Dear Patrick
Letter Twenty-Six
Monday, December 2, 2013
Dear Patrick,
It's almost my birthday. It's December 7, in case you forgot. I don’t think you did but then again, I don’t think you pay much attention anymore to anything that has to do with me. I know that for sure, actually. You forgot that December 1st was our prom night. You were supposed to come. That’s what you always do. You always come.
Always is the wrong word to use. Because always means every single time. You didn’t come this time. So it’s no longer always. That killed me Patrick. It killed me so much. I kept thinking I’d walk into my room and I’d see you. I thought you’d surprise me like you did last year.
I’m sure you’ve noticed my handwriting’s getting worse and worse. That’s unlike perfectionist me, right? I just don’t care anymore. I can’t afford to care. I really can’t. Anyway, I don’t have much energy lately. I’m feeling really down. This weekend this guy offered me drugs at Jesse’s Sports Bar and I actually had to think about it. I’m disappointed and disgusted by myself for two reasons, Patrick. One: that I really had to think about it- it took me a lot longer to say no to him than it’s ever taken me to do anything and two: I still took it.
I didn’t want to take it but I did. It’s like I’m not controlling myself- except I’m not controlling myself. Patrick if you ever read these, Pat, I need you. I need your help, Pat. I can’t take this. The drugs are killing me and I can’t do anything. It’s hurting me, Patrick. He’s hurting me, it’s all hurting. He isn’t home now so I can find a way to hide this letter. He keeps telling me you won’t come. You know I think he’s right Pat. You haven’t even written me. But I’m giving him everything he asks for to keep me alive until Christmas.
I know you’ll write me for Christmas. I know you will Kaner. I have to end this short because I hear his car pulling up to the driveway. There isn’t any reason for me to tell you who he is becau
Dear Patrick,
It's almost my birthday. It's December 7, in case you forgot. I don’t think you did but then again, I don’t think you pay much attention anymore to anything that has to do with me. I know that for sure, actually. You forgot that December 1st was our prom night. You were supposed to come. That’s what you always do. You always come.
Always is the wrong word to use. Because always means every single time. You didn’t come this time. So it’s no longer always. That killed me Patrick. It killed me so much. I kept thinking I’d walk into my room and I’d see you. I thought you’d surprise me like you did last year.
I’m sure you’ve noticed my handwriting’s getting worse and worse. That’s unlike perfectionist me, right? I just don’t care anymore. I can’t afford to care. I really can’t. Anyway, I don’t have much energy lately. I’m feeling really down. This weekend this guy offered me drugs at Jesse’s Sports Bar and I actually had to think about it. I’m disappointed and disgusted by myself for two reasons, Patrick. One: that I really had to think about it- it took me a lot longer to say no to him than it’s ever taken me to do anything and two: I still took it.
I didn’t want to take it but I did. It’s like I’m not controlling myself- except I’m not controlling myself. Patrick if you ever read these, Pat, I need you. I need your help, Pat. I can’t take this. The drugs are killing me and I can’t do anything. It’s hurting me, Patrick. He’s hurting me, it’s all hurting. He isn’t home now so I can find a way to hide this letter. He keeps telling me you won’t come. You know I think he’s right Pat. You haven’t even written me. But I’m giving him everything he asks for to keep me alive until Christmas.
I know you’ll write me for Christmas. I know you will Kaner. I have to end this short because I hear his car pulling up to the driveway. There isn’t any reason for me to tell you who he is becau
Notes
the problem with this story is that I think im starting to believe its true. today I saw a kid in a Kaner shirt and I couldn't stop thinking: oh he's so sweet he thinks Lana is the most beautiful thing ever and I had to remind myself like seven times that it isn't real.yelp.
thanks for reading I really appreciate itttt
also, the views has been stuck at 3000 since yesterday. is it frozen or is no one reading or is this website trying to make me cry
Thank you guys so much!! Let me know what you think of the newest chapters!
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2/12/15