I groaned, my forehead resting against the kitchen table, my bare feet pressed against the linoleum floor as my one hand held a loose grip on the coffee cup resting on the table. “I barely even drank, why does my head hurt so much?” I moaned.

Sara let out a laugh from somewhere in front of me. “Well, let’s think about this one, Katy. You hadn’t touched alcohol in over a year, you barely ate anything yesterday and you downed your first drink within two minutes of getting it. That might be why your head is unimpressed with you.”

I sighed, lifting my head off of the table. “I did have fun, at least.”

“I’m glad,” she said, taking a bite of her bagel. “I’m not gonna lie, when I saw Kris and the guys there, I was worried he’d head over and make a scene.”

I took a sip of my coffee, shrugging my shoulders. “I’m still surprised he didn’t. Maybe him being in counselling is actually a good thing.” I joked, taking another sip of coffee.

Sara stood up from the table, carrying the last piece of bagel in her hand. “Maybe. Anyways, I better head off to work. You know, so I don’t lose my job.”

I nodded, saying bye to her before sighing, rubbing my forehead as I stood up and headed over to grab some Advil in an attempt to dull down this massive headache. My goal for the day was to find a real job. Although teaching piano did pay an absurd amount, I only taught twice a week, leaving far too much free time in the rest of the week. It had been Dr. Bailey who made the suggestion of setting at least one goal for myself each day. It had been hard at first, trying to find something to focus my mind on other than Evan’s death, but now it seemed as if I couldn’t make it through a day without picking something to do.

I tried my best to ignore the headache as I changed into some clothes, puling my wavy hair up into a ponytail before I put a bit of make-up on and headed over to print off my resumes. Glancing down at the copies once they were made, I was surprised to see that I hadn’t worked in a legitimate job in almost a year. My boss had made the suggestion of me taking some time off as soon as he heard the news about Evan. I was determined to come back to the job, but after three mental breakdowns, my parents suggested leaving the job and throwing myself into counselling. I knew that any interviewer would understand if I explained the situation, but I still felt as if I had spent the last year doing absolutely nothing. I sighed, setting the papers down so I could slip my feet into a pair of flats, before I snatched my purse from where it hung on the back of the door, and headed out, resumes in hand.

---------------------
My headache was still there, although not nearly as strong, when I was done handing out resumes. The rumbling of hunger in my stomach was probably not helping my desire to fight off the dull ache behind my eyes, so I pulled into the parking lot of a small sandwich shop and hopped out to eat something.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection as I pulled open the big glass door and frowned, seeing how many wisps of hair had escaped from my ponytail and were now floating around my face, dancing in the light breeze that was flowing through Pittsburgh. I tried to smooth down as many strands as I could before finally stepping into the small shop, inhaling the scent of freshly baked bread and sighing.

“Smells good, huh?”

I jumped, looking around for a moment before my eyes fell upon Travis, Evan's brother, causing a mix of excitement and sadness to wash over me as I took in his face, seeing how he looked so different, but still so much like I had remembered. He was sitting alone, prompting me to take the few steps towards his table and sit down across from him, smiling softly. “It does. I haven’t been in here for so long,” I admitted, my eyes moving past him and up to the menu board, staying there for a moment before I looked back at Travis.

He looked so much like Evan, a similarity I hadn’t noticed when I was around him more often. He had the same green eyes, with the flecks of gold in them that had driven me so crazy when I stared into them. His hair was a lighter shade of brown, but it had the same tousled effect that Evan’s had, the shaggy curls framing his face in such a familiar way.

“I come here once a week,” He said, shaking me from my thoughts. “I don’t really know why. I just woke up one morning, probably a month after the accident, and ended up here. I don’t remember leaving the house or anything. I just sort of woke up from a trance and was sitting here, with that damn beef sandwich staring back at me.”

I laughed, only then noticing the sandwich.

Evan and Kris had started this tradition of eating the same roast beef sandwich before every game Kris played. When they were younger, Kris’ mom would make them one before their tournaments as kids. Even after Kris was drafted and Evan wasn't eligible until the following year, they kept the tradition alive.

It was a disgusting sandwich, too. It was layered with so many slices of roast beef that you could barely fit the sandwich in your mouth. It was covered with melted mozzarella cheese, smothered in horseradish and gravy, so much that it dripped off of the sides. The whole thing was packed into two slices of toasted sour-dough bread, and served with a side of coleslaw that neither one of them either ate. Just the smell of the thing was enough to make me feel sick. If I ever came with the two of them to the shop, I had to sit on the other side of the table and breathe only through my mouth. It took months before I could even look at the thing without feeling sick. I had never managed to watch either one of them eat it. The sight of the goopy gravy and horseradish falling from the sandwich when they took a bite was just too much for me.

Looking down at it now, I didn’t feel any of that. It made me miss those days, if anything. The days when Evan would purposely leave gravy on his lips and kiss my cheek, no matter how hard I fought against him or told him I hated it. Kris and I got along back then, too. He would sit across from us and laugh while I tried to squirm out of Evan’s grip, licking his plate clean as he did so. It seems like it’s always the small things you end up missing when it’s all taken away.

“You come here alone?” I asked, hearing the sound of the bell above the door jingle, signalling another customer.

Travis’s eyes flickered from my face to the door, then back to me. “Not exactly.”

I didn’t even have to turn around, closing my eyes so I could let out another sigh before I opened them again. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

Travis let out a small laugh, nodding his head.

I turned in my seat to face Kris, almost laughing at the shock on his face, so intense that it seemed to drain all the colour from his skin. “I’m leaving, don’t worry,” I said, standing up from the seat. “It was nice to see you, Travis.”

“Wait,” Kris said, stepping in front of me so that I was forced to stop. “You shouldn’t have to leave just because I am here.”

I eyed him for a moment before I gave my head a shake. “What is your game, Kris? One day you’re telling me that I’m ruining your life and everything is my fault, and then you’re apologizing to me, and now you want me to stay? What do you want?”

He didn’t respond for a second, chewing on his lip as he seemed to scan over my face. “I have a lot of issues, Katy. I have a lot to sort through, and that’s why my agent suggested counselling to me. I know that this is only a small step, but I’m trying.”

I was still studying his face, looking for the flashes of rage that had appeared before, waiting for the mask to fall and the bitter man he had become to show through. “What are you trying to do? I don’t understand.”

“I am trying to fix things. Everything,” he said. “I know that we weren’t best friends, but we were friends. And we’re both hurting from this loss. I just…” he paused, letting out a loud sigh as he reached up to take his hat off and scratch his head. “I can’t hate you anymore. I just can’t.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, that’s so sweet of you. You know what-”

“Katy,” Travis said, interrupting me and causing me to turn around and face him. “Give him a chance.”

I stared at Travis for a moment, caught between feeling infuriated that he would even say that, and feeling embarrassed that he had to suggest it at the same time. I turned back to Kris, looking up at him and noticing the sadness flashing in his eyes in such a way that it seemed to dull out the life in him. It sent a pang through me that caught me by surprise, the realization that he was trying to fix things, to get rid of the emotions that had clearly haunted the inside of his mind since Evan’s passing.

“I’ll buy,” Kris said quietly, a tiny smile tugging up at one corner of his mouth. “You want your usual?”

It was clear that I had no real say in this situation, and with a slight hesitation I nodded, returning to my seat and ignoring the triumphant smirk on Travis’s face.