Geno rolled over to my side sweaty and panting. He roughly pulled me into his chest and he planted a big kiss on my forehead. This was a usual night for us while he was home. The season was just about to end and luckily they had a few days off before playoffs which meant I was sleeping at his house. I already had a few essentials here even though we weren’t “official”.

“Geno..” I mumbled into his chest as I traced up and down his arm with my fingertips.

“Yes?” he asked giving me a squeeze.

“I love you.” I sighed sadly.

“Love too. Beautiful.” He said. The first time he told me he loved me I was caught off guard. We ordered Chinese and were watching some Russian movie. He held my hand and I’ll never forget the way he looked at me.

“But…I think we should end…this. Whatever this is.” I said closing my eyes waiting for his response.

“What? Why?” he asked sitting up.

“I don’t want to be a secret anymore Geno, but we can never do that.” I said scooting to the edge of the bed and putting my bra back on.

“Why? You want official? Fine. Be girlfriend.” He said with a confused look on his face.

“We can’t. “ I sighed crossing my arms.

“Why? I love.”

“Your friends, family…Russians will never accept me Geno.”

“If I say, they will.”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

“Ali, I LOVE. Why you care about that?”

“Because I know you eventually want to go back. To be with your family. To have your own family. You can’t do that with me.” I said sadly as I slipped on the rest of my clothes.

“Who cares? With me, you safe. Nobody hurt. Why you care?”

“Geno, you’re smart. I don’t have to explain it to you.” I said forcing my boots back on angrily. I couldn’t blame him. I only had myself to blame. I let it get this far. I fell in love with him. I got attached.

Finally he stood and grabbed my arm.

“Please. No leave. I love.” He said pleading as his eyes teared up.

“I’m sorry G.” I said turning.

“No. I can’t let. “ he said, his hold slipping to my wrist. He forced himself in front of the bedroom door, blocking my exit.

“Come to bed. We make love. Everything okay.” He tried to laugh.

“Geno, move.”

“What I have do? How make you stay? You want meet team? You meet team. Meet Lazy. Meet mom, dad when come. I love too much.”

“If you love me, let me go.” I said coldly. My hands were shaking and I knew I was trying hard to hold back my tears. Geno relaxed.

“If you no love me leave. No tell me love if not true. Leave. I no want you here.” He said angrily and holding the door open for me. He followed me silently downstairs. I grabbed my keys and headed to my car, forcing myself not to look back.