In Your Eyes

"Hey! Hey Nisky! Scuds!"

"Yeah?"

Sid leaned one arm over the rail of the bench, frustration running down his face as fast as his sweat was. "You're going to have to watch when 44 and 27 come up like that. You'll need to get in position before Kuni and I can get back to the line."

Rob Scuderi nodded as he squeezed his water bottle, water half-missing his mouth. "Trying Sid, we're trying here."

"I know - just try and put yourself in the pocket and you won't have to hustle like that. You'll never beat 'em."

Niskanen looked down at the floor, nodding silently. Scuderi's eyes drifted back out to the losing hockey game they were currently struggling to stay a serious part of. Sid was beyond frustrated, but was holding it together more than the rest of his team.

Currently, Geno's line was out on the ice. They weren't doing half bad now in the second period, but they had a long way to go and a deficit of 3 goals against the Hurricanes.

Three. Sid took his glove off and wiped the excess sweat and water from his visor. Three fucking goals.

Geno and James switched shifts with Sutter and Megna, sliding down the bench along with the others to make room.

"What the fuck do you even call that?" James said to Geno, grabbing a bottle.

Sid kept his eyes on the ice, but heard the frustration in James and Geno's voices as they continued talking.

"You shoot when I pass!"

"I did!" James removed his glove and pointed at the goal. "Did you miss that? When I was in the far right?"

The crowd Ooo'd and all heads at the bench turned to see what it was over. The whistle blew, signaling a new face off in the Pens zone.

"I saw you" Geno said, going back to the conversation. "You no see me when I signal."

"Signal?" James made a face and shook his head. "You gotta yell, G. I can't hear you with Staal in my face."

"Crosby! Kunitz!" Bylsma nodded for them to hit the ice. Geno and James moved down as the last shift moved in.

Sid didn't get to hear the rest of that conversation, but it was telling whenever Geno lost his patience, especially with James. They didn't lose their patience often with one another, but that's just the way this game was going. After the trouble they had in the previous season with the Canes, Sid knew they were all struggling to make up for it, if not for themselves…at least for the crowd.

No sooner did Sid hit the ice did two Hurricanes come up and nearly tackle him by their oncoming speed. The whole game they'd been on him like flies on shit, and he knew it was only going to get worse as the game went on.

He muscled through. He adjusted when they did, pushed past, got the puck multiple times, and shot every chance he got. Finally, on the third attempt after a pass from Dupuis, Sid scored.

The crowd went nuts. The goal horn and the celebration song played loud and Pittsburgh was happy with their team once more.

Two goals to go Sid thought, hugging the guys on his line. As they skated back to knuckle-bump the rest of the team, he glanced up at the jumbotron. He was hoping to see the replay, but instead, Sid got a glance at Piper. She was clapping wildly, standing up from her club seat far above the rink, her wavy hair shimmying as she did a little celebratory dance for him.

He couldn't help but smile. He held that image in his mind as he bumped fists with the rest of the guys and skated back to take a seat on the bench with them.

Two goals to go.

The water hit his face, shocking him back to the present. As much as he wanted to linger in the euphoria of seeing the only person he cared to see celebrating along with him, he had to stay focused. This was the last home game before a two-game road trip, back to back games, and then his parents would be in town. It was, in all likelihood, just the beginning of a long and arduous week.

A whistle blew, dragging Sid permanently off his high and back to the game. The crowd was booing…loudly. Refs were assembled near the far end of the rink, opposite where Sid was sitting. He stood up, trying to see better what the commotion was for. A few of the Pens were chirping a few of the Canes, which meant a penalty was coming. Sid looked up at the screens above the ice as they replayed the supposed foul…..caused by the Canes, but called on the Pens.

James Neal to be exact.

Sid watched his fiery glare as he continued arguing with the ref, who wasn't having any of it. Geno even got in the mix, dangerously close to getting a foul called on him for the way he was conducting himself.

Jesus christ, please don't fucking go to the box with him, G…

"Let's go, guys - Penalty kill time. Hustle."

Sid heard Coach give the order and he was out on the ice. James was still getting lead to the box, just as the ref announced to the crowd it was a 4 minute penalty.

Four motherfucking minutes.

He went over to the ref, wanting an explanation for why the call was made and why was it made against his guys. Even as Sid argued the point, he could see there was no use. Glancing over, he saw James throw his stick in the box and take his helmet off, his brows bent angrily.

Sid skated over to the guys on the ice with him, giving them instruction and a vote of confidence. Once he drifted up to the line, the puck was dropped and they were off for four minutes of keep-away.

Upstairs, Piper watched intently while biting on her knuckle. After Sid's goal, not only did she feel extremely proud and excited, she also felt some hope for him and the rest of the guys. Now, after that sloppy call, the high she had was quickly replaced by anxiety.

Around her, the other women and men there to support the guys were talking amongst themselves, hardly noticing the ice at all. Piper assumed this was because they've seen a number of seasons under their belts, while this was still her very first, very real season…and she had serious stock in it.

She didn't have Ali there with her either. Ali hadn't been to the past two games, although after their lunch earlier in the day, Piper assumed she might be coming down with some sort of illness or was suffering from her period. The fact that Ali wasn't there wasn't all that big of a surprise to her.

The other wives and girlfriends had been slow to warm up to her, but were getting to know her more and more as she attended more games. Piper felt they were all very cautious towards her, as if afraid of her or afraid to really get to know her. She enjoyed all of them, but felt seriously on the outside of the circle. And while she'd done her very best to integrate herself into the mix, without Ali's help it proved to be much harder to do.

None of this was on Piper's mind while she watched Sidney take control of the ice. Even during a penalty kill, his presence was unmistakable. His face appeared on the giant screens more times than Piper could count, and each time she gazed at his moving image with respectful awe. Aside from the very obvious facts that Sid was one of the most attractive men Piper had ever been with, he seemed that every one of his best features came alive whenever he was in uniform and skating. The flawless complexion, highlighted by his sweat and the berry tint in his cheeks, the curls of his hair sticking out the back of his helmet and laying across his forehead, the smile Piper loved most coming out now and then throughout the game, and his eyes…above all else, Piper saw those hazel eyes she loved most truly stand out unlike any other time she was able to look into them.

Now, Piper watched those eyes focus on the puck, round and alert and darker than normal. She watched how he moved, how his incredible talent seemed effortless no matter what he did out there.

She also watched him skate through almost the entire four minute penalty, successfully killing every attempt by the opposite team. If it wouldn't have looked so dumb, and if she knew she didn't have 15 cameras pointed at her, she would've stood up and cheered for their efforts. She would've cheered for James, who skated out of the box and back to the bench as the Ice Crew came flying out during a commercial break.

In the middle of the break, Piper checked her phone and saw a text from Ali waiting for her:

A: Thank God for your man saving my man's ass! Saw you a couple times, too - looks like you're having fun. Wish I could be there.

It gave Piper a smile to know she had support all around her. Not that she needed a lot of it much these days - moving in with Sid now seemed like the only option she had. Staying back in Bar Harbor, if she had chosen that, would have been the wrong choice. Despite her newness to everything around her, save for the city of Pittsburgh itself, Piper felt as though she could eventually become a serious part of the scene. It was a scene she didn't understand and wasn't sure she could understand, but now…to have a life far from Sidney seemed ridiculous.

The game went on, and the Pens continued to struggle, but they gave it their all right to the very last second. They fell to the Hurricanes, but only by one point…which Piper thought they should be proud of. They came back from a difficult 3 point deficit, and she felt Sidney should feel proud for that.

Was she ever wrong.

*

Sid wiped his face with his hand, doing his best not to glare at the cameras and media reporters around him.

"Can you tell us where you went wrong tonight?" one asked.

"Well, uh…" He facially shrugged. "We didn't get the amount of pucks into the net that we should have."

Some of the reporters chuckled, but Sid was serious. Sometimes he wondered why they asked the questions they did, but he had to remain gracious.

A woman held her voice recorder out. "Sid - do you feel the amount of penalties tonight worked against you?"

He rubbed his brow bone. "Yeah, I do. But…you know…penalties are part of every game, and uh…I think we did a fair job killing them when we needed to? But, yeah, penalties are tough in any game."

"Do you feel the amount of penalties caused by some of the guys on the team are a concern going forward this season?" another reporter asked.

"If you're speaking about specific people on the team? Then no. I won't comment on that. No. Next?" He looked around, clearly irritated by the question. He wouldn't rat on his teammates. That wasn't who he was and that wasn't how the team worked. It was all for one and one for all.

No one spoke up after that. Dan Potash held his RootSports mic a little closer to Sid's mouth. "Sid, how do you feel going into the back-to-back road games coming up?"

Sid lowered his gaze, wiping at a drop of sweat tickling the side of his nose. "I feel great. We'll move on, we'll do better, we'll assess the next two teams and do what we can to break them down." He looked up and around him. "Any more?"

"Thank you, Sidney."

"Thanks, Sid."

"Good game."

He nodded, waiting for them to give him some much needed air. Once the cameras were turned off and the phones and mics and recorders were put away, Sid would feel through the troubles of the game on his own. He'd think about it all night, he'd think about it the next day on the plane, he'd think about it until their skate the morning of their game against the Lightning, and then again against the Blues.

But for now, Sid just wanted some time alone. He took losses hard, especially when asked the questions he was asked.

He also wanted to be with Piper. Seeing her would make him feel somewhat whole, and hopefully not so much as the defeated Captain he felt he was.

When he was changed and back into his suit, Sid made it out into the hallway and through the maze of passages to get to the parking garage. On the way, he found the girl who was waiting for him there. She stood casually with her back against his car, her arms hugging the chill away from her body, but the smile she wore so well that lit up her entire face was as big and bright as ever.

"Hey stud."

He smiled. "Hi." Leaning in, he felt the softness of Piper's full lips against his.

"Been waiting on that all night" she replied, rubbing his arm.

Her touch felt good, but Sid wouldn't allow himself to enjoy it. A defeated Captain didn't deserve it. He backed away and went around to the driver's side, not saying much more to her as strategies and repeated plays ran through his mind.

Piper glanced over from the passenger seat, staring at him and trying to read his strained face. "You should be proud of the way you guys came back! I thought it was great."

"Great!?" Sid laughed. "Yeah, okay. What's great about falling short by a point because of the same fucking mistakes we always make?"

"Well…." Piper looked down at her hands, considering his question. "I mean…at least it was falling short by three points, right?"

"Wrong."

Sid turned the wheel and hit the gas, sending Piper back into the seat with a little force as they climbed the onramp to the highway. She kept her gaze focused on his, but his remained on the road. His hands gripped the wheel hard and tight.

"You're upset."

"No shit" he bit back.

"But you really didn't do as bad--"

Sid's intense gaze shot her direction. "As bad as what, Piper? As bad as what?"

"I…I don't…" She shook her head. "I don't know. Aren't losses part of this whole thing?" When she said this, she noticed Sid's hand grip the wheel even tighter.

"They are" he replied, eyes still on the road. "But I can't lead a team successfully forward if we're scrambling like junior leaguers causing fucked up penalties and handing points over to the other team."

Piper nodded slowly. "I get that." She shifted her eyes sideways with caution. "It's just one loss--"

"--No. One turns to two and spirals from there. Moral lowers. That means more penalties. Coach is infuriated, takes it out on us at practice. That makes a team tired, which lowers morale even further."

There's nothing I can say to him, she thought. He'll refute everything I say.

They sat in silence the rest of the way home. When they got home, Sid was out of the car and in the house by the time Piper got her purse and stepped out of her door.

Well this is new.

She came into the house, hoping he'd still at least be downstairs, but she was wrong. She could hear Sid upstairs, so she left her purse on the table and went up as well.

As she came to the door of their bedroom, Sid was pulled off his tie and running a hand through his hair, mussing it up from the gelled, well-done version he'd worn home. "Sidney?"

"I just want to go to sleep."

Piper tilted her head. "Come on. Talk to me. You don't have to do this alone now, you know. I'm here now."

He nodded, unbuttoning his shirt but remaining quiet. When he didn't say anything, Piper approached him and held his hands in hers. They were hot to the touch, rough and worn from the game and being stuck in damp gloves all night.

"Let me." She looked into his large eyes and smiled.

Sid stood and watched Piper unbutton the rest of his shirt. He felt her delicate hands dance down along the fabric, awakening something softer inside him. He wished he could give in to it, but it didn't feel right. It wasn't what he was used to.

Piper spread open his shirt and gently tugged it over his shoulders and onto the floor. She ran her fingers along his waist, and he flinched.

They looked at one another and they both cracked a smile.

"You've lost your touch" Piper teased.

"I suppose I have."

Sid was relieved she was there. He was relieved he had someone to touch him and make him flinch. Even as Piper lifted his undershirt up and over his head, the cool air of the bedroom playing against his bare skin, Sid was relieved he had someone to lay with that night. No longer did he have to fall asleep berating himself for a loss or any should haves or any could haves. He would have to give that up, or lessen it somehow, because Piper didn't deserve that version of him.

"I love you, Piper."

She looked up at him and smiled. "I know."

* * *

"Hey Kiddo! How are ya?" Piper broke away from the breakfast she was making to surprise Sid to talk to her brother. "How's home?"

"Home is good, but I miss you" Bailey said, his tiny voice sounding just a hint depressed.

"Aww, I know, I miss you too. But Sid is looking out for me, and I can tell you he misses you too." Piper smiled against the phone. "How are Mom and Dad?"

"They're good too! I don't think they miss you as much as me."

Piper laughed. "Well that's always good to know" she joked. "Is Mom there?"

"Yeah! Hang on."

There was a rustling on the other line, and Piper waited for Bailey to fetch her mom. She heard hushed voices, then more rustling.

"Love you, Piper. Tell Sid I said hi!"

"I will, babe. Love you too!"

"Hiya hunny."

Piper heard her mom's voice and it may have been the most refreshing sound she heard all week. "Hey Mom. How's it going?"

April filled her in on everything since she left. Everything about her father's restaurant, small town talk about neighbors, Bailey's latest soccer game…the whole nine. Piper pushed around the eggs she was scrambling while keeping an eye on the french toast on the other burner as they chatted. She didn't even see or hear Sid as he stood in the doorway watching her, a smile on his face. He watched her lovingly, her tiny boy short underwear hugging his favorite part of her body, the tank top she wore on top with no bra just adding to the view. Most of all, Sid enjoyed hearing her laugh. He guessed it was her family on the line by the sound of her cheerful tone.

"Okay, that's fine" Piper said. "Yeah - we'll talk more later, I'm about to burn breakfast anyways. Give Dad a kiss for me." She laughed again, and Sid smiled. "Okay Mom, love you too, bye!"

When Piper turned around she nearly jumped five feet in the air. "Crosby!" She held her phone against her chest while she caught her breath. "Fuck. Talk about creepy."

Sid laughed. "Creepy?? And here I thought it was sweet to listen to you talk on the phone." She approached and stood behind her at the stove, his arms slowly sliding about her waist. "You smell good….that smells good."

Piper got chills just feeling him pressed against her backside. "I thought you could use a home cooked breakfast before your flight."

"Mmm. Thank you."

His voice hummed against Piper's neck, followed by the softest kiss on her neck. It was sensory overload, which was a frequency she expected whenever they were both in the house.

When Sid kissed her again, Piper closed her eyes. "I'll seriously burn this french toast…"

"…maybe I'm hungry for something else…."

Oh…oh please be starving…

Sid sighed and backed away. "You're right though" he said, holding his hands up. "Food first, since you surprised me with this."

Piper looked at him with a smirk. "Such a martyr."

"I am." His sideways grin appeared. "Thanks again, by the way."

"For what?" She began to plate the items for both her and Sid. "And if you say for last night…"

"That's exactly what I was going to say."

Piper turned and gave him a look as if to say 'oh please'. Sid returned her sassy look with one of his own, but it failed. All Piper did was giggle.

"Here." She set a plate of steaming food in front of him, but Sid held her arm before she could move away.

"Really, Piper."

His eyes were serious, Piper could see that much.

"I'm not used to….this" he continued. "I'm not used to having someone like you to come home to, not even from a win let alone a loss. So….I may have developed some pretty bad habits that need broken."

She smiled. "I know, baby." With her hand, she caressed his head. His hair was impossibly soft and his curls were fluffier this morning than most other mornings. "We'll get this, right? Together?"

"Together."

Piper saw the look in his beautiful eyes when he said this, and she knew it was a foreign thing to him. For so long it had just been Sid, and Sid alone. Crosby in charge of Crosby. But he didn't have to carry the load himself anymore and Piper hoped he really did know that.

When Sid let go of her, his eyes never left her. He was still so surprised and grateful for their relationship and all the newness it brought, but to see her there that morning, knowing neither of them were going anywhere…it was enough to erase all insecurities in his mind.

"So your flight leaves when?" she asked, taking a seat across from him.

"2…but we need to be at the arena by 11."

"And then the next time I see you…." Piper was even afraid to say it.

Sid knew where she was going with it anyways. "Yes, my parents will be here."

"I'm looking forward to finally meeting them."

"I'm looking forward to them meeting you" Sid replied, chewing his french toast. "Honestly, it's long overdue."

"We'll do things on our schedule." Piper smiled. "You know, like we've always done. Our timeline, our style."

And there was the reason Sidney loved her. Piper pushed him in the right ways. She pushed him to relax, she pushed him to be a better version of himself, and she pushed him to remember that there was no rush. She was literally unlike anyone else he'd ever met.

"Besides" Piper said as she swallowed. "It gives me an entire weekend alone to freak out."

Sidney chuckled. "Do NOT freak out."

"But your dad?"

Yes. Yes….my dad. Sid shrugged as he stabbed at some eggs. "It's my decision to be with you. If he trusts me, he'll trust I'm doing what's best. It's my life after all, right?"

"Right." Piper smiled. Oh how far you've come, Crosby.

* * *

"I'll miss you. I'll miss you. I'll miss you." James kissed Ali's belly every time he said this. "I'll miss you too" he said, looking up at her.

"I would hope so!" She ruffled his already-messy hair.

"I will." James took her in his arms, cradling her close. "Even if it is for a few days."

"I'll have the house ready for when you and your parents arrive, okay?"

"Okay, babe."

He lowered his nose to hers, nuzzling for just a second before their lips met. It was a long, deep kiss; the kind he knew melted Ali on contact, the kind he'd been giving her since their first date. When their mouths separated and their eyes met again, Ali was smiling.

"Call me when you get there?"

"I will."

Ali held James' friendly gaze; the blue of his eyes easily demanding all her attention despite the many attractive features of his face. The corner of his full mouth lifted into a subtle smile, and Ali felt his hand graze over her stomach lightly.

"I love you, Als."

She kissed him again. "Love you, babe. Now go before Paulie has a fit and starts beeping his horn."

James grabbed his garment bag and suitcase opened the front door. "I'll call you."

"Have fun, and good luck!" Ali waved out the door at Paul, who was waiting in his car in their driveway. When she saw James' give a final wave and disappear into Paul's car, she shut the door.

A wave of emotion hit her.

She backed up against the door and started crying. She cried, and cried, and cried some more. In minutes her eyes were puffy and red, her breathing shaky and her face soaked by tears.

"What the fuck" she said aloud. "What the actual fuck."

With the hem of her t-shirt, Ali wiped her face and dried her eyes. Sniffling, she took herself into the living room and laid down on her back. She was exhausted. Her and James had a night of intense sex together; some of the best she'd had in a long time. James had been attentive, present, all about her, submissive to her at times but dominating at most others, the way Ali loved it most. They'd laughed and enjoyed each other basically the entire night, and Ali fell in love with her version of James Neal that no one else got all over again.

And then he left, and suddenly, she was a mess.

Fucking pregnancy.

She wiped her eyes and sighed. How many road trips had she dealt with in the past? None of them made her this sad this quickly. Ali hated what this was doing to her, but she knew it was worth it. If she could just…..even it out a little; be less predictable with her spells of nausea and mood swings and whatever else awaited her.

"Ugh." She sighed again, then looked down at herself. Lifting her shirt up to see her stomach, Ali placed her two hands over her belly so that they made an oval around her belly-button.

My little Neal. Why do you make me a blithering idiot? I liked it when I didn't cry so much and puke so much.

Nothing happened, of course. Her belly was still flat, her baby was probably as microscopic as it came…but Ali liked talking to herself the way she just did. It even brought a smile to her face.

My little Neal.

Her smile grew.

That's what I'll call you until I see a penis.

She laughed softly.

Maybe it'll be as big as your Daddy's.

"Eww…Allison." She laughed at herself again and patted her stomach. "Sorry little Neal, but you're coming into this world to two weirdos. I hope you know this. Even if you can't hear me yet."

* * *

Sid walked away from the airplane parked on the tarmac, cell phone pressed to his ears. The others were dumping their gear bags on a large aluminum wheeled cart, then ascended the steps to enter the plane.

With the wind that blew and the engines of the planes firing up slowly, Sid could hardly hear his mother's voice when she picked up the phone. "Hey Mom, can you hear me?"

"Yes! But what's the noise?"

"Just the airplane…We're about to go soon, just wanted to check in with you and Dad and see if you've got everything you need."

"Oh, yes, um…"

Sid glanced over his shoulder, bracing himself in his peacoat against the wind. "What did you say? I'm sorry."

"Well your father was hesitant to stay in a hotel" his mom continued.

Sid frowned. "Why?"

"He wants to stay with you."

"But I thought we agreed--"

"--He wants to be around this girl of yours."

"Her name is Piper" Sid said through a clenched jaw.

"Yes, he wants to be around Piper more. He wants…well Sidney, he wants control of this situation and that means he wants us to stay with you."

Sid rolled his eyes. "Look, I love you guys, I love Dad - but the room's already reserved and I told the camera guys shooting next week that was going to be the set-up?"

"I told him."

The exhaustion was in her voice, a sound Sidney was all too familiar hearing whenever he and his mother had to deal with Troy. He loved his father and every single sacrifice he'd given him to be where he was today, but he was beyond difficult.

"What about one night?" she asked him.

"I'll see what I can do, okay?" Sid watched more of the guys coming through the door, unloading their bags, then ascending the jet bridge stairs. "I gotta run, Mom. I can't wait to see you guys."

"Us too, Sidney. And believe me when I say this - your father isn't….he's taking this well, let's say that. He's looking forward to meeting Piper just as much as I am."

Sid felt his stress level ease slightly. His mother would never lie to him, and to Sid, she was an angel on this earth. More deserving of love than anyone he knew. All he wanted to do was make them happy, but Piper made him happy. Surely he could manage both.

"Better run before the take off without you" his mom said.

He smiled. "Talk soon, okay?"

"SEE you soon! Good luck tomorrow."

Sid hung up and turned to face the wind and the airplane waiting. The trip was going to be the beginning of a long week of challenges, but he was ready to face them with as much fervor as any other challenge he ever faced. He knew that at the end of it, wins, losses, or upset parents - he'd have Piper waiting there for him.

* * *

Notes

Sorry for the delayed update - SO much going on in the personal life these days (all good stuff, so no worries). Will try and get my act together ;)