And Heaven Too
Chapter Four
Dell is a nervous wreck as she waits for Charlie to pick up. She paces and putters and straightens things on her kitchen counter. When a voice does come over the line, she chokes out, “Oh holy fuck. I think I just turned down a night of really great sex with Mike Green.” She takes a deep breath. Saying it has absolutely not made her feel better.
A gruff harrumph sounds on the other line and she hears Harry call out, “Charlie, Dell is having a crisis. I think she’s gone crazy.” Dell drops her head to the counter. Of course Charlie’s husband would pick up.
“You’re going crazy?” Charlie must have been right by Harry because she’s in her ear in seconds and her voice is instantly soothing.
Dell doesn’t want to cry and have a mental break-down, but really, this is all way too much for her fragile mind. “I met a guy today. Mike Green. Maybe you’ve heard of him.”
Charlie’s gasp and subsequent squeal makes Dell want to puke. “Holy fuck! No way! Was he totally hot? Did you try to get into his pants?”
“No,” Dell groans. “I think he tried to get into mine.” Charlie hollers even loader, just nonsense words about the second coming of Christ. “I said no.” This shuts her friend up immediately and Dell has to ask if she’s still there before she gets a reaction.
“Are you telling me that you met Mike Green today, he offered you to take you back to his, and you said no!? The fuck is wrong with you?!”
“Well, it wasn’t like that exactly . . . “ and she spills everything to her friend. Running into him in the lobby, taking him on a tour, right up to the point where she started talking about hockey and gaming and he’d looked like he was undressing her with his eyes right there.
“There was something about me playing NHL13. I dunno. He almost spit a whole cup of coffee at me. And then it was like his whole demeanor changed and I was suddenly super hot.”
“Dell, you are super hot.”
“For a pasty shovel bum, yeah. But he’s Mike Green, dude. There’s only one thing a hockey player would want from a book worm like me: to rock my world so I’ll make him feel like a fucking superhero.”
Charlie scoffs at her. She can hear the TV on in the background, Harry watching football probably. She should have just gone over to their place. She could have drown herself in beer and her new football passion, forgetting all about hockey and hockey players and fuck!
She thought he might really like her as a person.
“Did he ever ask you to fuck? Or treat you like he just wanted to fuck? You said he was really cool, not smarmy. Remember, you used those exact words.”
Dell thinks. And thinks. And decides that no, he really wasn’t ever smarmy. “No, but still. Hockey player. Shovel bum. Seriously.” She’s waving her hands around as though it’ll make her point any better, even if there’s no way Charlie can see it.
“You’re an idiot and I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit.” Charlie always has to be sensible. But it had seemed so glaringly obvious when he’d- in the reception area- he’d almost kissed her!
A little voice at the back of her heads whispers, and would that really have been so bad? No. No it wouldn’t have. “I’m an idiot.”
“Did you at least give him your number? Get his?”
“Yeah. I told him to call the next time he’s at one of the museums and I’d give him a tour.”
“The level of lame that you possess is sometimes amazing my friend.” Charlie’s voice softens and Dell can hear her moving farther into the apartment by the way the football game goes suddenly silent. “I think you’re just nervous and scared. I know it’s been hard getting over Josh-“
Dell squeezes her eyes shut and snaps out, “Do NOT talk about Mr. Fuck Face. Please. This has nothing to do with that piece of shit.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say buddy. Look, you’re scared. I get it. Josh fucked you up good but it’s been two years. Two years, Adlai, and thousands of miles ago. You need to move on. And ya know what, if Mike Green is the guy for that . . . fuck yeah. I suggest you sleep on it and send him a text in the morning. Perhaps apologizing for jumping to conclusions and making assumptions which you know fucking well not to do. You’re an anthropologist, Dell. Act like it.”
And with that, Charlie hangs up on her and Dell throws her phone down on her counter. Yeah. Yeah, she knows better. She’s the worse anthropologist ever.
In the morning it feels like the sleep helped and perhaps Charlie might not have been stupidly wrong with her advice. She’s at the AmHis by 8, working from her office and trying to ignore her co-workers. She should text him. She will text him, after lunch. When she has some time to think about it.
She’ll apologize and then ask him out and-
“Oh my gawd Dell. How the fuck did you meet Mike Green? Is he coming back? When will he be here?” Dell didn’t realize it was so late but Cecilia is in the building, signaling the entrance of the afternoon crew. Dell buries her head in her arms and rolls it back and forth on her desk. Cecilia is practically vibrating at her shoulder. “Dell! Dell, tell me-“
“I met him yesterday, okay? He was lost and I helped him out and then I offered coffee. And we came here. And I’m sure you know exactly what we talked about. You were listening in your office the whole time.” Dell lifts her head up and checks the clock. 12:37.
Cecilia doesn’t even deny the eavesdropping, the little sneak. “He is so dreamy. I have, like, wet dreams nightly about him. This lockout is killing me.” Dell really doesn’t need to know this about her co-worker. She absolutely doesn’t want to know this.
“Are you gonna see him again?” Cecilia looks her up and down, expectantly.
Dell leans back in her chair. Cecilia is just digging for dirt. She has no idea what happened, the complications in Dell’s life. She opens her mouth to blow off the question when a voice sounds over her shoulder, “I hope so. Or else this is about to be really awkward.”
From over her shoulder, Dell looks up to see Mike, leaning casually against her cubicle. Her heart stops beating as she takes him in. He’s got a cup of coffee in his hand which he holds out to her. Dell’s eyes are wide and she takes the cup. “Mike! Hi!” She doesn’t do anything silly like jump up. Cecilia does that for her instead.
“Oh gawd I’m so embarrassed. Hi, welcome back!” Cecilia is fluttering around. Dell thinks she’s trying to find her phone, probably to get a picture.
Dell stands and nudges Cecilia out of the way. Mike looks amazing. And his hair is stupidly, deliciously long. She can’t believe she didn’t notice yesterday but she thinks that with his pub cap on the whole time she’d have never even imagined. She manages to ask, “How did you get back here?” between noting his hair and that his black sweater hugs his torso tight. She’s gonna need CPR. How could she be so fucking stupid as to turn down dinner and more with this guy?
Because you’ll end up liking him a little voice in the back of her head whispers. She tells that voice to shut the fuck up because it doesn’t know what it’s talking about.
“Mike Too ran into me while I was talking to security. Got me my own visitor’s badge!” He flips the plastic ID card out from his chest proudly. “I’m a regular now!”
That sends her into laughs because really, no man should be so simultaneously panty-dropping attractive yet so boyishly sincere at the same time. No way. Too many ovary casualties. “Mike Too also said it was time for you to get lunch. Can I take you out?” He is so fucking hopeful. Idiot repeats in her head until Cecilia elbows her in the side.
“Of course she’ll go with you! I’m here now; she’s off the clock for at least an hour.” Dell turns to glare at her co-worker because really, she’d planned to eat at her desk, but then Mike gives them a real, huge, and beautiful grin.
Dell has lost. She’s just lost all will to possibly care about being one more notch on this guy’s bed post. She doesn’t judge people for sleeping around but she likes her sexual relationships to be meaningful. This time, though, she’ll make an exception. If Mike Green wants to fuck her, then she’ll be fine with it. Really, she’ll take one for the team.
This thought sends her skittering into giggles again and the way his eyes light up at the sound makes her laugh even more. He either thinks she’s crazy or insane.
He gets her out of the office with minimal fuss and quick waves to her co-workers. He seems to have remembered all of their names, and she gives him props for that. They chat lightly until he escorts her down to the food court and offers to buy her a chicken salad sandwich. She lets him, watching his easy interaction with the cashier.
He catches her watching him and rather than asking her what’s up he grabs her hand and they head out to the Mall. It might be December but it’s a balmy 50 degrees outside. In their coats they are more than prepared for the weather and he sits them down on a bench looking out at the Washington Memorial.
She lets him get a few bites in before asking, “Why did you come back? I thought you were gonna text me.”
“Surprise is a fine art form and is best practiced rather than contemplated.”
Dell quirks an eyebrow. “Sun Tzu?”
Mike gives her another blinding smiling that makes her heart skip a beat. “Nope. Mike Green.” He should be locked up for looking so criminally good. “You’re dressed like a normal person today. What are you working on?”
She laughs and glances down. Yeah, she’s wearing standard dress clothes. “Data entry. I’m working on some GIS for a site in South Carolina. We finished up the sherd analysis last week so now comes the exciting part of laying out the map.”
There’s a long moment where Mike just watches her. “You made half that stuff up, didn’t you? What do you even do as an archaeologist?”
“All true, I swear. GIS is a mapping software that lets us look at a site on a local and regional level. Sherds are pieces of pottery we find. Fancy name for broken clay bowls. And we dig this shit up with trowels, haul it all back to a lab, and look at it for evidence of use. It is super fascinating and I love my work.”
Mike is laughing between bites at her explanation. He takes a big drink of his water before he says, “So no whips or fedoras?” He looks sort of disappointed.
“No. No whips and fedoras. Although, I did grow up on a farm and I do know how to shoot a variety of firearms.”
He holds up his hands. “Don’t shoot me.”
“Never. You are far too handsome to shoot.” She sounds joking when she says it, like she’d mean to but when she catches his eye between the laughing she realizes he’s gone strangely serious. “What? It was a joke.”
Mike looks down at his lap, holding on the remains of his sandwich. “Do you really think I’m handsome?” She would have never expected this sort of insecurity, not from him. Hello, NHL superstar.
“Yeah, of course.”
He looks up then, the full force of those brown eyes slipping into her soul. “Then why’d you turn me down last night?” Ugh, right in the feelings.
“Um . . . “ How does she explain to the ridiculously hot guy who’s leaning close and flirting with her that she's afraid he’s have his merry way with her and then turn her out on the street? Incredibly attractive. He was biting his lip now. “I-“ His eye brows raised, waiting for her answer. She took a deep breath and went for it. “Iwasafraidyoujustwantedgetintomypants.” She slurs all the words and tops it off with a lopsided, awkward grin.
Mike leaned back and blinked as he processed what she said. “Well . . . “ he draws it out, tasting every letter. She watches his lips. “That has certainly crossed my mind but I really just wanted to take you out to eat. I think you’re interesting. Beautiful, too. Certainly not someone I would mind hanging out with for a few hours for dinner.”
She really wasn’t expecting an answer. He’d called her interesting and beautiful. Her heart melts and just like that: her whole sexual conquest plan falls apart at the seams. So he did really like her? And, well, she clearly liked him. “Oh. Well. That was an unfortunate oversight on my part. I’m sorry. I kinda just assumed, since you’re-“ She tries to make her point with a ridiculous flapping of her hands that is ultimately unsuccessful.
“I’m what?” When he furrows his brows like that Dell just wants to brush away the worry lines. She doesn’t. That would be rude.
“You know, dude. You’re you. Like, big time superstar. I figured you were probably just bored with the lock out and on the hunt.” She surprises herself, really, by giving into stereotypes. Charlie was so right and she is such an ass.
Mike’s forehead soothes and he leans back in. “Dell, if I want to get laid, I hang out in a bar with some drunken girls, not that it happens often. Or at all lately. But the point is I don’t spend two hours wandering around exhibits that I don’t really care about so that I can maybe ask someone out for coffee.”
Despite her best efforts at being an adult, aloof Anthropologist through all of this Dell turns tomato red and looks away. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Perhaps after an eternity, or only the few seconds it takes her face to return to normal color, Mike puts one hand to hers. Her eyes snap down as he slides it underneath, bringing their palms together. She can’t breathe; he’s sending an electric current of adrenalin coursing through her veins with this one touch. He says her name softly and she looks up at him. Fuck, his hair is so long. It falls in his eyes so that he’s looking at her from beneath a brush of black. “Do you wanna get dinner with me tonight?” He bites his bottom lip, a little grin tugging up the corners of his mouth. Mother of God.
She nods, dumbly, because when Mike Green gives a girl a smile that sweet yet so full of promise she has no defense.
A gruff harrumph sounds on the other line and she hears Harry call out, “Charlie, Dell is having a crisis. I think she’s gone crazy.” Dell drops her head to the counter. Of course Charlie’s husband would pick up.
“You’re going crazy?” Charlie must have been right by Harry because she’s in her ear in seconds and her voice is instantly soothing.
Dell doesn’t want to cry and have a mental break-down, but really, this is all way too much for her fragile mind. “I met a guy today. Mike Green. Maybe you’ve heard of him.”
Charlie’s gasp and subsequent squeal makes Dell want to puke. “Holy fuck! No way! Was he totally hot? Did you try to get into his pants?”
“No,” Dell groans. “I think he tried to get into mine.” Charlie hollers even loader, just nonsense words about the second coming of Christ. “I said no.” This shuts her friend up immediately and Dell has to ask if she’s still there before she gets a reaction.
“Are you telling me that you met Mike Green today, he offered you to take you back to his, and you said no!? The fuck is wrong with you?!”
“Well, it wasn’t like that exactly . . . “ and she spills everything to her friend. Running into him in the lobby, taking him on a tour, right up to the point where she started talking about hockey and gaming and he’d looked like he was undressing her with his eyes right there.
“There was something about me playing NHL13. I dunno. He almost spit a whole cup of coffee at me. And then it was like his whole demeanor changed and I was suddenly super hot.”
“Dell, you are super hot.”
“For a pasty shovel bum, yeah. But he’s Mike Green, dude. There’s only one thing a hockey player would want from a book worm like me: to rock my world so I’ll make him feel like a fucking superhero.”
Charlie scoffs at her. She can hear the TV on in the background, Harry watching football probably. She should have just gone over to their place. She could have drown herself in beer and her new football passion, forgetting all about hockey and hockey players and fuck!
She thought he might really like her as a person.
“Did he ever ask you to fuck? Or treat you like he just wanted to fuck? You said he was really cool, not smarmy. Remember, you used those exact words.”
Dell thinks. And thinks. And decides that no, he really wasn’t ever smarmy. “No, but still. Hockey player. Shovel bum. Seriously.” She’s waving her hands around as though it’ll make her point any better, even if there’s no way Charlie can see it.
“You’re an idiot and I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit.” Charlie always has to be sensible. But it had seemed so glaringly obvious when he’d- in the reception area- he’d almost kissed her!
A little voice at the back of her heads whispers, and would that really have been so bad? No. No it wouldn’t have. “I’m an idiot.”
“Did you at least give him your number? Get his?”
“Yeah. I told him to call the next time he’s at one of the museums and I’d give him a tour.”
“The level of lame that you possess is sometimes amazing my friend.” Charlie’s voice softens and Dell can hear her moving farther into the apartment by the way the football game goes suddenly silent. “I think you’re just nervous and scared. I know it’s been hard getting over Josh-“
Dell squeezes her eyes shut and snaps out, “Do NOT talk about Mr. Fuck Face. Please. This has nothing to do with that piece of shit.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say buddy. Look, you’re scared. I get it. Josh fucked you up good but it’s been two years. Two years, Adlai, and thousands of miles ago. You need to move on. And ya know what, if Mike Green is the guy for that . . . fuck yeah. I suggest you sleep on it and send him a text in the morning. Perhaps apologizing for jumping to conclusions and making assumptions which you know fucking well not to do. You’re an anthropologist, Dell. Act like it.”
And with that, Charlie hangs up on her and Dell throws her phone down on her counter. Yeah. Yeah, she knows better. She’s the worse anthropologist ever.
In the morning it feels like the sleep helped and perhaps Charlie might not have been stupidly wrong with her advice. She’s at the AmHis by 8, working from her office and trying to ignore her co-workers. She should text him. She will text him, after lunch. When she has some time to think about it.
She’ll apologize and then ask him out and-
“Oh my gawd Dell. How the fuck did you meet Mike Green? Is he coming back? When will he be here?” Dell didn’t realize it was so late but Cecilia is in the building, signaling the entrance of the afternoon crew. Dell buries her head in her arms and rolls it back and forth on her desk. Cecilia is practically vibrating at her shoulder. “Dell! Dell, tell me-“
“I met him yesterday, okay? He was lost and I helped him out and then I offered coffee. And we came here. And I’m sure you know exactly what we talked about. You were listening in your office the whole time.” Dell lifts her head up and checks the clock. 12:37.
Cecilia doesn’t even deny the eavesdropping, the little sneak. “He is so dreamy. I have, like, wet dreams nightly about him. This lockout is killing me.” Dell really doesn’t need to know this about her co-worker. She absolutely doesn’t want to know this.
“Are you gonna see him again?” Cecilia looks her up and down, expectantly.
Dell leans back in her chair. Cecilia is just digging for dirt. She has no idea what happened, the complications in Dell’s life. She opens her mouth to blow off the question when a voice sounds over her shoulder, “I hope so. Or else this is about to be really awkward.”
From over her shoulder, Dell looks up to see Mike, leaning casually against her cubicle. Her heart stops beating as she takes him in. He’s got a cup of coffee in his hand which he holds out to her. Dell’s eyes are wide and she takes the cup. “Mike! Hi!” She doesn’t do anything silly like jump up. Cecilia does that for her instead.
“Oh gawd I’m so embarrassed. Hi, welcome back!” Cecilia is fluttering around. Dell thinks she’s trying to find her phone, probably to get a picture.
Dell stands and nudges Cecilia out of the way. Mike looks amazing. And his hair is stupidly, deliciously long. She can’t believe she didn’t notice yesterday but she thinks that with his pub cap on the whole time she’d have never even imagined. She manages to ask, “How did you get back here?” between noting his hair and that his black sweater hugs his torso tight. She’s gonna need CPR. How could she be so fucking stupid as to turn down dinner and more with this guy?
Because you’ll end up liking him a little voice in the back of her head whispers. She tells that voice to shut the fuck up because it doesn’t know what it’s talking about.
“Mike Too ran into me while I was talking to security. Got me my own visitor’s badge!” He flips the plastic ID card out from his chest proudly. “I’m a regular now!”
That sends her into laughs because really, no man should be so simultaneously panty-dropping attractive yet so boyishly sincere at the same time. No way. Too many ovary casualties. “Mike Too also said it was time for you to get lunch. Can I take you out?” He is so fucking hopeful. Idiot repeats in her head until Cecilia elbows her in the side.
“Of course she’ll go with you! I’m here now; she’s off the clock for at least an hour.” Dell turns to glare at her co-worker because really, she’d planned to eat at her desk, but then Mike gives them a real, huge, and beautiful grin.
Dell has lost. She’s just lost all will to possibly care about being one more notch on this guy’s bed post. She doesn’t judge people for sleeping around but she likes her sexual relationships to be meaningful. This time, though, she’ll make an exception. If Mike Green wants to fuck her, then she’ll be fine with it. Really, she’ll take one for the team.
This thought sends her skittering into giggles again and the way his eyes light up at the sound makes her laugh even more. He either thinks she’s crazy or insane.
He gets her out of the office with minimal fuss and quick waves to her co-workers. He seems to have remembered all of their names, and she gives him props for that. They chat lightly until he escorts her down to the food court and offers to buy her a chicken salad sandwich. She lets him, watching his easy interaction with the cashier.
He catches her watching him and rather than asking her what’s up he grabs her hand and they head out to the Mall. It might be December but it’s a balmy 50 degrees outside. In their coats they are more than prepared for the weather and he sits them down on a bench looking out at the Washington Memorial.
She lets him get a few bites in before asking, “Why did you come back? I thought you were gonna text me.”
“Surprise is a fine art form and is best practiced rather than contemplated.”
Dell quirks an eyebrow. “Sun Tzu?”
Mike gives her another blinding smiling that makes her heart skip a beat. “Nope. Mike Green.” He should be locked up for looking so criminally good. “You’re dressed like a normal person today. What are you working on?”
She laughs and glances down. Yeah, she’s wearing standard dress clothes. “Data entry. I’m working on some GIS for a site in South Carolina. We finished up the sherd analysis last week so now comes the exciting part of laying out the map.”
There’s a long moment where Mike just watches her. “You made half that stuff up, didn’t you? What do you even do as an archaeologist?”
“All true, I swear. GIS is a mapping software that lets us look at a site on a local and regional level. Sherds are pieces of pottery we find. Fancy name for broken clay bowls. And we dig this shit up with trowels, haul it all back to a lab, and look at it for evidence of use. It is super fascinating and I love my work.”
Mike is laughing between bites at her explanation. He takes a big drink of his water before he says, “So no whips or fedoras?” He looks sort of disappointed.
“No. No whips and fedoras. Although, I did grow up on a farm and I do know how to shoot a variety of firearms.”
He holds up his hands. “Don’t shoot me.”
“Never. You are far too handsome to shoot.” She sounds joking when she says it, like she’d mean to but when she catches his eye between the laughing she realizes he’s gone strangely serious. “What? It was a joke.”
Mike looks down at his lap, holding on the remains of his sandwich. “Do you really think I’m handsome?” She would have never expected this sort of insecurity, not from him. Hello, NHL superstar.
“Yeah, of course.”
He looks up then, the full force of those brown eyes slipping into her soul. “Then why’d you turn me down last night?” Ugh, right in the feelings.
“Um . . . “ How does she explain to the ridiculously hot guy who’s leaning close and flirting with her that she's afraid he’s have his merry way with her and then turn her out on the street? Incredibly attractive. He was biting his lip now. “I-“ His eye brows raised, waiting for her answer. She took a deep breath and went for it. “Iwasafraidyoujustwantedgetintomypants.” She slurs all the words and tops it off with a lopsided, awkward grin.
Mike leaned back and blinked as he processed what she said. “Well . . . “ he draws it out, tasting every letter. She watches his lips. “That has certainly crossed my mind but I really just wanted to take you out to eat. I think you’re interesting. Beautiful, too. Certainly not someone I would mind hanging out with for a few hours for dinner.”
She really wasn’t expecting an answer. He’d called her interesting and beautiful. Her heart melts and just like that: her whole sexual conquest plan falls apart at the seams. So he did really like her? And, well, she clearly liked him. “Oh. Well. That was an unfortunate oversight on my part. I’m sorry. I kinda just assumed, since you’re-“ She tries to make her point with a ridiculous flapping of her hands that is ultimately unsuccessful.
“I’m what?” When he furrows his brows like that Dell just wants to brush away the worry lines. She doesn’t. That would be rude.
“You know, dude. You’re you. Like, big time superstar. I figured you were probably just bored with the lock out and on the hunt.” She surprises herself, really, by giving into stereotypes. Charlie was so right and she is such an ass.
Mike’s forehead soothes and he leans back in. “Dell, if I want to get laid, I hang out in a bar with some drunken girls, not that it happens often. Or at all lately. But the point is I don’t spend two hours wandering around exhibits that I don’t really care about so that I can maybe ask someone out for coffee.”
Despite her best efforts at being an adult, aloof Anthropologist through all of this Dell turns tomato red and looks away. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Perhaps after an eternity, or only the few seconds it takes her face to return to normal color, Mike puts one hand to hers. Her eyes snap down as he slides it underneath, bringing their palms together. She can’t breathe; he’s sending an electric current of adrenalin coursing through her veins with this one touch. He says her name softly and she looks up at him. Fuck, his hair is so long. It falls in his eyes so that he’s looking at her from beneath a brush of black. “Do you wanna get dinner with me tonight?” He bites his bottom lip, a little grin tugging up the corners of his mouth. Mother of God.
She nods, dumbly, because when Mike Green gives a girl a smile that sweet yet so full of promise she has no defense.
9/9/13