Jordan

Jordan breathed in the cold December air. He watched as the white cloud puff he exhaled flew out into the black night. The bitter Edmonton winter wind cut at the exposed skin of his cheeks and burned. He was waiting, waiting for her to walk past him and make his life good again.

God, how can I her make her stay? He asked himself, he pushed her, pushed her so hard she snapped. She left without a look back and it was his fault. So badly, he wanted to blame his concussion, blame it on the fact he wasn’t thinking straight. It wasn’t though, he was pissed he couldn't play, mad at her for making him realize he had to stop being a baby.

He heard a car door slam and soft footsteps shuffle in the snow. He watched her from the open space between the steps as she walked up the stairs, completely oblivious to him in the shadows. Her beautiful face was flushed from the cold, her long hair, loose and swirling in the wind. She was so amazing it hurt him to think about how he thought he didn’t need her. He needed her more than he needed air.

The soft tinkling of her keys as she pulled them out of her purse. He watched silently as she made her way to the door before deciding he needed to inform her of his presence. “Kirsten.” He breathed her name for the first time since she slammed the door and didn’t come back. She dropped the keys and whirled to face him.

Kirsten

Kirsten almost cried at that very moment. Jordan stood there, tall, strong, and as beautiful as he had been when she walked away from him. He gave her a small smile, his gap tooth showing, it was the smile that made her leave her life in the states behind without a second thought.

Pain raked through her, for a moment, she thought she would fall and be reduced into a puddle of tears. “Jordan.” She couldn't keep the warmth from her voice. She still loved him so much. Not anything could make her hate him.

In a flash, he pulled her to him. His musky, warm scent surrounded her. She felt more at home than she had her entire life. His rough fingers pushed into her hair and held her to his chest. Kirsten could hear the strong steady beat of his heart. “I am so sorry. I don’t know what to do to make you realize how sorry I am and how much I need you.”

Kirsten started to pull away, he couldn’t do this. “Jordan, you can’t do this. You can’t keep pushing me away whenever something doesn’t go the way you planned it.”

Jordan didn’t say anything but he didn’t let her pull away from him. She let herself rest against his chest, his jacket was open and the soft fabric of his sweater was warm beneath her cheek. Without even noticing it, she was gripping his shoulders, not letting him get away either.

They stood there for a long time before Jordan bent down to press his lips to her ear. “I love you so much.” The words were a shook, with everything in her, she knew they were true. They had been since she moved with him but this was the first time he’d ever told her. “And I need you in my life. I need you, Kir. I need you with me in the morning, humming in the kitchen making me breakfast. I need you there cheering for me in the stands. I need you there when I win. I need you there at night when I lose. I need you by my side. How can I convince you that I don’t mean to push you away? That I don’t want to!”

“Jordan…” she started.

“No, it’s more than that.” He pulled her down the stairs and led her to his car. Kirsten knew she shouldn't be going with him. She knew that this could end up the way it had every time before. But she let him.

They sat in silence while he drove a little out of the city. Houses started to get farther and farther apart. They stopped in front of one she’d never seen before. It wasn’t huge, it was nice, pretty. Kirsten could feel Jordan scoot across the seat of his truck and press behind her.

All of a sudden, the house lit up. White Christmas lights lit up. It showed the untouched white snow, the classic black shutters against the pristine white paint. The huge garland on the door even lit up. The lights hung from the gutter, wrapped around the railing and poles of the porch. It took her breath away.

“What’re we doing here, Jordan?” She asked. He ignored her question and wrapped his arm around her belly to push her back against his chest.

“It’s a nice 3 bedroom, you know?” his kissed her jaw. “Perfect for us, really. Those two little Eberles we wanted running around. There’s room for an impromptu rink in the back. The basement is perfect for entertainment. There’s even a guest room for Hallsy.” They both chuckled but he went on. “Can you see it? You, running around the kitchen baking cookies. Two little guys racing around the little back yard rink.”

“Jordan, stop.” She begged. The picture was perfect in her head, she wanted it so much but Jordan felt too easy, he fell for her too easy, they started too easy, he got mad to easy and took it out on her.

“No, I won’t. Not until you say you can see it.” He growled. “I’m sorry and I want you to know it.” Jordan pressed her harder against him.

“Jordan, you know I can. It’s all we’ve ever talked about but this…” she gestured to the house. “Maybe it was a mistake. We aren’t good together. Maybe I should go back to Chicago.”

“And let goddamned, Kane scoop you up? Fuck no.” Kirsten laughed at his protectiveness; he’d never understand her relationship with Patrick. “You can’t go. I love you. You.re perfect for me, we are good together.”

Jordan physically turned her to face him. His eyes were soft.
“Kirsten, I love you so much. I want you there with me. Through everything. I want you there when I win the cup. I want you there when I get injuries. I want you there when I fucking retire, for pete’s sake. I want you walking towards me in a white dress. I want you to have my kids. Please don’t make me live without you.”

Jesus, Kirsten though to herself, he wasn’t making it easy. Her heart swelled with love and she knew she couldn’t leave him in a million years. She wasn’t going to make it easy on him.

Jordan

He watched her. Every move she made, he took notice. Jordan thought about the hours of preparation he’d taken to lead up to this moment. “Marry me?” he asked. Never in his life had his voice been soft.

For a moment, Kirsten just looked at him. “This moment is entirely to scenic.” She mumbled, her fingers intertwining with his. “The snow falling, the Christmas lights, your truck. You’re such a mastermind. Or did Smid come up with this?”

Jordan felt himself blush, Kirsten just giggled. “The house, it’s for you. It’s ours already. Inside, there’s a tree waiting to be decorated from Nuge and, well, a box of, well, a box of condom from Hallsy.” This time, she tipped her head back and laughed. He took the opportunity to kiss the long column of her throat.

“Jordan, you know I love you but…” his heart fell, if she said no, he didn’t know what he would do. “You don’t have to buy me houses to tell me you love me.” She whispered. Jordan looked up at her face, tears ran down her cheeks as she smiled at him.

He pulled her to him. “I will take that as a yes.” His heart was beating a million miles an hour and he could hear it. “I love you.” It was really the truth, he’d never in his life, love anything more than the woman in his arms.

“I love you too, Jord. Don’t let me down.” She mumbled against his cheek.

“I won’t.” He meant it and he would keep that promise for the rest of his life.