Colder than ice

Once we got back in Chicago I could feel my nerves going crazy. I couldn’t help but wonder how Jon would react to me telling him. When we stepped in his apartment I could feel my heart racing. I let Jon close his door then I turned to face him.

“Jon…”

A sudden look of concern came over Jon’s face.

“Amy what’s wrong?”

“I need to tell you something about my past.”

“Amy what is it.”

I looked at him straight in the eye and told him about everything that happened while I was in Russia. I watched his face as he tried to process it through his head. The look on his face was almost painful for me to look at.

“Amy why are you telling me this?”

I was taken aback from his question. It was obvious, or at least obvious to me, that I felt guilty about keeping this huge part of my life from him.

“I feel guilty about not telling you this huge part of my life.”

His face became the solid serious, like when he was angry at Kaner in a game or someone else on the team.

“Amy. There has to be more than you just felt guilty for not telling me. What happened in Pittsburgh when you went and saw Rose?”

“I got reminded of Russia. That’s what happened.”

I could feel tears well up in my eyes as I thought of Russia. I felt terrible for not telling him while we were in Sochi, but both of us were busy and there wasn’t much time to talk. I could tell Jon wasn’t convinced that was all that I wasn’t telling him.

“What did Evgeni do to make you came back to the US.”

I felt my jaw clenched. I hadn’t even mentioned that he had proposed to me and I got scared.

“Do you really want to know Jon?”

“Yes.”

I looked in his serious dark brown eyes and sighed.

“He asked me to marry him. I was scared so I left.”

Jon seemed to be taken aback from my answer. He looked down at the ring on my finger with a questioning look.

“Why’d you say yes to me then?”

There was pain in his eyes which made me feel like shit. I didn’t exactly know how to explain my feelings towards him, but I knew for a fact that I loved him.

“Because I love you Jon.”

He gave a weak smile and I walked over to him and hugged him as tight as I could without hurting myself.

“Amy?”

I looked up into his soft brown eyes that were looking at me.

“Yes Jon?”

“I love you too.”

I smiled and kissed him. I was glad that the conversation about my past hadn’t gone as bad as I had thought it would’ve.

Notes