Training Miller

I walked into my new office and was greeted by who I'm guessing is the girl I would be working with, "Hi! I'm Kendra!"
"Drew Miller," I gave a smile and put my stuff down on my desk.
"I'm so happy to have some help around here. Winter usually isn't that bad, but now that it's almost April, season is just starting. It's and sometimes it's hard to do it all yourself."
"Tell me about it," I laughed, "I worked for the Penguins and those guys couldn't stay healthy to save their lives. It did help when they hired another girl. Even if we didn't really get along."
"Care to tell me more?"
"I guess don't really have much room to talk here, but she slept with a few of the players, including two of my best friends, and she tried hitting on my boyfriend right in front of me."
"Whoa. Sounds like a real fun person to work with. I swear I'm not like that. I have a boyfriend, but I've been with him for almost six years now."
"Wow. That's a long time," I was amazed at how long she's been taken. I did the math in my head and that means they were together since before college. Props to them.
"Yeah, well I'm off for the day. I'll see you tomorrow!"
I've always thought of myself as a nice person. I don't get mad very often, I try to help everyone I can. But there's ssomething about Kendra that's so genuine. I think she'll be fun to work with. Then again, the only girl I've worked with tried getting with my boyfriend..
I set everything in my office up. There was a large corkboard on my wall and half of it was already filled with pictures. Everything from the night Seguin got me blackout drunk for the first time to the Blackhawks team picture and the last actual date me and Beau went on. I sat there and stared at all the memories that were in front of me, trying not to cry.
The first two months of working in L.A. flew by. With the season in full swing, Kendra and I had our work cut out for us. Most of our time was spent in the office, trying to get a couple players ready for the World Cup, tending to a few of the national players while they played a couple friendlies here.
One night, she asked me if I wanted to go to her place, which was really just a few floors under mine, and have a few drinks. I gladly accepted after this long week. After we left the field, we stopped at one of the less sketchy stores and bought a few bottles of wine and some vodka. Chances are, this would be an interesting night.
I can always tell when I'm getting drunk. I have four stages. The "I'm feelin' pretty good" stage where I'm friendlier than usual. The "Let's sing and dance on the table" stage. That one is pretty self explanitory. The "Oooo you're pretty cute" stage. That one usually only happens when there's guys around though. And the last stage is the depressed, I'm probably gonna cry for a while, stage. Sometimes all the stages mix together. That's when things get interesting.
Right now I was at stage two and Kendra thought that was funny.
"Yeah I know, where the good book stands. But right now I just can't love one man. My moral compass is takin' a break. I'm in a bad girl phase."
"The devil on my shoulder's got my ear right now, the devil on my shoulder wants a beer right now. And a cigarette. And a new boyfriend or two," Kendra joined me singing on her couch.
"Wait. Aren't you and Mark doing okay?" I stopped singing and looked at her while she started telling me what was going on with her life.
She was really good at hiding how she was feeling. I never would have guessed that her and her boyfriend were on the edge of a break up. Then again I don't think anyone would have guessed I was so unhappy with Beau that I would move across the country to find happiness.
"I don't get why people drink when they're sad," I slurred, "It only makes it worse. I mean. It's called a depressant for a reason."
"I think they want to forget how they're feeling."
"I wanted to forget Beau's name but hey, I still remember it."
"Why did you leave him?"
That was the first time any one asked me why. Everyone just figured I went for the job, but that wasn't the whole reason.
I thought about how I would try to explain this for a while, and I finally I answered her.
"He kept that girl around because he was trying to hurt me. He waited for me to slip when I was with Pat or Brandon. As much as I love him, I needed to get away from him. I needed to get away from that team," I paused for a few seconds, "I miss him. More than I should."
"Yes. But who do you love more. Patrick, or Beau?"
"Is Landon Donovan an option?"
We both burst into laughter. It took a few minutes of us holding our stomachs and almost falling out of chairs to calm down again.
"No but really. Who would you rather spend your life with. I know that's kinda scary, but you should start looking at who's better in the long run. I mean, Patrick will be there no matter what from what I've heard. Beau? Well I think Beau needs to grow the fuck up and commit if he wants you so bad. And he will. He'll realize that he loves you and he'll drop the other girls just for you."
I took in all my friend's drunk advice, remembering the messages Beau had left me. I broke down crying the first time I listened to all of them. I could tell I had completely broken him, but I had to do something for myself. Things would have gotten worse
"But listening to those messages completely broke my heart. I know he wanted to make it better, but I didn't give him a chance and I should have," I took another pull from the bottle of vodka and started crying, "He was my best friend and we were so dysfunctional together. God, I miss him."
"You should call him. I mean, yeah you're drunk. But shouldn't he take it as a compliment that he's the one you think about when you can barely talk?"
"Yeah. You're right.. I should call him," I'm not calling Beau. I'm calling someone else.
"I'll be in the bathroom if you need anything," She calmly told me. I knew that inside, she was anything but calm as she was about to lose her dinner.
I scrolled through the names in my phone, thinking of who I could call. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't call Patrick. I checked the time to see if it would be okay to call one of the guys in Pittsburgh, it was almost midnight there. I guess I could try it.
I typed in the name and pressed the telephone button, hoping he would still be up.
"What's up?" Jayson's voice came through the speaker and I almost dropped my phone. I guess I forgot to turn it down after the last call I made.
"It may or may not be like 9 and I may or may not be drunk already.."
"Hold on," He told me, "Can you pause this for a minute? I need to take this." I could hear another guy's voice in the background.
"Where are you at?" This was more of a rhetorical question than anything. I knew he was probably at Beau and Rob's playing XBOX or something.
"Beau's house. What's going on?"
"I miss him. So damn much. I don't know what to do because I can't go back.. And I know I hurt him."
"He misses you too. The poor kid doesn't do anything besides go to practice and play xbox when we beg him to. He wants so bad to fix everything. You should see him when his phone goes off and he sees it's not you, his heart breaks all over again."
I had talked to Jason and Brandon since I left, but this was the first time I had heard something like this.
"It's been two months, you really should talk to him. He wants to call you but he doesn't think you'll forgive him for what he's done."
Jayson's POV
"I know, I know. I just don't know what to say. Like sorry I broke your heart but I can't come back? Yeah that'll work out real well."
"Drew, just-" Beau's presence startled me, "Gotta go."
I quickly hung up, hoping he wouldn't question why I was talking to her and he wasn't.
"Who were you talking to?" He almost whispered to me, "You were talking to her weren't you?"
"She's drunk and pretty much crying."
"Why was she crying? It's because of me, isn't it?" He sat down on one of the bar stools and ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the ends.
"No. It's because she misses you and doesn't know what to do about it. It's not because of you."
"Are you coming back to play or what?" Bort interrupted, "What's going on?"
"He was talking to Drew."
I sighed, there was nothing that I could do that wouldn't make me the bad guy.
"She's drunk and misses Beau. She doesn't know what to do so she called me. Drew's all torn up about moving to California. Personally, I think she needed it. She seems happier from what I've seen, but she needs you. She'll never admit that, but it's true."

Notes