how are you feeling today?

That simple, un-capitalized text was what I woke up to this morning. I was used to waking up to texts, but certainly not from this person. At least, not recently… and by recently I mean the last couple of years. I actually had to check twice to make sure that it really said Kris had sent me that text. After my initial confusion wore off and I woke up a bit more, I glanced at the clock and replied.

Fine, considering some Frog decided to text me and wake me up at ten in the morning. :P

I grinned to myself as I stood up, not entirely sure why I felt the need to smile, just knowing that I did. I hadn’t wanted to get up this early, but since I was already awake, I might as well get going with things. Raychel and I were fixing lunch before the game for Tyler and Jordan. Of course, it was pretty likely that a few other people would show up, they usually do. A couple of the regulars being Max and Sammy when they didn’t feel like going out to eat.

Sam really isn’t a very good cook.

I pulled out the clothes that I was going to wear for the early part of the day and began to get dressed. I almost went ahead and put on jeans and my jersey, but I didn’t want to risk getting food on it, so I settled with cargo pants and a t-shirt. By the time I had put my clothes on, I had a reply.

desolé. didn’t realize what time it was. i just wanted to make sure you were feeling better after last night.

I smiled as his words inspired a small pang in my chest. I was still upset about what had happened, quite upset really. It had made me realize just how much I missed Max, it was a reminder of what I used to have, but had lost. And above that, the guilt of what we had done was making me feel sick to my stomach. I wasn’t sure I’d even be able to look Sammy in the eye after that. The fact he not only realized how upset I was at my own actions, but was worried about me, was touching.

He didn’t need to worry about me. It wasn’t his job. The two of us were barely even friends anymore, and he’d been looking after me so much lately. I don’t even know why.

I quickly typed out my reply and paused, mulling over something in my head. It seemed like we were friends now, like the awkward stage that we had been stuck in for so long was finally over. I figured it would be okay to ask.

A bit better. Still pretty ashamed of myself though. Do you have plans for lunch?

I ran my fingers through my hair as I dropped my phone to my bed, glad that it wasn’t too tangled from last night. That meant I could leave it as is until after lunch. I could just shower before the game so that I wouldn’t smell like a bar. One of these days people are going to start thinking that that’s my perfume scent. My phone went off just as I got my hair up into a messy bun. He really has convenient timing.

non. i was thinking of getting take out. why?

I chewed on my lip, wondering what had sparked the desire in me to do this, but not willing to argue. I was just being nice. Why should he eat take out when we’re making enough to feed an army?

Forget take out. We’re making a huge lunch. I can pick you up on the way to the grocery, if that’s okay??

It took me a moment to actually gather the courage to press send. I wasn’t sure why I felt so nervous asking him if he wanted to come over for lunch. He’d come over here before, though it was always Raychel or one of the boys that invited him. This wasn’t really that different though. Was it?

My phone began to vibrate before I could dig much deeper into the root of my anxiousness, thank goodness. I was about to drive myself nuts with all this thinking.

sounds nice. when are you leaving?

I smiled to myself, pleased that Kris hadn’t questioned me like I had been questioning myself. I was probably just over-thinking everything. Not everything I do has to have an unconscious ulterior motive.

I’m leaving now. Be there in a few.

No more over-thinking, I decided as I sent the text. I wasn’t going to contemplate every move I made right now, because it never works out anyway. I’m just going to do what feels right. For now.

---

“So what exactly are you fixing for lunch?” Kris asked as we strolled through the grocery store with the cart. I plucked a box of angel hair pasta off a shelf and sat it in the cart.

“Raychel is making teriyaki chicken and fried rice, and I’m making stir fry and a vegetable tray,” I replied while grabbing a few boxes of rice. “Is there anything you want in particular?”

“Nothing in particular,” he said slowly as a grin grew on his face. Hm, whatever he wants he must want it bad if he’s trying to charm me for it. “But you haven’t baked when I’ve been over in a while…”

“Ahhh… got a sweet tooth, do we Tanger?” I teased, steering the cart towards the baking isle. “What’re you craving?”

“Whatever you feel like fixing,” he shrugged. “You’ve yet to make something I didn’t like.”

I rolled my eyes as I faced him. “You’re not helping here, man. You’re the one that wants dessert. Now, what do you want?”

He furrowed his brows in contemplation, probably wondering just how much effort I would be willing to put into this. “One of your Dutch apple pies sounds really good,” he said thoughtfully. “But I doubt you want to put that much work into-“

“As long as you help me peal the apples, I’ll do it,” I offered, grabbing what I would need and tossing it into the cart. “But you actually have to help, not just sit back and watch me do it.”

“I’ll help,” he smiled, looking quite pleased that he was getting his way.

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he chuckled, shaking my hand when I stuck it out. I smiled back at him, finding the grin on his face quite contagious. He looked too damn good when he smiled to not smile back. “You drive a hard bargain.”

“But you know it’s worth it,” I teased, bumping my hip against his with a giggle.

“Isn’t young love cute, Henry?”

Kris and I both jumped and looked over at the tiny elderly lady that had spoken. She was looking up at Henry, who I assumed was her husband, with a dreamy look on her face. It was quite adorable, really.

“I remember when we were like that. It’s so nice to see that kids these days still fall in love.”

My face turned scarlet as I looked between the old couple and Kris. She thought we were in love?

“Oh, I’m not… I mean we’re not… it’s just… we’re not in love,” I managed to stammer out, my face getting even brighter as I spoke. Even Kris was blushing a bit and trying to hide himself behind his hair. "We're not even together."

“What she said,” he mumbled, not looking up at the lady. Poor boy. She just chuckled and shook her head.

“My mistake,” she grinned. “Why don’t you two just get on with your shopping, and this old lady will just leave you alone?”

We didn’t get the chance to speak before she left with her husband, sending Kris and I a conspiratorial wink on the way. Oh good Lord! Why do old women always think everyone is in love? I can’t tell you how many times Jordan and I have gotten comments like that. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

---

“How many more apples do we ‘ave to peel?” Kris whined as he carefully peeled the apples. He was trying to make sure he didn’t knick one of his fingers again. The poor boy could be a bit of a klutz in the kitchen… hence why he got flour all over his black shirt and I had to go wash it for him. At least he was willing to help though.

“I think three more should do it,” I remarked as I looked over the pile we currently had. I had just finished putting the crust into the pie dishes and was now going to set myself to mixing the filling that went in with the apples. “You’re doing good though.”

He huffed out a laugh and looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. “You’re just saying that because I’m actually helping.”

I grinned a bit and nodded, dumping the cinnamon on top of the sugar and stirring it carefully. “That and you’re doing it without a shirt.”

“Oh I see how it is,” he chuckled, pointing the knife at me accusingly. “You’re just using me for my body.”

“And your amazing apple cutting abilities,” I teased. He rolled his eyes as he began cutting the peeled apple into pieces.

“Now you’re just being a smart ass.”

“Taylor!” Raychel sang as I heard a stampede of feet coming down the stairs. I was going to reply to Kris, but thought better of it. We’d just keep going around in a circle when really it doesn’t matter. He’s peeling apples in my kitchen without a shirt, his argument is invalid. “Where are you at?!”

“Kitchen!” I replied, finally finishing the crust and grabbing an apple and paring knife to help Kris. I could hear two sets of footsteps approaching the kitchen, not that it was a surprise. Tyler followed Raychel around like a lost puppy all the time. You’d think he was attached to a leash or something.

“Have you checked the teriyaki chicken for me?” she asked, plucking a piece of apple from the bowl Kris had been putting them in and looking him over. “Well hello there shirtless Kristopher Letang. Why aren’t you always in my kitchen when I walk in?” she winked overdramatically. She’d only done it to tease him, but that didn’t stop Kris from blushing, or Tyler from looking a bit disgruntled.

“Max and Sammy just pulled up,” Tyler added, trying to pretend like he had just ignored Raychel’s comment. The poor boy gets way too jealous sometimes. Raychel adores him, but sometimes he just doesn’t see it because he’s too worried about whether she’s joking when she makes flirtatious comments towards friends. I can tell you now, I’ve known that girl since I was a little shit, she’s not serious. She’s flirtatious by nature, and she likes to tease people. For some reason Tyler just seems to forget about that sometimes.

“Well, the food is done,” I shrugged, dumping the sugar mixture on top of the apples and mixing them around quickly. “So we can go ahead and eat. I just need to finish up these pies and stick them in the oven.”

“I heard pies!” Jordan yelled from the living room only seconds before his tall frame appeared in the kitchen doorway. “You’re making pies?!” he questioned, looking all too excited for the twenty-one year old man that he was.

“Yes Jordan, I’m making pies,” I chuckled as the front door opened. Without thinking, I averted my eyes to the counter. I hadn’t even really thought of how I was going to behave today with both Max and Sammy here. The kiss from last night was still fresh in my mind. It had managed to break through the drunken barriers that usually left my actions a bit hazy, and had branded itself into my memory.

“Smells good in here,” Sammy called out to everyone as she hung her coat up and slipped off her snowy shoes. “Did Raychel make her teriyaki chicken?”

“Damn right I made orgasm chicken!” Raychel declared with excitement as she tried to get the plates out of the cabinet. Unfortunately, they were a bit high up, and she was having problems reaching. I was wondering why she didn’t use the step stool that we usually kept in the kitchen, but when I saw Jordan’s mischievous grin, I knew exactly why.

“You hid her step stool,” I accused quietly, causing his grin to widen. Kris looked between the two of us, realizing that we knew something he didn’t.

“You what?” he questioned, moving closer so that no one would hear us.

“He hid her step stool,” I repeated, shaking my head. “The cruel bastard.”

“Don’t even pretend you don’t find this just as amusing as I do,” Jordan snickered, pointing over to where Raychel was trying to hop to reach the plates. I bit my lip as I watched her, not wanting to laugh out loud. It was hilarious, but it was mean. And Jordan knew that she’d be too damn stubborn to ask for help.

“Why is Raychel trying to hop on the counter?”

I closed my eyes when I felt his breath pass over the back of my neck. I tried not to make my slight shudder noticeable, but I couldn’t stop it. Why did he always have to be so close to me when we talk? Doesn’t he understand the concept of personal space?

“Misplaced her step stool,” I swallowed, opening my eyes and looking right at the counter. I was afraid to look in his eyes. I wondered if he remembered what happened last night, and even more, if he had meant for that to happen.

“I hid it,” Jordan grinned proudly, winking at me when Max turned his attention over to him instead of placing it on me. I smiled gratefully, and took both the pie pans to put in the over.

“Let me help,” Kris spoke quickly, grabbing one from me and following.

“Thanks Kris,” I nodded as I opened the oven door and placed the first one inside, before taking the other from him.

“De rien,” he shrugged off, though his face held concern. “Are you alright?” he asked nervously. I licked my lips and glanced over my shoulder, finding Max laughing heartily with Jordan. My eyes then moved over to Raychel and Sammy, who were smiling as the spoke. It was coming down to where I had to decide what was more important to me. Friends, or love?

“It’s… hard,” I said honestly, blinking to try to keep my tears at bay.

“I know it is,” he spoke softly, placing his hand on my arm in an attempt to comfort me. I huffed out a laugh and shook my head.

“Unless you’ve had to watch the person you were in love with be with your best friend, I don’t think you know just how hard it really is.”

“I have, and I do,” he replied, giving me a stern look. “You’re not alone in this Taylor. And you’re not a bad person for ‘ow you feel. People would understand, if you’d just open up-“

“And say what?” I hissed, narrowing my eyes at him. “’Oh, I’m sorry, but they can’t get married because I’m in love with him.’ Yeah, that would go over real well, Kristopher.”

“I didn’t say you had to try to stop the wedding,” he sighed. “I’m just trying to let you know that you’re not alone, and people do realize you’re hurting. Just let them help.”

I sniffed and nodded, but I couldn’t form words. What was I supposed to say to that? I didn’t even fully understand what he was trying to say, but I knew he was trying to help, and that was all that really mattered.

“Kris, why are you in the kitchen with no shirt?” Sammy suddenly burst, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room.

“Oh he was like that when Tyler and I came in,” Raychel waved off. “They were baking pies and shit together.”

Sammy raised her eyebrows as a smile spread across her face. I could have sworn I heard Max mutter something along the lines of “Fuck, here we go” but I couldn’t be sure. I did know, however, that Samantha was about to go off on a tangent.

“Boys, why don’t you go watch TV while us girls finish up the food?” she suggested happily, never taking her eyes off of Kris and I.

“Fuck that,” Jordan scoffed. “You’re dumber than I thought if you think I’d leave you alone with food. You can’t cook for shit.”

Tyler and Kris snickered while Max just rolled his eyes. “Taylor and Raychel are in here, I’m sure Sammy will just be watching,” he explained to his friends. “Let’s just go, FSN is showing the Rangers and Flyers game anyway.”

“Fine,” Tyler groaned, kissing Raychel on the forehead and following Max and Jordan out. Kris gave my forearm a light squeeze and smiled before he too followed. I glanced over at Sam and Raychel as he left, noticing that both of them were watching him.

“Oh my God,” Sammy mouthed with a goofy grin, beckoning me over in excitement. “God he has a nice back,” she commented as she planted herself on a stool at the island. “Now, why was he here without a shirt on?”

I opened my mouth to explain, but Raychel cut me off.

“I don’t know, but I almost wanted to turn right back around when I came in and let the food burn,” she laughed. “Hated to interrupt those two. I bet there was some hot, kinky, pie baking kitchen sex going on in here before Tyler and I ruined it.”

“You shithead!” Sammy exclaimed, nudging Raychel’s shoulder. “Taylor was finally getting some action, and you interrupted it! How rude Raychel Lillian!”

“I didn’t mean to,” she groaned. “God, it’s not like Taylor hasn’t interrupted Tyler and I before.”

“That was totally on accident!” I cut in, shuddering at the thought of what I had seen. “And besides, you two are digging way too into this. His shirt is in the washer, he got flour all over it. That’s all.”

“How’d he get the flour on there?” Raychel asked suspiciously.

“With the hot, kinky, pie baking kitchen sex, duh!”

“Fucking hell, Sammy,” I laughed, shaking my head at the grinning blonde.

I really was lucky to have these two as friends.