Breaking the Ice

Sid must have thought I was ignoring him. For the first two days after we got back from Boston I probably only said 5 words to him. He was pretty quiet too, but I could tell by the way he looked at me he was worried. I sat on the couch watching some mind numbing show on MTV and he sat next to me. I felt the couch dip, but I didn’t look at him. His fingers grazed over my bare thigh and I turned to watch him. He opened his mouth to speak then it shut. He pursed his lips and let out a deep breath.

“You need to stop.” He said quietly.

“Stop what?” I asked, staring at the TV.

“Stop blaming yourself.” There was nothing I could say. I played terribly in the series and it hurt so much to let it go. For days I kept replaying the turnover I had that led to one of the goals in game 2.

“Let it go. It’s over.” He said. I knew he was only trying to help, but I didn’t want to hear it. Without a word I walked upstairs and threw on a pair of sneakers.

“Babe, stop.” He said in the doorway

“Running helps, Sid.”

“You’ve run what, 50 miles in like the past 3 days. You’re going to kill yourself.” I sighed before trying to push around him.

“Just let me help you.” He whispered.

“Help me with what? Forget how shitty I was. Forget how I played a huge role in us losing the series?”

“Stop it! You’re not the only one on the team okay. We all sucked. All of us. You can’t beat yourself up forever! It’s your first playoffs with us, it sucks, it hurts, it’s fucking awful, I know, but I’m worried about you. “ he said looking down at me. All the memories of losing flooded back and I broke down in his arms.

“I’m sorry. I know this is probably so annoying, but I’m just so mad at myself. We could have won it. We could have done so much better. I’m sorry I wasn’t better. I let all of you guys down. I let you down. I’m sorry.” I cried, my knees weak.

“It’s okay.” He cooed. “It’s going to be okay. Before you know it it’ll be October.”

He held my hand as we walked downstairs and he curled up behind me on the couch. He kissed my shoulder and traced shapes into my side.

“How do you do it? How are you so strong?” I asked, the tears slowly subsiding.

“Trust me, in past years I felt the same way you feel, but you know what I think now? I think that I’m the luckiest guy in the world. I get to live with the woman I love, play hockey with her for a living, and I know that she loves me too.” He smiled. I rolled over to face him and kissed him hard.

I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart beating. “I love you.”

“Be happy okay. It’s just us. We can just be together without worrying about what anyone else thinks right now. We can be normal. Just enjoy it with me okay?” I nodded and he kissed my forehead.

“Come on, get changed so we can get some dinner okay?” I smiled and went to take a shower. When I was done I saw Sid sitting on the bed and putting on his dress shoes. He was wearing a navy suit with a dark grey tie.

“Fancy tonight?” I asked with my towel wrapped around me. I went to his dresser he cleared out for me and found a red cocktail dress.

“Um..when we get back….in October…do you want to just move in? I know you don’t have all your stuff here and all—“


“Are you sure? “ I asked nervously, turning so he could help me zip up my dress.

“Yeah, you don’t have to answer now. No pressure.” He said as his warm fingers grazed my back.

“I’ll think about it.” I said turning to face him. I wanted to tell him how excited I was that he asked, but I thought it better to see how the summer went. He nodded and kissed my shoulder.

“You ready?” he smiled. I nodded and he led me to the car.

“Where are we goin this time?” I asked holding his right hand as he drove.

“Casbah. It’s in Shadyside You’ll love it.” He smiled. When we got there he handed the keys to the valet and we walked inside.

“Sid this is really cute.” I smiled as we were led to our table.

“I’m glad you like it.”


We ordered and are food arrived quickly then I soon noticed how quiet we were at dinner.

“This is so weird.” I laughed during one of the awkward silences.

“Why?” he said looking up at me.

“It’s just weird. It’s just the two of us. There’s usually someone around. Either the guys or coaches or cameras or something. “ I said putting my hand on top of his.

He just smiled widely. “You’re right. It feels nice. You know, I was thinking. At some point do you want to come up to Nova Scotia? I’d love if you met my family.” He said squeezing my hand.

“Of course.” I nodded. “So what do you want to do about Nealer?” I said, sure that my smile too quickly turned into a frown.

“I don’t know. We can go to extreme measures, but I don’t want to do that you know?” he said looking back down at his food.

“What are extreme measures?” I asked a little confused about what he considered extreme.

“Talking to Mario. I hope he doesn’t make it any harder on us, you know.” I nodded and returned to my steak, but he kept his hand on mine. I was trying not to get emotional but I just felt so hurt. I hated how things transpired with James and I wished I could take it all back.

“I don’t want it to get to that.” I said looking him in his eyes. He gave me a small smile.

“I know. Me neither. Maybe I should make a trip up to Whitby you know? Talk it over with him. Man to man.” He suggested.

“Do you really think that would work?” I asked staring at my plate.

“It’s worth a shot. I don’t want to stop seeing you and well…he’s not making that easy.”

“Yeah. That night. God, he made me feel so…awful.” I mumbled.

“Looking back I wish I would have socked him right then and there. He has no righ to—“

“I know Sid.” I said changing the subject. I was just tired of talking about it.

Sid and I had a stress free rest of the night before quickly returning home. He kept giving me subtle hints like licking his lips between bites and caressing my palm with his thumb as we held hands. He opened the front door and firmly grasped my hips as he pressed me gently against the wall. His lips went straight for my neck as his hot breath sent shivers up my spine. We haven’t been this passionate with each other since before the playoffs. His hands went to the zipper of my dress and slowly pulled it down. I stepped out of it without leaving his lips. His hands squeezed my ass and he moaned into my neck. He let his lips brush mine lightly before licking my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I parted my lips as he explored my mouth with his tongue. I moaned loudly as he picked me up and rushed to the bedroom. He set me down on the large bed gently and unclasped my bra.

“Tonight is all about you.” He whispered into my ear.

Notes