The Games We Play

Everyone was in the house but Ali. She was staying with her girls and her family in a hotel close to the wedding venue, while James lay awake in bed alone at 12 minutes past midnight. No matter what he tried, he couldn’t sleep. He drank two beers after he made it back to the house with his brothers and didn’t even feel a buzz, nor did it make him the least bit tired.

He shook his head and chuckled to himself. Probably because I’ve been buzzing all day.

Downstairs, voices could still be heard. Every now and then, Geno’s loud voice mixed with his brother Nick’s would rise and fall, giving James the impression the party was still rolling. Sid and Geno were staying at the house that night as well, so they could all make it over to the wedding together in one limo. James’ mind was too busy to enjoy their company, though plenty of laughter went around his brothers and his two teammates…it’s just that James couldn’t focus much.

He tried closing his eyes and focusing on nothing at all, but all he did was toss and turn to no avail. When his phone vibrated at 20 minutes past midnight, James realized he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep.

A: Are you up?

James felt his rapid heartbeat slow just a fragment. Ali had that effect on him.

J: Yeah. Can’t sleep.

A: I can’t do much of anything but just think.

J: Good thoughts, I hope?

A: You know they are. :)

He wondered if they were the same thoughts he was having, though he figured they were. Every part of his body felt on edge constantly from the nerves and the anticipation for the wedding, and Ali was the worrywart of the pair. Because he knew how nervous she must be, James felt for her.

J: Miss you right now. Sneak through the window, please?

A: Depends on what you’re wearing….

J: My good looks. You?

A: My birthday suit.

James chuffed. He knew that was a lie, but appreciated her efforts.

J: Nice try. Still wish you were here, naked or not. I wouldn’t be so nervous if I could just hold you.

It took Ali a little longer to respond, but when she did, James smiled more than he’d smiled all night.

A: But you’ve been nervous so many times in your life (ahem *hockey*) before I came along, and look at how well you’ve handled it….superstar ;)

And then another text quickly followed:

A: I can’t believe how far we’ve come, babe. I feel like the luckiest girl ever. I’m not sure I’m going to make it through tomorrow. No! Today. TODAY, James.

He could picture her saying it as if she was lying right next to him. If he had half the way with words that she had, he’d write back something that would sweep Ali off her feet or make her feel comforted that there was nothing to be nervous about…but he felt he could do neither. He was just as nervous, and just as stupefied by his luck in this life as she was.

So he wrote the next best thing he could:

J: Thank you for everything you’ve brought to my life, babe. Tomorrow’s not a big deal, really. I figure my life changed the minute I met you. Tomorrow - we just throw the party.

When Ali texted back, James laughed out loud. It was a picture of her, brown eyes welled up with water and her mouth curved down as she tried to smile through her tears. The words Damn you! were written beneath it.

James wrote back a final I love you, and Ali did the same.

A soft knock could be heard on James’ door not long after he set his phone down for the night. Since he still wasn’t even close to being sleepy, he got up and opened the door to see Crosby standing there, shirtless and in a pair of black sweats.

“Wow.” Sid’s eyes widened. “Didn’t expect you to actually be up.”

James shook his head. “Nah, can’t sleep. Apparently neither can you.”

“Just listened to your brother talk CHL drama for an hour” Sid replied, hands going to his pockets. “It was entertaining enough to stay awake. Now Geno’s snoring and I couldn’t fall asleep, even if I wanted to.”

“You can hang in the Insomniac Room, if you want” James said. He left the door open for Sid to enter while he went back to his bed. He fell down with a heavy thump as Sid took seat on the opposite edge. He glanced around, noticing James’ tuxedo hanging on the closet door, pressed and ready to go. Since the door was open, he could see some of Ali’s clothes on the racks: sweaters and dresses and a variety of brightly colored tops. The ideas coming to his mind weren’t helping him to focus, so he brought his attention back to James.

“So…how ya feeling?” he asked him.

“Better.” James smiled. “Ali texted. She can’t sleep either.”

“I bet.” Sid met his keen gaze. “You a little freaked out by all this?”

“Freaked?” James laughed. “Not sure what you mean.”

“Just how…I don’t know, just how this is actually happening, you know?”

That, James could understand. He looked down and away from Sid. “Yeah. Kinda hard to believe, especially after everything….”

The two men looked at one another and an unspoken knowledge passed between them. It had been a long year for Sid and James, what with James’ mistakes and Sid’s secret feelings for Ali clouding a friendship that existed on and off the ice. Sid had done his best, and at the end of the day, had come to terms with his feelings for Ali. She would always have a special place in his life; there was hardly a way he could avoid that. They really did get along well, and Sid always wanted to be there for her, the way he had been in the past year.

Sighing, Sidney gathered his thoughts. “You know, Nealer—“

James lifted a hand. “It’s okay, Sid.”

Sid noticed his friend’s gaze was friendly and his tone was relaxed. This helped his guilt that had been building all day to dissipate a little. “Thanks.”

He nodded. “Should probably get some sleep, eh?”

“Yeah, really. Good luck with that.”

“You, too, Cap.”

Sid stood and gave James a final nod before disappearing from the room, the door closing quietly behind him.

* * *

Ali dreamt she spilled cake all over her dress. Not just spilled…but the cake fell from the table onto her, and ruined the dress. She threw a fit and ripped her gown off and ran through the banquet hall and down the road in a tear, with frosting and cake dripping all over her.

When she woke up from the dream, she sat straight up, eyes wide. Glancing down, all she wore was her “Mrs. Neal” tank top that Brittany had made for her, and panties. No cake, no icing, no gown.

Next to her, Brittany shifted under the covers. “What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes still closed.

“Bad dream.” Ali hugged her knees. “Hope it’s not a sign.” She looked over at Brittany, who flipped onto her side to face Ali.

“What happened?”

“Oh….it was nothing” she said with a chuckle. “A cake dream.”

“Ahhhh.”

Brittany continued to stare at her best friend, her white tank top slightly askew with the glitter letters somewhat twisted around her chest.

Ali glanced over. “Is it really today?”

Brittany nodded. “Today it is.”

She rocked on her toes, arms still encircled about her knees. “What time is it?”

Looking over her shoulder, Brittany caught the glow of the neon digits on the bedside clock. “6:07.” When Ali didn’t respond to this, Brittany grasped one of her hands. “You sure you’re okay?”

She nodded vigorously, keeping her gaze away from Britt’s. “Yeah, definitely.”

As Brittany held Ali’s hand, she could feel it shaking a little. When Ali finally brought her eyes back to meet Brittany’s, they had welled up with water.

“Am I doing the right thing?”

“By marrying James!?!?” Brittany laughed. “You know you are, hun!”

“I know, I know…” Ali rocked back and forth again, squeezing onto Brittany’s hand a little harder now. “It’s just such a huge move, and I really don’t know what to expect—“

Brittany sat up, crossing her legs in front of her, her hand never leaving Ali’s. “You’re going to laugh about this in 12 hours, and do you know why I know this?”

Ali shook her head.

“Because the minute you walk down that aisle and you see him, you’ll forget every ounce of fear….because really, all you’re doing is just walking towards the guy who’s your best friend, right?”

My best friend. Yes. Ali bit her lip and nodded, trying not to speak for fear she’d do nothing but sob. Brittany’s face and tone spoke of nothing but encouragement. It helped to see her smiling, her bright green eyes awake now and full of life and eagerness.

“So reeaaallly” Brittany continued, “all these fears and worries will just up and disappear the second you see him.”

“You’re right.” Ali shook her head of the tears that threatened to fall. “It’s all stupid nerves.”

“They’re not stupid! My God, Ali – do you remember when we were little? How we used to talk about this day…this very day….and how it would play out?”

Ali laughed. “That’s sooo true, too, isn’t it?”

“Yes!” Brittany cocked her head, her black hair shifting over one shoulder. She looked at Ali with all the love she had in her. “And honestly? James is so fucking fine, I’d be more nervous he’d tear me apart tonight when it’s all said and done than worry about the ceremony.”

Ali let out a laughing gasp, shocked and amazed all at once. Brittany shrugged innocently, and then the two girls fell into a fit of laughter. Thankful for the friend she had in Brittany, Ali leaned forward and the two of them hugged one another tightly.

“I love you, Britt” she said, her voice muffled by her friend’s hair. “And thank you for all you’ve done as my Maid of Honor.”

Brittany broke the hug and made sure Ali could see that she was brushing it off. “Pleaaasse. You know I loved doing it. But you know what this means, right?”

Ali looked at her, one sharp eyebrow rising. “No…..what?”

“That YOU owe ME, now.”

“To be your Maid of Honor?” A smirk slowly spread across Ali’s face as she looked at her friend. “You mean, when you and Beau—“

“Noooooooo!” Brittany said with a loud laugh. “That’s NOT what I meant!”

“Uh huh.” Ali nodded. “We’ll see after tonight.”

* * *

James slipped the coat of his tux over his shoulders while his mother straightened it for him. She made sure every last piece of lint or anything that resembled lint was picked off, and James allowed her to do so. She fussed and pulled and straightened and fussed some more, all while James watched patiently.

“I think I’m good to go, Mom.”

Debrah smiled, brushing her son’s shoulders off one more time. “You might be, yes…”

She went to button his jacket, but James stopped her. He clasped her hands in his, holding them gently. “You are too. You know you are.”

This was all it took for Deb to loose it. Very slowly, the tears that had been pricking at her eyes had finally released. They ran down her cheeks, even as an embarrassed smile came appeared. “Oh see now, look what you made me do…”

James wiped the two tears that had trickled down her face, then pulled her into his arms. He rocked her gently, his head resting on hers. “I’m not going anywhere, Mom.”

Debrah nodded into his chest. “I know, hunny.”

Holding her out, James looked into the bright eyes of his mother…the same eyes he had inherited, the ones that hurt to look at the emotion that was so heavy in his mother’s eyes. “Thank you.”

“What for?” She sniffled, still embarrassed to be crying the way she was.

“For raising me.” James shrugged a corner of his mouth. “You know…for everything. For getting me here.”

Deb pressed her lips together and sniffled, nervously wiping at her nose. “I just tried to make you happy.”

“You did” James said with a smile.

With her hands, Debrah did one final straightening. She gently pressed the lapel of her son’s coat, hanging on to the fabric in a gesture that really spoke of her wanting to hang on to her baby boy.

“It’s time for another woman to make you happy now” she said, wiping at another stray tear.

James nodded. “She did.”

* * *

All five girls gasped.

“Oh my god.” Molly’s mouth was hanging open in awe. “Ali….”

Julie was shaking her head, her arms folded over her chest. “I knew this would be good, but I didn’t think it was going to be this good.”

Brittany went around the back of Ali and straightened her train, fluffing at the fabric and primping here and there to make sure she looked the best she could.

Ali exhaled hard, pushing out a whole new set of butterflies that were fluttering around inside her. “Good choice?”

“GOOD CHOICE!?!?” they said in unison.

Rebecca couldn’t hold it in. She shuffled over in her dark purple gown and threw her arms around Ali. “You look so beautiful!”

Ali held on to James’ sister as tightly as she was holding onto her. “Thanks, Becca.”

“No, for real. You look like the perfect princess.” She parted, taking a second to play at the ends of Ali’s hair. It was done in long waves with the sides pulled back, pinned in place and adorned with tiny purple flowers. A tasteful sheer veil hung partly down her back, but did not block the view of the ornate details of her bodice.

Gazing around, Ali saw five sets of eyes all staring at her, complete with five sets of smiles. The cloud she’d been floating on seemed to have taken off again, alighting her into the dreamy state she seemed permanently fixed in.

“I think I’m ready” she said. “Where’s my mom?”

“I’ll go fetch her.” Mary Anne grabbed the ends of her gown and headed out into the hallway where Wendy and Jeff were waiting.

Brittany stepped forward. “Can’t forget these.”

Ali took the colorful bouquet of flowers: a mix of pinks, purples, whites, and greens; the same bouquet she shared with all her girls, only theirs were smaller bunches. Ali looked down and saw that the flowers were shaking.

Wendy came in and gasped, just the way the bridesmaids had. Her hand went to her chest, brown eyes wide. “Allison…”

“Hi Mom.” Ali smiled and held out the bottom of her dress and posed. This made her mother laugh, and the pair met in a warm embrace.

“My baby girl” she whispered, holding Ali tight. “My little baby girl.”

“Stop it or else my make-ups a goner” Ali teased. Even though her insides felt like jelly and her knees felt like they would give out at any second, she was holding it together as best she could. “I at least need it to last until I get down the entire aisle.”

The girls all circled around as Wendy took a step back to admire her daughter. Her slim figure, long hair, and the dress…it was all too much. Eventually the tears came for Wendy, but Brittany was right there with a tissue.

“Thank you.” Wendy laughed through the tears. “I just can’t believe it’s happening.”

Neither can I, Mom, Ali thought to herself.

“One final thing” Brittany said, pointing towards the floor. “Do you have them on?”

Ali smiled. “I do.”

“Good.” Brittany turned to the others. “And do we all have them on?”

The others lifted the hems of their dresses to reveal black and yellow heels. When Ali saw them, she lifted her hands over her mouth as she busted out laughing. “They look GREAT!”

Brittany was beaming proudly. “Alright ladies – our girl needs to get married.” She turned and took Ali’s hand in hers. “Ready?”

Ali nodded. “Ready.”

* * *

Of the 600 people invited to the reception, 200 of them were invited to the actual ceremony. Every seat was taken by either a friend or a family member of James Neal or Allison Diserelli. Each one of them sat waiting in anticipation; looking back at the entrance of the aisle for a sign of any of the bridal party.

James stood behind the trees, his heart pounding harder than any practice or any game he’d ever played in. His hands shook, so he kept them in his pockets. He paced slowly, reciting his vows over and over in his mind for fear he’d stumble and mess them up.

Behind him his groomsmen stood, though most of them stood quietly now. The chatter and chirping that ensued leading up to this moment had settled into an anxious silence. They knew how close they were now. Any minute, the pastor would call for them. All they waited on was Ali.

James rubbed his mouth, feeling the stubble he’d left to grow just for Ali. Distracting him from his thoughts was Sid, who came over holding a small mirror.

He handed it to James; his broad grin emerging. “Thought you might want this.”

Letting out a small laugh, James took the mirror, not bothering to even argue. “Thanks, Sid.” He checked his hair one more time, running his hand through its dark length. Handing it back, he patted Sid square on the shoulder. “Thanks again.” What James truly meant by this, Sid understood without anymore being said. Twice, Sid had rescued him. Twice, Sid had smoothed over his mistakes. Despite any tension that may have existed for a short time, James really did have Sid to thank.

Sid nodded. “You got it.”

“Gentlemen.”

James and the others turned towards the pastor, who’d come around the trees to the grounds where the men stood waiting.

He raised his hands, his friendly face lifting. “It’s time.”

* * *

James clasped his hands in front of him, gripping both his wrists tightly to keep them from shaking in front of the giant crowd gathered there.

He stood alone at the head of the aisle, watching as the first of his guys and the first of Ali’s girls stepped onto the aisle.

Jesus Christ.

Shifting feet, James stood taller. Down the aisle came Julie and his Pete, walking slow and eyeing those sitting closest to the aisle. From where James was, all he saw were smiles upon smiles. Many he recognized, many he had yet to meet. They looked at him, then back at the aisle and Mary Anne and Nick.

James felt his heart beating so fast he felt sick. Hold it together, Neal.

Next, Molly and Geno appeared. When the guys in the audience who knew Geno saw him, a few clapped. Being the character that he was, Geno pointed at a few of their friends in the audience. Molly was a good sport, holding back her giggles but smiling the entire walk down the aisle.

The small amount of comedic relief helped James relax slightly, but when he looked and saw his sister and Sid appear, a lump caught in his throat. Becca kept her eyes on him the entire walk, her smile never wavering.

Looking good, Bec, he thought with a smile. He gave her a wink, and she winked back.

Lastly, Brittany and Mike appeared. Her arm linked in his, grins on both their faces, they made their slow procession down the aisle. James spotted his parents in the front row. His dad was smiling at him, proud as ever. His mother, still tearing up with every minute that passed, kept her focus on Mike.

And then, as the music rose louder into the air, the 200 people sitting now stood.

James felt his entire body go numb. As the crowd turned to face the bride, James took a step forward…and his breath was caught in his throat.

* * *

“Daddy.”

Jeff looked over at his daughter, feeling her arm clench against his. “It’s okay, pumpkin.”

“Hold tight, please.” Ali heard the music become louder, signaling it was finally her time to walk. She glanced up at her father, his face calm and perfectly normal. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Allison.”

She took the first step this time, pulling her father gently with her. Every memory from the past year and a half flashed before her eyes as she took the second step, approaching the aisle.

Setting her gaze forward and holding strong, Ali made the third and final step that would bring her into view of the entire crowd gathered there.

When she did so, her heart stopped. So many eyes. So many faces. So many smiles.

But there was only one she focused on.

When she saw him for the first time, standing there in his tux, it was just as Brittany had said: all her nerves disappeared. Waiting for her at the end of that walk was James, with his same crooked smile, his same perfectly messy hair, the same look in those blue-green eyes she’d come to love and adore. He stood there looking at her the way he had when they first saw one another in Denver; the same way he looked at her when he was on one knee in the snow, water dripping from his hat.

He gave her a nod, and it was all Ali needed.

She took the next step and never looked back.

* * * * *

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The End.
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Notes

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Not going to lie - I had tears writing the end of this. What a labor of love! And who do I have to thank? All of you: the readers. My supporters and newfound literary/hockey/fanfic friends. For all your hilarious and thought provoking and supportive comments that made me laugh the entire way through writing this: I thank you most of all.

This all started as an experiment to see if I could do something like this, because I've read so many good pieces on here, and they were all inspiration for me to try writing. Hopefully, aside from all else, I have inspired someone out there to try it out themselves.

This is only the end of the first installment, friends. Remember! Another one is on its way. :)

One more final note: An Epilogue to this story will be posted in the coming days, and will serve as a hint to the sequel. It will be "Chapter 93", but will function as an epilogue.

Thank you all again SO much. Love and hugs.
-- Winter