“Why does she always do this?” I groaned, rooting through my closet to try to find the skirt I was looking for. “I mean seriously, can the girl not make plans ahead of time for anything?”

“You know how Sammy is,” Raychel shrugged, tugging a shirt out of my closet and grinning. “I’m wearing this by the way.”

I looked down at my shorter friend with a sarcastic smile. “How polite of you to ask.”

“You know you don’t mind,” she brushed off, jumping onto my bed and bouncing. “Why are you looking for a skirt anyway? It’s freaking January in Pittsburgh dude. You’ll freeze your cooter off.”

I stared at her, not sure whether I should laugh, agree, or be disgusted that she used the word ‘cooter’. “I happen to like wearing skirts thank you,” was all I could manage to come up with before turning back to my closet.

“Because they make you feel feminine, right?” she guessed, continuing before I could speak. “And you want to feel feminine around Max, because let’s face it… Sam is the Goddamn epitome of feminine.”

I blinked, trying to form a comeback, but had neither the will, nor the ability to make that bold of a lie. “Whatever,” I grumbled instead, going back to my search for the missing clothing.

“Just wear a pair of skinny jeans with your boots Taylor,” she told me in a bored voice as she flopped back onto my bed and tossed one of my pillows into the air. “God knows with all the snow on the ground you’ll need the boots. Then just wear a girly shirt or something. Just please, for the love of God, don’t wear a skirt because you’ll slip on the ice and flash everyone.”

“Fine! I won’t wear a fucking skirt,” I snapped, throwing my hands up in the air in frustration. I always got like this before going to Sam and Max’s. In fact, nothing pissed me off more. Sadly, I didn’t have a problem with either of them. They were actually two of my best friends. What pissed me off was that they were together.

Not that I’m one of those selfish people that want to keep all of their friends separated and to themselves. I just happened to be in love with one of those friends. And I can tell you now, I’m not in love with the blonde bundle of bubbles that is Samantha Bryans. Her boyfriend was the one I was in love with. I really don’t make it a habit of falling in love with my friend’s men. I was actually in love with him before the two of them had ever met. Fuck, I had dated him before they met. But we took a break, worried that we wouldn’t be able to stay friends if something happened in the relationship, so we had to make sure it was what we wanted.

We were supposed to get back together after realizing we were perfect for each other. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with my best friend when she was here on a visit. I could understand him finding her attractive, everyone did. Hell, Sam was gorgeous. But it wasn’t just that. He fell head over fucking heels for her, right after meeting her. So much that when her two week visit was over, he called her every day, begging her to come back. He even found her a job, and let her move in with him. Normally I would be elated that the third musketeer of Raychel and I’s childhood was now living in Pittsburgh with us, but not when she was living with the man I was in love with.

I tried to be optimistic and believe that they’d drift apart eventually. Or that Sam would open her eyes and see how I felt about him. But it never happened. They’d been together for over eight months, and they showed no signs of slowing down.

And it broke my heart.

“I’m sorry Raychel, I didn’t mean to snap.”

“I know you didn’t. You get like this every time we go over there. I’ve come to expect it,” she shrugged with a small smile as she shoved me away from my closet and began looking around. “Besides, I can’t really blame you. Sam is kind of blind. She didn’t even think to ask you if you minded that they were together, which is like best friend code. I mean, she got with your ex without asking permission-“

“She doesn’t know Max and I ever dated,” I reminded her. She scoffed and cocked her hip.

“Taylor, she found a picture in an album of you making out. Not even Sam is that dumb.”

“To be fair there was a picture in that album of you and I making out. She probably just thought we all got drunk and made out with each other,” I reasoned.

“Funny, I didn’t see any pictures of Jordan and Tyler making out,” she deadpanned, tossing a pair of distressed skinny jeans on to my bed and going back to her hunt. “Besides, you’re my wifey. I’m allowed to make out with you.”

“Well I’m just saying, Sam probably just got confused, she’s prone to that. And it would make sense that I got drunk and was kissing my friends… I’m prone to that,” I chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.

“I know, but that still doesn’t excuse her for not even noticing that you’re in love with him. I mean, I love Sammy to death, but she’s being a dumbass.”

“She’s happy though Ray. Might as well let her be happy, right? It’s not like I’d ever get back with Max anyway,” I sighed glumly.

“Why not?” she asked, holding up two shirts next to each other before settling on a silk yellow halter from the summer and a black cardigan. I took them from her and laid them down on my bed.

“Because Sam is in love with him now,” I explained, tugging my shirt over my head and replacing the bra I had on with a strapless one. “I couldn’t do that to her and feel right with myself.”

“So you’re just going to sit back lusting after her boyfriend?” she asked, changing her own shirt while I struggled with tying my halter top.

“Yeah, why?” I asked, finally kneeling down so she could tie it for me. At times like these I really hated our dramatic height difference.

“Because that’s just pathetic,” she said bluntly, shoving my shoulder once my top was tied. I rolled my eyes and stood up, stretching to crack my back.

“It is not pathetic. It’s-“

“Sad, depressing, pessimistic, a bit obsessive,” she listed with a smirk. “Face it Taylor, it’s pathetic.”

“I know,” I groaned in defeat, slumping onto my bed and staring at the wall blankly. “But what else am I supposed to do?”

“Oh I don’t know… maybe move on like any normal person would do,” she shrugged, tossing my jeans on. “Now put some pants on. Jordan and Tyler will be here to pick us up soon.”

“I cannot just get over him Raychel. It’s not like this is just a crush, I love him,” I stressed, standing up to pull on my jeans. You know, I love the way skinny jeans look on me, but my God they are a pain in the ass to get on. Between having long legs and somewhat of a erm… larger behind… I have to jump and wiggle it just to get them on comfortably. At least when I get them on I look good though.

“You will eventually, just give it time,” she assured me, tossing my cardigan at me with a grin. “Now, let’s get our asses going. The boys will be here any minute.”

I gave her a small smile and nodded, following her down the stairs of our house. I was actually surprised that the two of us were able to keep this house. We both were in school for our masters degrees and we didn’t exactly have high paying jobs. Though Raychel’s boyfriend did help with rent and bills and groceries since he was here so damn much. He literally stays with us more than he does at his own apartment. I don’t know why the fuck he hasn’t just moved in yet.

“You have the dogs in their pins?” I asked her, glancing worriedly around our living room. “I really don’t want another pair of my shoes chewed up.”

“Yeah, I got them.”

“Thank God,” I groaned. This was going to fucking suck.

---

“Don’t stop, make it pop. DJ blow my speakers up!” I sang, dancing between Jordan and Goose with a bottle of Smirnoff in my hands. I’d been in the whiskey earlier, but Sammy jumped my ass and told me to leave that for the men before handing me a bottle of this. I’d currently wiped out a six pack of it and I was into my second bottle of my second pack.

I still wasn’t over elated to be here, but I hadn’t seen much of Sammy and Max together, so it wasn’t too horrible. Plus, Jordy was making sure I had a steady supply of alcohol and was distracted. He was such a good friend. And the boy is damn adorable. Like seriously, I would bone him.

“I can’t believe you managed to talk these two into dancing to this song,” Billy Guerin, the oldest member of the Pittsburgh Penguins laughed as he watched his two younger teammates wiggle around like idiots with me.

“Dude, hot girl wants to dance, I’m dancing,” Goose laughed, wrapping and arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer to him. I giggled, not really sure what else to say. I think it was more that they were indulging a friend than dancing with me because I was hot. I had no problem taking the compliment however, it was nice to be called hot once and a while.

“And I can’t turn my girl down,” Jordan grinned, pulling me away from Goose and hugging me. “Even if she wants to dance with a balding man.”

“Be nice,” I playfully scolded him, blowing a kiss at Goose just to egg him on.

“You aren’t letting her get drunk are you, Staal?” Billy asked him with narrowed eyes. Billy had a tendency to be a bit fatherly towards the younger players and girlfriends… or just friend in my case. It came from being the oldest and a father himself.

“Do you honestly think I’d let her get drunk Billy?” Jordan scoffed, feigning offense. Billy simply stared at him with an unamused look for a moment before the tall blonde cracked. “Ok, maybe you shouldn’t answer that.”

“You’re damn right I shouldn’t. Don’t forget who had to go pick up your drunk asses from St. Louis in July,” he said sternly, making me hide behind Jordan a bit. God that was awful, I was hungover the whole flight back to Pittsburgh. “I still don’t even know how the hell you two wound up there.”

“Neither do we,” Jordan grinned. Billy just rolled his eyes before leaving to talk to Mark Eaton. This party was seriously a Penguins fan’s dream. The entire team was here, and I think I had even spotted Bylsma earlier. Sammy had outdone herself this time, it made me wonder what the hell was going on.

“You two went to St. Louis?” Goose asked, looking quite confused as Jordan and I grinned. “Why?”

“Because Jim Beam told us to,” I giggled, remembering just how plastered Jordan and I had been that weekend. It’d been right after I had found out Sammy and Max were together, and I was looking for anyway to drown it out. Raychel had wanted me to stay sober and deal with it in a healthy way, but I’m not known for my healthy coping mechanisms. Instead, Jordan decided to not let me get drunk alone, and we got drunk together. I vaguely remember a taxi ride to the airport, and boarding the plane before I had about a six hour blackout. Then there were glimpses of memories of a hotel room, and Jordan’s odd way of consoling me before more drinking. When we finally sobered up late Saturday night, we realized exactly where we were and called Billy since Raychel and Tyler were in The Soo at the time.

“Good times,” Jordan mused, ruffling my hair and giving me a covert smack on the ass. I rolled my eyes and picked up my now empty bottle of Smirnoff. Looks like it’s time for a new one.

“I’m gonna go get another- Raychel!” I chirped, waving at my roommate. She looked a lot more serious than I figured she’d be at a party. Usually her and Tyler would be all cuddly or grinding up on each other before they split, but right now she seemed like she wasn’t in a very good mood.

“Jordan! Thank God!” she rushed out quickly, running over to us with Tyler trailing behind her. “You need to take Taylor home, now.”

“Why?” I asked before he could answer, staring at her like she had grown another head. Usually she doesn’t encourage Jordan and I to leave together while intoxicated. Nothing good ever results from that. And here she was telling him to take me home?

“You just need to go home,” she brushed off, looking up at Jordan with pleading eyes. “Come on Staal, you really need to do this, now.”

“Are you going to tell me why?” he questioned slowly, looking over at his roommate for some sort of answer. Tyler just fidgeted for a moment before shrugging.

“She’s drunk dude. It’s probably best if she goes home.”

“I am not that drunk Kennedy,” I deadpanned, glaring at the curly haired man. “I’m perfectly fine. I’m not even stuttering.”

“Yea but-“

“Hey! Can I get everyone’s attention for a moment!”

Sammy’s cheery voice cut through the conversations in the room as she stood up on a coffee table with Max standing next to her. She had a huge grin on her face and seemed like she was about to explode from excitement. What the hell? Had she just found out her implants were made of gold or something?

As everyone seemed to quiet down, she smiled down at Max before he spoke. “We have some news we’d like to share with you all.” Damn, even Max seemed happy. Maybe she sucked him off before all of this bullshit?

”We’re engaged!”

A horrible choking noise followed Sammy’s exuberant announcement, instantly grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. The awkward silence only got worse when a strangled groan followed. Jesus, it sounded like someone was dying.

“Taylor?” Sammy said in concern, stepping off of the table to walk over and check on me. It was only then that I realized that I was the one making those noises. Hmm… maybe it was the vocal noise of my entire world falling apart?

Yeah, I think so.

“I-I-I…” I stammered, looking over at Raychel, hoping she could tell me that this was all a joke. Her sad look told me that this was no joke. They were really going to get married. My stammering quickly turned to sobbing before I could stop myself and I crumpled to the ground.

“Oh shit,” I heard Jordan curse, quickly lifting me off of the ground and turning to Sammy and Max. “She’s a little drunk, and she wasn’t feeling well before we came over here. I should probably just take her home.”

“Awww, but we were going to go out to a club and celebrate,” Sammy whined, pouting over at Max. Yeah, just what I wanted to fucking do. Celebrate the man of my dreams marrying my best friend. For fuck’s sake, I wouldn’t even be able to break them up! That would just be horrible.

Kill me now, please.

“We’ll just have to go tomorrow when Taylor is feeling up to it,” Max said diplomatically, smiling over at me sympathetically. He probably thought I was actually sick. Though right now, I’m pretty sure I could be sick.

“Good idea baby,” Sammy grinned, leaning up to peck Max on the lips. It killed me to know that I was going to have to watch that for the rest of my life. “I hope you feel better tomorrow Taylor. I’ll call you in the morning, maybe we could get breakfast or something?”

“Maybe,” I managed to croak out before hiding my face in Jordan’s neck. Oh God, I was going to die. And I didn’t really care at this point.

“Alrightie, I’ll see you tomorrow then sweetie,” she smiled, patting my head before skipping off to boast about her engagement.

I expected Jordan to carry me out then, but he hadn’t. I lifted my head to figure out what the fuck was going on and my eyes immediately connected with Max’s.

“Are you alright Taylor?” he asked, concern filling his voice as he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. I didn’t trust my voice to actually answer, so I nodded at him, averting my eyes directly to the ground. “Get some rest tonight, eh? You have to help me celebrate tomorrow and we can drink everyone else under the table.”

I couldn’t help but smile, no matter how weak, when he grinned at me like that. I was a sucker for this guy, whether he was with my best friend or not. “Of course,” I replied, my voice hoarse with grief.

“Alright. Goodnight chére,” he said quietly as he kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes, trying to savor the feeling of his lips on my skin. It brought back so many memories, of those same lips being so many other places. But that was all they were now, memories. Never to be repeated again. “Make sure she gets home alright, Staalsy.”

“I plan on it man,” Jordan replied with a nod. They probably would have done one of those silly man-hug things if I hadn’t been in Jordan’s arms. The boys always did those.

Max gave me one last smile before taking off in search of Sammy. He was always chasing after Sammy, always leaving me behind.

“Let’s get you home,” Jordan said softly, giving me a sad smile that nearly broke my heart. It was filled with pity. I didn’t want him to pity me, I didn’t want anyone to pity me. But after the scene I had just made, I guess I should expect it. “Hey Tanger, can you get the door for me?” he asked, kicking the defensemen lightly with his foot. Kris immediately stood up and nodded, even passing Jordan my coat that had been hanging up.

“She going to be okay?” he asked, his thick French Canadian accent marring his English slightly. He was from Quebec, just like Max was. Though Max’s accent was much, much lighter. Hell, anymore he almost sounds American half the time.

“She’ll be fine in the morning,” Jordan answered, readjusting me in his arms when Kris gave him a disbelieving look.

“Alright. I’ll see you later then,” he replied, looking like he was withholding something. God knows what though. It was hard to tell with Kris. He was a good bit quieter than the rest of the team. Some people that didn’t know him thought he was a bit antisocial. But I had met him over three years ago when I met Tyler and Max and Wilkes-Barre with Raychel. I knew that he wasn’t antisocial, he was just quiet at times. And very observant.

“See you man.”

“Bon soir Taylor,” Kris told me with a small, encouraging smile that turned to a smirk when Jordan glared at him. Jordan hated when the French Canadians would speak French to me because he had no idea what we were saying.

“Bon soir Kris,” I replied with a small wave as Jordan carried me out the door and to his car. I sighed and shivered slightly in the cold Pittsburgh air. Fuck I hated winter, and tonight was so bitterly cold. Fitting almost. “Hey Jor?”

“Yeah?” He stopped in front of his car, setting me on my feet and opening the door for me to climb in.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked, getting into the driver’s side and starting up the car.

“For this. Always helping me out. For being you.”

Notes

This has been on mibba for quite sometime, I figured there was no harm in moving it over here. :)

Bon soir - Good night