandable if other details slipped your mind.”

“But he lost both of his best friends,” I reminded her, suddenly close to tears. “Vero, how could I forget that? How did I not put the facts together? Of course he couldn’t function properly after Evan died. He literally lost everything.”

Vero was silent for a moment, placing a hand on top of mine in comfort. “He hasn’t lost everything,” she finally said, softly. “He still has you. Let him know that.”

-----------------------------------

The Penguins lost to the Flyers. It was the third loss in a row. Marc was pulled out of the net five minutes into the second period, after the Flyers made the score 4-0 on their first two shots of the period. Geno managed to answer back once, and three minutes into the third, Tyler Kennedy scored the second for the Pens, but it wasn’t enough.

Vero was muttering to herself in French, while the rest of the arena was drained of the adrenaline that it had been so full of before. I felt tired, the hope that I had been holding onto for the duration of the game now gone, and a headache from the guilt Vero’s reminder had hit me with drowning out everything else.

“Come on, we’re going to find my boyfriend and get him drunk,” Vero said, grabbing my arm and tugging me off to the side, where the guards helped us down into the tunnel area so we could find the team. “They have three days off now, and I can’t handle him after a loss to the Flyers,” she added. I only nodded, following behind her.

The first Penguin we spotted was Brooks Orpik, who was being interviewed by Dan Potash just outside of the Penguins dressing room. The look of frustration that was etched across his face was enough to make me want to turn and run before the rest of the team was before me. If Orpik was this visibly ticked, I could only imagine the velocity of anger raging inside Marc, Sidney and Kris, the three most emotional of the team. As if she could read my mind, Vero turned around and grabbed my hand, holding me next to her as we waited for the team to finish showering and changing so they could emerge from the room.

There was a sense of anxiety boiling inside of me. I was beginning to feel dizzy, and the headache I was fighting seemed to be gaining strength with each throb. “Vero,” I groaned, using my free hand to grab my head. “Vero, I think I’m going to be sick.”

She looked at me, clearly trying to read whether I was lying to escape, or genuinely sick. “What’s wrong?”

“My head,” I muttered, freeing my other hand from her so I could cradle my head in both hands. “I feel like my head is splitting in half.”

“Katy?”

I cracked an eye open to see Kris standing before me, his wet hair still dripping at the very ends, soaking the collar of his shirt. “What’s wrong, are you sick?”

“Kris, I’m so sorry,” I groaned, suddenly so dizzy that I was seeing doubles of him. “I’m so sorry that…”

Kris had reached out to try and steady me, saying something quickly to Vero in French. “Kaitlin, look at me. Come on, you’re okay, look at me.”

“Luc… I’m sorry that Luc,” I stopped, swallowing hard. “And then Evan… and I’m…”

And then it was black.

---------------------------------

When I awoke, I was in the medical room of the Pittsburgh Penguins, a man I had never seen before peering down at me. “Can you tell me your name?” He asked.

I licked my lips, my mouth feeling dry. “What happened?”

“Tell me your name, then we’ll answer some questions,” he said.

I sat up a bit, my head still hurting, but the pain not as immense. “Kaitlin Fraser.”

He nodded, moving away from me a bit. “Good. Kaitlin, you fainted in the hallway. Do you know why?”

I shook my head lightly, glancing around the room. “No. I just know I felt really sick suddenly. I got really hot, and my head hurt.”

“Your body had to shut down for a few minutes,” he said, handing me a bottle of water, which I eagerly chugged. “Your blood sugar levels were dangerously low. Have you been eating properly?”

I sighed, setting the now half bottle to rest on the table next to me. “I ate the most filling sandwich ever yesterday, and today…” I frowned, trying to remember what I had eaten. “I only had a cup of coffee. I meant to get something during the intermission, but the game was so intense...”

“You didn’t eat anything,” he repeated, frowning slightly. “I was informed that you’re back in therapy. Is there some emotional turmoil that may be affecting your appetite?”

I frowned. “I think I just forgot to eat, that’s all. I was in therapy for ten months before I started up again, and there was only a two month break in between. I’ve just been busy, that’s all.”

“Well, you need to eat. It’s clear that you’re not getting all of the nutrition your body needs, and if you continue to neglect it, your body will shut down. If your sugar levels drop enough, it will put you in a coma. This is a serious issue, Ms. Fraser.” He waved a finger at me. “Your friends are in the other room. I’m going to grab some pudding for you to eat before you leave, though. Stay here,” he instructed.

Kris, Vero and Marc rushed into the room as soon as they were allowed to, all three of them asking questions at the same time. I held a hand up to silence them all. “I’m fine. I just forgot to eat, and I fainted because my sugar levels were too low. But that doctor who never told me his name is getting me pudding.”

Marc laughed, sitting on the edge of the table I was on. “That’s Cory. He’s the head of our medical staff. As soon as you passed out, Vero ran to get him.”

“Why aren’t you eating?” Kris asked, looking at me with concern.

“I just forgot too, that’s all,” I answered, rubbing the back of my neck. “How long was I out?”

“Only about ten minutes,” Vero answered. “But don’t you scare us like that again, Katy. I was really worried.”

I smiled. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you guys out.”

“Did you actually forget to eat?” Kris asked quietly. “Or is there something you’re not telling us?”

I looked at him for a moment, biting my lip lightly. “I just forgot. I wouldn’t do something like this for attention, I promise.”

Marc cleared his throat. “Veronique and I are going to head out. I’d invite you, but I don’t think Katy should be out drinking.”

I let out a soft laugh. “Probably not the best idea, no.”

“I can drive her home,” Kris said, nodding to them.

“I’m not allowed to leave until I have my pudding,” I told him, causing all three of them to laugh. “No, seriously. I was told not to leave until he brought my pudding.”

“Then we’ll wait for your pudding.” Kris said. “But then I’m taking you home. You need to eat and sleep this off,” he said.

I nodded, peering around him as I noticed Cory appear once more, a tiny cup of vanilla pudding in his hand. “Thank you,” I said, taking it from him.

“What should she eat?” Kris asked. “Anything she shouldn’t have right now?”

“Her sugar levels are low,” Cory reminded him. “Maybe some ice cream, something that’s easy for her stomach to deal with, and try some peanut butter to get the protein levels up. Tomorrow, she has to keep on top of it more. Start the morning with some juice, toast with peanut butter again, maybe a cup of cream soup, any kind. Her body couldn’t handle something as filling as steak right now, but tomorrow it will need it. Eggs, meat, cheese, eat lots of that. Stay away from too much salt right now, for at least two days.” He looked over at me. “You gave them quite the scare there, Ms. Fraser.”

I smiled, my mouth full of pudding.

Kris let out a small laugh, grabbing a tissue from the box near him and handing it to me. “I’ll make sure she gets all of that,” he promised, handing the tissue to me. “You’ve got a little pudding.” He said, pointing to his chin.

Cory nodded, scribbling something down on a piece of paper. “Here’s the recommended servings for you. You’ll have to really watch what you eat for the next few days, but this isn’t a permanent diet.” He handed the paper to Kris. “You’re lucky he was here to catch you when you fainted. You could have smacked your head pretty hard, otherwise.”

I looked over at Kris who was turning red. “You caught me?”

He cleared his throat. “I couldn’t let you hurt yourself,” he explained, his voice soft.

“You should head home. You need to get some more food, and a good night’s rest,” Cory said, grabbing Kris’ shoulder. “Take care of her, buddy.”

Kris nodded, waiting for Cory to leave before looking at me. “Are you okay to walk on your own, or do you need help?”

“I’m sure I’m fine,” I said, tossing my now empty pudding cup into the small trash can and swinging my feet over the edge, standing up fully and nearly falling over. Kris immediately reached out to steady me, making me sigh. “Maybe I need a little help,” I admitted, feeling embarrassed.

Kris laughed, placing an arm around my waste so he support me. “That’s fine. I’m here to help,” he said, helping me out of the room.

Notes

The crazy thing about this chapter is that I wrote it 2 years ago, but just 2 weeks ago I caught a horrible flu and the only thing I managed to keep down was a cup of tea. I was literally fine one second, then got a splitting head ache, overheated, and fainted, exactly like I wrote the scene for Katy. It's ridiculous how your writing can sometimes play out in your own life.

Comments

I Love this story!

Psquared91 Psquared91
4/7/14
Amazing ending!
katiexlee katiexlee
1/5/13

AMAZING!

Savannah17 Savannah17
1/4/13
This was a great story!
Dallas. Dallas.
1/4/13
I loved this update!
katiexlee katiexlee
12/29/12