Redemption of a Puck Slut: Part II

August 8, 2014

Dear Diary,

Sid’s birthday was yesterday. It kind of snuck up on me, and he didn’t say anything about it, so I genuinely forgot. I don’t know how I could have, with ‘87’ everywhere reminding me of his birth date 8/7/87. I guess I’ve had bigger things to worry about….

It wasn’t until the two days ago that I even realized it was August. He said his parents were coming over for dinner on his birthday (the next day) and I looked at him like I didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Sid, you’re birthday is in August, why are they coming over tomorrow?”

“…Today is August 6, did you not know that?” He asked, and looked a little concerned that I was going crazy (which I am, btw).

“Wait, so our wedding is in ten days?!” I responded after a pause.

He nodded and continued to stare at me with his eyebrows raised, “you need to get out more.”

We both laughed, though I was laughing at how much work still needed to be done in such a short amount of time. I had gone in for my dress fitting the day before, and I had to go back in a few days to get refitted.

“So when’s Flower taking you out for your bachelor party?”

Sid laughed, “I’m a father of two newborn babies- I don’t think there will be a bachelor party.”

I smiled and tried to laugh, but his comment only reminded me of something I’d like to forget: Sid wasn’t the father of one of them, and until I got the results of the third paternity test back, I couldn’t sure he was the father of the other one either.

“When will Flower be here? I feel like the entire town is getting ready for our wedding, and here I am not knowing what day it is, or even what month it is.”

“I think everyone in the wedding party will be here on the 14th for the rehearsal dinner, though he might get here a few days early.”

“Sid,” I said with a frown, “I didn’t get you anything for your birthday, I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay, you’ve already given me the best gift in the world, two actually,” he said and pulled me in for a hug.

I started crying, softly at first, but it turned into sobs as I thought of how devastated he was going to be when he found out one of them wasn’t his child.

Sid, however, thought I was crying because I had forgotten his birthday and he tried to comfort me, which only made it worse.

I eventually stopped crying and calmed down. “I think you’re right, I do need to get out more. Maybe Caeleigh and I will do something tonight, if that’s okay.”

“You don’t need my permission to go out,” he replied laughing.

“But you’ll be okay with the twins?”

“Yes, I’ll be fine, and your mom is here if I need any help.”

I smiled and kissed him goodbye. Caeleigh and I ended up seeing a movie (‘Jupiter Ascending’, it has Channing Tatum in it, we had to watch it.) Afterwards, she and I got dinner. It would have been fun, except people kept taking pictures of us, so we left. We found a park that looked empty and sat on a bench and watched the ducks.

“Geno will be here in a few days, I’m really excited about that,” she said with a smile.

“And hopefully I will get the results back soon. I am legitimately going insane; I didn’t realize Sid’s birthday was tomorrow, or that it was even August, until Sid told me.”

“You’re under a lot of stress, it’s completely understandable,” she tried to comfort me.

“I feel really bad though, I forgot to get him a birthday present.”

She rolled her eyes, “I don’t think he cares, besides, what do you even get for someone who has everything?”

Apparently nothing, as I was not the only one without a gift for Sid. I guess his family realized it wasn’t worth trying to get him birthday presents anymore because he could literally buy whatever he wanted.

Sid’s birthday went over very well and I managed to stay alert and not cry. I actually had fun, I had not expected that.

But now I’m back to worrying about the results and trying to get the loose ends of the wedding wrapped up.

Sincerely,

Emme

______________________________________________________________________________

August 16, 2014

Dear Diary,

It’s technically the 17th, but whatever.

On their wedding night, most girls are over the moon happy, but not me. I am whatever the opposite of that is. Under the moon?

Let’s start with this morning.

I had breakfast with my bride’s maids and Caeleigh, but I didn’t feel like eating. We had stayed in the hotel that most of the guests were staying in, because the bride and groom can’t see each other before the wedding. That tradition had never made sense to me; I mean, Sid and I are not only living together already, but we have two children. Well, sort of.

After breakfast we went up to the bridal suite to get ready for the wedding. The bridesmaids and I had to get our hair done and all kinds of stuff. After getting curlers put in my hair I decided to walk around the hotel a bit while I waited for them to finish. Mostly, I just needed to get away from everyone.

I was on the top floor of the hotel because I was pretty sure most of our guests were staying on the first or second floors. I thought the third floor was safe, but it was not. I came around the corner to see Brandon unlocking his door.

He looked up and we both froze. After what seemed like an eternity he smiled and said hi.

“You look nice,” he said as I started to walk toward him.

“Really? With my hair in curlers?” I joked, and it felt nice to smile.

“Yeah, even in curlers and a bathrobe,” he smiled. “Are you wearing anything under that?”

“Yes, but you’re not going to see it,” I replied, even though I knew that wasn’t what he had meant.

“You’re getting married in a few hours, I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“If I’d known you’d be here I would have brought the twins up for you to see them.”

His face softened from his care free smile to a sad countenance I could tell he’d been wearing a lot by the hard lines set in his features. I looked closer and it looked like he had somehow lost weight, which seemed impossible given his already pretty thin (for a hockey player at least).

“Are they here?” He suddenly seemed very distant.

I nodded, “Yeah, they’re downstairs with my mom, I can have Caeleigh bring them up if you want.”

He didn’t have to say anything; I could tell he wanted to see them. I texted Caeleigh and she said she’d bring them right up.

We sat on the edge of his bed and waited for her. He fidgeted nervously, which is understandable, because he was meeting his child for the first time. If only we knew which one it was.

We both jumped when Caeleigh knocked on the door. I opened the door and she thrust Annie into my arms, mumbling something about not wanting to drop her. Teddy was in the stroller, so she gently pushed him into the room.

She looked at me, as if to make sure I wasn’t going to do anything stupid, and left to finish getting her hair done.

I turned to Brandon, who looked a little in shock, and asked if he wanted to hold her.

“Annie, this is your Uncle Brandon,” I said to her as I gave her to Brandon. Or, he’s your dad, I thought, but didn’t want to say it out loud. I could tell he had been going through a hard time lately, and I didn’t want to hurt him anymore than I already had.

It looked so right, seeing Annie in Brandon’s arms, and it was at that moment that I knew.

I didn’t need the results of the paternity test to know that he was her dad. The way he held her, and she grabbed onto his pinky finger, it looked like she belonged there.

Tears began streaming from my eyes uncontrollably and my knees started to get weak. I sat down on the floor and began sobbing. I looked up at Brandon and I could tell he knew.

How was I supposed to walk down the aisle knowing that my future husband was not the father of my daughter, like he thought he was? I am honestly not sure how I did it, but Caeleigh made sure I got through the whole ceremony without crying or looking emotionally dead, even though that’s how I felt. It was like all of the happy, nervous excitement you’re supposed to feel on your wedding day had turned into guilt, sadness, and pain. The ceremony was beautiful, despite the fact that I was falling apart, and only held together by my (gorgeous) dress and the reassuring glances Caeleigh kept giving me. (If there was an award for best maid of honor, she would get it).

Before the reception Caeleigh pulled me aside and locked us in the bathroom.

“This came in the mail this morning but didn’t have time to give it to you before the wedding,” she handed me an unopened envelope.

I took it and started to open it, but stopped, “I think I already know.”

“You should still open it, you might be wrong,” she urged, “Besides, I want to know.”

I looked down at the envelope and pulled out the results and (for the third time) read them over. When I didn’t say anything Caeleigh grabbed it from me and read it.

“What the hell!” she said, trying to be quiet so no one would hear us. “How is it inconclusive again? This is impossible. We must have made a mistake.”

“No, no it’s right, I just know it is,” I replied, but I couldn’t explain why.

“What? Emme, it says Brandon is Annie’s father, and that there were no matches for Sid or Teddy. We must have done something wrong.”

“No, this is the second time the results have said Sid was not a match, it must be right. And I just married him,” I added with a despondent sigh.

“So if Sid and Brandon aren’t Teddy’s father, then who is?” She asked, handing me the results.

I shook my head, “I don’t know, and I can’t think about this right now. Can we burn this or something? I don’t want anyone finding it.”

I handed it back to her and tried to mentally prepare to pretend to be happy and in love like any other newlywed.

Caeleigh promised to take care of it and put it back in the envelope before tucking it in her purse. We joined the rest of the wedding party just as they were lining up to enter the reception hall. Sid wrapped his arms around me and kissed me one more time before we entered arm in arm and were met with applause and a couple cheers from his teammates. I had tried to avoid him, but I accidently made eye contact with Brandon as I walked past him.

Sid and I were led to the dance floor for our first dance. I had forgotten to listen to the song he picked out again, and I wish I had. The first line said something like ‘think I’m going to have a son’ and later it says ‘and the little boy is mine,’ and this line pushed me over the edge. Luckily it is socially acceptable to cry at your own wdding, however I’m not sure I looked very happy. Caeleigh took the hint and dragged Geno on the dance floor, followed by Flower and his wife, and a few others.

I spent the rest of the reception trying not to cry or trying to figure out who Teddy’s father might be. There aren’t any other choices besides Brandon and Sid, right?

But there has to be.

The one way I could find out is currently not available to me: Smith still has my old diary.

After dinner, before I headed home with Sid, I found Caeleigh and we hid in the bathroom again.

“I changed my mind, don’t burn the results. I need you to send them to Sid’s lawyers for me, along with a message, can you do that?”

She nodded, “What do you want to say to them?”

“They have my old diary as, evidence sort of, and I want them to figure out who Teddy’s father is. It has to be in there.”

She wrote a note on the envelope and stuck it back in her purse. “You should be out there with your husband,” she said and pushed me out into the hall.

Sid was just saying goodbye to the last few guests when I found him. We headed back to his house, put the twins to bed, and fell asleep.

Or he did, at least. I couldn’t sleep, so I am wake, writing this. Tomorrow morning we leave for our honeymoon in Europe, and unfortunately I think I’ll be worrying about who Teddy’s father might be the whole time.

: (

Sincerely,

Emme Crosby, (because that’s my name now)

Notes

Someone asked a while ago if the results of the paternity test were going to be the same in this story as they they were in the other one, and now you know they're not.
Originally it was going to be the same, but then I realized that was boring. : D

If you're interested, I've started writing an Olli Maatta fic: Film Strips and Hockey Sticks
I don't like the title, so if you have a better one please let me know.

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