“We’ll just have a quiet night at my house Luce. Even though you should spend your 18th birthday not remembering it, we’ll just order in Chinese and watch movies.” Dani walked beside me. “Besides, if you change your mind, there are tons of grad parties going on, Brandon invited us to one.”
“Dani, why don’t you go, I don’t really want to do anything for my birthday.” I sighed walking through the hall.
“You don’t want to do anything but mope around cause precious Crosby is off living a life witho-” She snapped at me, stopping herself. “Wow okay sorry. Didn’t mean that, it just sucks seeing one of my best friends is sad her entire senior year because he left this town in the dust.” She retracted quickly.
“No, I just don’t want plans.”
“He’s in the middle of play offs Luce, he’s not going to fly here. I know you have that little spark of hope inside you thinking he's going to show up because you’re hopeful in the best ways but It’s been almost a year, he’s probably moved on, so should you.” What she was saying made perfect sense and couldn’t be argued with, I did need to move on.
“I’ll just see you tonight, yeah? I think I’m going to ditch for the rest of the day.” I slid on my bag.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tonight Luce, don’t think I’m going to let you bail.” Danielle yelled down the hall.

“What do you mean you’ve been avoiding him?” Danielle argued, gripping her coffee cup tightly.
“I haven’t seen him since the wedding. I imagine he’s been doing the same.” I explained.
“You’re kidding right? You spent the last year of high school sad and mopey and now he’s back in arms reach and you’re not going for it?”
“I don’t want to put myself through all this again. I can’t. In a few months I’ll be back in Toronto and he’ll be in Pittsburgh, it’s not even worth trying to make it work. Even if it was worth it, I’m not willing to.”
“You are the reason men doesn’t understand women you know.” She frustratingly laughed.

“Are you sure you don’t want to crash at mine tonight? I know how your Mom can get when you've been drinking.” Dani offered.
“I’ll be alright.” I muttered, I regretfully agreed to the grad party that Brandon had invited us too, and I also regretted the large amounts of alcohol I had drank.
“Alright, Call me tomorrow babe.” Dani slurred to me as she stumbled out of the cab, passing me a few dollars for the taxi ride.
“Your house address, miss?” The driver looked in his mirror to me.
“Actually, I think I’ll give you directions.” I swallowed.

“So he hasn’t called either?” Danielle asked in disbelief.
“Not even once...”
“Well you’ll see him this week at Cooper’s graduation right?”
“I guess I don’t really have a choice do I?” I sipped my coffee.
“What if he tries to talk to you again, are you going to blow him off again?”
“Depends I guess. He tried to have that conversation at a time that obviously wasn’t right. I wasn’t going to have a discussion about our past in the middle of a wedding.”
“I think you should talk him Luce, get some closure for once. Even if it’s just vocally agreeing that you both aren’t meant to be.” It was always a bit odd when Danielle gave a piece of logical and useful advice.

“Are you sure this is the right place?” He looked out at the darkness.
“Yup. I’m good here.”
“There aren’t really any houses and if I’m not mistaken, the dock is closed?”
“It’s okay. How much do I owe you?” I handed him a twenty and stumbled out.

“So you’ll hang out with that idiot but you won’t even give him a call?” Dani referenced Brandon as he walked away from our table.
“I just said I’d get beers with him. Whatever. It’s different and you know that.”
“How?” Danielle glared.
“Well for one, Brandon isn’t the face of the nhl. Brandon doesn’t live in a different country. Brandon didn’t leave me aft-“
“Sorry to interrupt but uh” A familiar voice sounded behind me. Danielle’s smirk showed that he had heard everything I’d just said.
“Sid.” I stood immediately. “Hi.”
“Mom sent me for coffee, I’m not following you I swear.” He nervously joked.
“I think I’m going to go.” Danielle interrupted. If looks could kill she would’ve been dead already with my current facial expression.
“I’ll go with you.” I responded. “I don’t have a car, we came together, remember?”
“No, I gotta check on the kids anyway. Besides, I’m sure Sid wouldn’t mind driving you?” Dani semi-asked.
“Not at all.” He replied a little too quickly.
“Perfect.” She winked, leaving me awkwardly standing with Sidney, all eyes on us.
“You want to sit?” He asked.
“I thought your Mom needed coffee?” I grabbed my bag.
“Yeah, she does. But it can wait; I just want to catch up.” I’ll never understand how he portrays himself as calm and collected all the time.
“Don’t do that.” I half smiled.
“Do what?” His crooked grin came out.
“Act like we have nothing to talk about Sid.” I gave in and sat back down.
“I know we do. But I do want to catch up with you. Maybe gain back some of the trust I broke.” His pretty eyes searched mine.
“Well what do you want catch up on then?” I tilted my head to the side a bit, staring back at him.
“So… what made you go into teaching?” He asked so casually.

“Hi.” I paused, clutching the phone to my ear.
"What's going on?" A sleepy Sid played in my ear.
“I taxi’d it here. I guess you don’t know where ‘here’ exactly is but I think you can figure it out. I’m here Sid. And I don’t know why you’re not here.” My voice became higher pitched the more I fought my drunken tears. “I mean I know why but not really. Why don’t you call anymore? Why am I treated like a wounded victim in this god damn town? I’m in our spot and I’m fucking drunk and I’m waiting for you and you’re not coming.” I could feel my cheeks dampen.
"Lucy..."
“No, don't 'Lucy' me.You’re never coming.” I yelled. “You don’t talk to me anymore and I know what I said the last time we talked but you deserved it and I still hate your guts for what you did, I do. I hate you. You left me. You had me and then you left me. And then you didn’t fucking call, why didn’t you call?” I broke down, crumbling to the empty, dark dock.
"Luc-" He tried to speak again before I cut him off.
“I’ve spent this entire year waiting for you, I spent this year waiting for you to come and show me that you didn’t turn into a douchebag hockey player.” I rubbed my wet eyes. “But you did. And you said you wouldn’t and I’m so damn pathetic for hoping that you were still that guy. That guy that brought me coca mocha ice cream when my Dad left and watched stupid love movies when Wesley cheated and why aren’t you that guy anymore Sid?” My voice cracked. “God I was so in love with you.” I imagine my sobs could be heard across the harbour and I didn’t care. "I can't do this anymore Sid. I can't spend my days like this, I can't call you after a grad party wishing you'd pick up and tell me nothings changed.You changed it all. You and your stupid hockey. Did you know Wesley called me yesterday, he wanted to talk. Why don't you ever want to talk? Do I even exist to you anymore?" My tears were cried out and now it was just dry sobs. "I wish you didn't exist to me anymore. I wish I could forget" I paused. "It's my birthday and you didn't call. You forgot." It was if my already broken heart shattered once again. "Bye Sid."

Notes

please let me know if you enjoy :)