The Compromise

She tried calling back, but he wouldn't answer. In fact her calls were directed straight to voicemail. She sat on the floor in a daze, letting her tears fall freely when the door creaked open and James entered her room.

"I'm guessing dinner is out." He tried making her laugh, but failed. His attempt at being funny only made her cry harder. He sat down next to her and let her rest her head on his shoulder. "Fighting over me eh?"

"It's like all of the insecurities we had in our relationship last year have just been directed into this relationship. I don't get it! Sid is so level headed and calm."

"I do Jess. He's threatened by me. Want me to talk to him?"

"You're the last person I want talking to him! Maybe you should go."

"Do you want me to go?"

"No. I want Sid to not be insecure all of a sudden."

"Yeah, what happened between you two?"

"You've noticed something huh?"

"I am certain the entire team noticed something."

Jess sat up straight and turned to face James. He settled against the bed frame and waited to hear the story she was finally prepared to tell someone. She never anticipated James being the one to hear it though.

"I was pregnant."

James was surprised, but did his best to hide it.

"Jess, you didn't?" He hesitated in asking her what he truly wanted to say.

"I miscarried. Planned or not, I would never do what you are thinking."

"You'd be an awesome mom." It was his way of saying sorry for such a blow.

"Yeah, well anyways. We found out I was pregnant and we accepted that we were going to be parents. We even got excited at the prospect of having a child. But when we went for the first ultrasound appointment the doctor found nothing. Our child was ripped right out from us, literally. I didn't pass the fetus so the doctor had to do a procedure to remove it. "

"Jess that's terrible. Why didn't either of you say something? Coach rode Sid pretty hard because he was playing shitty! But here you guys were grieving. There would have been so much support!"

"I think it was more he was scared for me. I completely shut down. I only got out of bed for work and to eat. I didn't reach out to anyone and any free time he had he spent driving down here to be with me. He was exhausted. The night after the final game he came down and passed out. It was the soundest sleep he had in over a month."

"So what just happened?"

"He is viewing you as a threat all of a sudden and I don't know why. He's never like this."

"Yeah that doesn't sound like him at all. What happened on the phone?"

"He's in Cole Harbour for the week visiting his parents. He got all snippy with me because you are here, but he never gave me a chance to explain." She leaned back on her hands and felt her eyes sting with fresh tears. "And I told him we should take a break and then he hung up on me and now he won't answer his phone!" She said in one breath. She pulled her knees up and collapsed over her legs.

"Do you want to be on a break?" James asked as he reached over and rubbed her shoulder.

“No! I don’t! I want to be with him, all the time. And it’s frightening and thrilling all the same. I know I shouldn’t be pouring all of this out on you. It’s not fair to you, and it only makes me that much more pathetic.” She looked up at James who was flashing her a sympathetic half-smile.

“Can I offer up some advice?” He finally asked.

“Yeah, sure.” She crossed her legs and wiped the tears off of her face.

“It seems to me that how he is acting is some sort of coping mechanism for what happened to you. He is being overly protective and maybe you and I being friends isn’t such a good idea considering the circumstances. I know my place Jess, and he may think that I secretly desire you still, but I don’t. I want to be friends to you both and be a shoulder to cry on when things get rough like now. You were incredible when my dad died, but you were reluctant to be so involved that week and it was only because of Sid that you were. He wasn’t expecting his first child to die, and he probably blames himself in a way. How else can he act but extra cautious with you? I know I would if I were ever presented with that situation.”

Jess took a few minutes to consider his words. “You are going to be a great friend one of these days. It's probably better if we are just friends from a distance.”

James snickered and rolled his eyes at Jess. “I’m gonna go. I told Pauly that I would be home in time to go out for drinks tonight. Pirates are on late because they are out west and we want to watch it. You need to try to get a hold of him and work this mess out.” Jess watched as James stood and accepted his outstretched hand in order to stand up. She walked him to the door, gave him a brief hug and watched as he walked towards his car. Waving to acknowledge him as he left, she turned inside locked the door and tried Sidney again. She needed to make some sense of the situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But Jessica never got a hold of Sidney that night, or the following day. She even tried calling Trina to see if he would talk to her through his mom. But when Trina answered her phone she seemed happy to hear from Jess, yet regretful in informing her that Sid had gone to Halifax to train for a couple days. She was relieved to hear that Trina seemed oblivious to the misunderstanding between the pair, Sid hadn’t told his mom. Strangely, this provided Jess with some sort of twisted comfort. It was like he wasn’t accepting what she said, but giving her the space that she really didn’t want but said she needed so hastily.

Jess went through the motions at school, plastered a fake cheerful face on and made it through the rest of the week without a word from Sidney. She continued calling him; she left him countless voicemails and texts that probably went unnoticed. She didn’t care. She was determined to reach him some way because as she went through the rest of the week she grew more and more certain that she couldn’t be without him, ever. She made a mistake by saying she wanted a break.

After classes on Friday Jessica grabbed her bags and walked out of school towards her car without speaking to any other teachers on her way out. She needed to get home, grab her suitcase and get to Pittsburgh. She knew Sid’s flight information and she wanted to be at the airport when he landed, in the hopes to intercept him and finally talk to him. She knew he had no way of getting back to his house; she had driven him to the airport early Monday morning before heading back down to Wheeling for school. He would either rely on a teammate or a taxi service.

She arrived home, began to open her door when she noticed a figure moving in her living room. Afraid to go in, she reached for her phone to call the cops. As she was about to dial 911 the door flew open to reveal Sidney. “I was about to call the cops! What the hell Sid?” She pushed past him without hearing him say that he came straight there after his earlier flight landed.

“Where’s your car? How did you get here? You didn’t pay for a cab to drive you all the way down here did you?” Jess rambled on as she moved around her kitchen unpacking her half-eaten lunch.

“I got an airport limousine service to bring me down here. I let myself in with the key you gave me. I hope that that’s okay.”

Jess was thrilled that he was here, but she was also pissed that he ignored her all week. She found it hard to hide her emotions and he could see that her anger was escalating.

“Why didn’t you answer any of my calls? Or texts? What have you been doing all week?”

“I was giving us a break, that’s what you wanted isn’t it?”

“No! I spoke hastily! I don’t ever want a break from you! I want you here with me all the time and that is scary, but it’s true. And then you just disappear! I called your mom, you know that?”

“I do.”

“I take it you didn’t tell her that ‘we were on a break’?” Jess emphasized the last part of her question with some air quotes.

"I didn't."

"And you came here to talk, so talk." She crossed her arms across her chest and stood defiant in the living room. Sid looked back standing near the front door.

"If you want me to be a part of your life and if I am as important as you claim I am then I want you to stay away from James."

"So you want to control me?"

"Did I say I want to control you?"

"That's how it feels!"

"Do you want to be with me or not, Jess? Because I'm ready to be in a mature, drama free, adult relationship."

"I thought that is what we were in then you started acting all jealous! Then you disappeared!"

"I went to visit my parents! What the fuck? I wasn't flocking to an ex when you were hundreds of miles away from me!"

"And again, that was all my brother! He invited James last minute because he asked about you and I told him you were going home!"

"Oh really? Didn't think that maybe I'd push back my trip for the chance to hang out with them? Are you trying to shield me from your family? Are you embarrassed by me or something?"

"No more than you are afraid to tell the public that you have a girlfriend! You think I can't handle being a hockey girlfriend? You think I don't have thick enough skin to handle what could be said about me?"

"None of this makes sense Jessica! Are we kidding ourselves? Why is this so hard?"

"Why are you being a stubborn ass?"

"Why don't you just shut up and move in with me already?"

"Fine! I will!" Jess angrily agreed.

"Good!"

He stared at her for a long second, and for a moment Jessica thought she'd pushed him too far, that he would retaliate to her physical aggression in a like-minded manner. For a moment it appeared like her suspicions were correct when he grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and pushed her back against the wall, but it took her entirely by surprise when he forced his mouth over hers. She pushed him away and as he stumbled backwards she caught the look in his eyes; that he knew he had crossed an unspoken boundary and was fearful of the consequences.

They hovered awkwardly in the hall for a moment, before Jessica returned the favor. Without really knowing why she was doing it, she grabbed hold of the front of his shirt and pushed him forcefully against the opposite wall, pressing her lips to his, invading his mouth with her tongue. She pulled away for a moment and his eyes were wide open, completely dumbstruck.

It didn't take long for him to come back to his senses. Their kisses had set a challenge to the other, a play for power that neither was going to back down from. She felt a thrill of excitement as he spun her around, pressed her against the wall and began to dominate her mouth.

It soon became clear who was going to win the power play. Sidney was simply too strong for her and soon his kisses were navigating her backwards into her living room. She nearly tripped over when the backs of her legs hit her couch but he held her upright and spun her around to face away from him. As he kissed along her neck and shoulders she could feel his erection pressing into her before he pushed her down on to her knees, bending her over the couch. Kneeling behind her, trapping her between the sofa and his own body his arousal became even more pronounced and she felt entirely helpless as his arms slipped around her, his fingers sliding beneath the waistband of her slacks, pulling furiously at the edge of her underwear. She brought her hands down to undo her pants, to help him take them off her but as soon as he realized what she was doing he grabbed her wrists and slammed them down on the seat of the couch. It was a very clear statement. 'I'm in control. You'll do what I want.'

With her wrists held down she was mostly unable to move, but she managed to wriggle her hips a little, pushing back into him. He made a deep groaning sound in the back of his throat and brought his lips to her neck, sucking and nipping at the skin just below her ear.

Without warning he released his grip on her and in one move pulled her shirt up and over her head, throwing it on to the floor beside them. His hands plunged lower and tore open the buttons on her pants before he pushed them down roughly over her hips and slipped a hand into her underwear. His fingers slid over the wetness between her thighs, causing her to moan his name and in response his hips jerked forwards roughly, claiming her even further. During their time together he had become an expert at reading her signs, knowing exactly where to stroke or lick or suck, whether to be firm or gentle, slow or fast, to bring her to orgasm quickly again and again and again.

She was getting close. Automatically her fists grabbed hold of the cushions in front of her as her muscles began to tense.

"Are you going to come?" Sidney asked her, his voice gravelly.

"Yes," she whimpered in response.

"No, you're not," he replied, taking his fingers away from her. Through her frustration Jess felt his warm weight leave her back. "Undress yourself and turn to face me," he said, and she immediately did as she was told to be greeted by the sight of Sidney standing over her and sucking on his fingers. "Fuck, you taste so good," he said, his eyes falling closed and his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes snapped open, pupils dilated, and he met her gaze. "Touch yourself. I want to watch you."

Sitting on the floor, she bent her knees up and parted her legs and was rewarded with the sight of Sid licking his lips, longing written all over his face. She cupped and squeezed her own left breast with one hand, and, parting her slick folds with the other she began to deftly circle the nub of flesh that would bring her so much pleasure.

"Tell me when you're close," Sidney instructed her, slowly unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his shirt.

It wasn't going to take long, she knew that much, especially as she was watching Sidney undressing with such an uncharacteristic predatory look in his eyes. She made a mental note to try and anger him more often.

"I'm close," she choked out.

"Get on your knees." She did as she was told and Sid said in a voice edged with danger, "I didn't tell you to stop touching yourself."

His intention became apparent as he stepped out of his boxers and gripped a fistful of her hair, pushing her open mouth down over him, causing her to gag slightly when he thrust too far forward. Working her tongue over his shaft, she delighted in the pleasured sounds he was making, in the way his fingers massaged her scalp. She greedily sucked and swallowed the pre-cum, the slight saltiness that was just so Sidney.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard as soon as you come," he growled, his breathing becoming heavier and more erratic.

His words were all it took. It rose up through her like a tsunami, pleasure emanating from her core and spreading out through her entire body. Her cries were muffled by Sidney's cock; he held her in place while she rode out her orgasm until, boneless, she fell back against the edge of the couch.

"Bend over the couch," he instructed her. She knelt in position, unable to think for herself and only able to respond to Sid's insistent requests. Once again she gripped the cushions in anticipation, but Sidney clearly had other ideas. Pulling her arms behind her back, he gripped her wrists in one hand, pinning her in place. She could feel his erection, wet with her saliva, as he rested it between her cheeks before he brought his palm down against her backside, hard and fast. The stinging sensation caused her to yelp slightly and made her heart race faster, and she wiggled her hips against his, desperate for him to fill her.

He didn't need asking twice. He entered her in one sudden movement, and Jess cried out at the sudden invading sense of fullness. He usually took his time but not today; his thrusts were deep, hard and fast and Jess couldn't do anything but moan incoherently. Straight away she was pure sensation and nothing else; her mind stopped all rational thought. With her hands pinned behind her she was unable to move, and Sid's free hand entwined in her hair, twisting around his wrist slightly before pulling back, lifting her head off the couch.

She lost all sense of time and all sense of self until suddenly she felt Sidney stiffen behind her, releasing his grip on her wrists and grasping on to her hips instead, pulling her back further on to him. His movements slowed down; one, two, three more shallow thrusts and he fell against her, his breathing heavy and ragged. Lips pressed softly against her pulse point and she lifted herself up off the couch slightly, spinning her head round to greet him and capturing those lips in a hungry kiss.

Sweat began to cool against their bodies and Sidney reached up to pull the throw off the couch, draping it over the two of them as they sat on the floor together, panting and heaving.

A look of shame covered his face, and he seemed unable to make eye contact with her. Eventually he pointed to his eye, then to the left hand side of his chest, then to Jessica. I love you. "I know," she said, allowing a small smile to lift the corners of her mouth.

"Lots," he said.

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"I mean for everything. For losing it with you just now and ignoring you this week."

"I'm sorry too," she said bringing her hand up to cup his cheek. He looked pained and stricken, lost in a world of grief.

"I can't ask you to not be his friend, Jess, but I can't handle it. I thought I could, but I was wrong."

"No, Sid, you can't. But I don't want to be his friend if that means I can't have you."

"And I'm sorry I got carried away just now. I took my anger out poorly," he replied, horror apparent in his eyes.

Seeing the hurt, Jessica brushed a few stray curls away from his forehead before claiming his lips in another kiss. "Well then. And you know, I'd rather you worked your aggression out that way instead. Much more fun for me."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. Did I tell you I love you?"

"Yes," she said softly, gently brushing her lips over his.

"And did I say I'm sorry?"

"Yes!" she laughed. "And I am too. I'm sorry I brought up a break. I never want that with you. And I didn't realize it was going to be such an emotive topic."

"I'm serious about you moving in with me."

"Me too babe." Sid pulled the blanket over their heads and began a more sensual round two.

Notes