Collide

CiCi threw the last of her belongings into a box and looked around her now bare office. She was excited for the upcoming change and that she was taking the summer off to spend with Sidney, but she was also sad to be leaving the gallery. Not that she didn't already have some big plans to incorporate young talent nights at the place and somehow stay in contact with it. But the teaching gig that she walked right into meant more time with Sidney.

She placed the box on the rolling cart and started to push it out of her office towards the ramp down to Sid's awaiting SUV. They decided when she got the job that they would just transport her things directly out to the Sewickley house rather than clutter up the apartment when they were going to be packing it up soon anyways. Sidney took her car to practice that morning and stressed how he had a meeting so he would be late getting back. He wanted her to put off moving her things, but she needed to get in to the place while it was still open and the board was already looking for her replacement. It wouldn't be long before she needed to move it anyways.

"I thought you'd be moving these things because you decided to become a fleeting artist, living on the money in your pocket. Not to become a teacher," Sherri said as she came to help push the cart knowing that CiCi was still healing from surgery.

"How did you get this job without actually having teaching experience?" Nick asked as he came around his desk to help as well.

"My talent alone. No, it's because it's considered a private school they don't necessarily need someone certified. Although they encourage it and I intend on getting certified." CiCi was appreciative of the help she was getting. She wasn't so sure how she was going to lift everything into the car. She knew she could sucker some of Sid's teammates into helping unload the truck later that evening.

Once everything was in the back of the truck, she closed the hatch and turned to her old boss and coworker. "Well, thank you for helping me. And for everything you've done for me these last couple years."

"Oh sweetie, it's been a pleasure having you here. And it's not like you're going far away. We will still see each other," Sherri said as she pulled CiCi in for a hug.

"I know." They exchanged smiles as CiCi turned to Nick who looked like he was about to burst into tears. "Oh stop. We live in an age where we can communicate at our fingertips. We will talk and see each other. Just not at work every day."

"I'm good. I promise!" Nick squeaked as he hugged CiCi to him. "Call me later?"

"You bet!" She pulled away and climbed into the driver's seat. She was only going back to their apartment for the time being. She planned on waiting for Sidney to return from wherever it was that he felt was important to be at.

*****

Sidney waited around the locker room as the last of the team filed out. He glanced at his phone when he saw the message that said the doctor was ready for him. No one needed to know that his ex-girlfriend was in the room with a little boy that could potentially be his son.

He had hoped to have this done when he had returned from Washington some three weeks ago. But Katie made excuses after excuses for not being able to make it to Pittsburgh. It was three weeks of him playing horribly and being high strung around CiCi. And he was certain she noticed. When she suggested they move into the house before they leave for the summer he believed it was a means to just get him to focus on that more than his poor performance.

He walked down the hall towards a meeting room where their lawyers and doctor were set up. On one side of the room sat Katie and a little boy and on the other side stood his uncle and who Sid assumed was Katie's lawyer. The doctor had his testing kit set up on the table.

"Hi Katie," Sid spoke quietly. He made no effort to be introduced to the boy and he didn't ask for a name.

"Hi Sidney," she said. She hugged the boy closer to her body.

"Ah Sid, great. We can get things started. All we will do is get a blood sample from you and Jack. Give me about three days to get the test results and we can meet back here on Thursday," the doctor began.

"I won't be here. You can just call my lawyer. I will be in Winnipeg," Sid interrupted, "If we had done this when I had the three day window we would have been able to meet."

"Our life doesn't revolve around you and your hockey schedule Sid," Katie fired back.

"Let's just get this over with," Sid said as he sat down to have blood drawn from his arm. A prick of a needle later and Sid was saying goodbye to his uncle. "You'll be in touch?"

"I will let you know as soon as I hear anything," Barry said.

"Thank you," and off Sidney went. He didn't want to make small talk with Katie. He wanted to get home to CiCi who instead of returning to work as she planned, was leaving her job for good.

*****
When he walked though the door at their apartment he was greeted by the sound of CiCi's excited voice, yet she wasn't greeting him. Instead she was on the phone.

"Three days, okay. Thank you," she said. She had her back to him as she spoke. Sidney immediately felt panicked. Who was she talking to that she understood the significance of three days? He instantly began to feel clammy and he tugged at his collar and tried to appear collected when she turned around.

"Hey, so you have something to tell me?" CiCi asked when she saw Sid. He knew he shouldn't have listened to his dad. He should have explained the situation when he got home that night nearly three weeks ago.

"I...I can explain babe. I'm so so incredibly sorry for lying," Sid cracked.

"Okay..." CiCi trailed off, a look of confusion swept over her features.

"I should have told you this weeks ago." He walked closer and resigned that he needed to just get it over with. Maybe she wouldn't be as upset as he originally suspected.

"I was just going to comment on your parents coming down Thursday to help me with the packing in here while you're on your road trip. That was your mom. What should you have told me?"

His mom? He had no idea his parents were planning a trip to Pittsburgh when he wouldn't be around. "Oh, that is nice of them. I had no idea."

"What should you have told me Sidney?"

"My parents are coming down to help us pack?"

"Sidney, what did you do?" She stood in the area separating the kitchen from the living room with her arms crossed looking more and more angry. "Stop avoiding it. Whatever it is you need to say it."

"I may have, uh. Well you see, the thing is..." Just then her cell rang interrupting their conversation. Not knowing the number CiCi selected the silence button and hoped the person calling left a voice message.

"Continue."

"I may have a son." Sidney paused to let the information sink in. What he expected was her to yell and scream or throw something. Instead she picked her phone back up and listened to the voicemail that was left. He wasn't sure if her reaction was a good one or if she was building up to something far worse than he ever expected.

He watched her listen to her message. He watched her hang up the phone and then watched her place the phone down on the counter.

"I have to go." It was all she said before she turned around and walked down to their bedroom. He was thoroughly confused.

"Wait! Go where? We can talk about this. We can work this out! The kid may not even be mine!" He followed her and watched as she dragged a large suitcase out of the closet and open it up.

"You're leaving me? Because I didn't tell you all this before? I didn't want to put you through all this drama."

She paused and turned to look at him. "No, instead you chose to bottle it up, play shitty because you can't focus on the game and make me start to believe I was the reason you started to lose the drive you need to win."

"Where are you going to go? Please don't do this CiCi! You're the only stability in my life!"

"I'm going to France."

"What?"

"That message was a member from the selection committee for the fellowship. Someone backed out at the last minute. I got it. And you aren't stopping me from going."

"Fine." He threw his hands up in defeat.

"Fine. I can arrange to have my things moved to my parents' house." She was throwing things left and right into her bags.

"Why are you being so quick to break things off?" Sid turned and watched her closely. His question made her stop and focus on him.

"Because you lied to me! The last time I started letting someone lie to me I became the fool in the relationship and was strung along for years! I refuse to let that happen again." She turned back to her bags.

"Fine. Leave then. Be quick to judge and don't listen to my story. I hope you have a nice time in France." Sidney walked out of the room and grabbed his keys to his car. He slammed the front door on the way out and looked around before deciding to go back in and just explain it to CiCi. Make her understand. He could hear her crying when he came back inside.

She was collapsed in a blubbering heap on the floor when he found her and instantly was at her side. She let him pull her close to him and they both sat there wrapped around one another without saying a word. After several minutes and CiCi's sobs slowed down to just quiet tears Sid spoke.

"That is what Katie wanted to tell me in D.C. I should have just told you when I called you back, but my dad said not to stress you out given that you were still healing from surgery. That I could tell you after the paternity test. I shouldn't have listened to him."

"And your meeting today was the test."

"Yeah."

"Is she here too?"

"With Jack. He is three."

"I have to go to France."

"I know."

"Me being gone will give you a chance to get this all worked out." CiCi didn't mean the test and how Sidney would take on co-parenting with Katie. A child needs both his parents. If she is out of sight and mind maybe he could reconnect with Katie and be a family to them.

"When will you leave?"

"I have to call back to confirm, but in the message I was told tomorrow. I need to pack."

"Okay."

"Will you go? Let me be alone for a little while I pack?"

"Yeah, I'll take...I'll take those boxes to the house."

"Maybe they should just stay here with the rest of my stuff. It will be easier to move if it is all in one place."

"Move? When you get back we will be in the Sewickley house."

"Yeah...yeah. You're right."

Sidney didn't say anything else. He pursed his lips, nodded and left CiCi to finish packing as she had asked him to do.

*****

CiCi called to confirm her trip overseas and followed up by calling her parents to explain her change in plans yet again. She avoided telling them about her just breaking Sid when he was already down. She didn't tell them how he just did the same to her.

Fleeing now when he was down was pretty cowardly of her, but she didn't know if she would ever have this opportunity. And to be honest, escaping from the horrible year she was having was just what she needed. To know she would never be able to give Sidney a child and having someone else claiming she has only pushed CiCi further away.

Sidney needed to get this straightened out before they could settle down and play house. If that would even be an option when she returned. He could move on and she would let him.

She looked around the room. It looked like a tornado barreled through with clothes scattered around. She knew to keep it simple. She could pick up necessities over there, so all she really needed were her clothes, swim suit, some shoes, and makeup. And her favorite paint brushes that she kept in a secure leather satchel with her other art supplies. Which were in the boxes in Sidney's car.

When she was satisfied with everything she packed, she turned to leave the room in hopes to find Sidney in the living room. Just as she suspected, she found him lounging on the couch, a beer in hand and five or so more emptied bottles on the coffee table in front of him.

"Where did you get the beer? And why are you drinking? You're going to be exhausted tomorrow."

"It doesn't matter anymore. Everything is shit anyways." He took a swig of his beer.

"Yeah, well. Are those boxes still in your car?"

"No. I put them in our house."

"Your house. And okay, can I go out there to get something? My favorite brushes are packed in one of those boxes."

"I'll take you." He wobbled to his feet and finished off his sixth beer.

"You are in no condition to drive."

"Fine, you drive. I'll be as quiet as possible in the passenger seat."

"Sid stop being an asshole."

"You're running off when I need you the most. Of course I'm going to be an asshole."

"I'll go, you stay here and try to sober up."

"Baby, please. Let me go with you," Sid begged. She wasn't used to him being as needy as he was being right then.

"Not one sound out of you Crosby," she caved and lead him to the underground garage to their cars.

*****

The ride was quiet just as CiCi had hoped it would be and upon arriving at the sprawling home in the suburb Sidney stumbled out first to show CiCi where he put her boxes.

He pointed in a corner of a bare office room adjacent from the stairwell and walked away towards the kitchen. CiCi rolled her eyes at his retreating form and went into the room expecting it to be decorated in hockey memorabilia and decked out with high end furnishings. She hadn't ventured into this room before so she was shocked to find hardwood floors and bare walls.

And all of her boxes plus a variety of blank canvases, several easels and a variety of different paints. CiCi was in awe of what was in front of her and almost forgot why she had come to the house to begin with.

"Babe," Sid whispered startling CiCi. He sobered up pretty damn fast when he watched her admire what potentially would be her very own space.

"Sidney, what is all this?"

"I was going to have this be your studio. So you can come in here and paint or do any sort of work you may want to do."

CiCi bit the inside of her lip to try to stop the tears from escaping. Her very own art studio in his house that he custom built. She was certain he had a different plan for this room because the house was practically finished when they first met. But he changed the design of this particular room for her. "Sid, I'm
not going to stand in the way of a family being together. I don't want to be that girl."

"What are you saying CiCi? We don't know yet if he is my kid. Why are you so mad about this?"

"I'm not mad that you may have a child. I'm mad that you couldn't tell me. That I stumbled upon it because you mistakenly thought I figured something out earlier."

"I'm sorry! Okay? If I knew you'd get mad about that then I would have told you sooner!"

"That sounds so sincere."

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like you don't give a shit about what you and I have built in the last year? That you can just let it go and walk away?"

"I'm not walking away as you put it. I have a once in a lifetime opportunity. You of all people should understand that!"

"And I do and I'm happy that you get to do this. But why do you keep making it sound like when you get back we won't be together?"

"Sid, have you ever heard the saying, 'If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours'?"

"No."

"You haven't?"

"No, I have. But I don't want that to apply to us."

"Sid, all I am saying is to get this new part of your life figured out. If I fit in it when I get back to the states then I will be incredibly happy. If not, then I will still be happy."

"Why?" His face said it all, he was crushed by this turn of events. And she never intended to leave him like this, but she felt it was the best for everyone involved now.

"Because I got to love you fully for ten incredible months of my life."

Notes

Don't hate me! Needed to add some drama. Comments are loved!