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I Keep Hoping You'll Forget

It's Not A Date!

I stomped out angrily, Serena on my heels. I stood outside the arena and I could tell she was standing behind me as I tried to hide the tears. I hated him. I really, really hated him.

She came up behind me quietly, "I didn't mean to upset you like that."

I didn't speak for the longest time, just letting the snow fall around me and my best friend. I watched it as it fell and gathered on the ground. "Well you did." I said quietly, almost to myself. I then snarled, "Don't you have a hockey player waiting inside for you!"

"Forget about him!" She said. "I just want to find out what I can do for you."

I still didn't look at her. "Well, here's what you can do. You can leave me alone. Let me go. You can take the train home."

Serena shook her head, "No way! We're best friends! We don't abandon each other. We don't hurt each other like that. We don't leave each other to fend for them selves." I locked my eyes with her and raised an eye brow. "Sorry," She giggled.

I gave her a hug in the falling snow. "Love you," I said.

"Love you too. But I sorta have..."

"Geno waiting inside. Go on, I'll go back to the hotel. I assume Sophie's gonna get it on with her boyfriend, Nealer, right?"

She nodded and smiled, "Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

I nodded and let her flee out of the cold into the arena, where that Geno character was waiting for her.

I turned my back to the arena and pulled on my hat and gloves. If I rememered, it was quite a trek to Serena's small car, and in the falling snow blowing around, and in my brown eyes more specifically.

"Wait! Please wait up!" A figure was running in the snow towards me. A hockey player. Probably one of Sidney's closest friends on the team who wanted me to apologize for me cruel words.

As I thought about it, I HAD been pretty mean to Sid. A lot of things I said to Sidney were most likely, no, most CERTAINLY better left unsaid. I sighed, my breath escaping my lips as a puff of fog.

And when the hockey player/figure stood next to me, I realized it was Sidney. "Look I'm," I began before he interrupted me.

"I'm really sorry Amanda. I never should have said any of that stuff. I'm really REALLY sorry." He said, his hazel eyes wide. His black curly hair held sparkling snow flakes. His hands were in his black coat pockets. His coat was a very heavy black material and it caught snow flakes too.

I nodded, "It's okay. I'm over it." I didn't know exactly what I meant by 'I'm over it" It could mean so much, and I wondered what Sidney thought I meant by it.

He smiled, and I felt my heart rate pick up. I couldn't find anything to say. He really looked beautiful standing in the chilly Pittsburgh night.

"Do I still have an invitation to your house? Or am I going back to my hotel?" I asked, unable to deny the look in his beautiful hazel eyes.

His eyes betrayed his surprise, and I said, "Not to like, do anything, just to like," I sighed, unable to express exactly what I wanted to say.

Sidney smiled again and nodded, "Of course you do Amanda! And I just want one thing."

I looked at him. What did he want? Sex? A kiss? What? "Anything." I lied.

"Just to start over." He held out his gloved hand. "Hello, I'm Sidney Crosby. You are?"

I smiled, "My name is Amanda Monahan. Nice to meet you Sidney."
Sidney was great. Seriously. He made me feel very comfortable. "You can just grab the chair from the back room."

After I pulled the chair into Sid's tiny kitchen around a tiny black table in the shape of a circle. "Oh Sidney," I said, evaluating his kitchen. "How do you manage with this small of a cooking space.

He laughed, a noise that hadn't changed. Still high and girly. I laughed too. "What's so funny?" He asked, still smiling.

"Your laugh," I said honestly.

"Please I get enough crap from the guys about my laugh."

I smiled, "It's alright I'm sure."

He laughed again, "Yeah. So what have you been doing since I left?"

Working my ass off to make the smallest of careers at a local chain place, making about the minimum wage.

"College and stuff. Then I got a job at a store in the arena, where I met Serena. A few days ago I quit, and now I'm looking into advertising, like I was in like 8th grade or something."

He nodded, "That's cool. I was pretty much just playing hockey and some time around 7 years ago I made it to the NHL." He giggled.

I smiled, "I played softball up until my senior year."

"Why'd you quit?"

"It was cutting school, my viola or softball." I looked at the ground,
still mad I had quit softball.

He looked at me, "Why didn't you just quit the viola? You said you never had any passion for it." He waited for my answer.

"Yeah, I hated it. From fourth grade to my senior year I HATED played the damn viola. I've always really wanted to play the guitar, but no. My mom played the viola and it got her into college. She had this huge passion for it, and a lot of talent too.
She still has her old viola too. She wouldn't let me quit, and by then my dad had... You know." I don't like talking about my dad. Even now.

Sidney placed his hand over mine. "That sucks. Do you think you still could play softball?"

I shrugged, "I guess." I had been a natural at the sport. I loved every position, even center field. I just loved to play. It was pretty much the only thing I still had going for me, if you want to look back on my grades or watch an old viola concert my mom would always tape, and then criticize.

"Maybe we could get you back in the groove and you could do something you love?" Sidney suggested.

I smiled, "Really?" I didn't mean to sound as excited as I did, but I can never control my emotions and most of the time I'm really a pessimist, so this is a step up for me, I suppose.

Sidney smiled at my excitment which was way too excited. "Alright, can you come by tomorrow after practice? I'm pretty sure practice ends at noonish. I still have an old glove, and I probabky hae Taylor's old softball glove. She played for a few years."

I gave him a huge smile. "Are you serious? You would really help me like this? After all of.... Everything?"

Sidney snorted, "Of course Amanda!"

I leaned across the table to give him a huge hug. "Thank you so much Sidney! You have no idea how much this means to me!"
Sidney's POV

She was sitting across the table from me, and I was still in shock I had gotten her here. What were the magic words? After all the shit that came out of my mouth I'm surprised she'll even look at me. Her brown eyes were so bright when I suggested she should come over after practice. I was nowhere near paying attention to whatever she was saying. I made an assumption and said, "Oh course Amanda!"

To my surprise she stood up and reached across the table. Something in my head made me stand up and hug her back, while I was still paralyzed in shock.

We sat down again. God, she was still so gorgeous. She had this short redish brunette hair that was pulled behind her head, but strands were falling out of the hair band thing. She had these beautiful brown eyes too, I just couldn't take my eyes off of her.

Amanda was always the one who would take one for the team. Always. In middle school. She was always guilty, and reasonable, and I remember a lot of people didn't like her. That's why her personality was so big, I had always thought. Even now, my old theory seemed to be proving correct. I know something happened with her dad, besides her parents divorce. You could always tell she thoughts everyone knew what happened to him, or with him. But no one knew. No one knows what happened. And I'm fairly sure it's buried so deep inside of her that I'll neer be able to find out what her dad did to her, or what happened to her dad. I don't think anyone ever thought her family was supportive. No, they weren't. Even the teachers knew, and that's why it always troubled me that all the teachers hated her so much. But she never really reacted, just kept her fake, bug personality to hide the war going on behind the scenes in her life.

She babbled, "I might not be very good, I haven't played since the end of my junior season. So I'm sorry if I'm really, really bad."

"I bet you I'm worse! I never even played baseball!"

I had always argued with her, to help her fool everyone into thinking she was who she seemed. I never knew it made her hate me with such a passion. I wish she'd forget. But I know it will always be there, Sidney Crosby was the jerk who took her away from her true passion. I'd always be the villian, even in just the smallest part of her head. She could never forget what an asshole I was to her in Junior High. I wish I could take it all back.

"Well Sidney, I better get going. Especially if Serena doesn't stay the night withher new hockey player friend." Amanda chuckled.

"If it's Geno, she'll leave and he won't call her. Ever. Unless te sex is really good." Sidney said, and we both burst into laughter. "Alright Amanda, see you tomorrow. Wait! Let me give you my number!"

She handed me her small, old looking phone. Her cheeks turned pink as she took my shiny black iPhone from my hand. I typed my name, number and I added the address as well.

"Thanks," She said shyly.

"Alright Amanda, see you tomorrow."

"Later Sid," she said, standing up, and waving as she shut the apartment door behind her.

God, why couldn't I just tell her I really, REALLY was crazy about her. Oh that's right, she would slap me in the face. Why would she slap you, Sidney? Oh yeah that's right, you were a complete asshole to her in junior high school. It's your own fault.
Amanda's POV

I walked out into the freezing, snow laden night. The snow flakes fell around me, as I smiled into the night. The stars were hidden by the huge gray snow clouds. I loved everything about it. In the back of my mind I knew I should probably get in the car so a huge branch doesn't fall off a tree and kill me or something.

But I was way too happy to think about all of that. Somehow inine night, just one night, everything fell together again. Softball, Sidney Crosby. It was all perfect now. Perfect? "You never wanted Sidney to be your friend in the first place." I whispered to myself.

I shook my head to clear it, and headed to my car, still donning my Crosby jersey.

I wondered if I had surprised Sidney. I acted different, not so aggressive and angry with the world. I had always built that personality up, so no one would ever find out what happened. I couldn't let them. I bet Sidney never ever saw this side of me.

I drove back to the hotel, and when I got back, Serena was back too. "Where have you been?" She demanded

"Sidney's," I said casually, walking into the bathroom to check my hair.

Serena basically fell off the bed, "You did it with Sidney Crosby?"

"What? No! We were just talking. About life, you know. It's been ten years since I saw him last, Serena." I told her, a little bit nervous that that was the first thing that popped into her head for me and Sidney. "How was Geno?"

"Evgeni was AMAZING. Literally one of the best I'd ever ever been with. He had this amazing m-"

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW." I shouted over her, and she looked amused as I looked in the mirror again.

"Sophie told me she was going to stay with James. He's a nice guy. I think I'm a bigger fan of Evgeni though." She continued about her "lovely boyfriend." Something tells me Serena and this Geno guy were a one night thing and that's it.

I got into my pajamas and crawled into the big bed on the left, flicking on the TV. "So did you and Crosby click?" Serena asked as I flipped through the channels.

I shrugged, "He's my friend. That's it. I'm going over to his place tomorrow. Again."

Serena gasped, "Really? You and Sidney Crosby are dating!"

My cheeks flushed red. "It's not a date, Serena. A get together is what I'd call it. A softball practice."

"You're going to play your sport with a hockey legend?"

"He's 25 years old, I don't think you can be a legend at age 25, don't you agree?" I said, trying to get my friend off the date topic. Sure, it's pretty much a date, but I think Sidney and I might be just friends for a long time, if we don't have a fight that ruins everything.

Serena shook her head, "Have fun on the date with a famous hockey star. Can you turn that off? I didn't sleep at all when I was with Geno."

"I figured that. And sure," I turned off the TV on Serena's command. "Maybe you can meet with Geno again tomorrow and I can meet him."

"No I think I'll only see him at night, thanks." She yawned.

I shook my head. "Night Serena."

"Night Amanda," She slurred, in her tired, possibly drunk state of mind.
I woke up to Serena saying repeatedly, "Amanda. Amanda. Amanda. Amanda. Amanda. Amanda. Amanda."

"Wha-at?" I groaned.

"You said you were meeting Sid again today, right?"

"Yeah. Why?" I groaned.

"What time?"

I searched my mind, "Noon." I concluded.

"Well GET UP! It's 12:05 and your boyfriend has been calling every ten minutes!" As if on cue, the phone started ringing. "See?"

"Yeah," I answered. "Can you answer it?" I knew it was a mistake the second the words slipped out of my mouth.

"Hi Sidney this is Amanda," She said in the fakest high pitched voice I'd ever heard. "Just kidding, it's actually Serena. Un yeah you're sleeping beauty is literally sleeping. AMANDA GET UP! Okay, we'll be there." I got a little worried as she said "we." I really didn't want to get involved in anything, it's not my business. "Alright, I'll drive her over. Oh that's so sweet! Um how's 12:30ish? Great! Haha did he really? That's classic. See you then Sid! Alright bye!"

I walked into the kitchen part of the hotel room. "Alright Serena, what are WE doing?"

"YOU are being picked up by Sidney at 12:30 ish. He said you were going to play softball or something, so bring a jacket. And then WE are going to lunch with Sophie and Nealer, plus my Geno." Serena answered. I got nervous when she said, 'My Geno'. After what Sidney said last night, it was take and drop, you know?

I smiled, "Great." I got ready and just as I stepped out of the bathroom in my jeans and sweatshirt, and of course high pony tail that the girls and I would always use on the field, there was a hard knock at the door.

"All yours. See you later." Serena gestured me towards the door, and I took a shaky breath and answered it. There he stood, in an Asbury Park baseball cap, plus baseball pants and a sweatshirt.

"A hockey star in baseball gear?" I asked him.

He laughed. "You bet! I played at one point! For like a year. I quit after the first game when I got hit in the mouth, and then tagged out when I was going for home!"

I smiled, imagining Sid as a kid running between third base and home plate, the catcher chasing him. I let out a laugh. "You put a funny picture in my head," I said, through my giggles.

Sidney laughed too. "We lost that game 2-3. If I had gotten home we would have one! We were in an extra period!"

I laughed. "Extra innings Mr. Hockey."

He took me to his car. I had some people clean me off a a field, but they wouldn't do it, with the 3 and a half feet if snow all over it, so I found an indoor place. I'll just be you and me."

I beamed. “Aww Sid, you didn’t have to do that!”

He shrugged, “I think I do actually. Look, I feel really bad about junior high. Sophie told me I ruined it for you. And then you told me the same thing.” He hung his head.

I really just wish we would both just forget. “Look, I wouldn’t say you ruined it.” His hazel eyes were mesmerizing and I felt myself left with nothing to say as I stared into his gaze. I felt like I was going to melt under his beautiful stare. And as he smiled I really felt like I had died and gone to heaven. I had no business here, with him.

I finally snapped out of it. I sat down on the leather seats of his car. We talked a little bit about softball in the car. The last game I played, the first game I played. How many years I played, who was on my team, what was my favorite position on the field, infield or outfield and so much more.

“Remember that snobby girl, what was her name, Alison Young? She was always ‘better.’ The coaches liked her better, she played first base all the time, and cried a lot whenever she didn’t make a play. The asshole didn’t even know how to play. She would just stand there are try to get the attention of the boys who would sometimes come to watch, you know? When she finally quit I started at first base, and I turned the team around.” I admitted. “I would play every position though, and I just loved it. My life did revolve around the sport.” I looked him in the eye.

He nodded. “I’m really sorry about what I said last night. I was being totally unreasonable.”

I his hard arm lightly, “Stop being sorry, Sid! It’s really all okay. We’re all good.” I laughed at myself.

He locked eyes with me again, as he stopped the car at the red light. “I don’t think so. I feel like I owe you something.”

I shook my head. “No you don’t Sid, stop this!”

Sidney smiled, his white teeth were really noticeable against his red sweatshirt. I was just lost in him. Serena was right, he really was hot now.

Soon enough, we arrived at a small arena. “It’s really for kids, but I think it’s okay, right?”

I wrapped my arms around him, “It’s PERFECT! Thank you so much Sidney! It is the most perfect thing ever!” Again, my emotions were getting the best of me again, but I couldn’t help it.

Sidney handed me his sister Taylor’s old glove. “She played longer than me. Her glove is broken in for you.”

I was in shock at the quality of the glove. So much better than mine. But my glove was mine, and I loved it, even if it was coming apart. I couldn’t imagine having any other glove, but if Sidney told me to take this one, I wouldn’t put up much of a fight. It was beautiful, and had a really nice feel to it.

Sidney tossed me a neon softball. “Alright, you wanna start? I’m as out of practice as you are!” I nodded, and felt the seams. I could tell it had been a while, I couldn’t find my grip. After I did, I flung it across the open turf to Sidney.

He just watched it fly by him, with out even putting his glove up. He was in shock for a moment. “Oh my GOD!” He screamed, “That was freaking AMAZING!”

His eyes made contact with mine, and I could see he was really honestly surprised. He took off to go get it, as it slid further from Sidney and closer to the wall.

I was pretty impressed with myself actually, unable to believe I could fling it past him without him even trying to catch it.

Sidney called, “Ready?”

“Yeah!” I replied.

The ball flew through the air, nearing the ceiling. An easy pop up. A popper as Coach Allan would say. I held out my glove and let the softball fall into Taylor’s glove.

I gave him a triumphant smile, and showed him the ball in my glove. “I thought that was going behind you!” Sidney laughed.

I smiled too, putting as much fire as I could into the next throw. Sidney yelped in surprise when it hit his palm. “Ow! You throw hard!”

“I did start playing when I was 6 years old. That means I played for like eleven years.”

“But you haven’t played in like 7 years! I just don’t understand how you can keep all that heat in your throw!” Sidney said, still looking like he hadn’t been able to believe I had just thrown that.

I said, “If you didn’t play hockey for seven years, do you think you’d still be able to score on the best goalie in the league?”

He shrugged and smiled. “Turning it around, huh? But yeah, you’re probably right. I would, maybe. You never know.”

I just laughed.
We played for a few more hours, batting, fielding, everything.

After a while Sidney said, “Well, we might be keeping the others waiting for lunch. Ready to go? We can come back tomorrow if my arm doesn’t fall off!” He joked.

I said, “I would love too!”

Why did I ever hate him?

Or how.

How could I have hated him?
Chapter 3 Chapter 5


Shoul have split this into a million different chapters. But tell me, was it a date? What do you think?
the rest of this that I have will be posted tomorrow:)



lehtsgokari32 lehtsgokari32
An OK start. Might have to take a gander to mibba to see where you have taken this.
crosbyfan87 crosbyfan87