Reunited

Sidney couldn't even find words to describe how he was feeling in that moment. He on the verge of tears, but yet he felt like he could pummel someone. It was a good thing that it wasn't hockey season, because some poor fellow would've gotten the wrath of Sidney that night.

After slamming the bedroom door shut, hoping he would wake one of the two culprits, Sidney stomped upstairs and into the kitchen. He was rumbling through drawers and opening and shutting cabinets so loud that he could hear people yelling throughout the house. But Sidney was more irked than he had been about his concussion or when he broke his jaw, or even every year that had lost the Stanley Cup. He felt betrayed and hurt and was a maximum of three seconds away from running back downstairs and beating the living shit out of James.

But then it hit him that Shea wasn't his. He had no right, especially now, to feel upset over seeing her in bed with James. He had lost his chance, a very long time ago, and besides he had a fiancé waiting for him in Pittsburgh. A fiancé that everybody hated, but still he loved her. Or did he?

All he knew was that it was too early in the morning to be contemplating Brooke and Shea, and his feelings.

"Jesus Christ Sidney, can you stop with the ruckus?"

Sidney wasn't prepared to turn around and see Shea, so he kept opening and closing drawers, pretending like he was looking for something in particular. All he was really looking for was his dignity, there was no way he would look up at Shea with tears stinging his eyes.

If only everyone who thought I was extremely manly could see me now, Sidney thought to himself.

He could footsteps and talking, people stirring awake throughout the house, so he focused on that. Breathed in and out deeply, and finally got the courage to look up at Shea. She was wearing the same old shirt that she wore yesterday and a pair of boxers, which almost sent Sidney over the edge. That is until he realized they were his.

Shea must've of noticed his confused look at her choice of attire, "I know sorry I went into your room and stole a pair of boxers, more comfy than jean shorts."

"Why didn't you just wear Neal's?"

Sidney had said it so low that Shea had to lean in to hear him, and she still had to run the line over and over in her head to realize that he had actually just asked that question.

"Why would I wear James' boxers?" Shea said putting her hands on her hips, getting mad that Sidney would accuse her of such things. But Sidney didn't answer her, he just looked down at the spatula he had grabbed at some point. But when he looked back at Shea, he was the picture of a broken man. So he excused himself, leaving a confused Shea yelling behind him, and walked out the back door to get some air.

Shea, wanting to know what was going on, but knowing Sidney would never answer anything she went to inspect for herself. She looked on the couches, in bedrooms upstairs and finally when she reached one of the guest bedrooms downstairs all the pieces fell into place.

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. Before shutting the door she half yelled, "You need to change your freaking hair color Ellie!" She walked back upstairs and could see some people standing in the kitchen, wondering just what had happened and how much they had drank. Shea put on a pair of random sandals and walked to the dock, where she could see Sidney skipping rocks.

When she was close enough to Sidney she said, "It was Ellie." Sidney turned around, not realizing that he had company.

"It was Ellie that what?"

"It was Ellie that slept with James, it was Ellie you saw in bed with him." Sidney looked at Shea with a narrow gaze, as if to think if she could be telling the truth. But the picture became clear, Ellie and Shea looked almost identical from the back, the same Auburn, wavy hair, but the only thing that Sidney didn't take the time to look at was the freckle that was on Shea's back, was not on Ellie.

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, that's what you are.

Sidney shut his eyes and put his fingers on the bridge of his nose, breathing out, Sidney said, "Shea I'm so sorry." She nodded. The amount of times that people had posted pictures of Sidney with other girls while he was in Pittsburgh got her fired up too, this was a little different, but she could relate, no matter how much she didn't want to. She wanted to yell and scream and tell him everything she had been feeling in the past four years, but that wouldn't help their situation. If they couldn't be in a relationship, at least they could be friends.

But asking to be friends after being in a relationship is like asking to keep the dead dog, Shea thought to herself, a relationship that ended four years ago, but still a pretty intense relationship.

"You never told me--"

"Never told you what?"

"How you proposed to Brooke, I don't know why I want to know, but it's essential for the ex to ask this vital question, right?" Sidney chuckled, Shea walked over to the bench near the dock, Sidney following behind. He didn't really know where to start. Explaining this would be hard, especially to Shea. But she was right, if it was her engaged, he would of asked the exact same question, but that would of been before and after her socked the guy multiple times.

Sidney took a very large breath in, "It was the day you posted a picture with that guy you dated for a while. An old friend from here, Michael?" Shea nodded, "Yeah he texted me the picture, he had some stupid comment like 'dude this isn't you or whatever', I got so infuriated. Not at you, but at myself for even letting an other guy get the chance at experiencing you. I tried to work off some steam, but it didn't work, so I ended up coming home upset. Brooke wanted to push it, and I played it off as nerves, but there wasn't a game anytime soon, and there wasn't a practice either, so I really had no reason to be nervous. So I rushed upstairs and grabbed the ring box that had been sitting in my dresser drawer for four years, and proposed. Pathetic, I know, but I had been thinking about asking her to marry me anyways. No time like the present right?"

Shea didn't realize she had been holding her breath. She was waiting for some romantic moment, with a speech and maybe a dog, or maybe he took her onto the ice and proposed and told thousands of people he loved this girl and wanted to be with her for the rest of his life. But the story Sidney had told Shea, told her that he proposed thinking of Shea, not Brooke, but Shea. She didn't know if she felt sad that Brooke had been falsely proposed to in a way, or happy that Sidney had gotten a little green from seeing one picture with her and a guy, she didn't really ever recall dating, but fooling around with. And of all things, Shea smiled.

"Do you ever wonder why we keep fucking things up?"

Sidney looked over at Shea confused.

"You know, we promise things when we have no intention of keeping the promise, and we give others rings that had already been on someone else's fingers, and we pretend we hate each other, and that we aren't still secretly in love with each other, and that we can be friends, but we keep fucking it up. We can't ben friends, we can barely spend a day with each other without some encounter that brings up old feelings. I mean am I the only one who's thought about this?"

Sidney shook his head, "Every day." Shea sighed. She would not break Sidney and Brooke up, she couldn't do that to another girl, she would file her unrequited feelings under the book titled "DO NOT OPEN, EVER!!" and she would do exactly what the book told her to do, she would never again open the book full of emotions and regrets. But it was either, have a relationship, which was out of the picture, have a friendship, which neither of them could handle, or not be anything. Shea chose the latter.

"Maybe we should just get space, figure things out?"

"Absolutely not, Shea. I let you go once, but I won't let myself do it again. I need you in my life, and I have a feeling you need mine in yours. And right now there are obstacles--"

"I would call your fiancé more of a roadblock.."

"Roadblocks," Sidney said his lips turning upward, "But we'll figure it out. In a relationship or just friends, I am going to make you be in my life."

Shea looked out at the water. She had no idea what time it was, but her blaring headache told her it was probably early enough, but the water looked so calm and cool. Relaxed and flowing in a way that said "I know where I'm going." She wanted desperately to be that water, to know what the hell she was doing with her life.

"God we're so fucked aren't we?" Shea said propping her elbows on her knees and putting her head in her hands.

Sidney chuckled, "Yeah we are, but we were always fucked, from the beginning. That's just us Shea, perfectly imperfect."

Shea was about to reply when she heard a branch crack behind her. It was too late by the time she turned around, the bucket of cold ice water was already being poured onto her. Sidney getting the same treatment. They both looked at one another, before Sidney stood up and picked up one of the culprits, running down the dock, and throwing him into the water. Shea saw more and more people zip by and throw themselves into the water too. Shea joined them.

It wasn't long before everybody was splashing around and dunking people under the water. Some of the guys had stolen the keys to the jet skis and began riding around. Sidney went up to the house and grabbed the boat keys. Everybody that wasn't on the jet skis went and made up some sandwiches and plenty of beer. It was relaxing and fun and Shea even caught Sidney smiling at her a couple times.

So she went over to cooler and grabbed two beers, handing one to Sidney. He gladly obliged, taking a sip.

"Ah ah ah, we haven't said a cheers yet," Sidney took the bottle away from his lips, "To whatever we are."

Sidney raised his beer, "To whatever we are."

They clinked glasses.

Everybody around them had been watching the spectacle. Most of the girls had their hands on their hearts "awing", but James and John had a different idea.

"I bet you $50 Sidney leaves Brooke at the alter for Shea."

"Deal."

"I'm gonna win Tavares, so you might as well give me the fifty dollars now."

John laughed, "No I think Sidney's gonna leave Brooke for Shea, I just think it will be sooner than the wedding." Neal laughed before sticking out his hand.

"You're on."

Notes

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p.s.- would you guys kill me if I had Sidney end up with Brooke? :)