He hung up the phone without saying good bye. How could she do that to him?! She knew the demands on him already. Was she really be mad at him for leaving? He had to go back to Boston for the pre-season, whether there would be a regular season or not. Granted it was all up in the air, but still. He had a commitment and if she couldn’t understand that, well then screw her. She could go jump off a cliff for all he cared.

Just because he had promised her last season that it would be his last, he was entitled to change his mind. Hockey was all he knew, ever since he was born it had been embedded into his brain. Without hockey, he wasn’t sure who he was or what he could be. It didn’t matter how many times he tried to tell her, she just couldn’t understand.

He knew the constant travelling was hard on her and that she would much rather have him home. Hell, he looked forward to the off-season with her. It was summers with her that were the best moments of his life. Yet every time a new season rolled around things got rocky between the two of them. He knew how she worried every night he stepped onto a plane to venture into foreign cities for games and how she wished that nothing would happen like the Lokomotiv tragedy. That was her problem though, not his. He couldn’t help it if she worried about every little thing constantly. After being with him for three years, she needed to get over it and if she couldn’t, she knew where the door was. He was surprised she hadn’t left him already in fact, after some of the arguments they had had, he was sure he would come home from a road trip to find her things gone from the apartment, but no she had stayed. That had to stand for something. Right?

His mind was whirling as he sped down the interstate towards the Garden. The team was to board the team bus to Logan Airport where they were getting on a plane and leaving for New York City to represent the NHLPA for the current CBA negotiations. Granted, it wasn’t on his list of favorite things to do, but he was part of a team and after the reaction Tim Thomas got after announcing he was taking a year off, he couldn’t tell his team that he wasn’t going to finish out his contract. Not with so many people already doubting him after the way he under-performed last season. No, he had one more year left on his contract and he knew that he could prove the critics wrong. He knew that he was just as good now as he was when he first came to the Bruins.

Pulling off at the Causeway exit he made his way past the Dunkin Donuts and front entrance of the Garden to the parking lot. Getting out of his car he slung his bag over his shoulder and headed towards the locker room door, pushing all thoughts of Sarah and their argument to the back of his head. It was time to focus on more important things.

“Guys, it doesn’t look like we are going to have a season, at least not to start out with,” Claude said as I set my bag on the floor.

“So what exactly does that mean Coach?” youngster Tyler Seguin asked, he had just signed a contract-extension.
“Well, that means that for most of you, you will be playing overseas, I encourage it and for some of you, that means a season off.”

“You think it’s really going to last that long Coach?” Milan asked.

“You can never really tell with these things, but I would suggest getting something lined up.”

Shit. That doesn’t sound good. Well, he had had a few missed calls lately from back home, perhaps it was time he started talking more in depth with them, especially if this thing was going to last a while. This sport was his life, his outlet, he couldn’t stand to not play for the better part of a year.

“David, I’ve been getting calls for you all day and I think it would be wise to stop neglecting them,” Claude said directly at him.

“Yes sir, I was planning on returning a few of those calls this afternoon.”

“Good, it’s about time you put some of those rumors to rest.”

Again with the damn rumors. For Christ’s sake, wasn’t he allowed to have an off season? Why did everyone and their brother’s mother have to scrutinize him and throw him under the microscope for having a bad year. Sure the concussion mid season had shook him up a little, but shit, he still knew the game and how to play. Shit, as if being put on the third line wasn’t embarrassing enough. He made himself a promise that as soon as this practice was done, he was going to call his agent and get the Czech team lined up.

_____

“How can he do this Mallory? I don’t get it, he promised me this wouldn’t happen and now I can’t do this without him.” Sarah said into the receiver.

“Sarah, he’s a hockey player, it’s in his blood and in his defense, he doesn’t even know about it so you really can’t be mad at him.”

“I know, I know, but it isn’t supposed to be like this. I know I get upset every time he goes away, but this time I have a legitimate reason for being upset and he wouldn’t even listen to me, he hung up on me.”

“Yeah, that was wrong of him I agree, but I’m sure if he knew about what you were going through he would change his mind.”

“I doubt it, hockey is his one love and that’s how it will always be. It’s better if he doesn’t know and I deal with it I suppose. Then he can focus on his game.”
“Don’t be ridiculous Sarah, he loves you and would be heartbroken if he knew what you were keeping from him.”

“Honestly, I don’t even care anymore Kim. I’m just so tired of all of this travelling and always following David. Life is too short and I can’t do it anymore.”

Gathering up her hair to fasten it with a hair-tie she heard a car door slam.

“Shit, he’s home I have to go,” she said as she closed her cellphone and tossed it on the couch as the front door opened. “What are you doing home?” she asked out of curiosity.

“There isn’t going to be a season.”

“Oh?” he heart fluttered with joy, perhaps miracles could happen.

“Yeah, the NHL is going into another lockout so Coach suggested that I play overseas and I agreed. I leave tomorrow morning to fly home.”

“Home?! As in the Czech Republic?”

“Yeah, that’s home.” he said taking off his shoes and tossing them to the side.

“That’s thousands of miles away, David did you even think to talk to me about this?”

“It’s my career Sarah, I don’t have to ask you. This is my job and quite frankly I am sick and tired of having this argument every season. Either you grow up and deal with it or..” his voice trailed off.

“Or what?” she asked, her voice quivering.

“Sarah, just don’t.”

“Don’t what David?” she spat, “You’re the one telling me to get over it or else, I want to know or else what? Are you going to leave me? After everything we have been through, just throw it all away? I really mean that little to you, I’m that disposable, you know what, let me save you the trouble. I’m done David, I can’t handle this anymore. I love you with all of my heart but I can’t always be the one giving in and following you around, that isn’t a relationship.”

“Fine, do what you have to do. I don’t care.”

With that he stood up, went into the bathroom and started a shower while she grabbed her car keys and headed for the door. This was for the best she told herself, it would be easier this way, now he didn’t have to know her secret, it wouldn’t be a burden to him and he could focus on his career, that’s what was best for everybody. With tear-filled eyes she threw her car in reverse and headed South. She wasn’t sure where she was headed, but she knew she would figure it out at some point.

_______

When he came out of the bathroom she was gone, probably just went to the store, she’ll be back, he told himself. She wouldn’t have left, she’s not that cold-hearted. After all, she loved him.

As the hours went by he began to worry, picking up his cell phone he dialed her number to see where she was. As the phone rang in his ear he heard a noise coming from the couch only to find her cellphone stuffed between the cushions. As he hung up the phone he noticed a text message from Kim, her sister that read:

Sarah I know that you don’t want to tell David about your Cancer coming out of remission but you need too. It isn’t right leading him to believe you are perfectly healthy when you aren’t. You can’t keep that secret forever, it’s time he stepped up to the plate for you like you have for him. I love you, call me later. xo

Her Cancer had come back? But, that was impossible. She had been in remission for four years it couldn’t have come back. She had been acting fine, hadn’t she? Shit, he really didn’t know he hadn’t been paying much attention to her lately. Fuck! He had to find her, he had to talk to her and let her know he was there for her, but how? He had no idea where she was and no way to get a hold of her.

Panic began to set in as he paced the apartment, seconds seeming like minutes which seemed like hours. He couldn’t believe he had been so stupid, he couldn’t leave for the Czech at a time like this. Now it all made sense, why she had been so upset and after everything he had said, he couldn’t blame her. He was a royal jackass and he deserved to be alone.

He glanced at the clock, 1:35. Groaning he picked up the phone and dialed Kim’s number.

“Hello?” a groggy voice answered.

“Hi Kim, it’s David. I’m sorry to wake you but, has your sister called you by any chance?”

“Not since this afternoon before you came home, why?”

“We got in an argument and she left and has yet to come home. I’m worried.”

“God damnit Dave, when will you get it through your head that hockey isn’t everything? If you only knew what she was going through..”

“I know,” he said cutting her off, tears filling his eyes.

“What do you mean you know? You couldn’t possibly.”

“I read your text message to her, she left her phone here.”

“Well, if you weren’t such a stubborn ass she would have told you.”

“I know but Kim, I’m really worried this is unlike her to not come home or even call.”

“Well, what was the last thing you said to her before you realized she was gone.”

Holding tears in he thought to himself, Fine, do what you have to do. I don’t care.
“Uh, we were in a fight and she said that she had had enough of me and I told her to do what she had to do.”

“Jesus Christ, you really fucked it up this time didn’t you?”

“I’m afraid I did, but I didn’t know...” he let his voice trail off, knowing that wasn’t an excuse.

“I don’t care if you knew or not Dave, that’s not how you treat the person you love.”

“I know Kim, I know. Just help me find her.”

“I will, I’ll call you if I find out anything, you do the same.”

“Thanks, I will.”

Hanging up the phone he sat on the edge of the bed and sobbed. Sarah was his whole world, the only woman to ever put up with all of his shit and never ask for anything in return, how could he have been so absent-minded? If he could just take it all back and tell her how he really felt.

“Only the strongest will survive,” rang through the apartment an hour later. Opening the phone he answered a raspy, “Hello?”

“Hi.”

It was her.

“Sarah, baby I am so sorry. I have been worried sick about where you are. Baby,, listen to me, I’m not going overseas to play. I made you a promise to stay home with you this year and that’s exactly what i intend to do. I’m so sorry that I took back my promise to you, especially after all you have done for me. Please, please forgive me and come home. I’m so sorry, I plan to make it all up to you Sarah, it’s my turn to take care of you.”

He could hear her catch her breath on the other end of the receiver and he knew she was crying what he hoped were tears of joy. “David, you really hurt me and the only reason I’m calling you is to let you know that I am okay, but I’m not coming home.”

His heart dropped.

“Sarah, I know about your condition, I know it came back and you shouldn’t be alone. It’s time I prove to you that I can be there for you. I need to step up and be a real man, for you, for us.”

“Dave, there is no us anymore. I’m sorry, it’s just easier this way.”

“You don’t meant hat.”

“Yes, I do. David, you are a hockey player. You eat, sleep and breathe hockey, without it, you can’t function.I’m not about to be the one to take that away from you. I can manage well enough on my own, but David I do want to thank you.”

“For what?” he said with tears streaming down his face.

“For giving me the best four years of my life, you made me realize what life is really about and showed me what true love is. It’s just better off this way, you can’t be worried about me Dave, worry about you and your career and do great things. It’s what you are destined to do, don’t let anyone put you down and remember. I will always be your number one fan whether I’m your girlfriend or not. I love you David Krejci, it’s just time for me to go.”

“Sarah, no.”

“Goodbye David and good luck with your career.”

“Sarah,” but it was too late, she had already hung up the receiver and the line was dead.

Just like that she was gone, out of his life forever. If he would have known the last things he would have said to her face were his last words to her ever, he couldn’t even finish the thought. Instead he took a deep breath and packed his bags, he had a plane to catch.