The Games We Play

James was right back at it the very next day, his perfect day of relaxation with Ali soon forgotten under the stress of a few new line changes at their next practice. With Kunitz out, James would have to pick up some of the slack, both on power plays and in quicker shift changes, leading to more ice time and longer recoveries.

One night, after their first game without Kunitz, some of the guys went over to his house to see him and check in on his broken bone. Geno, James, Sid, and Dupuis drove over together following the game, finding Chris in bed with his foot propped up on several pillows, a massive splint-type of cast around his calf and foot.

“Shit, Kuni.” James shoved his hands in his pant pockets, sad to see his friend and teammate in such rough shape.

Chris smiled. “Could be worse. Could be the leg, eh?”

That was true, but missing games because of a broken bone of any kind...it didn’t get much worse.

“When’s your surgery?” Sid asked him.

“In a couple days; think it's in the morning.” Chris leaned his head back against the pillows. “Sucks.”

“Stamkos came back in few weeks. So did Scuds.” Geno said, shrugging. “Could be same for you?”

James didn’t see much hope in Kuni’s eyes, even at Geno’s suggestion. Sid looked the most concerned, even more concerned than Kuni did.

“Is there anything we can do?” Sid frowned. “Probably a dumb question.”

“Thanks Sid, but I’ve got it….I guess.” Chris’ friendly smile was always present, even when the prospect of being on IR for most of the playoffs was a major likelihood. “But don’t worry Nealer, I’ll be at that wedding whether they have to roll me in or not.”

James laughed. “I can get you a purple cast, if you want.” He gave him a smile. “Just rest and get better….forget the wedding and forget the playoffs. Just get better, cause we’re gonna miss you.”

“Already do” Dupuis added glumly.

“Lazy cover for you tonight” Geno said. “Didn’t score once.”

That made Chris laugh. “Uh oh….”

James rolled his eyes. “It was one game.”

"See why we missed you?" Dupuis' giant smile appeared as he nodded towards James.

They stayed there and chatted with Chris a little longer, but didn’t want to bombard him, and Maureen needed to put their son to bed sooner or later. So with heavy hearts the guys left, each shaking Kunitz’ hand before they departed. Geno gave him a hug, or as best a hug as he could, then headed out with the others.

Since Sid drove, he had to bring everyone back to the arena to retrieve their cars. As they climbed into the giant Range Rover parked along the street, James leaned forward between the two front seats occupied by Sid and Geno. “You guys wanna come over my place for a bit? Have a beer or two? Ali’s at work until midnight, so it’ll just be us.” He leaned back. “You too, Dupes, but I know you got the kids and all.”

“I would, if not for that,” Dupuis answered. He tapped James’ knee. “Thanks, though.”

“I’m game” Sid replied.

“Me too” said Geno.

Once they all returned and got their cars, everyone headed over to James’ place to decompress a little. Even though they’d won the game against the Islanders, it’d been a close one. A little too close. Everyone had furrowed brows when they went back to the locker rooms and gave their media interviews. Even then it was clear on everyone’s face just how tense it had been.

When James handed a beer to everyone and they piled in the living room, there was a collective sigh among them. Even Sid, a hint of a beard just barely starting to show itself his otherwise flawless complexion, seemed more relaxed just to be somewhere with them to try and come down from the strenuous game.

“Fuck thought. If it’s going to be like this for the next two weeks…?” Sid trailed off and didn’t finish his thought. They all knew what he meant anyways.

Geno picked at the label on his beer. “It will get tougher, but so will we.”

The other two nodded, but said no more. James didn’t have to ask if the others were feeling as weary as he was because he already knew. Flicking the tv on, he flipped to something that would provide some background noise. He found a two random college basketball teams playing, though no one in the room had any interest in the teams, let alone the game.

Sid leaned his head against the back of the chair, staring up at the vaulted ceiling of James’ living room. Never mind the room had changed since the last time he was in it…the time Ali had been sick and called him to ‘talk about things’. He hadn’t paid much attention to anything other than her that night, but he noticed that the room seemed homier. A woman’s touch had definitely been added here and there, making it less of the empty bachelor pad James used to have and more that of a couple’s home.

It’d be nice to have this Sid thought as he downed half the beer, exhaling heavily. “Fuck tonight.”

“Another round tomorrow” James said, draining the remaining liquid in his bottle. “And fuck tonight.”

All three of them sat there like slugs. They stared at the television, but no one was watching. James was worried about Kunitz and if he could really play winger for two lines until they found a better match for Sid and Duper. Geno was thinking about that last goal he scored where he almost knocked himself out against the boards. Sid was staring at the wall blankly, thinking about sleep.

The door in the kitchen opening drew all their attention back to the present. Ali’s heels were heard on the hard floor, then the sound of softly moving feet padding into the living room. All three sets of eyes moved to her as she appeared in the entryway.

“I wondered why there were so many cars outside” she said with a grin. “Nice to see you guys.”

“Same, Ali” Geno said. He pointed at her uniform. “You play secretary for Nealsy?”

James slapped him in the arm, which only made Geno laugh more. “Hiya babe.”

“Hey.” She came into the room further, purposely knocking into Sid, whose one foot was crossed over his opposite knee. “Oh, sorry, didn’t see you there.”

“Good one” he said, smirking. He watched her go over to James in her tight, knee length pencil skirt, her blazer hugging her bust and waist. He’d never seen Ali in her work uniform before. But damn is it a new view.

“Congrats on the win, but what a fight for it, huh?” Ali plopped down on the couch between James and Geno. “You alright after that fall?”

“So-so.” Geno shrugged. “Could be worse. Could be Kuni.”

“We went to see him tonight after the game.” Sid’s normally cheerful face was drawn into a frown, his eyes heavy with sadness. “Shame to see a guy so on top of his game sitting in bed waiting for surgery.”

"Oh no. Surgery?" Ali looked at James and he nodded.

“It’ll speed up the healing process, but it’s still questionable when he’ll return.”

“Damn.” Ali felt terrible. When she first entered the room, she noticed how dismal the mood seemed. She didn’t realize that they’d gone to check on Chris, but it all made sense now. “Well you guys should find something happy to talk about. Surely you have something?”

James smiled at her. Again, she was trying, but he wasn’t sure they had much to cheer them up since they were so exhausted.

“Nealsy bachelor party” Geno said, excitement in his tone. “That's good!"

“Whoa, whoa, we do not have to discuss that right now.” James had completely forgotten the guys would want to throw him a bachelor party. Totally and completely forgotten. But now was not the time.

“Ohhhhh yes we do” Sid chimed in. He sat forward in the chair, the curve of his biceps straining in the sleeves of his light blue dress shirt. “We’re two months from the wedding.”

“We’re two months from the Cup, Sid” James stated flatly. “Don’t act like that hasn’t been the only thing on your mind, too.”

Ali sat between the three of them, watching them argue over where their minds were at. Sid was a shoe-in; he lived and breathed and regurgitated hockey. James was slowly getting that way, at least lately, and Geno bottled it up even though it was very much there.

“It has, but this is huge for you.”

Sid was giving him the same look he gave him on the bench when he was giving direction for the next play on the ice. It was a look James didn’t challenge.

“It is huge” James replied, his hand going to Ali’s thigh. “Obviously.”

“So then where we party?” Geno reached across Ali to knock James in the shoulder. “Huh, Nealsy?”

“I smell Vegas, personally.” Sid winked at Ali, who simply laughed.

“Jesus help us all if you guys go to Vegas.”

Vegas did sound intriguing to James. In all his time in the States, he’d never once been there, but he’d heard enough about it to know what it was about. But still, he wasn’t interested in talking about it that night, especially in front of Ali.

“Whatchya say, Als?” Geno asked.

She met his big eyes and his big smile, full of hope with just a tinge of playfulness. When she met Sid’s stare, it was the same stare she always got: full brown eyes that spoke of nothing but consideration and kindness. When she met James’ stare, however…it was a little different. All she saw was a look of questioning mixed with doubt.

“Why is this my decision?” Ali was mainly posing the question to James. “It’s wherever you want, whenever you want, IF you want…right babe?”

“Right.” James just didn’t know if he wanted to discuss it right now. “Can’t this wait though, guys?”

Sid shrugged, taking a drink of his beer. “Sure. But don’t wait too long. Once we’re deep in the playoffs, that’s all we’ll have time for…and you know that’ll impact your brother as well, right?”

“True. You’re right.” Sid’s always right, because he’s always thinking. James sighed. “I’m all for it, guys. Just…..you guys figure it out together, okay? You know our schedule. Mike can free up his too, I’m sure.”

“We have a break right after the last regular game next week.” Sid said this cautiously, as he was noticing the look in Ali’s eyes as they talked about it more and more.

“Well then it’s settled” James said, a grin appearing on his face. “Next weekend?”

“Who’s coming?” Geno asked.

“Whoever from the team, G. Everyone. No one. Doesn’t matter, right?”

He shrugged. “Guess not.”

All three of the guys looked at one another and smiled.

“So Vegas?” Sid asked.

James nodded slowly. “Sounds like it.”

Vegas indeed Ali thought.

* * *

6 games to go before the end of the regular season, and the Pens lost 2 in a row. It ended their long standing winning streak, which made tension in the house worse for James and Ali.

They worked together as much as they could on wedding stuff, since both the playoffs and the wedding were fast approaching. Ali was freaking out about getting everything just right, while James was freaking out about what he ate, when he ate, how much he slept, how he trained, and how he'd do his entire ramped-up routine on the road. The game was his life, but those final weeks leading up to the playoffs were way more intense than Ali could’ve guessed.

After one of James’ off-day practices, Ali came home from work to find him passed out on the couch on his stomach. His arms were draped haphazardly over the pillow beneath his head, one leg practically leaning off the couch and touching the floor. It was cute despite how messy he looked, and it made Ali smile.

Deciding not to bother him or wake him, she headed into the kitchen to take care of some last minute details on the décor for the reception. It was stupid stuff she really didn’t enjoy planning, but it was a must, nonetheless. She called Brittany and decided to go over a few of the details that remained. They were on the phone for a good half an hour. As they talked, James came out of the living room and leaned his tall body against the door frame. Ali didn’t hear him because she was on the phone, so he waited patiently for her to end the call. When she did, he cleared his throat.

Ali turned in her seat, surprised to see him. “Hey babe! Sleep okay?”

“No.”

“Rough skate?” she asked, concern slipping into her voice.

“Rough skate, rough game, rough life.”

“Oh.” Ali saw James frown. “Okay.”

“Yeah.”

He turned and went back into the living room, which left Ali wondering what that was all about. Probably just droopy and crabby from the nap she thought, and went back to the list of wedding stuff she wanted to knock off. In the living room she heard the tv turn on, realizing James was going to stay up now and not try another nap.

Perfect! I can ask him about these table clothes.

Ali picked up the color swatches she had and went to the living room. James was at least up now, legs spread in front of him, his body slumped against the back of the couch. Only his eyes moved when she came into the room.

She held up two shades of purple cloth. “Which one?”

“Huh?”

“Which one for table clothes?” She shook the one in her left hand. “Personally, I like this one, but I was hoping—“

“—Can we not do this right now?” His eyes went back to the tv and he clicked to a new channel.

Ali stood there, her bubble of wedding excitement popped. “Are you busy right now?”

“Yes.”

“Watching tv.”

“Yes.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “You do realize we have a wedding coming up, right?”

James threw the remote, and Ali jumped a little at the abruptness of it. “No, Allison. I didn’t realize that. Please remind me for the thousandth time.”

A knife, sharp and pointed, went into Ali’s heart. His words cut hard, and the excuse of being grumpy and tired seemed to dissipate.

“Sorry…I didn’t realize tv was more important—“

“—Ah fuck, come on, you know it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” Ali asked loudly. “I know colors and tablecloths and receptions and shit aren’t exactly thrilling subjects, but it needs done!”

“You know what I need?” James stood up. “I need a fucking break from everything.”

Ali stared at him. “What?”

“A BREAK, Ali.”

She blinked, nerve endings starting to fire all through her body. “What do you mean, a break?”

“Just leave me alone for a few hours, okay?” His face was bent with anger. “I don’t care about the wedding right now, I don’t care about what shade of purple everything is…I need to sleep and focus on tomorrow’s game, and that’s it. I can’t worry about this other shit right now.”

”Other shit.” The knife twisted a little harder. “Okay….”

James left the room. Ali remained standing in the same spot, dumbfounded and at a loss for words or thoughts. The sound of James taking the steps up to the bedroom led to the sound of a door slamming behind him.

With a heavy thump, Ali sat down on the plush chair near the entrance of the living room. Hurriedly, she blinked back heavy tears as she looked down at the swatches in her hands.

He thinks our wedding is “other shit” compared to this fucking game.”

Shaking her head, she tried to convince herself he was only upset over their losses. He was only upset because he hadn’t slept well. He was—

He, he, he, he…everything’s about HIM.

Ali threw the swatches on the floor and went into the kitchen. She grabbed her coat, her keys, and her phone and then left.

* * *

Maureen Kunitz opened the front door with a very surprised smile on her face. “Allison! Oh my gosh, it’s so good to see you!”

“Did I stop by at a bad time?”

“You know it’s never a bad time!” Maureen waved her hand. “Come in, come in.”

Ali stepped inside, feeling a bit guilty for just dropping by unannounced. She looked around at the Kunitz’ home for the first time, seeing the wide open archway of the front entrance leading to a spacious foyer, with dark mahogany-colored floors that led off into various rooms.

Maureen led her into their kitchen. It was open and airy and felt very homey, decorated with their son’s various drawings on the refrigerator. The oven was on, cooking something that filled the space with a rich aroma. Ali imagined that whatever it was, it would be damn tasty judging just from the smell.

“So what brings you over to this side of town?” Maureen asked. They were alone in the room, with a small flat panel television hung on one of the walls. Maureen clicked the volume down to give Ali her full attention.

“Well….” Ali had no idea how to start. “First off – how’s Chris?”

“Oh he’s fine, really. Just antsy, you know? These guys.” She rolled her eyes. “If they’re not on the ice, they’re antsy. Especially when it’s this time of year.”

“And especially with an injury, I’m sure” Ali replied. “I was hoping to visit him, too, while I was here…”

“He’d love that! He’s had nonstop visitors since he found out it was broken, and it’s definitely helped his spirit.” At this, Maureen looked a little more closely at Ali, who had been keeping her focus elsewhere. “Although methinks you came for another reason…..am I right?”

Ali’s shoulders sunk. “Yeah. It’s James.”

Maureen adjusted her stance, her body language showing Ali she had her full attention. She smiled at Maureen, glad to have someone to talk to who might know more about this than she did.

“I just don’t understand what his problem is. I KNOW it’s all the games and the end of the season and all….” And there you go making excuses again, Ali.

Maureen nodded for her to continue. “But…?”

“But he just told me he wants a break.” Ali blinked back her tears again. “As in - he doesn’t want bothered with wedding stuff.” She looked at Maureen, whose gaze never faltered.

“Go on.”

“Um…” Ali thought she was finished, but it was uncanny how Maureen saw through it. “Well he told me to leave him alone because the game was all that mattered, and that this other shit wasn’t important to him right now.”

“Other shit?!?” Maureen winced. “Ah, Nealer.” She shook her head. “He probably shouldn’t have said that.”

Ali was embarrassed. She looked away, but Maureen kept her eyes focused on her.

“So what did you say to him?”

“Nothing.” Ali shrugged. “I just left because he went upstairs and told me to leave him alone.”

Maureen held Ali by the arms, forcing her to look at her. “Listen to me, from a hockey wife to soon-to-be hockey wife: this is all they’ve ever known. It’s been their whole life, you know? It doesn’t excuse them for being huge jerks all the time, but they honestly, truly, live for this stuff. And James?” Maureen laughed a little, her smile widening. “Ohhh, I think it’s going to take him just a tiiiiny bit longer to realize there’s more to it than the game.”

The corner of Ali’s mouth lifted into a small smile.

“That does not excuse him though!” Maureen said. “God knows I’ve had my moments with Chris. Sometimes we’ve both walked away from the argument and he still didn’t get it because of his tunnel vision. But you know…over time, he’s gotten better. And when we had our son, it changed things a lot.” She nudged Ali in the side. “Maybe that means if you and James have a kid, he’ll knock it off.”

“Oh my God, please” Ali said with a laugh. “No talk of children just yet!”

“I know, I know, but how adorable would they be? Huhh?”

Ali saw the sincerity in Maureen’s kind gaze and felt a lot better. Maybe it would take James a while, and if it did and they were married, they’d both just have to adjust.

“So what do I do?” Ali asked. “How long does this, I don’t know, this grumpiness go on?”

“Wish I could tell you it had a time limit, Ali.” Maureen leaned back against the counter, pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. “There is none, though. Not that I’ve seen. It’s just part of this life we entered, knowing what they do.”

Chewing her lip, Ali looked down at her hands. She thoughtlessly picked at her nails. “Do you think James meant what he said….you know, about needing a break? Do you think we should call off—“

“—OH MY GOD, no! No, Allison!” Maureen saw Ali starting to cry a little, so she opened her arms. “Come here.”

They embraced in a tight hug, and Ali felt the first tear finally fall down her cheek. “I just don’t know what to do now…”

Maureen felt sorry for Ali. If she thought back to those first few years with Chris, she saw so much of herself in this girl it wasn’t even funny. James was like every hockey player she’d ever met, even before she and Chris were married. She had a few more years under her belt with this sort of thing, and she wished she could somehow tell Ali it would get easier, but she knew it wouldn’t.

“James loves you so much, girl.” She patted Ali’s back, trying to give her the comfort her words couldn’t. “He’s only stressed out and not thinking of anyone but himself. Think of all the years he’s only had to do that, but now…now he’s got this amazing girl and he’s forgetting it’s two of you now, not just him.”

They parted, and Ali wiped wetness from her cheek, feeling even dumber than she did before. “Ugh, you’re right. I’m sorry, Maureen…”

“Don’t be sorry! Babe – this is exactly why we gotta stick together, right?”

Ali nodded, smiling through the tears. It was nice to know she was still part of the Pens family Maureen had once mentioned to her.

“As for what you do now? That’s easy.” She gave Ali a comforting rub on the back. “You hang here with us.”

“Oh, Maureen, I couldn’t—“

“Why not?”

Ali really didn’t have an answer. It’s not like she was in a huge hurry to get back to the house, after all.

“Exactly.” Maureen smiled. “Stay with us for a couple hours, let James cool down…then you’ll both feel better, and you’ll forget all about it.”

“I hope we forget about it.” Ali hugged her again. “Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome.” And Maureen was. It was the first time someone came to her for help in this area, and she was flattered and thrilled she could help.

* * *

Notes