The Compromise

Sidney rolled over and groaned. His head was pounding and all he wanted to do was fall back asleep. The state his body was in he knew would not allow for him to do so though. He rolled off the small couch he was sleeping on and took in his surroundings. He wasn't at his home. He wasn't quite sure where he was. The last he remembered from last night was taking two shots of tequila with T.K. He had wanted to let loose but not be groped and rubbed all over by slutty puck bunnies.

"Morning sunshine!" Paul greeted, a bit loud causing Sidney to wince in pain. He needed to get home, take some aspirin and crawl back into bed.

"What the fuck?" Sid mumbled. He rubbed his eyes and fell back against the back of the couch.

"You finished nearly an entire bottle of Patron. How are ya feeling?" Paul asked as he handed Sid a mug of coffee and two pills.

"Worse than when I got that second concussion. Fuck!" Sid sipped the coffee and kept his eyes closed.

"Yeah, we'll if you egged Nealer on any more you probably would be far worse." Sid sat up at the mention of James. He hadn't been there with them last night. He was sure of it.

"What are you talking about?" Sid was confused.

"You saw Jess' car and you were gone. It took us a few minutes to realize you bolted out the front door and over to James' house."

"Uh, what did I do?"

"You basically called Neal and asshole who didn't deserve her." Sid fell back again. His head ached for a whole different reason now.

"Don't worry, he didn't mangle you. He stormed off, pissed. But Jess calmed you down." Sid was unable to look at Paul as he said this to him. The ache he felt in his head shifted to his heart.

"What is going on Sid?" Paul asked sincerely, "You aren't messing around James' girl are you?"

"What?! No! I would never...that isn't something I would. No. And I am kinda pissed that you would suggest that!" Sid was getting loud and angry.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry! I just know those two have gone through a lot."

"Yeah and every time she got angry with him she would run to me. I know."

"Then what was that about last night?"

Sid knew, but couldn't quite explain to Paul that he was falling in love with Jess. Or how he managed to let some girl in that he knew he couldn't have. But thoughts of her consumed him and he was walking a dangerous tightrope whenever he was near her. He couldn't see it before her falling out with James and the subsequent make-out session between the two. But after that encounter he was more convinced of his feelings for her and fought hard to refrain from acting on them while she stayed with him before her move. He contemplated his words before he spoke. Before he said anything he felt his phone vibrate. He looked to see it was a text from Jessica saying that they needed to talk.

"I have to go. Thanks for letting me crash here." Sid panicked. He needed to get home before he said too much to Paul, knowing that he and James were good friends. And he needed to get as far away from Jessica as possible. He wasn't prepared for that conversation. He hurried out the front door to his SUV and drove off without a glance behind him.

Jess knew that Sid was still at Paul's and was preparing to walk over to talk with him when she noticed he came out of the house and straight to his car. Jess turned on her heal and ran back towards the kitchen where her phone sat. She was secretly hoping he hadn’t noticed her countless texts, but knew better when she looked through the message to see time stamps of when he last read her messages. He wasn’t going to avoid her. What he need last night needed to be addressed.

Jess went to James’ bedroom and stopped, breathless, to study the sleeping form in the bed. He was a sight lying on his stomach, his face turned towards the window. The sheet barely covered his backside and she smiled at the thought of how he made love to her just the night before. ‘He really has been trying to be more attentive to my needs,’ Jess thought. It wasn’t fair what Sidney did last night. He exposed wounds that made James vulnerable and insecure and she hated that.

After showering and dressing quickly, she leaned over James’ sleeping form, kissed his forehead and whispered that she would be back. He stirred, opened his eyes and circled his arm around her thighs.

“I’m getting this over with so you and I can spend the entire day being together. Go back to sleep,” Jess explained.

“Okay baby,” James whispered hoarsely, his voice filled with sleep. Jess got up to walk away, but abruptly turned back around and leaned down over James. She captured his lips in a searing kiss, his hands snaking around her neck to keep her there longer. She pulled away much to his protests and said, “I love you.”

She watched a smile spread across his face, “I love you too, more than you know.”

Jess felt her body tingle with warmth. James hadn’t been so sincere in months. She was starting to really like how he was making such an effort to be a better person in her life. She kissed him one more time and walked out of the room before she changed her mind and climbed back into bed and his awaiting arms.

She pulled up in front of Sidney’s house thirty minutes later and without hesitating walked right up to the front door and rang the bell. She waited a few minutes before trying to door handle. It was unlocked so she entered the house shouting for her friend.

“Geez! Not so loud please. Trying to recover from dying a slow and painful death last night,” Sid said from the steps.

“Are you ignoring me?” Jessica asked without lessening the volume of her voice.

“What? No, what made you think that?” Sid asked as he sat on the landing at the top of the steps. Jess proceeded to walk up the steps and sat a few down from him.

“Well, I texted you saying we needed to talk and then you were gone from Paul’s. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to drive all the way out here.”

“I never told you to do that, so sorry you had to inconvenience yourself to do so,” Sid said sarcastically.

Jess closed her eyes and tried to fight back a snarky remark back. “Listen, about last night.”

“Just forget it happened. I was not of sound mind.”

“Sid.”

“No, seriously. I guess drunk me was looking for a fight. I don’t know. But just don’t worry about it. Tell James I said sorry to worrying him.” Sid proceeded to stand up and walk past Jess down to the bottom of the steps.
“But Sid, it wasn’t..” but she was caught off.

“No Jess. I don’t want to talk about it.” Sid was getting more and more embarrassed. He didn’t need her to know any more than his drunken blunder.

“Well, I guess I’m sorry for bothering you.” Jess got up and started for the front door. But Sid didn’t allow her to go any further. Instead, he stood in front of the door, blocking it.

“Sid, what are you doing?” Jess asked, puzzled.

“I…I don’t know.”

“Well, I need to go.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“You are making it clear that I wasn’t invited,” Jess said. She tried to push past Sid.

“Okay, fine. Let’s talk.” Sid didn’t know what got into him, but the thought of her going back to James turned his stomach. She drove out here to see him, and while the topic up for discussion wasn’t one he really wanted to breach, he knew deep down it needed to be. Jess spun around and walked towards the living room. She sat on the couch and waited for Sid to start.

“So what do you want to ask me?”

“Sid, what was that last night?”

Sid looked at his feet. How could he tell her and not lose her as a friend?

“Jess, honestly, I was drunk. I never drink like that but for some reason I wanted to. I guess the start of the season looming overhead just got to me. I am frustrated and I don’t know. I just needed to let loose.”

“You know drinking could set back your recovery. Impairing your brain functions won’t allow it to heal.”

“Yeah, no shit. But I did it anyways and none of my symptoms seem to be exemplified from it. Well, aside from my headache.” Sid sat down next to Jess close enough that their thighs were brushing against each other.

“Do you remember what you did?”

“No, but Paul said I almost fought James,” Sid shrugged his shoulders. He could recall some moments. He knew from Paul that he wanted to tell Jess how he felt.

“You said that James didn’t deserve me and that you could treat me better than him,” Jess spilled, “Care to explain?”

Sid leaned his elbows on his knees. This was it. He knew it and he couldn’t put it off any longer.

“Well, I would and I wish that I could.” Sid didn’t look at Jess. “I value your friendship Jess, but I think we would be pretty amazing together.”

“I don’t know what to say, Sid. I’m with James. I have been for a long time.” Jess leaned forward to try to get a look of Sid’s face. He wouldn’t shift to look at her. His jaw set in a firm line.

“I know you felt it Jess. That day we got tangled up and almost let things go too far,” Sid whispered, he seemed to have lost his voice.

“I got caught up in the moment Sid. It would never have happened had the situation been different.”

“You can go now. You don’t have to stay.” Sid stood and walked towards the French doors leading to his back deck. He stood looking out his window with his hands in his pockets. He messed everything up. He just admitted to his only friend outside of hockey that he had feelings for her. And he suspected that she only kissed him that day because she wanted to get back at James for hurting her, but he dreamed that it was really because she had feelings for him too.

“I’m sorry Sid. I wish things could be different.” Jess walked away from him and out towards her car. The conversation didn’t go as she had planned and hoped it would. She sat in her seat and composed herself. Looking back through the rearview mirror she could make out Sid’s figure standing in the window. She needed to get out of there before she got out of the car and raced back to comfort him. To tell him that if things didn’t work out with James that he would have a shot. To tell him that she did feel something that day all those weeks ago and every day she has spent with him since meeting him in May.

Notes