That's My Girl

~GRADE 4

I hung my winter jacket at the back of the classroom and sat in my seat as the class waited for Mrs. S to start class. I instantly miss Jason, who used to sit next to me but since we talked to much, Mrs. S moved him to the other side of the classroom. Everyone was talking with the people beside them and I was just sitting here alone. I look back at Mrs. S and that’s when I see her. A girl, that I’ve never seen before stands next to Mrs. S. The first thing I notice is her hair. It’s blonde but with a hint of brown in it and it’s longer than anyone in our class. All the way down to her bum.

Mrs. S claps her hands, signaling everyone to quiet down. “Everyone, we have a new student who just moved here from Winnipeg. This is Elizabeth Spalding.”

Elizabeth looks up at Mrs. S timidly and quietly says, “I prefer Liz.”

Mrs. S tells her to take a seat next to me and then I miss Jason again. I don’t want a girl sitting next to me. They’re so talkative and annoying. She sits down, not saying a word and just stares at the front of the class.

She finally over at me and I’m shocked by her eyes. It was brown right around the black part of the eye but then it gets a mix of green and blue and it was something I’ve never seen before. They were beautiful. And then I’m weirded out by the fact I just thought a girl was pretty.

“So are you a Jets fan?” I ask, because I don’t know what else to say.

I expect her to look at me blankly because all the other girls don’t know hockey.

“They’re ok. But the Bruins are my favourite team.”

I blink. “Wait. You know hockey?”

“I’m a girl, not an American.” She laughs.

I smile and decide that maybe I can be friends with a girl.

~GRADE 7

“What do you want to do for your birthday, Tyler?” My mom asks when I get home from hockey practice.

I shrug. “Just a party’s fine, I guess. Oh and can I invite Liz?” I ask. I’ve never had a co-ed party but over the 3 years we’ve known each other, she was the only girl that I felt I could be myself with and I could tell her anything.

“Yeah, go ahead, and invite some other girls if it’s going to be a co-ed thing.”

***

“Oh my god! No! Don’t do that!” Liz screams at the tv, next to me. Jason is sitting with two of our classmates, Taylor and Callie, on either side of him, and he looks like he’s having a good time. Cassidy and Candace ran away after the first scary thing.

After a while, the guy with the mask comes back and Liz yelps and turns her head into my shoulder, her hands on my chest, balling up the front of my shirt.

I feel my face flush a little bit as she turns her face up and says “Is he gone?” and her breath tickles my neck.

“Yeah.” I croak.

Her hand unclenches my shirt but she leaves it there, her palm flat against my chest. And I feel my groin get warm and I move a throw pillow onto my lap because I’m pretty sure I’m about to pop a boner. Over Liz! I try to concentrate on the killing in the movie and not her touching me and what it’s doing to my crotch.

~GRADE 9

I pack up the last of my equipment and find my way out of the arena. I was exhausted from today’s practice and hoped that Liz’s shift ended on time. She’d been working at the rink recently for a bit of extra money and usually we carpooled. I was about to text her when I see her along with another guy on the team, Henry, walking with her. She laughed about something he said, and I feel my chest tighten up. I start to walk up to them and as I get closer I can make out what they’re saying.

“Ok, I’ll text you.” Liz says, smiling.

“Ok. See you around.” Henry said back, returning the smile before kissing her gently.

I clear my throat and they jump apart. “Ready to go, Liz?” I pull on her arm and give Henry a look.

I pull her outside and then let go of her. I walk quickly to my mom’s car.

“Ty! Wait up!” I hear from behind me.

“Hurry up! I don’t have all day.”

I slam the car door shut and impatiently wait for her. I roll down the window. “I said hurry up!” And she finally makes it to the car.

“What the hell is your problem?”

“I have work to do and I’m exhausted from all the hard work I did, unlike Henry.” I mutter the last part.

“He wasn’t so bad. You guys don’t give him enough credit.”

“Right, make sure not to tell anyone you sucked face with that loser.” I roll my eyes. I see my mom look up in the mirror at me and then to Liz and then back to me.

“Henry is cute. I’m glad I kissed him.”

I laugh. “You could do better, Liz.”

The door opens and my sister Candace sits in between Liz and I. We continue to bicker and I can see Candace getting uncomfortable between us. Finally, we get to her house.

“Thanks for the lift, Jackie. Oh and Tyler, fuck you.” She says and slams her door. Hard.

When she’s safely in her house, Candace looks over at me and smacks me in the head.

“Ow! What was that for?” I yelp.

“You’re an asshole.” She rolls her eyes.

“Language, Candace.” My mother warns, but is still grinning.

“And you so like her.” She smirks.

“Obviously. She’s like my best friend.”

“No. You LIKE her.” She repeats again.

“Whatever.” I look out the window and remain quiet for the rest of the drive home. Of course, I don’t like her like that. I mean I just don’t want her to date douches like Henry because that’s what best friends do. Keep them away from douchebags, right?

~GRADE 10

I walked over to Liz's house in attempt to make up for the fight we had today. It seemed like these fights seemed to happen more and more often these days.

I walk in her house and greet her family before heading upstairs to her room and it was definitely not what I was expecting. Liz and Henry are both on her bed. Henry is shirtless and Liz's shirt is pushed up, showing her bare stomach.

"Get out." I say angrily.

“Tyler! What are you doing here?”Liz scrambled to her feet, her face flushed.

“Well I wasn’t going to come over but I see coming here was right.” I glared at Henry. He looked shy as he pulled his shirt over his head.

“I’ll see you later, Liz.” He kissed her cheek and left, without looking at me.

I watched him walk by and then looked back at Liz. She has an expression that says she wants to kill me.

“Tyler, get out! Why do you always have to be so protective? I see you hooking up with tons of girls!” She screams at me.

“Well, sorry if I don’t like to see you exchanging spit with Henry.” I scream back at her.

“God, Tyler. You can be such an ass sometimes.” She runs her hand through her hand, frustrated. It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen and I don’t think I just do. I crash my lips onto hers and it’s like a jolt of electricity through my body. She’s frozen but relaxes into me. Her hands presses against my neck and pulls my hair gently. I push my tongue in her mouth and it feels fucking awesome. For someone I know so well, she’s so foreign. The back of my legs hit her bed and reality crashes on us. She pulls back and we’re both catching our breath.

“I don’t like you kissing Henry because...I want to be the one to kiss you.” I say, breaking the silence.

She lifts her head to look at me. “Ty.” She sighs and sits next to me. She bites her lip and looks at me, nervously. “I’ve loved you since the day we met.”

I look at her, surprised. “That long?” She just nods. I take her hand and we smile at each other.

~DRAFT DAY

“Tyler!” I heard from behind me. Liz is sprinting towards me full speed. She jumps onto me and I catch her safely in my arms. “I’m so happy for you!” She whispers. I let her down and she’s panting and her face is glowing.

“Come with me.” I say before I even knew I was thinking it.

“What?” She’s taken aback.

“Come to Boston with me.” I say again.

“Really?” She asks. “Ok, then.” She says, without thinking which is unlike her. She has to think through everything before making a decision.

“So this is it. We’re moving in together.” I grin and she grins back.

~BOSTON

He loves you, Liz, he loves you. I repeat it over and over again.

I wake to remember the past night. It wasn’t the first time Tyler blew me off. It seemed to happen more often now. I would be ready for him at home after his game but he never came. I usually end up sleeping and wake to see him in the bed. I sigh and close my eyes. He loves you. He loves you.

I get up to get ready for classes as well as make breakfast but just end up eating a granola bar. Tyler comes out the door and kisses me on the cheek.

“I would’ve figured you would have made breakfast.” He says, and I roll my eyes. He loves you. He loves you. We get ready in silence and I expect him to say something about last night. An apology. Something. But he doesn’t. He starts for the door.

“Oh hey Liz?” I turn around. Maybe I was wrong about him. “Can you get my jacket? It’s a bit chilly.” I bite the inside of my cheek. My heart drops but I hand him his jacket. He just smiles and leaves. The tears start just as the door closes. He loves you. He loves.

The day goes by just like any other day. I go to class, then the library, then the grocery store, and then make dinner, in hopes that Tyler will come home. Repeating over and over again. He loves you. He loves you.

It got me thinking. Boundaries don't keep other people out; they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them.

It was all a trap. And I needed to break free.

~BREAKUP

I looked at the stick in disbelief. Pregnant?! It can't be true. I was too young and it was just one we didn't use protection. I look at myself in the mirror. I look older than I was when I first moved to Boston. Tyler and I's relationship had changed. It felt like he wasn't trying anymore. I was going hysterical because of him. I felt like I was trapped in a cage. Go to school, come home. The same routine everyday. I was under his spell. Don't worry Liz, he loves you, I tell myself everyday. We were getting too comfortable.

***

Tyler walked in after a 3 day road trip and seems a little off.

"Tyler, babe, what's wrong?" He ignores me and continues to text on his phone. "Hello?!"

"What Liz?" He snapped.

"What's with you these days? Where did the old Tyler go?" I say angrily at him.

"What do you mean? I'm still here. Same old Tyler." He says, sarcastically.

"So who's this new girl you're fucking?" I say, with my hands on my hips and he finally looks at me. Just before he got home, I got a call from one of his teammates telling me that Tyler cheated on me and the scary thing was, I wasn't even angry.

"I'm sorry." He says, instantly like its an instinct, not a true apology.

"Just tell me one thing. Was she good? Was I not good enough for you? Huh?" He looks down and says nothing. I grab the closest thing to me, a lamp and throw it at him.

"You bastard! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! You ruined my life!" I scream at him. He still says nothing. I grab the bag that I packed just a few minutes ago and leave.

It was true. I hated him for ruining my life but not because he cheated but because I was a teenage pregnancy case, a sad case, with a broken heart that couldn't be mended.

Notes