The Games We Play

"JAMES!"

He heard Ali yelling, but he had tunnel vision.
He also had Tony by the collar.

"Want to say anything else about her?" His blood was racing hot, and he could feel the heat in his face and through his body.

Tony wiped his mouth. "Yeah. She can suck dick like a pro."

He threw another punch, sending Tony to the ground. Ali tried to grab James by his sweater, but he yelled for her to stay back.

"What the hell is your problem, man?" Tony tried to stand up, but James helped him by pulling on his collar once more.

"Finished? Or is there more?"

Ali stood there in total shock. She didn't know what to do. Looking around, she saw an entire town's worth of familiar faces, and they were all staring at her fiancé with his death grip on her ex-boyfriend's shirt.

"James, please..."

"Stay out of this, Ali."

Tony laughed, his dark eyes looking towards her. "Don't fight his battles for him, Ali. He already needs Malkin to help him sco--"

James knocked him so hard this time he fell back on the floor, rolling onto his stomach. He was coughing and groaning, blood dripping from his lip. James flexed his hand. At least he's got a strong jaw.

"Jesus Christ, James - what the hell are you doing?" Ali pulled him by the arm, and he seemed to come out of whatever daze he had been in.

Around them, everyone was muttering and talking. Jackie had run up beside Ali, but was as speechless as she was. The bar tender was yelling for someone to get rid of James and get him out of the bar, and Ali was mortified.

James leaned down in Tony's face, pointing at him. "You call me fucking weak or talk about my girl like that ever again--"

"--Just STOP, please." Ali had both hands on James now, pushing him away from Tony and away from two men who were now coming to escort him out.

"I got him, I got him" Ali told them. "Sorry, Brenda!"

Brenda was the bar's owner, but was also the bar tender, who Ali had been talking to earlier. She was clearly pissed about the fighting, and wanted both Tony and James out. A few others were lifting Tony off the ground, and Jackie went to get him something for his mouth.

James shook Ali off him and saw himself out the door. He needed the cold air outside more than anything. It hit him like a wall the minute he stepped out, helping to cool the fire inside of him.

When Ali finally came out, she found James pacing along the sidewalk. He looked at her, eyes still alive with anger, but continued to pace.

"What the fuck was that?" she asked, coming towards him. "Whatwas that, James?"

He spun around to face her. "Did you hear what he said about you?"

"Yeah, but you didn't see me punching him, did you? And it was ABOUT ME."

James stood still, shaking his head. She wouldn't get it. He didn't want to hear about another guy fucking her. He didn't want to know there were others who knew the things about Ali that he knew. He wanted everything about her to be his, exclusively. Those were his eyes, his mouth, his body, his mind, his girl. No one else's.

"He deserved every hit I gave him!"

"Ugh."

"And how could you go out with a complete dick like that?" His tone was full of hate. "What did you ever see in him?"

Ali frowned. "What?!?"

James stepped towards her. "How many other assholes did you date before me?"

She stood there speechless.

"Is that why you went out with me?" he continued. "You think I fit in with morons like that?"

"No, James." Ali folded her arms over her chest. "That's not why I went out with you and you know it."

He felt himself getting angry all over again. He had to remind himself not to shout, but it wasn't working very well. He turned away from Ali and started pacing again, his hand going to his hair.

Ali watched him silently, too angry to say anything.

"Well I'm sorry, babe." James turned to face her. He heard the jingle of keys and then watched Ali walk away.

"Just get in the car."

She got in and shut the door, noticing for the first time how hard she was breathing. In a minute or two, when James finally did join her, he seemed to have come down a little.

"Babe?" His anger was now turning into worry. Ali was resting her head on the steering wheel, not moving.

"Do you ever think about anyone else when you do shit like that?"

Her voice was muffled, so James didn't hear her. "Why don't I what?"

"Do you ever" Ali said, lifting her head, "think about anyone else when you do shit like that?"

James didn't know what to say.

"Did it cross your mind that this is a small town? That everyone will talk about this now?" Ali stared at him. "Did you think that maybe just walking out or saying you wanted to leave would have been better for everyone, including me?"

"I-- I'm sorry, Ali..."

"And NOW....my parents are going to have to answer to questions!" She blinked back tears of frustration. Inhaling, she got her voice back under control. "It's a small town, James. This wasn't how I wanted to leave them talking about you."

James felt horrible; like a weird, heavy sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Ali was pissed, and he didn't blame her. What hurt most was that she was right. He got so angry in the bar that he didn't even think; he just reacted. All he knew in that moment was that he didn't want to hear about Ali with anyone else other than him.

When James didn't say anything, Ali put the car in reverse and drove back to the house. They didn't speak the whole ride back.

* * *

Ali and James lay in bed together, both on their backs and their gazes directed at the ceiling. It was dark in Ali's room, but she could still see James' eyes when he looked at her.

"It was wrong, I know that."

"I know you do."

"I shouldn't have done it."

Ali looked over at him. "Come on, James."

He shrugged his face sadly. "Okay, I don't regret hitting him, but I regret how it affected you." Turning on his side, James placed his hand on Ali's stomach. "I just can't handle it when guys....I don't know...talk about you like that."

"You do know I wasn't a virgin before I met you, right?" When she asked him this, he blinked hard, as if he just got hit.

"Yes, but--"

"No buts, babe."

James sighed quietly. "You don't understand what it's like to hear stuff like that though...and from such an asshole..."

"Really?" Ali flipped on her side now. "I don't understand? I don't understand you were basically a manwhore the entire time leading up to us meeting?" When he didn't respond, Ali rolled onto her back again.

With that statement, James realized that maybe she did have some idea of what it must be like. But all of his past flings weren't standing around telling her anything about how he fucked them. That was the difference.

He stared at her as she stared at the ceiling. "So how long are you going to be mad at me for this?"

Who asks that? She would have smiled, but her anger was too fresh to allow it. "Let's just go to sleep and forget it for now."

James didn't want to accept that, but he figured it might be for the best. He leaned over and kissed Ali on the cheek, then rolled away from her. He'd give her whatever time she needed; he could do nothing else.

Ali heard James' breathing slow and felt his body relax next to her, which let her know he was asleep. She looked over at the sleeping form next to her. He looks like such a little boy when he sleeps, and yet he's dealing out fists left and right anymore.

She felt anger flare inside her again just thinking of it, so she rolled over and faced away from him. On the nightstand next to the bed was her phone, where she laid it to charge through the night. She stared at it, wondering if she should pick it up and do what she wanted to do.

She hesitated a moment longer, then said fuck it and picked it up. She scrolled through her contact list until she came to the S's. She clicked on "Sid", then drafted a text:

Hey. Can't sleep. James hit someone at a bar in my hometown and I'm beyond pissed. Why does he do this stuff?

Ali hit send. It was after midnight and she figured Sid would be asleep, so when a response came back in less than a minute, she was both surprised and thankful.

S: Sorry to hear that. Why did he hit someone?

A: It was my ex-boyfriend from high school. Of all people. He said something really unnecessary about me, so James hit him.

S: If I wasn't me, I would have done the same.

Ali knew what he meant. Being the face of the NHL came with extra responsibility, but it was interesting to hear he would have had a similar reaction to what James did.

A: Really? In James' defense, my ex is a huge asshole.

S: Yes really, and yeah he sounds like it. Sorry, Ali.

A: It's okay. Thanks.

S: I didn't know you guys were out of town. Will Nealer be back for practice?

She had to laugh. Sid was Sid, and always would be.

A: Yes, silly.

S: Was that bad of me? Sorry. :-)

A: It's okay. There's a rumor you're a captain of some team. Can't remember which.

S: Har har.

Ali lay there, wondering what Sid was doing awake so late. He wasn't someone that struck her as the type to 'stay out late' on Friday nights, or stay up if he didn't have a reason to. Then again, though the popular opinion was that he was some sort of god....he actually was human.

Her phone vibrated again:

S: Can I ask you what this guy said about you?

Ali wished he wouldn't have, but she told him anyways.

A: Said something about having sex with me...

S: Oh. Ouch. No wonder Nealer hit him.

A: Would you really have done the same? Be honest.

S: If you were my girlfriend, yeah. Maybe not hit him, you know...but I wouldn't have been silent either.

Ali wondered if all men were really the same. If Sidney Crosby would have words with a guy who talked about his chick like that, then the whole world's population of men were likely to have reacted as well. It made her think twice about what James did, not that it excused him any.

S: I'll let you sleep. Thanks for texting me.

A: I told you. Can't sleep. But if you're tired, I can let you go.

S: Not tired, just didn't know what to say. I'm laying here in bed watching a horrible movie.

A: What movie?

S: Twilight.

Ali laughed out loud, then covered her mouth so she wouldn't wake James. She waited to see if he moved next to her, but he didn't. Exhaling as quietly as she could, she bit her lip and tried not to laugh as she wrote back.

A: We can't speak to one another anymore. ;-)

S: There's nothing else on, I swear!

A: There's ALWAYS something else on when it comes to that movie, Sid!

There was a pause in communication, and Ali wondered if she teased him too much. It was too easy, though. The idea of Crosby lying in bed watching Twilight was just entirely too funny.

S: Just don't tell.

A: Secret's safe with me!

S: Good. Thanks.

A second text from Sid followed that one before Ali could even write a response:

S: Why did you text me tonight?

Ali didn't know how to respond. She didn't know if she shouldrespond.

She did anyway.

A: Because I seem to like how you comfort me when shit hits the fan.

It took Sid a couple minutes, but he responded.

S: It makes me feel good I can be that for you. But it's also torture...in a way. Don't take that wrong.

Don't take that wrong? Ali sighed and put a hand over her face. I should've just gone to bed.

A: I know. I shouldn't have done it. I meant no harm, Sid.

S: No harm done. But you know what I mean, right?

She did.

A: Yes. I'm sorry. Next time James fucks up, I won't run to you, if it would make you feel better.

S: It definitely WOULD NOT.

Mixed signals. Always. Men were confusing, confusing creatures, and Ali wished she would have texted Brittany instead. Brittany would have just criticized James and made her feel worse, though. Sid always made her feel better.

A: What do you want then?

S: I can't say, because it can't happen.

Ali's brain was getting scrambled now, and she needed to end the conversation before it went any further. Where this was going was never her intent when she first texted him.

A: Okay...fair enough, I guess. Thanks for listening to me. I do feel better.

S: That's all that matters. Cut Neal somewhat of a break, ok?

A: Maybe. :-) Night, Sid. Enjoy Bella.

S: I'll be sure to. ;-) Night.

Ali erased all the messages and then set her phone on the table. She rolled over so she faced James' back, then wrapped an arm around him at the waist, taking the position of outside spoon.

* * *

She woke up before James the next morning, somewhat thankful for that. Apparently, at some point in the night, they ended up in one another's arms as they usually did. Her face rested against his chest, his white t-shirt the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. The lingering scent of his cologne was as comforting as were his arms, which were both wrapped around her.

Since James slept like the dead, Ali was able to lift an arm off her and slide out from the other without waking him. She went into the kitchen where she thought she heard movement from the bedroom. Shuffling in, she found her mom making coffee and feeding Chester.

"Hey Mom."

"Morning!"

Chester saw Ali and immediately starting wagging his little tail. She reached down and petted him, but his interest quickly turned to the food in his dish. Taking a seat at the table, her mom handed her a cup of coffee she'd just prepared.

"Figured you might want some" Wendy said, handing her a cup of sugar. "Hopefully I didn't wake you."

"You didn't, and I definitely need this."

Wendy noticed the edge in her daughter's tone and took a seat across from her. "How late did you get in? Your father and I didn't even hear you two."

"We got home earlier than planned, that's for sure." Ali took a sip of coffee, feeling better as the sharp aroma filled her nose. She didn't want to tell her mom what happened, but she had to...otherwise, she'd have no idea what anyone was talking about if they confronted her about it.

"Oh no, why! Was James not having fun?" Wendy asked.

"Well...." Fuck, how do I even start this. "...We ran into Tony."

Wendy slowly nodded. "Ohhhhhhhh."

Ali could tell she likely didn't even need to proceed. Her parents never did like Tony when they were dating. In fact, they disliked him so much and were so verbal about it, it ending up causing additional strain in an already rocky relationship.

"Did he say something to James?"

"Yes. And more than he should have." Ali looked her mom in the eyes. "James ended up hitting him."

"Hitting him?"

"Three times."

"James hit Tony three times?!?" Wendy sat back a little, mulling this over. "Well, I mean...he is a hockey player..."

"Mom! That's not an excuse!"

"Well hunny, you know how they're prone to fighting..."

Ali blinked. "This wasn't on ice and no one was wearing padding. This was a straight shot to the face, three times, and Tony's mouth was bleeding."

At the mention of blood, Wendy stared at the table. She remained quiet for a while. Ali took another drink of coffee, feeling her heartbeat increasing in speed all over again.

"I just wanted to tell you incase anyone in town asks you what that was all about" Ali finished. She looked to her mom for a response, but none came. "Mom?"

Wendy lifted her gaze. "I won't tell your father, and I won't say anything to James when he wakes up.......but that was a bit bold of him."

Bold. She thinks it was bold.

Ali sighed. "I'm sorry, mom...I really didn't expect to run into Tony, and I really never EVER expected James to walk into a bar and start throwing punches."

"He just had a fight on the ice not too long ago, didn't he?" Wendy asked. "With one of the Boston guys?"

"Yeah."

"Is he going through something?"

She'd wondered that herself, but she couldn't come up with anything. It was just James. He was fiery on the ice, he was fiery with the media, and he was fiery when it came to her. She just wished he'd channel it better.

"I guess he was just being protective" Ali answered. She thought about what Sid had said in their conversation late last night, about cutting James a break and how Sid would've at least said something to Tony himself.

"James hasn't gotten that angry with you, has he?"

"Oh my god, NO."

"Okay!" Wendy lifted her hands. "I just thought I'd ask..."

Ali was even more pissed. "You honestly think James is like that?"

Wendy shook her head. "I'm sorry, Allison. I just worry--"

"--Well don't, okay?" She stood up. "I need a shower."

Down the hall she went, entering her bedroom and closing the door. James was awake, just lying there staring at her when she walked in.

"Was that about me?" he asked simply.

"Some of it." She went over and laid down next to him. "And some of it was about me."

James sat up on one arm and gave her a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry."

Ali looked at him and saw the close-lipped smile he was giving her and knew he was sorry. She just couldn't understand why punching Tony had been his first reaction. If it was jealousy, she needed him to admit it, so he would think twice about it next time. Maybe.

"Can I ask you something?"

James nodded.

"What made you so angry last night? Like what was the main thing that set you off like that?"

"His attitude, for starters. And what he said about you."

"Were you jealous?"

James laughed. "Jealous? Babe, it's my ring on your finger."

"So then what was it?" She was looking at him seriously. "If it wasn't that, what could it have been?"

He didn't want to admit it was jealousy, even though it was. He would also never admit that it made him sick to his stomach to hear another guy talk about Ali the way Tony did. He was so blunt, and cocky, and so sure of himself. He reminded James of himself, really. His old self.

"I don't know" he said softly. "Guess I just wanted him to know you weren't his anymore."

"He was my boyfriend in high school, James."

"I know that, but....." He sighed heavily, which turned into a groan. "It was just a moment of insecurity."

There ya go. Ali gave him a small smile. "But you should know better than to be insecure about anything with me. Seriously."

"I should, yeah."

He looked at her then with those big eyes and that ridiculous hair and his three day old shadow of a beard and Ali couldn't be mad at him for long. She'd eat whatever opinion the people at the bar had to say about him. She knew who he was, and that's all that mattered. James put her before himself more often than she gave him credit for, and more than anyone else would ever know.

"Can you just never do that again, please?" she asked him.

He chuckled. "I can't promise that."

"Why not?"

"I'll always knock a guy out if he comes at me or my girl."

Oh, James.

"Okay, well just understand this much then, because I think it's important: you have absolutely nothing to be insecure or jealous about. Please." She placed a hand on his cheek. "You get that, right?"

"I do."

"Say it again."

James smiled. "Why?"

"Just do it."

"I do."

Ali kissed him. "I think you need more practice."

* * *

So it wasn't the smoothest trip between the couple, but Ali and James weren't ready to call it a total loss. After their conversation that morning, things seemed to get a little better. The tension slowly drained, and James was able to get Ali to crack a smile now and then through the rest of their afternoon.

Their afternoon had gone pretty well, actually. James thought so, anyway. He joined the Diserelli women for lunch at one of Ali's old favorite restaurants, and he got to learn a little more about her. They didn't run into anyone Ali knew, which seemed to cause Ali to relax even more. The whole time they were out to lunch she kept looking at him as if she was reading his face. He couldn't tell what she was doing, but he smiled as often as he could, and made Wendy laugh as often as he could. It seemed to do the trick.

Once goodbyes were handed out and James had a little one-on-one pet session with Chester, they departed for Pittsburgh. They stopped on the way at Jeff's workplace to say bye to him, and then it was nothing but interstate the whole way home. It wasn't the most talkative drive either, but James didn't want to push it. He was in the wrong, he knew it, and he wasn't about to ruin whatever ground he was making. The most he did was reach over and hold Ali's hand, which she gladly gave him.

"Did you like it?" Ali asked.

"Your hometown?"

She looked over and nodded.

"I did." His eyes lowered to their fingers entwined in each other's. His hand seemed huge and rough compared to Ali's. "It's cool to see where you came from....what made you. Kinda wish I wouldn't have ruined it."

"You didn't ruin it."

"Thanks, but it will go down as the most horrible first time home ever, huh?"

Their eyes met and both smiled.

"Probably wasn't a textbook type of introduction" Ali said, tightening her grip on his hand. "But our story is a little weird anyways, right?"

"I wouldn't say weird..."

"Okay, unconventional."

"That's closer, and that's only because of me. You'll always be perfect."

"Babe." Ali gave him that look that she did whenever she thought he was flattering her. "I'm anything but perfect."

"My opinion trumps yours."

"Does not."

He smiled at her. "You're cute when you're losing an argument."

Ali didn't look at him, but her mouth formed just a hint of a smile, and James knew he was almost home.

"Can I hear some more of your playlist?"

James let go of her hand and dug his ipod out of his coat pocket. "Country music to begin?"

"Whatever you didn't get to play on the way up." Her head turned to him and her smile was out in full force. "Could be just what we need."

He liked where her head was at. Scrolling through the lists, he originally went to the D-Town playlist, but then thought otherwise. Instead, he chose a song that wasn't on the list, but seemed fitting anyways.

He hit play and then waited.

It took Ali a few seconds, but then it clicked. She looked over at him. "Coldplay?"

"Paradise". He reached for her hand again. "Wasn't on the list, but I thought it worked."

She laughed. "My hometown is the farthest thing from paradise."

"Maybe, maybe not...but being with you is."

James smiled at her, finally seeing the Ali he worked all day to see.

* * *
‹ Chapter 69

Notes