Still There For Me

Being in Cole Harbour has been overwhelming for me. It’s nice to see those who I remain in contact with and family of course, but other than that it’s mainly been Sid who actually gets out of the house, much like in Pittsburgh. He has tons of friends still here and always makes an effort to go and see them. The odd time I’ve tagged along but I know he needs his bro time and it’ll help him with his mood.

We’ve gone to dinner or to the local sports bar that we used to go to, and we’ve gone for afternoon visits together with the kids for playdates with friends of his that have kids too. Right now he’s actually out with the kids seeing his good friend Andrew who just had a baby with his wife Laura. I know Andrew well but I know nothing about her whatsoever. So I’m just sitting at home waiting for him to come home.

I went to my parents house for a bit but left early because my dad had to get up for work early. I even went shopping for little knick knacks at a couple shops in town. In the end, I still went back to a large empty house with my dogs. The way it used to be a few short years ago. While reflecting on my past few years my family came home. He carried both sleeping kids in and put them to bed with ease. I remained in my seat on the couch with my blankets and pjs.

“How was your day away from the kids?” he asked walking back downstairs.

“It was okay, yours?”

“It was great. Jackson is so cute and so adorable. He’s only a couple weeks older than Ty. And Andrew and Carolyn were a blast and we had a great time.”

“Seems like it,” I said changing the channel.

“You okay? You just had the day to yourself and I thought you'd enjoy that.”

“I’m fine.”

“Don’t give me that, I know you’re not.”

“What do you want me to say Sid?”

“What’s on your mind. That’s a great start.”

“I’m just upset that you left me here again.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve gone out to see some family or friends how many times this week and how many times have I actually gone with you? You’re off having a blast catching up with some old friends, who I was friends with too, and didn’t even invite me once. Do you know how that feels?”

“What do you want me to do? It’s a guy thing.”

“So it was a guy thing having dinner with Andrew and his wife Carolyn and their son, and our kids, but not with me? I understand we aren’t married but you could have at least asked me to go with you.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll keep that in mind next time.”

“Sid, next time will be in Pittsburgh. And you know it’ll be for work and I won’t even be able to go with you. The only time you bring me somewhere is when it’s a fancy event.”

“That’s not true.”

“When’s the last time I went out with you and a couple friends just to hang out besides dinner?”

“I bring you all the time!”

“No you don’t. You used to. Remember when we were friends and we’d always make time to hang out with each other, even if it was with your friends. Now when we come home I never see any of those people. They just want to see me, they just want to see you.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yeah it is Sid.”

“Well have you seen any of your friends?”

“What friends do I have here?”

“What do you mean? You have tons of friends here.”

“Your kidding me,” I said, lip quivering. I’m truly upset at this conversation right now and the way it’s going. “You seriously have got to be kidding me.”

“Ashley, what are you talking about?”

“I don’t have many friends here Sidney. I lost all of them years ago.” I took a pause. “You always have been my best and truest friend. I have Katie, but other than that I’ve lost them all.”

“Wh-why have you lost them?” he asked, genuinely confused. He sat next to me and put his hand on my thigh and rubbed it with his thumb.

“People never liked me because I was so close with you. Everyone in town knew we were always close and girls always hated me for that and boys were afraid of me. Yeah, I was friends with your friends but I always had difficulties making friends here. When you left it got a little easier and I made work friends but that all ended. I’ve been sitting on my ass all day doing nothing.”

“I had no idea that happened to you,” he said in a low tone. “I’m really sorry. It’s all my fault.”

“It's not all your fault Sid. People have jealously issues, we don’t. It just sucks coming home and you always going out and seeing friends and I’m just here because of you. I’m the additional package that no one wants to see. Even in Pittsburgh or when we travel it’s the same thing. You have so many friends and people you know and I don’t. I can’t help but be jealous about that. Like I’m so happy for you but I can’t help but want that.”

“You have friends though Ash, and people do want to see you.”

“No they don’t. I have a few friends but that’s it. I find it worst in Pittsburgh because I only have some of the wives, and they come and go. You know people in town or through business deals. It gets hard on me sometimes, I’m not gonna lie.” The look of sadness on his face killed me on the inside, almost as much as hearing that hurt him.

“I know it’s hard and I know that it seems like I have a bunch of friends but I really don’t have that many people I’m close with. You know what players I’m friends with and which ones I’m friendly towards, same with people I deal with in everything else, but I only have friends from back home really. They’ve known me before all of this and I trust them. And I feel terrible that you need to deal with what I’m dealing with.”

“What do you mean?”

“Because we are in the public eye we have to be careful with who we are friends with because some people could be faking it to try and get into our lives and use us. I know we both don’t want that and I know you have a great read on people. Which is why I know you are very particular with who you let in, and don’t tell me I don’t know that about you cuz I do,” he smirked, making my heart melt.

“You got that right,” I wiped my eyes. Yes, I’m crying in front of him but I’ve never been the girl to care. To some tears show weakness, for me, they show honesty and bravery.

“You deserve the world Ashley. And I know it’s hard on you from time to time, and I know it’s hard to deal with me. But you’ve been so amazing and strong through it all and I’m glad you’re talking to me about it. I know that you have always had difficulties making friends but I’m so greatful that you are my best friend and always have been. Out of everyone in my life, you’re the most important to me,” he whispered, cupping my face softly and wiping another tear that fell from my face.

“Thank you Sid,” I sniffled. He leant up and kissed my forehead gently.

“Anytime Ashley. I love you so much and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, and I love you too.”

“How about we go out and do one of your favourite things tomorrow?”

“What thing?” I asked, getting a little excited on the inside.

“You’ll see tomorrow,” he smiled, turning off the TV and picking me up bridal style. We began to walk up to the stairs and the dogs ran to their beds. “Is that my sweater?”

“Yeah, I stole it,” I giggled.

“You look better in it than I do anyway.” He plopped me down on the bed and asked me, “do you want to go to bed and cuddle?”

“Yes please,” I crawled to my side and pulled the covers back. He stripped down and I took off his hoodie and we got close and cuddly. I love the way he cuddles me when I’m in this mood.

**Next Day**
Sidney dropped the kids off at my parents house for the afternoon so we could have a day to ourselves. We first went on a walk down by the lake where we loved to go to as kids, and then we went shopping. Last time I was doing this I was pregnant with Ty. And the time before then it was when I was pregnant with Kylie. Obviously we met a couple fans and he stopped for some pictures or signatures but it was just primarily us.

By the time we were done our bags were full and we needed to go get the kids. We had the idea to go to our old favourite restaurant for dinner. I think the owners would like to see us and get to see the kids. I got them a whole bunch of new outfits and myself some actually, and we made a pit stop for Sid to pick up his custom jeans. I couldn’t wait to take them off later.

When we got to the diner the hostess Norma got so excited to see us. Her face lit up lighter than the sky. “Look who the cat dragged in! I heard you twos were in town, and I didn’t believe you’d come home and not come to say hi!” She hugged Sid and then myself.

“How could we not? It’s our favourite place in town,” Sid smiled.

“And look how big you kids are!” she said picking Kylie up and giving her a hug. She loves everyone and was happy to give her a hug. ”How old are you Kylie?”

“I’m two!” she squealed.

“Not yet, almost,” I smiled.

“And look at this cutie, hello handsome. You’re so big! How old is he now?”

“Four months, going onto five,” I answered.

“Can I show you to a table?”

“You know it,” Sid said, walking the family over. When we took a seat and got comfortable Sidney began to explain why we were here to Kylie. “When we were kids we came here all the time for dinner. They have really good chicken fingers and fries.” Her eyes grew wide at the sound of her favourite meal. I know what she’s getting. “This is a great place.”

“Yummy food?” she asked.

“Oh yeah,” He nodded. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes daddy!” she said colouring her page.

I was cradling Ty and feeding him a bottle while Sid occupied Kylie until Norma came back to take our order. “The usual?”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Sid replied.

“You got it kid. Oh, I know I shouldn't call you that,” she blushed.

“It’s okay, Ashley still does.”

“That’s so cute. I’ll be back as soon as I’m done.”

While waiting Sidney’s phone rang and it was from someone from the NHLPA. He excused himself and left the area to go take the call. It made me a little worried to see him leave like that fast. Plus the expression on his face really concerned me. A couple minutes later he came back and Norma brought us our food.

“Look Kylie your food is here,” I said, trying to sound excited for her while on the inside I felt nothing but anxiety.

“Yay!” She clapped her hands.

“You are too cute!” Norma said putting her plate down in front of her. “I can’t get over what a beautiful family you are. I’m so happy that you two even got together in the first place. I always hoped you two would.”

“You and me both,” Sid replied, causing me to melt.

“Aw Sidney! Ashley, you got yourself a good man.”

“I know I do, I’m so thankful.”

“But on a serious note, get this girl a ring!” She nudged him while she walked away.

“Yeah Sid, get this girl a ring,” I mocked him.

“Get a ring!” Kylie repeated, causing us to laugh.

“Do you want me to get mommy a ring?” She nodded, chewing on a French fry.

“What was the call about?” I asked in a low voice, not wanting to draw attention.

“I have to go speak in Toronto in a few weeks.”

“Really? Speak what?”

“A speech at a huge conference. I don’t know much about it yet but I’ll find out more when we get home.”

“Okay baby, let’s just enjoy the night with our kids first,” I kissed him.

Still no end to this stupid lock out.

Notes

Outfit of the chapter: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=120392488
A nice lil update. Thoughts? Thanks! :)