The Compromise

Jessica was satisfied with the final touches she came up with for her sweater, adding the four Christmas pins she received from students as gifts during the Christmas party on the last day before break.

Finding her best mom jeans and snapping the sweater up she was ready to have some fun with Sid and his teammates. Sid seemed a bit disgruntled about having to wear his hideous sweater, but Jess knew he'd go along with it to make her happy.

They spent the better part of the afternoon in bed, Sid fulfilling Jess' poker winnings and Jess reciprocating the favor. It was exactly how Sid planned on spending the afternoon because in the coming days his family would be arriving and time alone together would be limited until the New Year.

Now they were arriving at the Fluerys' house for their annual ugly Christmas sweater party and Jess was all of a sudden nervous. She was nervous because she hadn't met the entire team yet, and the players she had met was when she was with James.

Then there was James. She had only spoken to him a few times via text since their talk just a couple weeks ago. She wondered if he would be bringing this Kristy girl he had gone out with those few times or if he would be by himself.

She pushed all nervous thoughts to the back of her mind and reached for Sidney's hand as they walked through the front door of the team's goalie.

"They aren't married yet, right?" Jess whispered as she leaned in close to Sid.

"Right, this summer they are getting married."

"And her name is Veronica?"

"Veronique. French Canadian. We all call her Vero though. I'm sure she will introduce herself as such too," Sid squeezed her hand in reassurance.

"I really hope none of them are judging me." Sid stopped in the foyer of the expansive house, turned around and pulled Jess to him.

"These guys aren't going to be doing such a thing. Trust me," Sid began.

"But it's not like they know the whole story," Jess said getting defensive.

"They know enough to know they should leave well enough alone," Sid said. He reached for a loose strand of hair and tucked it behind Jess' ear. He brushed his lips against her forehead and slung his arm over her shoulder.

"Come on, I'm famished. You wore me out today," Sid chided. Jess broke into a huge grin and squeezed his midsection.

"There's more where that came from later tonight." Sid's face lit up at this.

"You're insatiable," he teased. Leaning close to her ear he said,"I'm sure we can find a bathroom or something upstairs if the need arises."

Jess felt her cheeks warm up at the thought of Sidney and her sneaking off from the party to get off. She wouldn't do it, but she was really liking the mischievous nature of Sidney's words.

"Alright you two, I don't know what you're whispering about over there and I'm betting I don't want to know! But there are plenty of others here who would like to enjoy your company!" Marc-Andre declared as he walked up to the pair, weaseled his way in between and slung his arm across Jess' shoulder.

"How much egg nog have you had already?" Sid asked noticing the crystal glass filled with the popular holiday beverage.

"It's not spiked. I promise, come on tons of people are already here!" He exclaimed ushering Jess off with him leaving Sidney to his own devices.

"Look who finally decided to grace us with her presence! The allusive Jessica! Welcome, welcome. Jessica this is everybody, everybody this is Jessica."

Jess was overwhelmed. She stood front and center surrounded by a dozen players and their significant others and she could only pick out a few faces. She had been to several games, but never took to sitting with other significant others and she never stuck around to the end; opting instead to head home right after the game, whether it was to Sid’s or James’ places.

She noticed Sidney wasn't in the room and searched the crowd for anyone she could recognize and hopefully take the attention away from her. She made eye contact with the only other person in the room that knew her better than Sid. And he had a shy smile on his face as he studied her. Relief washed over Jess as she and James continued to stare at one another. But a raven haired woman broke their connection when she stepped right into Jess' line of vision.

“Jessica! I am so happy to finally meet you!” Veronique, Marc’s fiancé exclaimed enthusiastically. She caught Jess off guard by taking her in a hug and squeezing tightly. Jess instantly felt welcomed by the embrace and returned the hug.

“You have a beautiful home! Thank you for inviting me to the party,” Jess said as the women pulled apart from one another.

“Oh thank you! And I couldn’t imagine Sid coming without you. You are pretty much all he talks about to Marc anymore.” Jess blushed at this, she had no idea that Sidney was open to his teammates about their relationship. “Listen, get something to drink, there is plenty of food and music is playing in the great room. Dancing will most likely ensue. And some of the guys tend to bust out in a rousing poker game.” Sidney stifled a laugh causing both women to turn around to see what he was laughing at.

“What Sid?” Vero asked as she noticed the couple exchanging a look indicating a secret.

“Oh nothing, hi Vero,” he said as he leaned in and kissed the French woman on the cheek.

“Hi handsome. Get something to eat you guys! I will catch up with you later,” Vero said as she walked away towards the door where someone else was walking in.

“We’re getting you into that game,” Sid whispered causing Jess to laugh loudly.

The party continued with a bang. And Jess was thrilled that the teammates she had never met were as welcoming as Sidney claimed they would be. Now Sid had her seated in between Craig Adams, and Pascal Dupuis as she was being dealt into a hand of poker along with Jordan Staal, Deryk Engelland and Brent Johnson. Several other guys were hanging around the table anticipating what will happen.

James walked into the room and caught sight of Jessica sitting at the table with all the guys. The room was relatively quiet as each player studied the cards in their hands. James made eye contact with Sid and started laughing, disrupting the relatively quiet room. All eyes were on him except Jess, she was studying her hand.

“Shut up Jimmy,” she said without looking around the room. A chorus “yeah Jimmy!” and “oh Jimmy shut up!” in sing-song voices erupted trying to sound like how Jess just spoke to James. He was more embarrassed by it than she was, as she was the only person he ever allowed to call her Jimmy.

“Hey, I didn’t say anything!” James walked around the table and stood next to Sid, glancing briefly at Jess’ hand.

An hour later, Jess finally decided she was done playing.

“Okay, someone of lesser skill can take my place. I am tired of taking all their money,” Jess claimed as she stood. She managed to take six of eight hands dealt.

“How did you do that?” Pascal asked, amazed. She shrugged her shoulders as she settled her bets and turned towards the two men still hovering over her chair.

“Thanks for nearly blowing my cover,” Jess directed her comment towards James.

“I didn’t tell them that you are a shark,” James defended.

“I want to go to Vegas with her,” Sid piped in. James nodded in agreement and the guys proceeded to discuss a potential trip out west. She pushed past Sid and James towards the kitchen to claim a drink. Sid took over her seat and continued to play in her place assuring the rest of the guys that he doesn’t know a single trick of Jess’.

James found Jess standing by herself leaning against a counter in the kitchen, sipping slowly on a glass of wine.

“Hey,” James said. Jess’s face broke into a smile.

“Hi, glad you are here,” Jess said. She offered him a hug and was happy when he didn’t hesitate to return to gesture.

“I wanted to give you something,” he said. Jess looked at him puzzled. “I ordered it months ago and no one else will get its meaning.”

“James, you didn’t have to, you could have returned it,” Jess started. She felt bad that he had a gift for her. He shook his head at her as though the idea of returning the gift was preposterous.

“I had this made for you. It’s one of a kind,” James explained.

“Oh, I see,” Jess glanced at her wine glass.

“Come with me? I have it in my coat pocket.” Jess placed her glass down and followed James towards the steps to the spare bedroom that was a makeshift coat closet for the high volume of outerwear.

“Where’s your girl? I thought I’d get to meet her,” Jess asked, attempting to make small talk with her ex.

“Uh, yeah. That didn’t work out as anticipated,” James said as they entered the bedroom. James and Jess scoured through the scattered coats on the queen size bed.

“James, I’m so sorry,” Jess said. She did feel bad that the first person James was interested in ended up not lasting a month.

“Eh, it’s okay. Kristy was nice but she wasn’t all into the idea of being with me,” James explained as he succeeded in finding his coat. He sat down and pulled a card and a little square box out of the inside breast pocket. He handed the gift over to her and as she started to open the card he stilled her hands.

“What do you mean? A hockey player? Professional athlete?” She wasn’t certain why this girl wouldn’t want to be with him. He was a catch. She could only assume it was because of his hectic schedule.

“No, someone still in love with his ex-girlfriend,” James said.

“James,” Jess felt her heart constrict. His words were crushing her. He quickly changed the subject.

“Open the gift first. You can read the card when you are alone,” James said. Jess was confused by his actions, but went along with it. She reached for the box in her lap and began tearing the red and green paper off. She got to a silver box and glanced at James. He was watching her with sadness in his eyes.

Her heart began to race. She knew that look and she got anxious over it. Her hands shook as she began to lift the lid off the box. She gasped when she saw the intricate design of the necklace placed perfectly in the center of the box.

“Oh Jimmy,” she whispered, afraid to touch the sterling silver chain containing a single charm. He reached over and took the box from Jess and began to remove the necklace.

“I came up with the idea when I was working with that jeweler last spring. I know how important home is for you and I wanted it to always be close to your heart,” James explained as he ran his fingers along the charm shaped like West Virginia. A tiny diamond rest in the panhandle where Jess lived and a heart cut through where the capitol was located. “I had this in mind when I thought we would be married and who knows where my career would take us.”

“It’s beautiful. Will you put it on me?” Jess asked. He nodded and Jess turned so James could place the chain around her neck. His fingers brushed her neck and a chill ran down her spine. They lingered longer than they should after he clasped the necklace in place, and Jess turned around slower trying to compose herself. She was biting back tears threatening to spill over.

When she turned around she noticed his eyes glistened with tears too and she felt the dam break. He pulled her to him and both let their tears fall.

“Alright, we can’t be sad. We decided this was good for us,” Jess said, but she didn’t pull away from James. She felt him nodding in agreement. She wiped her tears away, and finally pushed away from their embrace.

James forced a little smile but didn’t make an effort to hide his tears.

“Thank you for my gift, I will cherish it forever,” Jess whispered as she looked down to see the charm lying on her sweater. She lifted it, brought it to her lips and kissed it. James stood and without another word walked out the door leaving Jess to stare at her present. She remembered the card he insisted she read after he was gone. She had to smile because he knew she loved reading a card before opening a gift.

She ripped open the envelope and pulled out the card. It didn’t say anything on the cover, but had a simple peacock feather. She nearly broke down when she realize it was from a stack of blank cards she always kept in stock just in case she needed to send a quick thank you or note to someone. She must have left them at his place when she moved out.

Carefully she opened the card and scribbled as neatly as possible and in as small of print as he could manage, James wrote a letter covering both blank panels and part of the back of the card. She took a deep, shaky breath and began to read:

Dear Jessica,

You know I have never been good with words, so I turned to one of the great composers, Ludwig Van Beethoven, to say to you what I have been meaning to say.

Good morning, on 7 July

Even in bed my ideas yearn towards you, my Immortal Beloved, here and there joyfully, then again sadly, awaiting from Fate, whether it will listen to us. I can only live, either altogether with you or not at all. Yes, I have determined to wander about for so long far away, until I can fly into your arms and call myself quite at home with you, can send my soul enveloped by yours into the realm of spirits – yes, I regret, it must be. You will get over it all the more as you know my faithfulness to you; never another one can own my heart, never – never! O God, why must one go away from what one loves so, and yet my life in W. as it is now is a miserable life. Your love made me the happiest and unhappiest at the same time. At my actual age I should need some continuity, sameness of life – can that exist under our every day – and must close therefore, so that you get the L., at once. Be calm – love me – to-day – yesterday.

What longing in tears for you – You – my Life – my All – farewell. Oh go on loving me – never doubt the faithfullest heart

Of your beloved
L.
Ever thine.
Ever mine.
Ever ours.

Your Jimmy

Jess lost all composure, curled up on the jackets and cried. When she finally pulled herself together, she found her coat, tucked the card into her pocket then managed to walk downstairs without letting on that she had been crying. She searched for James, but he wasn’t in any rooms that the party occupied. She asked Vero who said she saw him leave about fifteen minutes before. She did find Sidney, chatting with Geno and his girlfriend in the great room.

“Hey! There you are, where did you go?” Sid asked as he pulled her close to his side. He caught a glimpse of the new piece of jewelry around her neck, but said nothing.

“I was just chatting with James,” and the origin of the piece of jewelry fell into place. He didn’t say anything about it though because Jess secured a grip around Sid’s waist and kissed his neck. “Wanna get out of here?” She asked. Sid pressed his cheek against her forehead and nodded.

“I’ll go get our coats” Sid said. He left Jess to chat with his teammate and rushed towards the bedroom in search of their outerwear. He found his first, put it on and located the bright red wool coat belonging to his girlfriend. When he pulled it out of the stack of coats, the card James had given her fell out of the pocket. Curious, Sid opened the card and read the contents. He sat on the bed, re-read the contents and continued to absorb what it all meant.

He knew he was taking too long, placed the card back into the pocket and went to meet Jessica down at the door. He placed the coat around her, and pulled her to him crushing his lips against hers.

“I love you,” Jessica said as he pulled away. It was almost as though she knew he saw the letter and wanted him to know that her feelings for him were no different than before. A bit of the bile building up inside his stomach descended and the butterflies seemed to disappear. He studied her face closely, saw that she meant it and kissed her again.

“I love you too,” he whispered back. He was certain of it.

Notes