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The Longest Time

Eight

“For the record, I don’t do that…often,” I looked across the bed at James who was leaning against the wall with his arms behind his head.
“It’s none of my business if you do,” he chuckled and turned his attention from the TV to me. “I’m just glad you found the clouds.”
“Shut up,” I tossed a pillow in his direction, it missed, landing on the floor across the room.
“It was cute,” he turned to face me. “You were very enthusiastic.”
“They were pretty unreal, like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.” I looked passed him and remembered the dreamy trip that had brought me to where I was.
According to James I managed to tell him Leo’s address after a few minutes of explaining the textures in the air. At my request he drove across the city to lay in a pile of dirty laundry with me, laundry that I swore were pink clouds taking us on an adventure. He lay listening to me until the clouds started to fade away and I wanted to find a better land. That land was his bed where we lay with my head on his chest until I came back to the real world around five in the morning.
“That’s because they weren’t real,” he laughed and patted my leg patronizingly.
“So disappointing,” I sighed and rolled onto my side so I was facing him. “Thank you for coming, you didn’t have to do that. I would have been fine.”
“I know,” he rubbed his forehead, still smiling. “I did go to like, save you. I went because I wanted to. I like being around you, Colbie.” I could see the blush rise on his cheeks and he avoided my startled gaze. I must have been mistaken, it must have been the left over LSD in my system. There was no way James Neal had just said, out loud, that he liked being around me. There was nothing inherently wrong with me, but I couldn’t see why anyone would want to hang around me, especially not someone who could be around anyone they wanted.
“You wanna say something?” he nudged me with his knee and chuckled nervously. The shock of his confession had left me speechless.
“What should I say?” I asked nervously chomping down on my lower lip. The skin was already cracked from the cold weather and my post drug trip dehydration.
“I don’t know? Maybe that you like being around me?” he smiled anxiously and reached for my hand, grasping the tips of my fingers loosely.
“I thought that was obvious…” I watched his bright eyes studying my face. His jaw and cheeks were covered in a spattering of auburn whiskers.
“Just because you call a guy the beautiful sun doesn’t necessarily mean you like him.” He rolled over so our faces were less than a foot away from each other, his fingers laced between mine with our hands resting on my hip.
“Maybe not around these parts, but where I come from that’s a regular mating call,” I teased and leaned in closer to him.
“You invite all the guys to your pink clouds?” he smirked which sent a wave of tingly aflutter in my stomach.
“Never,” I nibbled on my lip and shook my head slowly. “Those rig pigs have nothing on you.”
“What about certain acid dropping boyfriends?” I could see him holding his breath waiting for my reassurance.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I feigned innocence and bat my eyelashes at him.
“I think you should dump the pylon,” his voice shook slightly and he squeezed my hand.
“Why?” I pushed. I liked having him on edge.
“Because I can’t rightfully kiss you when you’re dating another guy.” There was only a few inches between our bodies and I wanted to close the gap between us desperately. My body felt electric being so close to him, goosebumps on the surface of my skin and pangs of arousal shooting through me. I could smell his warm cologne and the unspecific but enticing aroma of man.
“I’m not actually dating him,” I finally admitted after letting a few tense seconds pass
“You’re not?” his eyebrows raised in surprise, wrinkles forming on his forehead.
“No,” I laughed. “It’s never been anything serious. We just…” I could find the proper words to describe my relationship with Leo. I did like him, I couldn’t pretend I didn’t. I liked his enthusiasm and creativity. He always had something to talk about and had no problem shouldering the conversation, and I couldn’t complain about his body. Leo was a place holder for something more, a warm body to pass the time and give me what I needed.
“Oh thank god,” he let go of my hand and pulled my body tightly against him. I shivered in excitement and my hormones were alive and begging for more. “Even if he was high as a kite when I met him that guy is an idiot.”
“You met him?” My stomach churned, this time unpleasantly. The last thing I wanted was James interacting with Leo.
“Briefly” he shrugged. “I was in the guy’s house, I had to at least introduce myself.”
Of course he did, I held my breath and waited for him to continue. I wasn’t sure why I was nervous, but the idea of them talking made me nauseous. I didn’t want James to judge me on my poor taste in sexual partners.
“He was rolling on the floor with another guy talking about some weird artsy shit and when I said hi he said he didn’t have time for neanderthals. Then he asked if I was a real person and when I said yes he told me that wasn’t possible because I’d sold my soul to the ‘man’. The whole time he was saying this the other guy was petting his stomach and giggling.”
I groaned and tried to hide my face in the pillow, even on hallucinogenic drugs Leo was a stuck up jerk. I shouldn’t have expected anything more, but it was hard to explain the good I did see in him. Deep down, when I could get past his pretentious exterior and trendy babble, he was sweet and adventurous. He cared about things, a trait that was uncommon amongst the guys I spent my nights with back in Edmonton. But his body and his deep hidden personality traits weren’t enough to keep me around. I scolded myself for even thinking about Leo while James was holding me so close.
“I swear I’m not actually with him,” I shook my head and slowly let my eyes meet his.
“Good,” he whispered softy and before I could reply his soft, moist lips were pressed against mine. He kissed me with a gentle passion, his hand coming up to stroke my cheek and our lips moving together in a relaxed rhythm. He kissed just like I hoped he would, like I’d imagined time and time again. I could get lost him, easily forget the world around me and focus solely his tender touch and warmth. He didn’t try to move his hands lower, or move our bodies so they were closer, instead he tangled his fingers in my messy curls and kept his lips on mine. There was an innocence about the way his tongue moved against mine, it wasn’t rushed or needy. He seemed content to kiss me with his hands in my hair and mine on his chest. The men who came before him had always felt so forced, like kissing was just a way to get further, a duty required to get into my pants. But none of them mattered anymore, and none of them would matter again because as his lips massaged mine I knew there was no one in the world who could top him.

I woke up with his head nuzzled against my neck and his arm draped over my stomach. The sun streaming through the cracks in the blinds and with the exception of his quiet breathing, the house was silent. Silence wasn’t something I was used to, my home in Edmonton had always been chaotic and loud, there were always muffled noises in my apartment coming from my still faceless neighbours, and Jessica’s house was far from quiet on the best of days. Silence was unsettling. He slept peacefully beside me, his eyelids fluttering but never opening and his lips parted slightly. I didn’t want to wake him, but I couldn’t stand the empty space around us. Carefully, I pulled my arm from his embrace and reached for my phone on the side table. It was nearly 2pm and I had three missed calls from Leo and a text message asking me to call him. Ignoring his request I went into my music and scrolled through until I found what I was looking for. I pressed play and lay the phone on the pillow beside me, waiting for the music to start.
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

The words came out of the phone and rang through my mind. I couldn’t help but smile and it took everything I had not to dance along with the music. It wasn’t long before James’ eyelids fluttered open and he looked at me with clear blue eyes, he smiled and the skin around them wrinkled.
“Good morning,” he croaked. His groggy voice made my stomach tighten and my pulse race. He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes then stretching his arms into the air. “I like this song.”
“Morning,” I smiled, watching him dreamily. I could tear my eyes away from his messy hair and sleepy face. His grey t-shirt hanging loosely from his torso and his pants twisted around his hips. I’d fallen asleep in a similar outfit, already well acquainted with his closet.
“What time did we fall asleep?” he slipped his fingers between mine and squeezed my hand tightly.
“About eight this morning?” I smiled weakly.
“How are you feeling?” he brushed my hair from my face with his free hand then rest it gently against my damp forehead.
“A little dizzy,” I answered honestly and rest my head against my shoulder. Usually I would have lied and told him that I was fine but the words came out of my mouth before I could think. “Everything feels a little off, but at the same time clearer. For some reason I still feel like I’m in the clouds, but I know I’m not and that they aren’t real.” I admitted.
“Am I still the sun?” he teased, kissing the top of my head.
“That’s what seems so clear,” I shifted so I could see his face. “It’s all so clear in my mind.”
“What is?” he looked a little concerned, as if he was waiting for me to break his heart.
“I just can’t shake the feeling that I need to be honest, completely honest about everything in the world,” the words poured out of me in a fast jumble. The ideas were coming so quickly.
“Then be honest,” he squeezed my hand again, this time reassuring me that he was still beside me. “Tell me anything.”
“I left Edmonton because I was going nowhere fast. I didn’t do anything there. Well nothing productive. I said I don’t do drugs often and I don’t, but I have before. It’s never been a problem, but I did it enough. I left because I kept watching the people around me fall into this vicious cycle of ups and downs and it was terrifying.” I paused, waiting for him to respond, it was his turn to break my heart.
“Okay,” he smiled understanding that I had more to say.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been the one people expects to do that sort of thing. I’ve never been a ‘good girl’ but I was always very good at hiding my harder side. I don’t want to feel bad for having fun in my past, but I worry that it will come back to haunt me.”
“What do you mean?” he asked carefully.
“I’ve slept with a lot of people,” I could feel my face getting hotter and I avoided his gaze.
“And you think I haven’t?” he tried to hold back his laughter but failed miserably and grinned down at me laughing. “Honestly Colbie, if you think finding out that you aren’t a virgin is going to make me think less of you then I haven’t done a very good job of showing you how I feel.” He let go of my hand and cupped my face, leaning in and kissing me with a little more vigour than a few hours earlier. I let out a muffled moan and he moved a hand down and brushed it against my breast. I wanted to throw myself at him, rip off his clothes and meet his moles and freckles, but I let him take the lead and after a few minutes of his lips against mine he pulled away smirking.
“I don’t care who you’ve slept with or what you’ve done. I want you. The person you are right now.” He looked at me with such sincerity that I thought I might melt right in front of him.
“Want me how?” I asked sceptically. Pushing past my urge to melt and focusing on being realistic.
“How do you think?” he chuckled. “Like ditch the pylon for good and be with me.”
I stared at him then blinked hard, just to be sure this was real and I wasn’t still tripping. I shook my head a few times then opening my eyes again to see him watching me, amused.
“You’re completely lucid, Colbie,” he reassured me.
“Just making sure,” I blushed and looked down at my lap.
He watched me fidget before taking my hands in his to me. “So?” he looked at me apprehensively.

“Okay,” I finally said. I tried to keep a straight face, act cool, like it was no big deal that he’d just set my heart into overdrive no big deal. But it was, it was a huge deal and I couldn’t fight the smile that crept across my lips and took over my face. I let my body fall into his arms and pressed my lips excitedly against him, a sudden surge of energy overpowering the exhaustion that I’d previously felt. Happiness overwhelmed everything else I could possibly feel and for the first time since moving to Pittsburgh I knew I hadn’t made a mistake.

Notes

I'm avoiding my real life... which works out great for you guys really.

Yay Jambie!

xx-T

Comments

WOop

@Ambidextrous Thoughts
I am!! I should have a new chapter up soon!

TheoAirplane TheoAirplane
2/8/18

Omg are you back for good! :D

@yyc1223
I promise it isn't! I promise!!
See my update on Stay for more information <3

TheoAirplane TheoAirplane
4/22/17

Ugh i had to reread this story because i loved it so much ❤ i hope this isn't the last we will see of this story!

yyc1223 yyc1223
11/19/16