Adam was bleeding from his forehead and his chin. Adam was bleeding from his arm and from his leg. Adams neck had a deep cut in it and I couldn't see the blonde of his hair. He had tears in his eyes but not because he was in pain.

"Lana, seeing you like this is killing me." He choked on his words.

He started to help me up and out of the chair they'd stuck and tied me in. It took him forever because he didn't have the strength in his body. I couldn't hear his heart pounding but he heard mine.

"Lana, you need to calm down. Don't be scared of these guys." He kept telling me that. After three long minutes he finally untied my hands and my legs and taken off all the other shit I was forced down with. We walked to the stairs together, his arm around my waist. While we walked, the baby kicked. I winced and then I saw the terror in his eyes.

"You're pregnant?" He said to me, his eyes wide. He had a sudden strength, Pat, and he picked me up. He started running up the stairs, holding me with one hand and the railing to balance with the other.

"I'm gonna get you out of here, Ell," he told me. "You and Pat deserve to have this kid."

"Thanks A," I somehow managed to spit out. "But..."

"Shut up, don't talk, save your breath." He snapped at me. "Don't even do anything or say anything."

We had finally reached the top of the stairs when the door was flung open. It was the pig. Not an actual pig, the disgusting thing. He tried to grab me but Adam's a receiver, his grip was great. He pulled out this needle thing and stuck right into Adam's arm. I saw the light in his eyes go out and as his knees got shaky, his eyes started fluttering. I tried to stand up to hold him up, but the pig grabbed me and pushed Adam up the stairs.

He spit on me. Right in my mouth. And then pushed me. And I tumbled off the side of the walls of the stairs and landed right smack on my stomach. I screamed. So fucking loud. So loud that when I turned, I swear to God the Pig got scared. I saw his eyes widen. He turned fast and slammed the door. I couldn't stop screaming. I don't know what came over me but I was screaming, Pat. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. Not even because I wanted to leave. I just wanted out. I wanted my baby. I wanted to die. She broke my fall. I broke her. I loved her. I kept screaming. I screamed all night. I didn't move from my spot in the middle of the cold, dirty floor. I kept screaming until light flooded in from the crack at the bottom of the door.

Then I started cussing.

I cussed and I cursed and I threatened but what did I really have? What could I even say? They took everything from me. I didn't even care. When he came to drug me the next time I took it. I didn't even fight. Then the Pig came to drug me and I didn't even flinch. I just sat, waiting. He left me, undrugged.

What the fuck was this guy's problem? I got so pissed. He went up the stairs and closed the door, softly this time. I wanted to go knock on the door, just kick and punch it and scream at them. I decided that that's what I was going to do. But when I got to the bottom step I couldn't lift my leg. Later that day, the other guy (not Pig) brought me my papers and let me write. He always did that when Pig left. Pig was disgusting. I hate Pig.

When I gave the other guy the papers back, he was holding back tears. He took them and left.

I was so mad.

I wanted you so bad.

I kept telling myself that when I got out of that hell-hole, I'd come home to a hundred letters from you.

That isn't how everything turned out though.

After the guy left, I went to the toilet in the corner of the basement. How considerate of them to leave me one. I sat down and felt something strange.

Did you know that you could shit your baby out?

Because that's what happened to me.

I felt a splurge kind of. I swore I'd never tell you this because it's disgusting and it depresses me but it's time to get everything out and over with.

When I looked inside, I saw it. And the toilet was all blood. I'd killed my baby and then I'd dumped it into a toilet. When I saw her, I screamed so loud. So loud that Pig came down running. Pig saw and his jaw dropped. He ran up the stairs. I heard Pig and the other guy fighting and then I heard the car reverse quickly and speed off.

"It was now or never." I told myself.

Notes

yes, btw, it is possible to have a miscarriage and shit out your child. it happened to this lady my mom knew and she got so depressed and omg I cant even imagine.