“My home is a featureless, one room apartment in a busy part of Pittsburgh. It’s just a place to keep my stuff,” he said unlocking the door. He held my hand as he casually led me into the spacious living room and settled me into the butter-soft leather couch in front of a grand-carved stone fireplace.

“Make yourself comfortable,” he said.

I slipped my shoes off and put them on the floor. When I looked up, the fire was already lit and blazing.

He’d rolled up his creamy-white shirt sleeve, exposing a tan forearm, and I couldn’t help imagining the rest of his body would be equally hard and well-formed.

"Alright, so where did you want to start?" he asked sitting down next to me interrupting my thoughts of his toned body.

"Well, I'll start with the reason why I haven't made it to any of your games so far."

"Okay," he said giving me his full attention.

"The reason that I haven't gone to any games is because it's where my dad used to take me when I was little. It was our place to get away and spend time together. It was the one thing we shared in common that no one else understood in my family. It was the only time I could spend just me and my dad. You see, my dad passed away two years ago from Cancer. The picture you were looking at in my office earlier, that was the last time we were all together. Shortly after that picture was taken his health decreased rapidly and he later died in April."

"I'm so sorry Renee, I had no idea."

"I know, you had no way of knowing. It's alright. After my dad's death I went down a dark road. I didn't go to work, drinking was my job, a way of life. It was no longer something fun on the weekend, it was every day to help me forget. I was hanging around with some new people I'd met in clubs and they were hard into drugs. I tried opium, cocaine, smoked pot, shot heroine. If they had it, I tried it. It was how I chose to cope with what had happened. I grew distant from my family and lost any real friends that I did have. I was totally consumed with myself and drinking and experimenting. Now I don't want you thinking I'm this rehab junkie, that's not it at all. I never got hooked on anything, I didn't much care for any of it. It was just another substance to help me forget. One night I had had enough. I was tired of the drinking, tired of the games I had been playing, I'd had enough."

Tears stung my eyes as I poured my heart out on the table.

"I decided I wanted to end everything, put an end to it all, so I grabbed a razor blade. I had thoughts about suicide, but I wouldn't ever have attempted it. Cutting was just a way of doing something a lot less severe and a lot less permanent to express what I was feeling. I guess I didn't have any other way. It really scared me, because I was making myself bleed and it freaked me out. I felt that I just had so much pain inside me and so much I was going through that I felt like nobody could see. I started with small slices on my thighs, just enough pain to match what I was feeling inside. I cut for a good month or so until someone I worked with noticed my arms. She asked me what I was thinking and how could I do that to myself, which only made me angry. It was my body, my business. So, that night," I said taking a deep breath,"That night I got out my razor and cut deep. Deeper than I had ever cut before.You don't technically need superficial veins to live, but they do help regulate body temperature. That night I cut through those veins. I cut all the way to the muscle. I had made sure the incision was really long so the blood could come out easier, almost in sheets it poured out of me. As soon as I did it I panicked and grabbed the nearest towel to stop the bleeding. I reached for my phone and managed to call my mom and ask her to come over before I blacked out. All I can remember is waking up in a hospital bed with my arm bandaged and doctors telling me I had completely damaged the vein, it was no longer usable."

Looking into Kris's eyes I was surprised to find a look of sympathy, not terror. He had a gentle look on his face, one of understanding.

"I was in the hospital for thirty-six hours on suicide watch and while I was laying there I decided to change. Seeing how I had affected my family by my actions, I couldn't cause them any more pain. I wouldn't be the reason for their tears. I made a promise to myself that night to change and be a better person. I went to therapy twice a week for a long time and now I go once a month. I'm better, but I will always be labeled. It's one day at a time for me."

Without saying a word Kris came closer to me and placed his lips on mine.A soft,sweet sensual kiss. Wrapping my arms around his neck I leaned back resting my head on the headrest, Kris on top of me.

Lifting his head their eyes met. Desire darkened his eyes and a spark of. . . something ignited.

He rose and crossed the room, allowing me to exhale as he receded into the shadows.

I hadn’t had sex in a long time, so long it was embarrassing. Sure I'd had one night stands but they were meaningless. They didn't know my story or take me out to dinner first. They were there for one thing and one thing only. I'd even received twenty dollars once for rocking a guys wold, I think his name was Matt.

“Hot chocolate?” he asked offering a mug to me. While confused I accepted it and sipped it. What had just happened? Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, no he doesn't even want to have sex with me.

He settled into the sofa beside me. Close. His muscled thigh brushed against my skirt.

God damn , I thought to myself, my pulse quickening.

I sensed his steady gaze on me as I took a sip of my drink. Mmm. Rich hot chocolate, he had made it with warmed milk. It was better than my usual microwaved cup of water with a Swiss packet.

He tilted his head and his eyes glittered. He was close enough that I could smell his scent. I distracted myself by trying to analyze it. A mixture of hot chocolate,burnt wood and Old Spice now.

His palm moved over my forearm, tracing over my scar. Feeling a little self conscious I pulled my arm back to adjust my hair behind my ear.

"It's okay Renee," he said as his fingers found their way back to my scar before he leaned down and kissed it, "You're still just as beautiful to me. This doesn't change a thing."

Strange sensations bubbled inside me. When his hand slid to my thigh, resting lightly on it through the thin fabric of my skirt, it felt as natural and nonthreatening as a handshake.

Or kiss on the cheek.

Kris’s lips brushed my cheekbone so lightly I wondered for a moment if I'd imagined it or simply wished it.

The second time his mouth rested for a moment right beside mine, until my lips stung with anticipation. His breath heated my skin.

His hand slid up my thigh, bringing my skirt with it. I realized I was leaning toward him. Since it felt so natural, I leaned closer, my nipples tight and tingling under my silky top.

I slid one arm around him, aware of his muscled back through the soft fabric of his shirt.

Kris’s bare palm on my thigh made me gasp. He’d hiked my skirt up almost to my underwear and warmth from the fire baked my skin. I glanced at his face. His eyes were closed, his expression simple and familiar.

I shut my eyes as his mouth claimed mine, hot and ready. I could feel his body heat through my clothes. Without thinking, I pulled gently at his shirt until it came loose from his pants in the back, then I slid my fingers over the firm ridges of muscle on either side of his spine.

Excitement built inside me as our kiss deepened. Heat gathering between my legs and desire thickening inside me. It had been so long since I’d kissed anyone, at least like this.A kiss of passion, of lust. But this was perfect. We both knew what we wanted, tonight would be a sweet taste of pleasure.

Kris cupped my breast in his broad hand, playing with my nipple until it rose against his palm.

“Come with me,” he breathed in my ear, anticipation shining in his coffee-brown eyes.

I rose from the sofa, my whole body tingling with arousal.

Entering the bedroom and sinking into the mattress Kris rested a hand on my hip. He kissed me with gentleness, taking his time, as if savoring me.I let my fingers roam over his shirt, enjoying the shape of him beneath the fabric. His body was hard and athletic, capable of speed and force, just as I’d imagined. His movements tender, he licked my lips, brushed them with his mouth and nuzzled his cheek gently against mine.

Kris’s dark eyes glistened with desire that mimicked my own. His forearms brushed the sides of my breasts, stirring delicious sensations all through my body as he slid my top off and unhooked my bra.

His big hands cupped my breasts and rubbed my nipples gently. I couldn’t help wriggling from the arousal he was causing. I reached for his shirt and pulled the buttons out through the soft fabric.

His chest was thickly muscled, with a narrow trail of hair descending from his belly button into the low-slung waist of his pants. While I fumbled with the button, he layered hot breathy kisses over my neck.

His erection bulged in his dress pants, wanting, needing to come out. I enjoyed a naughty sense of satisfaction, knowing that he was every bit as turned on as I was. Finally the button came un-done and I tackled the fly. As I pushed them down over his hard thighs my fingers began to tremble with excitement. He eased my skirt down and squeezed my ass. His eyes closed and lips parted slightly. Normally I was intimidated by such good looks in a man. I didn’t want to deal with the oversize ego that normally came along with them. Surprisingly, Kris’s proud features seemed natural, a confidence of hard earned success.

Lowering his head he started licking my nipple. The rough texture of his tongue on my flesh made me gasp. At the same moment, he slid his fingers into my panties. I could feel myself slick against them. Should I be embarrassed that my arousal was so obvious? I didn’t know what to think. I couldn’t think as a pleasure took over my entire body.

He eased my panties down over my thighs, kissing every inch of my inner thigh, over more scars, before tossing them to the side. He then removed his underwear and stood facing me. Both of us naked and aroused.

His sturdy male body and the raw strength it implied appealed to me in a way that even I couldn’t understand. It must be the excitement I told myself. I sank into the soft mattress and Kris climbed over me. For a second I wondered if he was going to part my legs and enter me, my belly tightened with anticipation. But he didn’t. He stretched out alongside me, skin to skin, his muscled arm holding me close. He kissed my ear, sending shivers through my body.

“I want to kiss every inch of you,” he said, “Your mouth.” He licked my lips.

“Your neck.” He bit it gently.

“Your chest.” He brushed each breast with his cheek, flicking each nipple with his tongue as he moved lower.

“Your stomach.” He blew hot air on my skin, making it shiver. He licked around my belly button and grazed my skin with his teeth. I had never experienced anything like this before, I hadn’t even felt his hard shaft inside me yet.

“Stop thinking,” he said parting my legs.

He lowered his mouth between my thighs, licking and sucking my lady parts until my hips rose off the mattress. A high pitched moan escaping my mouth.

He turned and rolled a condom over his erection and I blinked.

He was so, natural at this, so unembarrassed. This had to be normal for him. He climbed over me and my skin tingled as he hovered over me. He nuzzled my neck and I swallowed. In a single swift motion he thrust his erection into me. So aroused, I climaxed again.

“Oh Kris,” I cried out as he moved inside me. He thrust into me, gentle then harder. Taking his time, until I was trembling once again, totally unable to control the sensation that rocked my entire body.

I took him deeper, pleading with him to go faster and harder until finally Kris shouted as he climaxed, filling me with his own desires. I opened my eyes in time to see his face in tortured ecstasy. We crashed into the mattress together, both panting. I laid in his bed motionless, listening to his breathing get softer and softer until I knew that he had fallen asleep.

As I laid there I thought to myself about the nights events. It had been so long since I had let myself go and just had fun. It felt good knowing that Kris knew my whole story, skeletons and all and still didn't think anything less. He was truly something special and I couldn't wait to see where this would go. Rolling over to my side, facing away from him I drifted off to sleep.