James was alone with just his thoughts the whole drive back to Denver….and he hated it. His body may have been in his rental car somewhere on Interstate 70, but his heart was split between being with Ali in her car, and back at their rental home. He squeezed the bill of his hat and switched hands on the steering wheel. Rubbing his temple, James wondered if he was developing a headache or if it was just the effects of coming down in elevation. He hoped it was the latter.

Somewhere ahead on the road drove Ali, and all James wanted to do was be with her. They didn’t want to leave their little home in the mountains, and they didn’t want to get on separate planes and fly farther away from one another.

But that’s my life, and I love hockey too much to sigh too heavily at the fact I have to play tomorrow, road game or not.

During the course of his and Ali’s stay, James had received numerous texts from guys on the team. They all asked the same question: Did you do it? Did she say yes? Are you never coming back? Are you officially a pussy? She didn’t already put your balls in her purse, did she? He hadn’t responded to any of them; he promised himself on his drive to meet up with Ali that he wouldn’t touch his phone unless he had to. But now he had to answer at least some of them, so they wouldn’t think he died. After he got checked in at the airport, he’d take care of that.

Two hours on the road turned into three hours on the road, and before he knew it, he and Ali were riding the shuttle from the rental car offices to the airport. Ali held his hand casually, but stared off blankly. James gave her a little nudge, which made her bring her eyes to him.

“Don’t be sad, babe.”

“I just hate to leave.” She looked back out the windows of the shuttle bus. “There isn’t even snow over here. Makes it feel like we weren’t even there or had all the fun that we did.”

He understood what Ali was feeling; maybe not as deeply as her, but he felt it nonetheless. That house would always be their spot now; forever marked as the location of their engagement. It’s why it was tugging at his heart too, but James always prided himself on being able to move quickly from situation to situation. Despite this, he didn’t want to leave Ali for another few days with a frown on her face.

“Hey, look at me.”

She drew her brown eyes towards him.

“We’ll come back. We’ll come back every year, even if it’s not on the same date…but we will.”

Ali smiled, holding his hand a little tighter. “I hope so.”

Her eyes were shining as if they were teetering on the edge of clouding up with tears. James watched and waited, but none came. Ali’s eyes just simply sparkled; no water needed.

They exited the bus and retrieved their luggage before making the long process of checking bags and going through security. When they arrived at Terminal A, James walked Ali to her gate, which was on the exact opposite end of the terminal from where he needed to be.

They turned and faced one another solemnly. Ali’s hands ran along the sleeves of James’ pea coat, gripping at his elbows. “What is there to say, really?”

“No need to say anything.” James leaned down and their lips met tenderly. No tongue, no heated frenzy, nothing. Just a soft kiss that meant more than what was likely visible to people walking by.

“Call me when you get home?”

Ali nodded. “You do the same when you get to Dallas.”

“I will.” Slowly, James’ smile appeared. “Can I see it one more time?”

Ali lifted the hand with her new ring and did a little pose. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Like its owner” James said. “What’s your name again?”

“Allison Neal.”

“And who’s your husband?”

With a giggle, Ali’s smile finally took over her face. “James Neal, number 18 for the Pittsburgh Penguins.”

He clicked his tongue. “I don’t know, I think you need more practice.”

They hugged, and they hugged for a long time. James didn’t want to leave, but Ali had to go, and he had a game to get to. Life was calling, and they each had to answer.

* * *

“Sup, Nealer!”

Thank. God.
At least it’s him.

“Pauuullliiee.” James shook hands with his friend and neighbor when they met at baggage claim. “Looking fresh, my friend.”

Paul looked down at his suit. “What’s wrong with my suit?”

“Your shoes.” He pointed at Paul’s loafers. “Chico’s special?”

“I see your vacation didn’t stop you from being an ass” Paul remarked with some humor.

“So what’d I miss?”

“What did you MISS?” Paul laughed. “Don’t act like nothing happened. I see through you!”

James smiled. “She said yes.”

“No. Shit.”

The baggage carousel began to spin in front of them. It distracted James, but Paul was frozen solid.

“So, wait….”

James looked at him.

“….So you’re getting married.” Paul seemed awestruck. “It’s legit and everything now?”

“She’s wearing the ring as we speak.”

Paul laughed so loudly that people standing near him gave him the side eye. Gradually, pieces of luggage were visible on the spinning carousel. James kept one eye out for his suitcases, while still watching Paul have his moment.

“Look at you!” Paul held out his hand. “You’re not even fazed by this!”

“I told you I was serious.” James crossed his arms over his chest. “And why is this such a massive surprise to everyone?”

“No, no….hang on. We’re all happy here, Neal.” Paul said. “And don’t get me wrong, I am beyond thrilled for you. It’s just hard for me to believe I’m talking to the same neighbor who was kicking random girls out of his house once a night. That’s why this is so huge, and THAT’S why I am so happy for you.”

James smiled. “Thanks, it really is, isn’t it? It’s exciting though, even though I have absolutely no fucking clue what comes next.”

“Aahh, chicks are good at this sort of thing, right?” Paul clapped him on the back. “Ali’s got this. How the hell did she react anyways?”

It would be burned into his memory for as long as he lived. A part of him didn’t even want to tell anyone. He wanted that for himself, and only himself.

So he gave Paul the watered down version, weakly explaining they were sledding at the time and Ali wouldn’t stop crying and details like that. He kept the good stuff for himself. Eventually, his luggage appeared on the moving belt, and both James and Paul moved on to other topics as they walked out to the van he was driving. It was a team van, James could tell right away, and it made the feeling of being back to reality all the more real.

The drive to the hotel the team was staying at was near the airport, so James and Paul couldn’t cover everything they wanted to in that small amount of time. All in all, James seemed to have missed just one practice skate, and it was optional. He likely would’ve gone if he was home, but since it was an optional skate, he didn’t feel so guilty.

His greeting in the hotel was unreal. For the most part, James expected to at least be able to make it to his room before they started bombarding him for details on how it went. He was wrong, though. Once entering the floor the team occupied, Joe Vitale was in the hallway at the time and spotted him right away. That’s all it took before the entire floor knew James was back.

Geno was the best reception, as James expected. His large figure came bounding down the hall, yelling his name and roughhousing him the minute they met. He demanded to know exactly what happened, along with just about everyone else on the team. James thought the best way of attacking the attention he was getting was to hold a mock press conference in his and Nisky’s room.

“Just tell us what she said” Fleury asked. “The fact you came back today and not two days ago means she said yes, right?”

Some of the others laughed, and James cracked a grin himself. “Damn right she said yes, Flower.”

Cheers rang out. James felt like some sort of celebrity amongst his own teammates. It was a strange yet cool feeling to have.

“When you plan wedding?” Geno asked.

“No clue, we didn’t get that far.”

Dupuis slapped Sid in the arm. “That’s because they spent the rest of their time fucking.”

Everyone heard his comment, including James. He couldn’t argue with him…not totally. “Welllll, ya know…there was a fair share of celebrating…”

More chirping ensued.

“So what’s next then, Nealer?” Sid asked.

“What do you mean?” He frowned a little, unsure of where Crosby was going with this.

Sid shrugged. “Well I mean, she understands what she’s committing to, right? Travel, long stretches on the road, charity events, team buil—“

“—She’s lived with me for 8 months” James interjected. “I think she’s got an idea.” He knew what Crosby was getting at, and he wasn’t up for it. He had too much good going on right now to be reminded of incidents in his past, wether Ali was in his life at the time or not.

“Okay, okay” Sid said, raising both hands. “Everyone’s thought it out, that’s all I was wondering. Just looking out for ya.”

Sharp, thoughtful, careful Crosby.

“Thanks, Sid.” It was all James could come up with.

Beau lifted a finger, drawing the attention of everyone back to where he stood next to the windows. “You never answered my damn text message, ya know.”

James chuckled. “I didn’t answer anyone’s, Sunny – so don’t be thinking you’re special.”

“Oh I don’t care about special” Beau fired back. “I DO care if Ali’s got your balls safe in her purse, though.”

Everyone laughed, and a few expectant looks turned towards James. He shrugged and grinned. “She had my balls in her mouth last night, so does it matter?”

Another round of cheers.

Beau nodded, satisfied with the answer. He was shoved in the shoulder by Tanner Glass who was standing next to him, so Beau shoved him back playfully.

“So does that cover it?” James asked. “I got engaged. Let’s just all take some time to digest it – myself included, alright?”

Everyone nodded and agreed. Slowly, the guys who had been sitting now stood and they filed out of his hotel room. Some shook his hand again; others nudged him and slapped him on the back amicably.

When they’d all finally left, including Geno (who stayed an extra ten minutes just to catch up on everything else), James flopped back on his bed with a heavy sigh. Matt stood nearby, shaking his head.

James looked at him. “What?”

“Can’t believe it, man. I’m impressed.”

“Seems like everyone is.”

“I think it’s awesome, though. Don’t let some of their shit get to you…whatever Sid said, or Bennett.”

With his hands, he rubbed his face and groaned. “I know. I’ll just ignore it. Sid’s probably just pissed there isn’t a waitress in Dallas who wants his cock yet.”

Matt laughed. “That’s probably true.”

James rolled over onto his stomach and took his phone out of his pocket. He set an alarm on it for 30 minutes, then placed it on the bedside table. “I need rest or something before we go out to dinner…Wake me up if my alarm doesn’t.”

“I’m stepping out anyways. I’ll come back and check on ya before we go.”

“Thanks.”

Matt left James alone, and when he heard the door to the hotel room clang shut, he breathed a sigh of relief.

At least that’s over with.

He fell asleep a few minutes later, dreaming of a snow-covered cabin in the woods.

* * *

Ali was none too happy to be home. Pittsburgh looked exactly the same as it did when she left. The only thing that brought a perk to her arrival was the prospect of rushing into work (since she was right there anyway), and getting to tell her big news to her coworkers.

When she entered the front doors of the Hyatt, she was greeted by none other than John and Becky, who did her a solid by covering Ali’s shifts while she was gone. It was exactly the two people she was hoping to encounter.

The welcoming was similar to James’. Though it consisted of fewer people, it wasn’t any less overwhelming. John went totally silent when she showed him and Becky the ring. Becky, on the other hand, went absolutely ballistic.

She gasped loudly and held Ali’s hand out to inspect the ring. “I knew it, I knew it, I KNEW IT.”

Ali stood beaming, watching as her two coworkers fawned over the ring and over the news in general.

“Oh my God, did you not just DIE?”

“In a way, yeah” she said, watching Becky continually sigh and fan herself every time she looked at the ring.

“You are totally – and I mean totally – inviting us to the wedding, you know” John said, raising one of his eyebrows. “Because I want the chance to say I got absolutely shitfaced with the Penguins.”

Becky threw a side eye at John and laughed. “I agree with all of that except that last part.”

Ali looked at her smartly. “Really? You don’t want to get drunk with the team?”

“Yes.”

Ali kept staring at her until she caved.

“Okay maybe just Crosby.”

“You’re horrible!” Ali joked, and Becky hugged her for the third time in that ten-minute time span.

“So where is he? At another game?” Becky asked. “When are we going to have your bachelorette party?”

“And will I be invited to that?” John asked.

Ali didn’t even think about the bachelorette party. In fact, she hadn’t thought about a lot. But she had time. She had a lot of time.

“Let’s just be patient…I’ll figure all that out in due time.” Ali took a deep breath and looked between her friends. “Until then, can we just keep looking at this?” She held her hand out and both John and Becky squealed.

It went on like this for another ten minutes until a family of four arrived at the desk. Ali felt like she was just taking up their time now that the initial excitement was over, so she wished them both a quick goodbye and left them to their shift.

Outside, the air was chilly, though it wasn’t Aspen-chilly. Still, Ali clung to the scarf about her neck as she walked through the long-term parking lot in search of her car. It wasn’t a big and fancy thing like her rental had been, but the minute she sat down inside, she felt somewhat better. At least it was familiar and comfortable. Maybe coming home wouldn’t be so bad.

Her mind changed immediately upon entering evening traffic. It took her and James exactly three minutes to make it from their house on the hill down to Aspen, and now it was taking her almost 40 minutes to get home.

She sighed and pushed her head back against the headrest. Next to her in the cup holder was her phone, so she checked for any missed messages. There were none.

Back to silence, I guess.

Frustrated with the lack of distraction and the lack of movement on the highway, Ali stared down at her ring. She just left Colorado that morning, but she felt weirdly disconnected from James already. It wasn’t just parting ways after a great trip; it was a complete mind shift.

Now, her mental state was so……committal.

Ali noticed this once she got home, too. Lugging her suitcase up the steps to the bedroom, she looked around with new eyes. The room seemed more serious all of a sudden.

You’re crazy, Allison. Relax.

She couldn’t, though. Downstairs, she went about turning the heat back up to a normal temperature, checking the fridge for food supplies and seeing what she’d need to pick up the next day to restock, then went out to the mailbox to grab the stack that was stuffed inside.

When she came back in, she felt an odd sensation come over her.

In a way, she felt……older.

It was weird, and she wasn’t processing it very well. Looking down at the stack of mail, her dumb slippers she loved to wear, the house too big for two people that was way too empty…she felt older.

Yes, definitely older.

You’re tired. You’ve been traveling literally all day, and you’ve had an intense week. Ali tried to repeat these facts over and over in her mind until she realized she should probably just hang it up and go to bed.

When she showered and got ready for bed, her phone finally rang. She hurried over to the bed where it had been sitting.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mrs. Neal?”

Ali laughed. “Stop it with that!”

“Come on, you need practice! Play along.”

She rolled her eyes and plopped down on the edge of the bed. “Okay, okay.”

James cleared his throat. “Hi, Mrs. Neal?”

“Yes, this is she.” Ali felt silly, except the grin on her face wouldn’t cooperate and disappear.

“Yes, hi…I heard you suck dick fairly well, and I was wondering—“

“JAMES!”

“Play along, dammit!”

“Ugh, fine.” She inhaled. “What was it you were inquiring, sir?”

“I heard there was a Mrs. Allison Neal who sucked dick really well.”

“Who told you that?”

“Mr. Neal.”

“Is that who I’m speaking to?”

“Yes. And my dick misses you.”

She shook her head. “That’s all that misses me?”

“Nooooooo.” James laughed. “I miss you like crazy. All of you.”

“I miss you too” Ali said, lying back on the bed with her legs dangling off the end. “Loneliest plane ride ever.”

“Mine too…And Paulie picked me up, so you can imagine how that went.”

She smiled because she could. “Was everyone excited for you? I stopped and talked to Becky and John on my way out. They were psyched as hell, and they both want to come to the wedding. Obviously.”

“Obviously” he echoed. “And I’d say everyone was pretty excited. Wiped me out, though.”

Ali frowned. “Were you able to rest at all?”

“Yeah, I took a nap. Wasn’t long though.”

James sighed audibly and Ali could tell he was still tired. The past few days had been a blur for the both of them, and she could only guess how weary he must really be.

“Morning skate tomorrow too” he added with a groan. “Can we just go back?”

She smiled against the phone, wishing she could smile against him instead. “Once you hit the ice tomorrow, you’ll forget about everything else.”

“I love you.”

“Focus! I’m trying to be your motivational speaker and you’re getting all soft on me.” That got a laugh out of him, and Ali felt better. “I’m glad you called, though. Soft or not.”

“You know I was going to, it just always depends on where I’m at and what time it is there.”

“I know.”

They both went silent. James was on his hotel bed wearing his usual business casual attire he and the team always wore out to team dinners together. Ali was on her bed in a pink plush robe.

“Still alive over there, Mr. Neal?” she teased.

“Barely.”

“Well go get some sleep, there’s always tomorrow.”

“Okay, babe.”

James had that far-off sleepy voice he got when he was close to falling asleep. Ali could see him in her mind: eyes closed, mouth relaxed, chest steadily rising and falling. It made her miss him more.

“Night, James.”

“Mr. Neal.”

She giggled. “Right. Mr. Neal.”

“Night, Mrs. Neal.”

All Ali could do was smile.

* * *

It was the first time James stepped out onto the ice as an engaged man. Not only that, he was doing it in his old digs. The arena was familiar, some of the guys on the Stars were familiar, the city itself and everything about it was familiar….and James could care less.

He skated onto the ice for warm-ups as if he owned the place. In his mind, he did. He glided around their end of the ice, shooting a puck here or there, but mostly just trying to get his legs warmed up. It was good to feel the ice under him again, and all his thoughts and focus were devoted to it for the next few hours.

In Pittsburgh, Ali was just settling down to watch the pre-game show. It was her first game where she donned a ring that one of the players had given her. She hoped that player would do well tonight. She also hoped he might be interviewed, so she could gaze at him with completely new eyes.

On televised away games, it was always easier for Ali to spot James in his white jersey. He stuck out more, and it gradually became her choice to wear one of his away jerseys whenever she could attend a game. Tonight was no different: she spotted James right away as he his line started the game, and right off the bat James took two good shots, but with no luck.

As the game went on, Ali was noticing something. The more she watched, the more she was getting that feeling she had the day before: that her mindset had shifted somehow. There she was, sitting on her couch watching her boyfriend play hockey, and she felt empty.

Fiancé. He’s your fiancé now.

Ali sighed, realizing maybe her mind hadn’t totally shifted; not yet anyway. Slowly, with every minute draining away on the clock, Ali felt more and more frustrated. All of it was getting to her. She watched the camera pan over Geno and James having a conversation on the ice before a face off. One half of that conversation proposed to her just nights ago.

Nights ago.

That was Ali’s problem. It was the harsh, cold-turkey way they separated at the airport after a really emotionally high vacation together. Or maybe she was just feeling lonely, but that never bothered her before, and she wouldn’t let it get to her now.

She glanced down at the ring, then lifted her eyes to the television where James was racing down the ice alongside his teammates. The whistle blew, bringing her entire focus back to the game. Good thing it did, because the penalty called was on James.

Frowning, she followed James with her eyes as he argued with the ref. Both of them skated towards the penalty box, but only James went in. Ali could tell he was clearly pissed by his signature pissed off feature, which was his clenched jaw. He was shaking his head, brows furrowed and eyes burning bright and hot.

Such a change from just a day ago, Ali thought. She rolled the ring around her finger nervously. After a minute or so, she realized she was being fidgety and she quit.

Her emotions were all over the place. Ali tried to search for an answer as to why they were so keyed up. In all honesty, she knew why; she was just embarrassed to admit it, even if she was only admitting it to herself.

Ali hated giving James back over to the game. It was all too damn fucking quick, that’s all. It wasn’t about not understanding that James had a life commitment to hockey; she got that, and she would never argue it. But it felt like she was still celebrating this amazing occurrence in her life, and she was doing it alone.

”So where is he? Another game?"

Those had been Becky’s first words after hearing the news. It didn’t faze Ali at the time, but now it was starting to grate her nerves.

Another game.

It was the “another” part of that statement that was pissing her off.

Ali was confused by everything flying around in her head and didn’t have the patience to figure it out. So she did the only thing she thought might help.

She turned the game off.

* * *