The Compromise

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. With the snow, and then you never answered your cell phone. I had to find that text you sent me months ago with your address and home phone number." James was caught off guard by Jess' attitude.

"I haven't heard my cell phone since, hmm, I think I left it at school! No wonder it was quiet last night! My phone is in my desk drawer. I'm sorry if you panicked," Jess explained.

"It's fine. Listen we need to talk," James started. He wanted to get to her before Sidney did. He knew Sid overheard him mention having a date the night before. He also knew that that was just the ammunition Sid needed to get Jess away from him.

"Yeah, I think we do too," Jess agreed.

"Can we meet tomorrow for coffee or lunch or something?"

"Well I wouldn't be able to do lunch considering it will be Wednesday and I have to work," Jess started.

"Damnit that's right. Well what about today? I can skip my nap. Meet me in Washington at Starbucks?"

"I don't know James. You know I hate driving in snow."

"But it's not snowing anymore. Please Jess, this is really important," James pleaded. She was silent for several seconds considering her options.

"Alright, I'll meet you there by 2. Does that work?" She asked.

"Yes, thank you. See you then," James said.

"Bye James," and with that he heard a dial tone. No 'I love yous' were exchanged, no endearing sentiments, just a goodbye.

James stared at his phone. He was starting to suspect that he was a little too late and that Jess already knew what he had been up to. Now he knew he went into full on damage control.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

James showed up thirty minutes early. He was too keyed up to order a coffee and chose to pace back and forth in the brisk cold air outside while he waited for Jess to show up.

It caught him by surprise when a gray SUV pulled up to the front door and Jess hopped out of the passenger side. Everything he wanted to tell her went out the door when he made eye contact with Sidney before he pulled away from the storefront.

He lost and he knew it. Now he just needed to make her understand why he did what he did. And pray she didn't see him as a monster.

"James?" Jess brought his attention back to her. He studied her up and down. She was bundled in a bright red wool coat that landed at her knees. Her black scarf matched her gloves and slouchy ski cap on her head. She looked warm and calm, not annoyed as she sounded earlier.

"What, did he come and get you?" James finally asked. He felt his voice crack when he said it. He had a sick feeling he wasn't going to like what she had to say.

"He came to hang out yesterday and got snowed in." James wasn't happy.

"Can we go inside? It's cold out here," Jess asked. James nodded and held the door open for her. She brushed past him and he caught a whiff of her body cream. She smelled like honey and flowers. And he loved that scent.

After they placed an order, James paid, the pair sat in the back of the coffee shop.

"Okay, I have to tell you something important too," Jess started. James heart began to race.

"You go first," James insisted.

"No no, you go. You wanted to meet today to talk, so you go," Jess said.

"How about we tell each other our news then we can discuss what it all means," James suggested. Jess nodded in agreement.

"Alright, well I've kind of been seeing someone," James said. He didn't look directly at Jess when he said it; instead he chose to play around with his coffee cup.

"Okay, for how long?" Jess asked. Still very calm James noted.

"Just a couple weeks. I met her the night you called drunk," James explained, "That sounds really bad. But we weren't on the best of terms at that point and we exchanged numbers. She texted me the following week just to see what was up and then we met up for dinner one night and the rest is history. Now you."

"I slept with Sidney," Jess blurted it out. James was not expecting that. He was floored. The wind knocked out of his lungs. He collected his thoughts before proceeding with the news.

"You what? When? How long has that been happening?" He stopped before he started yelling. How could his friend and girlfriend do that to him? Ex-girlfriend. He had no ties to her, except that he spent two years with her and thought he, at one time, wanted to marry her.

"It just happened last night. He came down because he was pissed about his concussion symptoms and one thing led to another..." Jess trailed off. She didn't waiver in telling James her news. He knew better. Sid was pissed about being benched again, but he knew he really went to Wheeling to tell Jess in person that James was dating someone else.

"Did he tell you about my blunder in the locker room yesterday? Could that have provoked this?"

"Stop James. Yes he told me, and quite frankly it was the icing on the cake. Hearing that you had been dating someone didn't upset me, it liberated me. It let me act on my own feelings for the first time in a long time." Her own feelings? He was confused.

"If you had wanted to be with him months ago you could have. Why string me along?" James couldn’t believe that she would lead him on for so long.

"I didn't know I had these feelings. I knew I loved you. I wanted so desperately to be yours. To make us work here, but we became so distant. We fought so much. The constant fights and break ups were working my nerves. I didn't have time to truly understand what I feel for Sidney." James was sad hearing her speak of their failed relationship like this.

"When did you stop loving me?" He finally asked.

"I didn't stop loving you James. I will always love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore. If you think about it, there is a major difference in those phrases."

"And you think you are in love him?"

"I am definitely finding much more difficult to deny that these feelings could be love. You think you can find love with this girl?" James thought carefully about it. Kristy wasn’t Jess by any means, but she brought a certain maturity to a potential relationship that he never had with Jess.

"Yeah, I think so. It's different and now that I think about it I don't know when I stopped being in love with you either."

"It's a messy thing, love. It breaks hearts; it messes with people's minds. I know that I don't regret a moment of our relationship in Dallas. It was everything a girl could ask for. But we moved here and it went downhill. We let it fail, and maybe it will be for the best. I'm not mad and I won't let myself be sad over this because for nearly two years I got to be yours. But now we just need see what it is like with other people," Jess explained, “I thought you’d be angrier over what Sidney and I did.”

“I thought so too. I don’t know, and I am not really sad that it happened either. I guess we are growing up and being mature about this huh?”

“Yeah I guess so,” Jess shrugged. James hesitated.

"You are my best friend. What am I going to do without you?" James asked leaning forward trying to hide behind his cup. Jess shrugged her shoulders and smirked.

"As cliché as it sounds, we will still be friends. It's not like we are walking completely away from each other. I'll still be around your scene. I just hope you don't hold all of this against Sid. None of this is his fault. He tried to never act on his feelings when he was aware we were in a good place."

"You won't ignore me if I text or call you?" He knew he couldn’t blame Sid. He always thought that Sid wasn’t out of line for falling for Jess. If she spent nearly as much time with any of the guys on the team they would see how incredibly special she was. Then they would find it difficult to hide their feelings too.

"As long as you don't, I won't. Because you're my best friend too. And I don't take too well with losing my best friend." James cracked a little smile.

"I love you, you know."

"I love you too Jimmy," Jess whispered, her head down studying what was left of her coffee.

"You were my first true love. You were a lot of firsts," James said. Until Jess he had stood by his Catholic belief of abstaining from sex until marriage. Jess had done the same, but the attraction between them was too great and within six months the pair had given it up to each other.

"Mine too babe," Jess reached across the table and squeezed his hand. An awkward silence fell between the two.

"So is she at least nice? She isn't a puck bunny after your money is she?"
“You really want to know?” Jess nodded eagerly. He was somewhat relieved at how well they were taking the news.

"No she isn't. She is a sports management major at Duquesne. Her name is Kristy. She is 22 and in her last year there,” James started.

“Ok, that’s all I need to know now. Thanks,” Jess said as she pushed slightly back from the table.

“Nothing has gone further than dinner and a movie Jess.” He didn’t know why, but he felt she needed to know that.

“Okay, but I am not quite ready to know more yet,” she explained. At that moment her phone went off indicating a text message. She glanced at James bashfully, “We stopped at my classroom to get my phone before coming up here.” James nodded; he had no reason to not believe her.

“It’s Sidney. He’s back and wondered if we were still talking,” Jess explained.

“It’s fine. I should head back to rest a bit before I head to the arena anyways,” James retorted.

They stood and walked towards the front door without saying another word. James caught sight of Sid parked down the lot a ways. James didn’t turn towards his car; rather, he walked Jess towards Sidney, startling the other man when they both approached the front of the car. Sid looked between the pair then back down at his hands, not wanting to stare.

“Well, good luck tonight. You’ve been really shining with the team,” Jess smiled.

“Yeah, thanks. He’s not coming?” James asked.

“No, he will be back in the crowd after the road trip. He didn’t want the press to be hounding him and taking away from the rest of the team,” Jess said.

“Fuck, he’s a good guy,” James mumbled into the air. Jess smiled and nodded in agreement.

“Alright, get moving. Bye Jimmy,” Jess said.

He reached for Jess as she started towards the passenger door and wrapped her up in his arms. She didn’t hesitate in returning the hug and even leaned up and kissed his cheek.

“Love you, text me,” Jess said. He nodded and released her from their embrace.

“Love you too,” James whispered as she walked to the door and climbed into the car. He made eye contact with Sid and waved at his teammate. Sid returned the gesture as he put the car into drive and started back towards Jess’s home.

Notes