The Games We Play

“He’s been there for two days now” Ali answered Brittany. It was the strangest feeling; Brittany was one day away from coming to Pittsburgh to celebrate with her and the others for Ali’s bachelorette party…but Ali thought Brittany’s voice sounded a lightyear away. Maybe it was Ali who was the one that was far away; she’d felt a disconnect in everything the past couple of days, especially with James gone.

“So is he coming back tomorrow?” Brittany asked. “Because didn’t you say he and the guys were getting together or something on Saturday?”

Ali felt her shoulders slump a little more when she heard this. “Yes, he should be back by then.” And if he wasn’t, she wouldn’t hold it against him. James closed up; this she knew. But Ali feared that the Penguins’ loss would shadow what awaited him in the coming weeks, and that was their marriage.

“Well I can’t wait to see you! This weekend’s going to be a blast. I’ll see to it!” Brittany said with glee. “So I’ll call you when me and the other girls get to the hotel and get situated, then we’ll come pick you up.”

“Sounds good, Britt.” Ali felt herself perk up a little. “Can’t wait to see you, too.”

When the girls hung up, Ali stared at her phone for a while. She went through the same questions she’d been asking herself over and over: Should I call him, or will he eventually call me? Will he just show up? Is he still hurting?

James had called once since he flew to Whitby following the final loss of the season. He left early; hugging Ali so long she thought he might miss his flight. When he got to his home town, he called to tell her he was there, and that he loved her.

After that, Ali heard no more.

To occupy her time, Ali went about readying everything for the bachelorette weekend, making sure to talk to all of her girls before they arrived in Pittsburgh. She cleaned the house, made brownies, ate all the brownies, and then hated herself for eating all of the brownies.

At one point in the past two days, Rebecca had texted Ali, ensuring her that James wasn’t dead and that he was merely hanging out in the house, not going anywhere or really do anything at all. Ali was especially thankful for Rebecca’s support in it all, but she just wanted to make sure James was okay.

Succumbing to her yearning to know, Ali dialed James cell and waited four rings before he picked up.

“Hey babe.”

His voice hit Ali’s ear and her heart immediately jumped at the sound. “How are you?” She could feel the worry spreading across her face as she leaned against the kitchen counter, focusing only on James’ voice and nothing else.

“I’m okay.”

“No really, James. How are you?” Ali waited as there was a pause on the other line.

“I’m better. A lot better.”

She nodded once and smiled. “That’s good to hear, babe.”

“I miss you.”

“I know you do. You’re dealing with a lot right now, so don’t focus on that” she replied, trying to hold back the sad sigh that was desperate to escape. “When are you coming home?”

“Tomorrow…I was going to call you then. I just….” His deep voice trailed off a little. “I just wanted some time, you know?”

Ali knew. It was one of the reasons why she was both worried and yet still supportive, even from afar. She could almost envision the scene in Whitby: James in his sweats, hair not washed for days, his face drawn and pale, and his eyes sad and full. He was likely bumming food from his parent’s refrigerator, finally allowing himself to eat the junk food he tried to stay away from while in the throes of hockey season. Most of all, he probably just slept; locking himself away from having to deal with the pain.

“How are you?” James asked.

“I made brownies” Ali answered glumly. “And then I ate them all.”

James laughed, and it may have been the nicest sound Ali had heard all week. “Piglet.”

“I didn’t have any help.”

“Didn’t seem like you needed any.”

“Hey!” Ali ran her toe along the lines of the kitchen floor tiles, holding back her laughter.

“Piggy piggy.”

“Shut up.”

“I love you” James said. “I do.”

Ali smiled and bit her lip. “Say it again.”

“I do.”

“Good” she replied. “Sounds like you’ve been practicing.”

* * *

James lay in his childhood bed, staring at the ceiling, not wanting to move even though he had to piss so bad that his toes hurt. After he’d spoken to Ali, he lay there with his cell pressed to his chest, his hand resting lazily on top. Even when he heard a knock on the door, he never moved.

“What.”

“It’s me.”

Becca’s voice could be heard on the other side of the door. James closed his eyes and exhaled. “Come in.”

The door opened and James’ sister came in, shutting the door behind her. She stood there staring at him with that matter-of-fact look in her eyes, mixed with plenty of sympathy.

“How long are you going to mope?”

“As long as I want” James responded flatly.

Rebecca folded her arms over her chest. “You do realize you’re supposed to be getting married in two weeks, right? There’s more out there than the Cup.”

James’ eyes flew open, their blue color burning hot. “What the hell do you know about it?”

“Only that you have been lying in your bedroom pouting like a teenager” Rebecca answered. She went and sat on the edge of the bed, purposely shoving James over to allow herself more room to sit. “Mom and Dad are worried. They think—“

“They’ve seen me do this before, Becca. They aren’t actually worried.” James looked over and met her gaze. Since she had her hair pulled back, James could see all of her face, and it looked troubled.

“You’re getting married, Jimmy.”

“I know that.”

“So why aren’t you excited?” Rebecca asked. “Why aren’t you focusing on that? On Ali? When you found her, didn’t you win something better than some stupi—“

“DO NOT call it stupid” James shot back, his voice flaring with anger. “Seriously, sis.”

“Okay, okay…..” She looked down at her hands. “I just think that…”

Rebecca paused, and James turned his head so he could see her full-on. She was struggling to find her words, so James let her do so without interruption. Finally, she sighed heavily and looked up.

“I just think that…of all years, if you had to lose the Stanley Cup, this would be the best year” she said. “Don’t you?”

“I do.” Good. Sounds like you’ve been practicing. Those words had made him smile. It wasn’t like he lost focus of the wedding. In fact, it was the farthest thing from the truth. Every day he thought about the upcoming date and what it meant to his life. But a part of him, the child in him, needed to feel the hurt of the loss of the playoffs. It was part of the routine, as hard as that was to admit. If he didn’t grieve, he’d feel as though his passion was dead right along with the hope of winning the Cup for this season.

James looked over at his sister, who seemed to be waiting for him to say something. “What, Becca.”

She shrugged one of slender shoulders, very similar to the way James often did. “I would just focus on the good in your life. You’ll get more chances at the Cup, but you only get this chance with Ali once.” Tilting forward, she kissed her brother on the head and then went for the door. “Night, Jimmy.”

He waved, watching light from the hallway spilled into the room as Rebecca left the room. When the door closed and the light had disappeared, James lay in the darkness of him room alone once more.

Lifting the phone from his chest, he hit the home button to bring up the picture on his Lock Screen. It was of Ali, smiling and happy, which made him instantly smile. He swiped across the screen to unlock his phone, then went into the depths of his camera roll. Within that were nearly 1500 pictures and videos, dating as far back as two summers ago when life was completely different. He wanted a different girl, he wanted more from his sport, and he wanted more from his life.

Seems I got all three, he thought to himself.

He scrolled through to more recent pictures, leisurely viewing the ones of Ali whenever he saw one. He came to a picture of her looking over her shoulder while outside washing her car in the driveway. She had that half-grin that made him weak in the knees.

James came to another picture, this time of both he and Ali. It was just of their faces; an awkwardly taken selfie while out on the back deck relaxing one warm afternoon last summer.

Rebecca was right.

He stared at the picture.

I won a prize no one else can claim.

Letting his fingers do the work before his brain could catch up, James dialed Ali. She answered the way he knew she would: with a hint of confusion.

“Babe?”

“You busy?” His voice was softer; less fearful as it had been earlier when she called.

“No….”

“Good. Because I have something to say.” He halted for just a second. “…I’m sorry I didn’t win the Cup so we could have it in our wedding photos. And I’m sorry I didn’t win it so I could have it at our wedding, to always remember it by.”

Ali exhaled very quietly. “Oh, James…”

“I know, it’s dumb” he said. “But I was just thinking. You’re the best thing to happen to me, and the Cup takes second seat to the real prize in my life.” He waited, wondering if it sounded as stupid as he thought. It was authentic, and it was real. It was the best he could give her.

“Thank you” Ali uttered softly. “Really.”

“I love you, babe. The next two weeks are about us.”

And it starts tomorrow, he thought with a smile.

* * *

James held his jaw taut as he ran the blade of his electric razor over his beard. The hum of the small motor whirred as his auburn colored hair fell into the sink beneath him. A few passes and he was back to pre-playoff beard status. A few additional passes, and his face was completely clean. Studying it for the first time in two months, James felt a weight lift from his shoulders. Shaving a playoff beard was always a mix of emotions, and this had been no different than any other year.

“Becca!” he called as he washed up around the sink area. “You ready!?”

“Almost!”

Her cheerful voice could be heard down the hallway, which meant she was still in her room. James finished getting ready in the bathroom, gathering his items sloppily and tossing them into his suitcase. He’d opted to wear jeans and a black button-down shirt that was one of Ali’s favorites, deciding to surprise her not just with his shaved beard, but with something other than a comfy t-shirt and shorts to return home in.

Taking one last glance in the bathroom mirror, James ran a handful of water through his hair, vigorously shaking his fingers through its length to get it just right. Once finished, he went down the hall and peered into his sister’s room.

“You all set?” he asked her. She was moving about the room nervously, her blonde hair in a loose ponytail that shook with every movement.

“Yeah…think so….” Rebecca tossed an extra pair of heels into the suitcase, then her hair straightener. “Ugh. Okay. I think that’s everything.”

James watched his sister struggle with her suitcase that had too many clothes and shoes in it to zip. “Aren’t you in town for, uh…3 days?” he quizzed her, a smirk on his face.

Rebecca hadn’t even noticed James shaved that morning. She was so in her head about the bachelorette weekend and making sure she had everything that she barely even noticed James was even standing there. When she finally made eye contact, she gasped.

“Ohmigod.”

James grinned. “Much better, eh?”

“Not really, but at least I can see your mouth now” she teased. “You’ll always be a goofy dork to me.”

She pushed him in the chest on the way out of the room, and James lugged her bag downstairs behind her. Only Debrah was home at the time, so Rebecca said her goodbyes, as did James. Before James could follow his sister out of the home, Debrah placed her hand gently on the shoulder of her oldest son.

“You sure everything’s okay?” Her voice was apprehensive and full of motherly concern. “Because you can stay as long as you want.”

James chuckled. “You know I can’t stay forever, Mom.”

“I know, but a mother can dream, right?” Debrah smiled up at her tall son, who was looking more like himself and less like the depressed little boy she saw walk in the house unannounced just a few days earlier.

James was well aware of what his mother was doing. He knew she was feeling the pressure he was feeling. So much was about to happen in the next two weeks for everyone, and Debrah would get to watch her son marry a girl she and Peter had come to love as their own. It was a heavy reality that hung over the both of them.

“So I guess I’ll see you in a couple weeks” Debrah replied. “Gosh, James…”

“Don’t get weepy, Mom…please?” He set down Rebecca’s suitcase and took his mom in his arms, hugging her tight against him.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out” Debrah uttered into his chest. “In the playoffs, I mean…”

James smiled. “It’s okay, Mom. There’s always next year.”

They parted and James kissed Debrah on the cheek. “You good?”

She nodded and laughed. “Yesss. Just a lot going on these days, you know? Oh, of course you know, what am I even saying…” She waved him off with a laugh. “Get going, James – or else your sister will have your head if she misses the big weekend with the girls.”

Picking up Rebecca’s suitcase, James gave his mom a final smile and then headed out the front door. Within minutes, James and Rebecca were on their way to Toronto to fly back to Pittsburgh together.

*

Ali was out with her bridesmaids to a late lunch at a sushi restaurant downtown Pittsburgh. It was a warm and pleasant evening, so they got a table outside and enjoyed one another’s company on the patio. They’d ordered a giant plate of various sushi rolls, complete with just as many pieces of sashimi, and the sake was flowing. Ali felt like she was floating; she didn’t realize how nice it was to finally get a chance to be around all of her best friends, all at once. It was like old times again.

As Ali devoured another piece of a Hawaiian roll, her phone vibrated in her purse. She felt it against her leg where she’d left it to rest while her and the girls ate, so when she checked to see who’d messaged her, she was beyond excited to see it was James.

Home, and I have a surprise. Also – Becca will be coming to find you guys downtown in a bit.

It was a short and informational text, which wasn’t what she was expecting. Ali assumed James didn’t want to disturb her too much during her lunch out with friends, so she didn’t worry too much about it.

And what a lunch it had been. Ali had met up with Brittany first at the hotel they would all be staying at, waiting as one by one the other girls in her wedding showed up. First was Julie from Denver, one of her dearest friends from college and the reason Ali had met James in the first place. It was their ski trip together that had placed Ali in the lobby of the Hyatt over a year ago when her and James first met. She was a tall, athletic blonde who loved mountain biking and all things “green” and earthy, and became friends from the start.

Second to arrive were Molly and Mary-Anne, both high school friends who had played volleyball and ran track with Ali all four years. Molly had black hair and blue eyes, always a stunner but one of the sweetest girls one could ever meet. Her sense of humor and spontaneous nature made her instantly fun. Mary-Anne also had dark hair, but was on the shorter side and was curvaceous and sassy; the epitome of a loyal friend who would tell it like it is, no matter what.

They, plus Brittany, had made up Ali’s core group of best friends and now, her bridesmaids. The only one missing was Becca, but she was on her way.

Once they were all assembled, it was nonstop chatter and laughs. They had so much catching up to do; not only that, Ali had to introduce Julie to the others, and eventually had to introduce Rebecca to everyone as well. Surprisingly, every one of them got along well, as their personalities were extremely similar. It occurred to Ali that throughout her entire life, she gravitated to the same types of people she called friends: comical, loyal, and just plain fun.

When Becca finally arrived and everyone was officially introduced, Ali pulled Becca aside. “How is he?” she asked, feeling slightly worried at Rebecca’s answer.

“He’s fine. Just a big baby, really.” Becca flashed Ali a bright smile and hoped it would comfort her. “Really, though…he’s okay.”

Ali exhaled in relief. “Good, good. Does he look better than before, I hope?”

Rebecca had to laugh. “What do you mean? Like…has he showered finally? Or…”

“Mostly that, yeah” Ali said, and they both shared a laugh. They knew James and how sloppy he could be at times, and it was a trait they both came to love and deal with in their own separate ways.

In time, the group decided to split up for the evening. Tomorrow was Ali’s party, and Brittany and the girls still had “stuff to get ready”, which left Ali wondering just what was in store for her.

After Ali exchanged hugs with all of them, Brittany led the way back to her car to transport the bridesmaids back to their hotel. Ali got into her SUV and headed home.

What was waiting for her was rather unexpected, and fit the description of a surprise to a T.

“OH MY GOD.”

James stood in the doorway, his grin – which was now much more visible without his beard – was in full force. “Yes?” He feigned innocence, which made Ali giggle even more.

“You SHAVED!”

He rubbed his jaw. “Did I? Is that why I feel a draft?”

Ali hopped into his arms and James gladly accepted her tight embrace. His hands snaked into her hair, which she’d curled for the lunch with her friends, feeling its softness as if he was feeling it for the first time. He buried his nose in her hair, smelling her perfume.

“Let me see, let me see!” Ali leaned her head back, her arms still locked around his back. She rubbed her nose along his cheek and felt the soft, stubble-less skin. Normally, she would be protesting and causing a fit over him shaving…but anything was better than his full playoff beard.

James used this as an opportunity to kiss Ali; giving her even more of a reason to enjoy the lack of facial hair.

“I missed this” she said, her hands going to the sides of James’ face. “I missed your smile.”

“I did too.”

“Are you—“

James nodded. “I am. Let’s just move on from it, okay?”

“Anything you want, babe.”

They kissed again, and Ali made sure to make this one last longer. James opened his mouth and the feel of Ali’s tongue against his was like a faint whisper. He felt himself start to stir beneath his jeans, and the sensation grew further as he felt Ali’s hands slide along his shoulders and down to his forearms, bare up to where he’d rolled his sleeves.

“I want to make sure that smile never disappears ever again.” Ali gave him a playful wink, running her hands down the front of his chest. “I want to make sure you never have anything to be sad about.”

With a sudden yank, James pulled her inside the door, one hand wrapping around her waist. “Then what are you waiting for, Diserelli?”

The door slammed shut behind them, and Ali gave James every reason she could the rest of that evening to never frown again.

* * *

“Another round of shots!” Brittany shouted, waving her hand at the bartender. The other ladies sitting there cheered, but all Ali could do was giggle.

“How many more can I take?” she said, unable to control her laughter. The lights in the club were getting fuzzier and fuzzier as the night progressed, and it was the fourth club they’d been to since there bar crawl started.

“You can take at least one more! Here!” Brittany handed Ali a shot of something that was clear and smelled like rubbing alcohol. “Ladies! Listen up!”

Ali’s friends grabbed their shots and raised their glasses as they waited for Brittany to proceed. Ali sat there, feeling special and embarrassed and tipsy. She watched Brittany with a dumb look on her face, unable to stop smiling.

“I dedicate this shot to the INCREDIBLE SEX our girl is going to have for the REST of her life!” Brittany yelled.

All the girls cheered in unison, except for Rebecca, who had frowned in repulsion. Ali raised her glass high and her smile got even bigger, and she may have even felt her cheeks flush a little.

Brittany turned to Ali and clinked her shot glass against her. “Bottoms up, bitches!”

The ladies downed their shots and Ali felt another slow burn fill her from the inside-out. Brittany leaned over and hugged her. “I love you, girl.”

“I love you too, Britt” she uttered, her smile still plastered all over her face. “But this is all too much!”

“Too MUCH?” Brittany looked appalled. “It’s your bachelorette party! And you’re marrying a fucking Pittsburgh Penguin!”

“Fucking right I am!” Ali exclaimed, feeling the last shot already starting to take effect. “Another shot, dammit! I want to dedicate one!”

Mary Anne did the honors this time, waving the bartender over to their table and ordering another round of shots. When he reappeared with their glasses refilled, Ali took hers and stood up. In black stiletto heels and a form fitting red dress, she very plainly stood out amongst her group of girls, but that had been Brittany’s plan. Ali was also wearing a white satin sash with the words “Future Pittsburgh Penguin Wife” on the front in gold glittered letters, which Brittany had made special for that night. On the back read “Mrs. James Neal”, also in gold glitter.

“I just want to say” Ali began, holding her shot glass up, “that I love you guys, and I am so excited to have you all here, and to have you in my wedding…”

The girls cheered, Julie loudest of all. Her blue eyes focused on Ali and sparkled in the low light of the bar, knowing exactly her place in how Ali and James had all played out. Ali raised her glass at her.

“And I want to thank you to Julie for asking me to get my ass out of Pittsburgh to go do some skiing with her…because we all know what happened!”

Molly leaned over and hugged Julie, patting her on the thigh in appreciation. The others laughed, appreciated the moment.

“But most of all, I would like to dedicate this shot to James” Ali said, and her grin took on a naughty look. “Because holy FUCK did I score or what?!”

“YEAH YOU DID!” Brittany yelled. “Raise it, Raise it!”

Ali lifted her shot glass as high as she could. “To the man with the thickest dick I’ve ever fucked, the prettiest eyes I’ve ever stared at, the hottest FUCKING tattoos I’ve ever seen, and the greatest motherfucking hair I’ve ever ran my hands through!”

“TO JAMES!” Brittany cried, her shot glass lifting to her mouth.

“TO JAMES!” the others echoed, and they drank their shots.

Rebecca, who was too young yet to drink in the States, merely shook her head and tried not to be grossed out by what Ali had just said. Although she had to laugh; if this was how bachelorette parties went down all the time, it made her wonder what hers might be like some day.
Ali shook her head after swallowing that last shot. “Fuck, that’s strong.”

Brittany slid her shot glass onto the table in front of them, as did the others as they finished downing their liquor. She grabbed her purse, and grabbed Ali’s as well. “Let’s go, Ali. We’ve got three more clubs to hit before the grand finale, and we can’t have you getting too hammered in any one place.”

She grabbed Ali by the hand and Ali followed on autopilot. As Brittany retrieved her credit card and paid the tab, Ali looked around and saw the other patrons in the bar staring at her. One woman nearby pointed at her sash.

“Is that a joke?” she yelled at Ali.

Ali shook her head, just as Brittany starting to lead her down the aisle again. “Nope! It’s the real deal!”

When she said this, her friends behind her cheered.

* * *

Notes

O.
M.
G.

Real life has been consuming me!

But I am back and should have tons of time now to see this story through to the end…and the end is near. *sniffle* Thanks for being patient during my mini leave of absence, friends!