Forbidden

I had managed to make it in to work the next day. I went to my usual duties. I managed to hide my bruises on my arms and shoulders with my shirt. I secretly vowed that I'd never tell anyone else other than Kes what happened. When I got up that morning Brett was still sleeping off his likely painful hangover. I gave him a kiss on the forehead and left some Advil and a Gatorade beside him on the bedside table. I wanted to forgive him, but at the same time I wanted to get away from him. Standing in the trainers room I washed my hands clean never feeling clean enough. Brett's voice haunted me. His words taunting and I could still feel his shoulders pushing me down. I heard a door open and turned to see the cause of it. "Higgy," I smiled avoiding my tears. "Please, come in." I said wiping my face so no tears were visible. "What's up?" I asked him.

"You're early this morning." He said hopping up on the trainer's table. "Is everything alright Dawnie?" He asked giving a suspicious look.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I said putting on a fake smile. "What can I help with?"

"Oh umm, it's my left ankle. I rolled It yesterday and thought it could use a little therapy." He said taking his sneakers off.

"Sure." I smiled taking the ankle into my hands. I felt around the tendons noticing a bit of inflammation. "Let me get you a neuromod." I said "ankles are my specialty." I added with a wink. As I leaned down to grab a bottle of aqua sonic my shirt slipped down my shoulder.

"Woah, Dawnie, what is that?" He asked putting his finger over one of my purple and blue bruises.

"It's nothing" I said pulling my sleeve up ignoring him.

"Dawnie, that's not nothing." Chris said looking into my eyes seriously. "Who did this to you Dawnie? Was it...was it one of our guys? Because if it was I'll kill whoever it was!" Chris said angrily.

"No Chris." I said shaking my head. "It was just an accident." I said avoiding his probing stare. He was too smart for me, he knew better.

"Dawn, you need to tell somebody." He said placing a hand over mine. "Whoever did this to you will do it again."

"Chris, it was just some rough sex ok? You don't need to worry about me." I tried to shake the subject but he kept probing.

"Listen Dawnie, I know about domestic violence. My brother is a cop, my dad is a firefighter. I've heard all about these situations." He said with concern in his eyes. "All I can say is whoever did this to you doesn't deserve you. I would never hit a woman, ever!" He said as my tears started to form.

"He was drunk." I said wiping a tear from my eye. "It's...it's never happened before." My tears became a waterfall.

"Oh Dawnie, I'm sorry." He said taking me into his massive arms and sheltering me like a father would do for his little girl. It was like he wanted to protect me from the world. "If there's anything I can do for you. Anything. Just let me know ok?"

"Yeah." I said between sobs.

"Promise me you won't let him get away with this. Promise?" He asked tilting my head to look into my eyes.

"Everything ok in here?" Kevin Bieksa had interrupted our private moment.

"Yeah Kev, fine" I said with my biggest beauty queen smile. Kev gave a knowing smile. He knew something was up. Perhaps not what he thought it was but somehow he still knew.

"I'll be back." Chris said with a meaningful look in his eyes. "Don't go anywhere." He added as he shut the door to the trainer's room.

"So you and Kes huh?" Kevin said with a lopsided grin.

"I...I don't know what you're talking about." I said brushing a stray lock of hair behinds ears swallowing hard.

"It's a good thing your not an actress Dawn, you kinda suck at it." Kev laughed at his own joke. "I know something happened with you and Kes. It doesn't take an idiot to see the way he looks at you."

"What do you mean?" I asked. Did Ryan say something? Was our cover blown? Or perhaps Kev was just fishing.

"He's all google eyes at you whenever you come into the room. I Even made fun of Boothy for having a hard on after a rub down the other day and he didn't even laugh!" Kev said. "He just reminded me that you're an engaged woman."

"So?" I asked him

"So Kes never does that! He's the biggest womanizer on the team!" Kev said grabbing a roll of athletic tape and taping his wrist. "Just trust me on this one. He must really like you, it's almost like he respects you."

"Oh." That was all I could say.

"But it's not like you guys could ever do anything about it. He's a married man and you're a soon to be married woman." Kev added hopping off of the table heading for the door. "But there's always one last hurrah before it's all over." He said winking as he left.

That night I went back to our home. Brett stood at the stove steaming veggies and chicken. It was the first time I had seen him since last night. My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't speak. "Babe, you're home." He said with a smile. "Here taste this?" He asked me as I walked closer and took a bite of the veggie mix he had made. "Good right?" He asked with a smile. Like he was totally unaware of what transpired last night.

"Mmmhmmm." I said through my mouth while chewing. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes taking a breath. "Brett, do you remember last night?" I asked quietly but confidently.

"I was pretty messed up." He said not meeting my gaze. "I'm sorry." He said quietly

. "Do you...do you know what you're sorry for?" I asked stepping closer. "What do you remember?"

"I came home, started drinking. You didn't come home so I drank some more. I remember you coming home and then I blacked out after that." He said. I didn't know to believe him or not. This was the man I said I would spend forever with. I pulled the shoulder of my shirt down to show him my bruise. He lightly traced his fingers over it. "Fuck." He whispered. I didn't need to explain it to him. "How did I? What happened?" He asked his eyes searching mine.

"You forced yourself on me Brett. I said no and you forced yourself down on me." I said looking him stone in the eyes. He turned around grabbing a seat at the table placing his head in his hands. "Brett do you promise me that this will never happen again?" I said sitting across from him.

"Baby I don't even remember it! I swear I would never hurt you on purpose or for fun. Nothing you'd ever not want me to do." He said looking sincere. I wanted to believe him. "Please. Forgive me?" He asked. My head said no but my heart said yes. I paused for what seemed like an eternity. My brain catapulted through several situations. But my mind wandered back to Chris. How he said there was no good excuse, how I should just leave and nobody deserved the is. How he asked me to promise I wouldn't let him get away with it. I could only think of two small words. The same small words that we were headed towards.

"I do." I said through tears. Brett got up from his seat picking me up from mine and hugged me. Would I regret this? Was he genuine? I had to give him a second chance, didn't i?

Notes

I promise that this story will not be completely about domestic violence. It will get Better!