“So, do you get to be in The Nutcracker?”

Carissa. That was her name. The person who was asking the question. Kris’ new…friend. Actually, she preferred Rissa, as she’d kindly informed us. I hated her already. Mostly because I didn’t actually hate her. I’ll admit that I judged her based on the fact that she was one of the girls Kris had talked to at the club, the one Mitch danced with when I was dancing with his brother.

But 15 minutes into the double date with Rissa, Kris, Luke, and myself—the one Kris suggested about two weeks ago—and I hated her for being a completely nice, normal girl. She was friendly and likeable. She wasn’t sarcastic. She was basically the opposite of me, right down to having dark hair and hazel eyes. If she was any indication of Kris’ type, well, my cause was useless.

Jesus Christ, help me out a little, would you?

“Yes,” I finally replied. “But the auditions and rehearsals for that production won’t be for a while.”

Whenever I met new people, there were always follow up questions once I revealed my profession as that of a ballet dancer. Not many people outside the dance world knew cold hard facts about the secret lives of bunheads.

“Do you expect to have a big role?” Rissa asked. “Like Clara or the Sugar Plum Fairy?”

I chuckled. “No. One of students from the National Ballet Academy will be chosen to be Clara, and the Sugar Plum Fairy is always a principal dancer. I’ve been Clara before when I was younger, as a student. I’d need a lot more experience before I’d even get consideration for the Sugar Plum Fairy. I’ve been one of the Snowflakes the last two years.”

“Aw,” Luke chimed in, “can I start calling you ‘Snowflake’ from now on?”

“Do you like it when people tell you to ‘use the force, Luke’?” I replied, my voice full of venom.

He wrinkled his nose. “No.”

“Well there’s your answer,” I responded.

Luke shrugged as our cold drinks arrived at the table. Once again, we were out in Toronto and it had to be somewhere that the guys weren’t likely to get noticed. We were far from downtown but in the other direction of Etobicoke. Luke had two hockey seasons worth of living in Toronto under his belt, so he knew all the right spots to go to. We were at a bubble tea café in Scarborough.

The ambience was nice. Every table was a booth with a low bearing globe light. There was a mezzanine level, but it was completely unoccupied for the time being – probably a cool spot to host an intimate birthday party. All of the orders of food that came out were served on square, plain white dishes. My own drink was in a beer pint glass, tapioca pearls sitting on the bottom, and a big purple straw emerging from the surface. I definitely wouldn’t have expected to see a hockey player there. I didn’t even realize Luke would have his drink order down pat, much less know what bubble tea was.

“So wait,” Kris spoke, “are you saying you don’t take every opportunity to use lines from the Star Wars movies and make them suggestive? With the name you have?”

I took a sip of my drink—mango passionfruit—and glanced at Luke beside me. He was distracted, his palms downturned to his jeans. “To be honest, I haven’t seen all of them.”

“Seriously?” The look on Kris’ face was perplexed.

Luke felt over his pockets and then hovered over the vinyl seat momentarily as he reached in both of his back pockets. He dropped his wallet on the seat in the space between us as he answered, “I’m 20, dude. I didn’t have the same 90s experience as you.”

“Aw,” Rissa cooed and touched Kris’ arm, and my heart rate rose when she left it there and he didn’t move away, because I was so jealous. “They’re 20. They’re just kids. How adorable.”

Actually, I was 21. Luke had adamantly made sure I knew he was less than two months away from the same age even if he was a baby face. Maybe it was the whole hating her just because she existed thing, but it wasn’t like Rissa and Kris were much older than us anyway. I’d known him for more than half of my life. Obviously I knew his exact age and date of birth.

But instead of correcting her about something that wasn’t a big deal (I was just jealous, after all), I brought my attention back to Luke. His gaze shifted back and forth between his lap and the seat. He looked confused.

“Hey,” I said. “Are you okay?”

“I think I forgot my phone in the car,” he answered, looking up at me with those grey eyes of his. “But I don’t remember taking it out of my pocket.”

“Oh. You want to go get it?” I asked. Luke had the inside spot on our side of the booth, so I was blocking him in.

“Yeah. Sorry. I…” he trailed off. After a pause, he posed a question. “Can you help me find it?”

“Sure.”

Luke’s footsteps followed me down the path leading back to the entrance. A chime attached to the door sounded as I pushed it open and walked through the threshold. I didn’t look back at him and we didn’t speak until we were outside, but I knew he was behind me because I could see the reflection of his solid red shirt in the reflection of the glass. Like any other typical September night in Toronto, the air was humid and breezy.

He fell into step beside me once we were off the sidewalk and onto the asphalt of the parking lot. I didn’t question why he needed my help before we left the table. You see, Luke and I had settled into a rhythm since meeting each other. In our roleplaying, we appeared solitary in front of Kris. Luke always had a plan. I suspected that this time was no different.

“Did you really leave your phone?” I wondered.

His vehicle wasn’t parked too far from the entrance. The black Escalade was shiny, and not overly fancy with obnoxious spinner rims or anything like that, but the Cadillac did look out of place in the lot of mostly Japanese makes. Scarborough wasn’t exactly known for being the nicest part of town. A dimpled smirk appeared on his face as he unlocked the doors with the press of a button on his keychain. “I left it,” he admitted, “but on purpose.”

After walking around to the passenger side and pulling the door open, I answered, “I don’t get it.”

Luke’s cellphone was in plain sight, in one of the cup holders of the middle console. With his long reach, all he had to do was reach over the driver’s seat to get it. He grabbed it quickly, and I opted not to trouble myself climbing into the large SUV. I was a pretty small girl, and when he’d picked me up for the double date, I felt like I was about to go on a trek in a Humvee.

“I figured that we should come out here if things are going really bad,” Luke told me. “Or really good.”

“Okay…well…” I was still confused and we’d only been on our date for 20 minutes, tops. Could it be anything other than bad if he was pulling me outside so early? “How do you think things are going?”

“They’re going good!” he proclaimed. Luke wasn’t entirely the ‘smart’ hockey player that he had claimed to be the night I met him. If he was, he would know to use well instead of good. “Steeger seems totally uncomfortable. He’s not really into that chick, you know. She’s just a distraction.”

We were both standing near the tail light on the driver’s side of the Escalade when I spoke again, “They seem kind of cozy.”

“Okay, we are pretty cozy,” he snorted. “He keeps looking at you. And he ain’t looking at me the way he’s looking at you. There’s no way he isn’t into you.”

“You think so?” I asked hopefully as we took a few steps toward the entrance to the café.

My date took my elbow and pulled me a few steps off course to the right. He turned me around, so that I was facing him, our shoulders square to each other. Luke titled his chin, peering down at me. “Trust me, Snowflake.”

“Tell me what we’re really doing out here,” I replied.

“Well, I can see Steeger in the window from here.” Luke fastened his arms around my waist. “Once he starts to wonder what’s taking so long, he’ll see us out here, too.”

Ah. It clicked with me: he wanted us to show off.

“Your dedication to this project is impressive, Luke,” I spoke and moved my elbows so that they were on top of his.

His eyes remained fixed on the window while he laughed at my remark, and then he responded, “I might kiss you.”

“Okay,” I nodded quickly, though he wasn’t looking at me.

Since that night at the club before I got into the cab, Luke had kissed me a couple of times, always when Kris was around. It wasn’t surprising and it didn’t do anything to conflict with my emotions. It wasn’t a chore either. Kissing a very cute Luke Schenn wasn’t something to complain about.

“I might put my tongue in your mouth,” he added.

“Wait, wha—”

Too late. Luke’s lips were on mine in an instant. When I closed my eyes and grabbed the back of his neck, my lips parted and his tongue followed, brushing up against my own. I pulled back for a second as I got my footing right and he tightened his grip on my waist. The double date was much more casual than the night at the club, and without my strappy heels, I had to stand on my tiptoes to kiss Luke easily. I had to stop myself from moaning when he ran his tongue along the inside of my bottom lip.

Did I mention that Luke was a fantastic kisser?

Kissing him was nice. It wasn’t sloppy or suffocating. Up until that point though, I’d never had his tongue in my mouth, and it was a pleasant surprise. The only bad thing about it was that it made me feel like I was sixteen again. I felt a little bit tingly after.

In the dark parking lot, his eyes looked more like a silvery green than their usual grey when he was peering down at me once our mini make out session ended. When he flashed his lopsided smile, I leaned in once more and placed a kiss on his perfectly crooked nose. He pulled me into a hug against his chest and I inhaled the mixed fragrance of laundry detergent and his cologne. Since my back was to the windows and entrance of the restaurant, I didn’t know if our make out session had garnered any attention or if they were just empty kisses. Well, they were empty kisses anyway. But they were supposed to be empty with a purpose.

With my cheek pressed to the cotton of Luke’s collared shirt, I wondered, “Do you think he saw?”

“Definitely. He’s looking right at us and he looks kinda pissed off,” Luke informed me. “I guess we should go back inside.”

When we returned to the table, we slid right into the booth. I didn’t hesitate to scoot as close to Luke as possible and he didn’t hesitate to put his arm around me and squeeze my shoulder.

“Oh, you two,” Rissa smiled sweetly.

I played along perfectly, smiling back at her. Then I smiled at Kris. Or tried to, anyway. He didn’t make eye contact with me. He was looking vacantly at his drink, and just as Luke had said, he didn’t look too happy. Kris didn’t meet my gaze for at least another five minutes as the conversation at the table resumed.

But I noticed the way he looked at Luke. The looks were laced with a little anger and maybe even a hint of jealously. Maybe he was even more obvious than I had been when Rissa held his hand. And for that, I knew I owed Luke. I knew that I loved him (not that way) forever and more, too. Our game might be dumb and obnoxious, but it was working.

---

Another weekday morning, another knock at the front door by Kris. To be fair, it was polite of him to actually knock instead of just barging in whenever he wanted to. I knew Gavin had given him a key. This time, instead of standing in the doorway, I didn’t wait for Kris to follow once I’d held the door ajar for him. It was still early. I hadn’t gotten around to starting breakfast yet. I was still getting ready, working my hair into two tight French braids for the full day of ballet ahead. Being a bunhead by trade didn’t necessarily mean I had to have my hair in a bun for each day of company class and rehearsal. It just had to be out of my face.

“Good morning, Sunshine!” he greeted cheerfully.

My response was more monotone. “Morning.”

“You just about ready to walk out the door?” Kris asked.

“No,” I answered as I tied off the second braid. “I haven’t eaten yet.”

That brought a smile to his face. “Perfect. I haven’t eaten yet either. Come on, let’s have breakfast! I’ll drive you to work!”

I rolled my eyes, knowing the undertone of an ulterior motive. “You just want to show off your new car downtown—beyond the Air Canada Centre—don’t you?”

“So is that a ‘yes’ to free breakfast that I’m hearing right now?” Kris had already lifted my packed dance bag from the chair at the kitchen table I’d set it on earlier. I got the feeling breakfast wasn’t actually going to be my choice.

Over the weekend, Kris had picked up his new prized possession from the Audi dealership: the vehicle of Ironman himself, the Audi R8. The night before, Kris and Gavin had gone out “roleplaying” as they liked to call it. It wasn’t the same kind of roleplaying that Luke and I had gotten into. Basically it meant that the two of them drove down Lake Shore Boulevard slowly, windows down, with Kris at the wheel flashing his fancy watch on the exterior of the door. Boys will be boys, as the saying went.

But in the underground parking structure, being up close and personal with the car, I totally understood the fuss. It was damn sexy. Too sexy for 7 in the morning. A headache quickly formed in my temple before we ever sat down to eat. The combination of Kris driving so fast, the smell of brand new leather, the Bose bass vibrato, and my natural state of being uncomfortable around him made me feel queasy. I was happy to escape the confines (though being a luxury sports car, it was quite roomy) of the vehicle when we pulled up to Cora, a chain breakfast and lunch diner.

My shoulders slumped and I felt awful when Kris excused himself to go to the restroom once we’d placed our orders. The end game plan was to get him to admit he liked me and, hopefully, to date him. But how was that ever going to happen if I couldn’t even function like a normal human being around him? I couldn’t do or say anything without thinking about what he was thinking about me.

Taking the phone from my pocket and navigating to the call log screen, I tapped the screen to dial the first contact listed. The name appeared more than once, descending down the screen. It seemed all my calls were to the same person lately.

Four solid tones rang. I was almost certain my call would end up being directed to voicemail but the final ring was cut short, followed by a long pause, and then, “lo?”

“Hi, Luke,” I greeted. I’d hoped he would pick up, and just my luck, he did.

He groaned. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“I know that I’ve been awake for an hour.”

“Well I’m not on ballerina time,” Luke huffed, still half asleep. “Summer workouts are over. It’s training camp. I don’t have to wake up to work out early. I work out when I get to the rink. You are seriously cramping my style here.”

“Sorry,” I apologized quickly. “Listen, I need your help.”

“Kaylie, are you in an absolutely life-threatening situation that will send you to your death bed?” he asked, unamused.

“Well…not really.” Actually, to be honest, I might not make it through the morning with Kris if I was just going to doubt everything about myself. “Depends on how you look at it.”

“Again, do you know what time it is?” Luke sounded annoyed.

I began my case, “I’m at breakfast with Kris and—”

“Stop right there,” my partner in crime cut me off. “You are out—at an eating establishment—with Steeger?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that halfway to being what you want from him? How can there be a problem!” he exclaimed.

It was different when I didn’t have Luke beside me in front of Kris. Luke was my point of confidence. But all alone, I was right back to where I started.

“I need you to give me the upper hand here. You’re Team Kaylie, right?” I sighed. “Give me advice on how to make this…you know…not awkward. How should I act?”

On the other end of the line, Luke cleared his throat. “I’m going to tell you one thing that is going to make you unhappy and then I am going to hang up. You ready?”

“No, Luke, I really think—” My incomplete sentence was ended abruptly, partly because Luke groaned again out of frustration and partly because Kris was in my line of sight, strolling back towards our table.

“Stop acting, Kay,” Luke advised. “That’s your problem. Be yourself. I’m going back to bed. I’ll call you later.”

Seriously? Be yourself? That wasn’t helpful at all.

The line went dead and my phone auto-ended the call. Kris reached the table and pulled back his chair. “Was that Schenner?”

“Yeah.” I raised an eyebrow. “How’d you know?”

Kris shook his head as he sat down. “I know you well enough to know that that’s who you’ve been spending all your time with.”

“I see you about as much as I see him. You see him way more than I do.”

“Sure,” Kris shrugged, “but he’s been playing a different kind of hockey with you than he plays with me.”

Tonsil hockey, he meant. I smirked before taking a sip of my orange juice. “We have fun together.”

Kris spoke again, a deadpan look on his face. “Are you in love with him?”

I nearly choked on my orange juice. “Are you joking?”

He was that kind of guy, after all. Wasn’t that why he deadpanned, for a shot at a different kind of humour? He was always goofing around, singing, and making light of every situation. Kris was the absolute last person I would expect to ask me that, unless he was kidding. But I didn’t see even a hint of a twinkle in his baby blue eyes.

“Why would you ask me that?” I wondered. “I’ve known him for, what, a few weeks? It’s not even serious.”

“Do you want it to be serious?” he inquired.

“Kris,” I frowned, “I don’t understand where this is coming from.”

“I’m just trying to figure out if I have something to worry about,” he responded.

“We hang out. Whatever. It’s just fun.” I answered. “Why would you have anything to worry about?”

“You could get hurt,” Kris said, looking me straight in the eye. “You’re not the only one who knows how to play the game.”

I forgot to keep overanalyzing our interaction as he spoke. He understood what I meant about fun with Luke. He knew there was a game being played, and he had his own idea of how I was playing. Instead of thinking about whether I was being too obvious that I liked him, I listened carefully to what he was saying. It was half threatening and half warning.

“Just make sure you know how to play the game,” Kris went on. “Don’t underestimate him or anyone else. Anybody can beat you at your own game. Always remember that.”

A pang struck in my chest, set off by his words. He wasn’t using the right words but he was telling me something important. He wasn’t just talking about Luke and me. He was talking about himself, too. On the surface, he was saying that Luke was going to leave me high and dry. He was saying that I was going to get caught up in the way Luke and I treated each other. But that wasn’t what he meant. It wasn’t Luke, it was him—it was Kris—that was fucking with my head.

Luke might be right, I realized. If Kris didn’t know or didn’t think I was looking, he would show interest—he didn’t like Luke and me together. But one on one, I didn’t matter to him that way. To my face, he acted as just a concerned older brother figure. Kris and I might be a lot more like each other than I thought. If there was any chance he liked me, it was his intention for me not to know about it.

I was trying to play Kris and Kris was trying to play me.

Notes

Uh oh, Kaylie...looks like you could be playing a dangerous game.

Thanks to everybody for reading. I'd love to know what you think of this one.

Extended Chapter Notes