The Compromise

Sidney loved the sound of his blades scraping along the ice and the loud clicking noise heard when his stick connected with the puck. In an arena filled with over 18,000 people he could still make out those sounds, drowning out the loud chants of the fans, and focus on his purpose: get the puck and score.

He glided along the freshly cleaned ice at the Iceoplex in Southpointe on the first day of regular season alone. Many of teammates hadn't come back to the city yet, minus the few with school age children. He didn't blame them. Given the chance he would be in Nova Scotia spending extra time with his family and skating around at local rinks there.

Not that he regretted being in Pittsburgh. Jess was just as much his family as his parents were, more so even now. And her job was here, and the rest of her family, and a handful of friends that didn't stare at him weirdly or ask him out of line questions that made him uncomfortable.

As he glided across the ice, lost in thought and only concerned with working on his performance, movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. He slowed, turned to his left and saw a figure walking up to the boards. He recognized that figure anywhere and wondered why she came down here. He skated over to her, handling a puck along the way and stopped directly in front of her. She showed a sad smile and moved to a part of the boards without glass. Sid followed Jess.

"Hey," he finally spoke when they were able to hear each other better.

"I thought you promised that this year was going to be better than last year," Jess said. She sat on the player bench and watched as Sid leaned against the wall. He was surprised by her statement and carefully chose how he would respond.

"I did promise. Are you not happy Jess?"

She contemplated his question. "I am happy for all the right reasons, but this year has been just as exhausting as last year. More so even."

Sid removed his helmet, removed his gloves and leaned his stick against the wall. "Talk to me Jess." He watched her glance away and waited patiently, an act he had mastered in all his years of hockey and used more so in the last several weeks than any time before.

"This is the year of losses." Sid took in what Jess said and waited for her to elaborate. "I lost James, he lost his dad. You guys lost in the playoffs, then lost your season. I lost our baby and you, then lost my mind."

"Jess," Sid started.

"I'm tired of losing," Jess said. Sid pushed himself over the wall and sat next to Jess on the bench.

"You never told me you remembered all of that,"he said softly.

"I didn't want to believe any of it. But it's hard not to when you should be at Consol preparing for the first home game tonight. Instead you're here skating by yourself."

"Dupers just left to pick his kids up from school. Kunitz was here too," Sid tried to justify.

"It's not fair. I mean, a lot of it is clearly out of my control, but it still sucks." She leaned against him resting her head on his padded shoulder.

"Look at it this way, you didn't lose James. He cheated and let's face it, you got the better end of the deal there. And we are better than ever, you never lost me. "

"Cocky much Crosby?" Jess laughed. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled down at her.

"And you can't control the hockey season. Or you know, miscarriages," Sid hesitated.

"I know. Again, it still sucks," Jess said.

"Hey, you remember a lot now," Sid said. Jess nodded. "Remember over the summer when we were at my house in Cole Harbour?"

"What about it?"

"That was fun." Jess gave him a funny look, chuckled and shook her head at him. "What? It was! You can't deny that the drama-free life we had over the summer wasn't what we needed. That's how I like to live."

"I know you stopped being involved in negotiations Sid." Sid leaned away from Jess surprised by the sudden shift in their conversation.

"Who called you?" He finally asked.

"Your father." Jess squeezed Sid's padded thigh in encouragement.

"Did he ask you to talk to me about it?" He didn't know how to react to this. Should he be mad that his dad called Jess when she was still getting her memory back and try to make Sid the priority?

"No, but he is concerned. Not because of me but he is concerned that you don't really care about the league when you're the face of it."

Sid contemplated her words, studying the ice closely and not focusing on Jess. "I care about the game. I would do this for no money you know?"

"I do. You signed a huge contract over the summer pissing people off because you're worth more than what you agreed to."

"But I don't feel like I should be worth millions of dollars! I like to play. I dream of our children playing and loving it the way I do. Not because we are forcing them to do it, because they genuinely want to." He stopped Jess' hams that was trying to ease his tension and threaded his fingers with hers. There was a long, quiet pause between the two.

"At least go for player safety. Help the players get new rules established that will limit concussion resulting hits. So future players don't experience what you did these last two seasons," Jess suggested.

Sid looked at Jess and smiled. He knew he loved her for so many reasons, this being one of them. "But I'm scared."

"Why?"

"It seems like every time I go to these things something happens to you." He knew he was being unreasonable, that the car accident could have happened without him being five hundred miles away from her.

"You're not going to be able to protect me all the time Sid. And I truly appreciate you ditching the last two meetings for me. But my memory is pretty much back and I am not fearful on the road as so many people thought I would be. I'm pretty resilient."

"I know you are." He shifted to face her and smiled, grateful for her.

"Then you're going to Toronto Wednesday." She had a determined look on her face when she said this.

"Wait, what? Like in two days?" He did not expect her saying that.

"Yes. You're flight is booked, a car will pick you up and you have a hotel room in the same place the meetings are taking place."

"How?"

"Your dad. You will be back by Friday night."

"Will you be alright?"

"Yes, I'll be just fine Sid, I used to live by myself if you recall."

"It's weird to hear you refer to the last year. Its gonna take a couple days to get used to it."

"Aren't you happy that I remember though?" She smiled smugly at him.

Sid pulled Jess over to sit on his lap and whispered in her ear, "I'm over the moon babe."

*********

Wednesday Jess found things around the house to occupy her time. She was able to catch up on grades and worked out lesson plans for the following week. Thursday she knew she would be bored in the large house by herself. She decided that after school she would go do something by herself. And found herself in familiar surroundings.

Jess wandered through the new releases aisle at Barnes and Noble. She loved wandering through the books, reading the descriptions and making note whether she wanted to read the book or not. She had finished her work day and decided she wanted to do something she loved to do but hadn't done in months. Now she stopped to read the back cover of the latest Stephen King, always intrigued but never brave enough to actually read his thrillers.

She hadn't heard or noticed the tall figure approach she was so absorbed in the books around her.

"Jessica," a male voice spoke softly to her right. She glanced as she was placing the book in her hand and noticed James.

"What are you doing here?" She asked by way of greeting.

"I caught sight of you when you walked in, I called out but you didn't hear me."

She pointed to the earbuds draped over her shoulders and gave a closed-lip smile.

"Oh. Well how are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Why are you in the city?" She turned to her left and glanced at another book that interested her.

"The guys are going to get together to run some drills and workout," James explained to the back of Jess' head. She wasn't interested in making small talk with him. But stopped, hand mid-air ready to pick up a new book.

"Sid isn't in town right now." She was confused by this, why wouldn't they involve their captain? She turned to face James.

"Oh we know. We aren't starting until Monday." He looked nervous standing in front of her. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, a hat slung low over his brow and his shoulders were hunched trying to make him appear shorter. Instead he just looked awkward.

"Does he know you will be there?" She finally asked.

"I...I don't know," James hesitated.

"Well even if he didn't, it's not in Sid's nature to act defiant towards a fellow teammate. He will be strictly professional with you. You don't have to worry about him trying to kick your ass or anything." She turned back towards the book she wanted and finally grabbed it off the shelf. She started to turn away to go check out when she heard James laugh.

"What?"

"Can we go somewhere less open and talk?"

Jess looked at James as if he were crazy for suggesting that. "No, we can't. I have plans and being around you isn't part of them."

"Jessica, I didn't cheat." James said in hushed desperation when she turned to leave again.

"Bullshit. Why would you say that you had then?" She started walking towards the checkout counter, James followed quickly behind.

"Sid made me say it," James said making Jess stop dead in her tracks. She spun around to face him, anger washed over her face. "Well, maybe not in so many words. But his actions did!"

"That's ridiculous! I had suspicions last year when you left for Pittsburgh. You were so skittish when you came back for my graduation. I could tell then. I'm one hundred percent certain that the woman that showed up last summer was another hookup of yours. So, say what you want, but Sid did nothing but be patient with me."

"You remember," James said shocked.

"Yes, I do. It's still coming back, but what is important is I know what happened to make us fall apart. Now I know even more it was because you felt guilty and you thought you could string me along. Like I would fall for that garbage. I am happy now, can't you see that?" She pleaded with him.

"And do you have any idea how it feels for me to see you with him? Knowing that in some form you cheated too." Jess was taken aback and was uncertain of how to respond at first. Her first instinct was to feel bad that she would flaunt her relationship with Sidney in front of James, then she grew angry quickly.

"I am not even going to justify a response to you." Jess shoved the book back on the shelf, pushed past James and rushed to the exit towards her car. She didn't look to see if it was safe to cross the road, but rushed out anyways trying to ignore James's incessant yells. It only pushed her towards her car faster. But forgetting he is fast, he caught up to her.

"Listen to me!" He said as he yanked her around to face him. She pulled her arm back and pointed at him.

"No! You listen to me. How dare you try to say I cheated! I may have befriended Sid, and he may have admitted to having feelings before you and I were through, but I never acted on anything!"

"Oh yeah? You didn't kiss him in our house last summer? When I was with your family?"

"The night I was informed that you fucked some slut? Does it count when you think your douchebag of a boyfriend was cheating on you? I was done with you then. I should have just stayed away from you then. Tell me, James, was she one of the handful of hoes you manhandled?" Jess was on fire. Her heart was racing and her adrenaline was pumping. James had some nerve to pin their failures back on her.

"That's beside the point."

"No, that's exactly the point. And I am done with you. Play your games with someone stupid enough to fall for it. And leave Sid out of this. We are going to be around each other for years to come, stop trying to bring up the past. It's done. You fucked up. I am leaving." Jess hurried to her car and got in before James could stop her and say something again. Little did she know that their argument caused a small scene with numerous camera phones snapping away.

Notes