The Compromise

Flying out of the city so late at night was the way to go. Jessica saw virtually no line at the security check point, and no one seemed to notice her and James being escorted to the checkpoint by Sidney. Jessica stopped at the entrance to the line while James walked ahead to be searched. She turned to Sid who opened his arms to her. She collapsed into his embrace and felt the warmth of his body surround her.

“I’ll see you on Thursday then,” Sidney whispered. Jess shook her head but wouldn’t pull away from him. “James is already through security baby. You have your passport?” Jess showed him her passport along with her ticket without moving away from his embrace.

“I didn’t want to spend my break away from you!” Jess exclaimed as she lifted her head from Sid’s shoulder. Sid wiped the silent tears escaping from Jess’ eyes with his thumbs.

“Hey, it’s okay. Life happens,” Sidney brushed his knuckles along her cheek, “We have all summer.”

Jess nodded her head, gripped the collar of his jacket and pulled him in for a kiss. “I’ll call you once I am checked into the hotel.”

It was Sid’s turn to nod his head, “I love you.”

“I love you too, so much,” Jess pressed her lips to his one more time before turning and walking directly up to the TSA employee with her ticket in hand. She turned to wave at Sid when she got through security. He smiled and waved back, then turned to walk away. She turned to James, who appeared to be quietly crying again, and looped her arm through his to pull him along to the gate.

The short flight was not filled and there were plenty of empty seats in first class. Jess and James settled in their seats and before long sleep crept over James, head resting against Jess’ shoulder. About an hour later, Jess was shaking James awake telling him that they were in Toronto.

After getting through customs, retrieving the rental car that Troy arranged for them, Jess took the keys to get in the driver’s side when James stopped her.

“I’ll drive Jess, you aren’t familiar with this area,” he said. He gave her a sad smile and reached for the keys.

“No, you just need to relax. I have the GPS set up, I can get us to Whitby,” Jess argued. She wouldn’t let go of the keys.

“Please, I need to do something,” James whispered looking down at the ground, “I don’t want to think about it.”

Jess choked back on a sob and nodded. Before she turned the keys over she pulled James into a bone crushing hug.

“Thanks for being here,” he said into her shoulder.

“Absolutely,” Jess said. She handed him the keys, understanding that he wanted to be occupied rather than thinking about what has happened, and walked around to the passenger side.

The drive was just as quiet as the flight to Canada, with the exception of James sleeping on the plane. They didn’t speak; they didn’t really have anything to say to each other. Jess didn’t want to sound cliché and say how sorry she was again. James should know that just her being there was giving him more support than words would allow.

They arrived in Whitby in under an hour and pulled up to James’ parents’ house around 4:30 in the morning. Jess waited by the car and watched as James walked up to the front door before turning back towards the rental car.

“Where are you going?” James asked from the entryway to the house.

“I’ve got a reservation at the residence inn,” Jess explained as James shook his head and started back towards the car.

“Please, stay here tonight Jess. I would rather you not be driving there alone this late. You haven’t slept at all. I’ll take you over later today after we’ve both slept,” James reasoned. Jess felt uncomfortable agreeing to stay with him. “Please, Jess. Just for tonight.”

Jess reluctantly agreed, grabbed her bag and walked with James into the familiar house and upstairs towards his room.

“Let me just put my bag in your room and I can go sleep on the couch,” Jess said quietly so not to disturb any of James’ siblings that may be sleeping.

“No, you can sleep in here. I’ll go sleep on the couch,” James said.

“This is your house Jimmy and I can actually fit on your parents’ couch. You won’t be comfortable,” Jess argued.

“Then neither of us will sleep in the bed,” James pulled a pillow off of it and started to lie on the floor.

“You are so stubborn! Get in the bed!” Jess said sternly.

“You can’t make me, I’m a grown man,” James said as he reached for an afghan off the edge of his old bed.

“Ugh!” Jess stamped her foot in anger and watched as James settled himself on the floor. His phone started to ring then and he looked at Jess signaling that he would like to take the call in private.

Jess grabbed her phone and walked out of the room as quickly and quietly as she could. She needed to check in with Sidney and even though he would be asleep, she knew he would answer. Secretly she hoped he wouldn’t answer and she could just leave a quick message and try to sleep herself. She settled into the couch in the family room, pulled an extra blanket onto her lap and dialed Sid’s number. He answered on the fourth ring.

“Hello?” Sid asked sleepily. She pushed back tears that threatened to spill over. She wished she could be with him in his bed, sleeping soundly. Instead, she was nearly 400 miles away helping her ex cope with the loss of his father. Her heart broke for James and his family; no one should have to go through this so young.

“Hey you, I didn’t want you to wake up. I just wanted you to know that we made it with no problems,” Jess said.

“And you’re settled in your room already?” Sidney asked. She imagined him moving to sit up so he could talk to her, or burrowing under the covers with his phone perched against his shoulder.

“Uh, I didn’t go to the hotel,” Jess began.

“What?” His voice raised and he sounded a bit more alert.

“Let me explain babe. James was adamant about not letting me drive on no sleep. So I am sleeping on the couch here tonight then going over there when I wake up to check in.”

“Where is James now?”

“When I came downstairs he was lying on his bedroom floor talking to the girlfriend,” Jess said.

“I bet it is going to go over really well that you are there with her,” Sidney chuckled.

“You’re the one who put me on the plane sir!” Jess reminded Sidney.

“I know babe, you need to be there for them. Will you let me know the details? I will relay the information to the front office.”

“Yes, as soon as I know something I will let you know.” Jess could feel the effects of the long, draining day take over and knew sleep wasn’t far behind.

“Alright, go to sleep babe. We will talk later.” Jess nodded her head as though Sid could see her.

“I love you Sid,” she said as her eyes drifted close.

“Love you too babe,” Sid said before ending the call.
Just hearing Sid’s voice made Jess a bit more at ease and minutes after ending the call sleep consumed her. Jess felt herself being shifted around and cracked her eyes to find sandy brown hair resting on her chest and arms wrapped around her waist.

"Hey," she whispered when she realized James managed to squeeze onto the couch with her.

"Couldn't sleep on the floor," he mumbled into her neck.

"You have a bed you know," Jess stated the obvious.

"I offered that to you," James said.

"And now we are cramped together on the couch."

"Come upstairs. No funny business. I promise." James rubbed his nose against Jess' collarbone tickling her.

"Stop! Fine, but only tonight. I'm staying at the hotel tomorrow," Jess said pushing James off of her. He rolled to the floor dramatically and faked being injured. "Oh stop. Before you wake everyone up!"

Jess led James to his room where they collapsed on the bed, but sleep still didn't come easy for the pair.

"Was that the lady friend who was calling you?"

"Yeah, piss ass drunk and wondering where I was," James explained.

"Did that upset you?" Jess got cozy under the covers and turned onto her side facing James.

"No, I expected it. She was out celebrating her friend’s birthday. She said she is coming up here," James shrugged.

"What's her name? Tell me about her," Jess pressed.

“I already told you about her, Jess.” Jess wracked her brain to recall a conversation she may have had in the last fourteen hours that involved James telling her about the girl he was seeing. “Kristy, the sports management major at Duquesne. We ran into each other after the holidays and decided to try seeing each other again. It’s been working out pretty well so far.” Jess smiled.

“I’m happy that things are working out for you the second time around,” Jess said. James nodded in agreement and shifted on his side to face the wall. Jess knew that the conversation was over.

“Night James,” she whispered, but his heavy breathing indicated that he didn’t hear her.

******************************************************************************

It seemed like only a couple hours when Jess was roused from her light slumber. Glancing at her phone which set on the night stand she saw that she had slept almost the entire morning away. It was going on 12:30 when she felt the bed dip and a petite hand shaking her shoulder.

“Jess! Wake up!” Rebecca said in a loud whisper.

Jess groaned and opened an eye to glance at James’ little sister. “Why?”

“Come down and see the spectacle that is about to unfold between James and this girl he’s been seeing!” Jess sat up quickly, reached for her glasses and grabbed her phone on the night stand.

She walked closely behind Becca as the pair snuck down the stairs to listen in on the conversation happening in the kitchen.

“And she had to be the one to fly up here with you, huh?” A shrill nasally voice squealed.

“Sid’s dad booked the flight and you were out with your friends!”

“You could have called me!”

“I did call you. Five times! Each time I left you a message,” James said exasperatedly, “Listen, did you drive the six hours here to fight with me or to show my family some support? I don’t really want to be fighting over this right now.” James sounded defeated. Jess caught a glimpse of him and noticed how his shoulders were slumped and he had dark circles forming under his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting to see your ex-girlfriend here before me. That’s all.”

“She is being a friend and support system for my family. She was very much a part of this family for a long time. You’re just going to have to get used to her being here.” James sounded a bit more defiant when speaking of Jess.

“They’ve been going at it since she got here,” Becca whispered to Jess, “I showed her where James’ room was and she walked right in to find you two asleep. I can’t believe you didn’t wake up then.”

“Well, I can see why it looked bad for him. We were sleeping in his bed. I am going to get my bag and go check into my hotel. Want to go with? I need to go to the mall too.”

“Yes, get me out of here. Away from all this sadness,” Becca looked down at her hands that were clasped together across her midsection. Jess reached out to her and wrapped her in a hug.

“Love you blondie,” Jess said.

Becca reciprocated the hug. “I’m glad you’re here,” she said back.

Jess managed to avoid James and Kristy, completely sidestepping an awkward introduction, and left the house with Rebecca and her things to go check into her hotel. She hadn’t heard from Sidney yet that day, which she expected since it was a game day. And even though he wasn’t playing she felt he was trying to get back into his routine, a routine that would involve somewhat avoiding Jess before the game.

In fact Jess managed to keep a safe distance from James and Kristy until Tuesday morning when the family would be brought together for the showing at the funeral home. Jess had spent the rest of Sunday and all day Monday with Rebecca and Mrs. Neal, helping with arrangements and seeing that the family completed simple tasks like eating and sleeping. It occupied her time and allowed for her to do something that the Neals would appreciate.

When Tuesday morning came Jess got ready slowly, prolonging her avoidance of the inevitably sad day ahead. Just as she was putting the finishing touches on her makeup her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I’ll be by to pick you up in ten minutes,” James said. Jess assumed she would drive to the funeral home on her own, and started to protest but James refused to hear it.

“I’d like to have some company on the drive over,” James insisted.

“What about Kristy?”

“She is staying here. She said she doesn’t do funeral homes.” Jess could hear how irritated he was by his girlfriend’s refusal to be supportive.

“Oh ok, well I will be down in the lobby waiting,” Jess said and hung up her phone. She shot Sidney a quick text explaining that she would be at the funeral home for the duration of the day and that she would call when she gets back to her room later that night. Jess climbed into James’ car when he pulled up to the front of the hotel and gave him a look when she settled into the passenger seat.

“Please don’t start. I have already heard it from my mom and sister,” James said while focusing on the road in front of him. “I am ending it. I didn’t think she would be such a selfish bitch when I am trying to grieve here.”

“I wasn’t going to say it, but I am glad you see it. Her behavior has been nothing short of a drama queen,” Jess said.

“I told her to stay behind and get her things together. I didn’t want her there when I get back tonight,” James explained.

“Good.”

Nothing else was said between the two and the silence was deafening. The sound of a text message broke up the monotony of the drive. Jess felt her eyes well up when she saw that Sid replied with a simple love you. She was used to going days without seeing him, but given the circumstances she felt her walls were cracking.

The day progressed with a flurry of activity. Relatives, friends, and people who only met Peter in passing stopped throughout the day to share their condolences. Many would just walk past the children with sad smiles and quick hugs or handshakes. Others would chat for a few minutes then proceed to sit or remain close by to catch up with others. Jess observed how Mrs. Neal and Rebecca seemed to be crying nonstop as the boys stood close by holding their mother and sister securely in their arms. Jess remained standing next to James and when his grandmother walked in he turned his back on the mourners and gripped Jess’ hand hard.

“It’s okay Jimmy,” Jess said into his shoulder and rubbed his arm that held fast to her hand. She discreetly handed him a tissue and watched as his grandmother made it to her eldest grandchild.

“Hello darling,” she said as Jess leaned over for a brief hug. James let go of her hand and turned around to face his grandmother.

“Hi Nana,” James said and hugged the elderly woman tightly.

“I’m happy to see that things are working out with you two,” his mom’s mother said.

“Oh, no. We are just friends Nana. Nothing more. But I am glad she is here,” James explained as he held his grandmother at arm’s length. She nodded and tapped her hand against his cheek then looked over to Jessica. Jess smiled at their interaction and was relieved that James didn’t try to reach for Jess anymore. If his grandmother suspected a reunion, she assumed other relatives were suspicious as well. She was happy that they did not have to explain to anyone else that they were just friends and Jess was just showing her support.

The day came to an end without conflict. Jess was touched by the outpouring of love and support the Neals got. She found it difficult to hold back her tears, but she knew she had to for James and his brothers, all of whom did their best to keep their emotions in check. After the emotionally draining day Jess was glad to be back in her room. She wanted to take a long hot bath and talk to Sidney. She hadn’t actually spoken to him since the night before. And the thought of having a conversation that didn’t end in tears was what she needed. She had the funeral the next day and then she would board a flight in Toronto for New York City where she would be with Sid’s family for the rest of the week.

She turned on the water to get it hot and ready to fill the tub and reached for her phone to call Sidney. But when she dialed his number it went directly to voicemail.

“Maybe he is trying to call me,” she thought out loud. She added some bath salts and bubbles to the tub and began to undress before she tried to call again. Again, she got his voicemail. Turning off the water, she grabbed the complimentary bathrobe and threw it around her bare shoulders. She tried her best to hold back from crying, but she had been doing that all day. The tears began to flow freely. She cried for James and his family, for his dad especially, but she also cried because she missed Sidney and she couldn’t get a hold of him. He was usually so reachable even when they were apart. Now he wasn’t answering and thoughts were running through her head. She sunk to the floor next to the bed and let the tears take over.

But she found that crying wasn’t helping and barely heard the knock on the door to her room. It wasn’t until the light knocking turned to a pounding noise that she was jarred out of her fit. She quickly rose from the floor, tried her best to compose herself, but when the pounding became persistent she gave up in stopping the tears and went to the door. Turning the deadbolt and releasing the chain, she pulled the door open.

“Sidney!” She gasped.

She wasn’t expecting him, but there he stood in a suit with his garment bag on his shoulder. She threw her arms around his neck and allowed her tears to turn into loud sobs as she buried her face into his freshly shaved neck. He enveloped her in his muscular arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Sidney whispered, “Come on Jess, let’s get inside.”

“You’re really here,” Jess sobbed as Sidney pushed her into the room, closing the door behind him with a click.

“I’m really here,” he said back.

Notes