Falling For You Was Out Of My Control
Prologue
“Hey Jessie how you are feeling?” my best friend stood at my front door with a smile on her face.
“Hey, I am ok,” I let her in and headed back to the lounge room, “little sore but it’s nothing.”
“Have you been to see Liam?” she sat down on the couch opposite me.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I shook my head.
“You know your going to have to face him sooner or later?”
“I know and I have, he doesn’t remember me and there is nothing I can do about it.”
“Well didn’t you tell him who you are? Ian has spent all morning with him catching up.”
“You know how much his mother hates me, she was there and I didn’t have the chance.”
“Well she’s not there now, come on. You guys aren’t just going to throw away 3 years like this,” she grabbed my hand and pulled me up disregarding how much pain I was in and dragged me out of the house.
I wanted to be with Liam so much. I loved him, he was my best friend, he was my whole world and yeah we fought sometimes and he was stubborn but he was perfect none the less.
“You ready?” she stood behind me as I looked through his room window to see him sound asleep.
“He’s sleeping, maybe we should just come back.”
“No, come on,” she knocked on the door and as we entered there he was.
He opened his eyes and the moment he saw me they lit up, “Hey,” he smiled.
“Hey.”
“I am going to leave you two alone, I will be back,” Anna went to disappear.
“No wait, where are you going?”
“Somewhere, now get over there,” she nudged me towards the chair at his bedside.
“Jessie right?” he looked at me with hope in his eyes.
“Yeah,” I nodded and he looked relieved.
“They told me who you are, like to me, who you are to me… I am sorry I can’t remember,” he looked so sad and helpless.
“It’s ok, it’s not your fault,” I reached over and touched his hand.
He twitched at first but then his hand opened up and took mine, “how did I ever get such a beautiful girlfriend?” I felt the blush run up my neck, I love him so much.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged.
“Oh no, you don’t have amnesia too?” his eyes widened with a smile on his face. He was taking this whole thing so well. I would be freaking out right now, but he just sat here accepting everything people told him.
“That’s right it was your sense of humour,” I laughed.
We sat talking for a while and I thought maybe this could work, sticking around waiting for everything to get back to normal it would be fine.
“Here you go Mr Richards, Yoghurt, your favourite,” a nurse came in with a tray and placed it on the table in front of him.
“Yoghurts not your favourite,” I curled an eyebrow at him.
“Well I don’t know,” he shrugged, “I just thought it was my favourite because I eat it everyday.”
“No Liam eats ice cream, all the time.”
“Oh well maybe next time I will get ice cream.”
He sat there looking at the tub like maybe with some mind power it would move.
“Are you going to eat that?” I pointed to it sitting on the table.
“I kind of can’t,” he looked terrified by it.
“Why?”
“Well these don’t exactly work properly,” he showed me his hands, “I can’t hold a spoon yet and tub kind of just falls out of my hands.”
“Well maybe you should try again,” I suggested picking up and handing it to him.
“Here,” I used my hands to close his around the tub and showed him how to hold the spoon.
“I can’t,” he couldn’t hold the spoon properly and I could see him getting frustrated.
“Just try again,” he wrapped his fingers around the handle and it shook furiously as he brought the spoon to his mouth.
“That’s it,” he tried so hard but from concentrating so hard on the spoon he dropped the tub.
“I can’t do it,” he gave up as I picked up the tub and spoon and put them back on the table.
“I just wish people would leave me alone,” I could see the tears welling in his eyes.
“No you don’t.”
“Yes I do, I am ruining everyone’s life and especially yours. So just go,” he pushed my hand away as I tried to clean up the mess.
“No Liam I am here for you.”
“No go please, I don’t want this to stop you from having a life.”
“But I don’t want to live my life without you,” I went to touch his cheek.
“NO! Jessie just go!” he was getting so worked up and I didn’t have a choice I had to go.
I reached the door as he sobbed in his bed, “Goodbye Liam.”
“Goodbye Jessie,” I heard him whisper and couldn’t help but cry.
I walked down the halls regretting each step I took. Just go back Jessie, help him, don’t let him push you away. But I couldn’t, he wouldn’t let me. If there was one thing I knew about Liam that hadn’t changed, when he made a decision it was final. He was going to shut everyone out of his life because he felt like he was going to ruin it.
“Hey, I am ok,” I let her in and headed back to the lounge room, “little sore but it’s nothing.”
“Have you been to see Liam?” she sat down on the couch opposite me.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I shook my head.
“You know your going to have to face him sooner or later?”
“I know and I have, he doesn’t remember me and there is nothing I can do about it.”
“Well didn’t you tell him who you are? Ian has spent all morning with him catching up.”
“You know how much his mother hates me, she was there and I didn’t have the chance.”
“Well she’s not there now, come on. You guys aren’t just going to throw away 3 years like this,” she grabbed my hand and pulled me up disregarding how much pain I was in and dragged me out of the house.
I wanted to be with Liam so much. I loved him, he was my best friend, he was my whole world and yeah we fought sometimes and he was stubborn but he was perfect none the less.
“You ready?” she stood behind me as I looked through his room window to see him sound asleep.
“He’s sleeping, maybe we should just come back.”
“No, come on,” she knocked on the door and as we entered there he was.
He opened his eyes and the moment he saw me they lit up, “Hey,” he smiled.
“Hey.”
“I am going to leave you two alone, I will be back,” Anna went to disappear.
“No wait, where are you going?”
“Somewhere, now get over there,” she nudged me towards the chair at his bedside.
“Jessie right?” he looked at me with hope in his eyes.
“Yeah,” I nodded and he looked relieved.
“They told me who you are, like to me, who you are to me… I am sorry I can’t remember,” he looked so sad and helpless.
“It’s ok, it’s not your fault,” I reached over and touched his hand.
He twitched at first but then his hand opened up and took mine, “how did I ever get such a beautiful girlfriend?” I felt the blush run up my neck, I love him so much.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged.
“Oh no, you don’t have amnesia too?” his eyes widened with a smile on his face. He was taking this whole thing so well. I would be freaking out right now, but he just sat here accepting everything people told him.
“That’s right it was your sense of humour,” I laughed.
We sat talking for a while and I thought maybe this could work, sticking around waiting for everything to get back to normal it would be fine.
“Here you go Mr Richards, Yoghurt, your favourite,” a nurse came in with a tray and placed it on the table in front of him.
“Yoghurts not your favourite,” I curled an eyebrow at him.
“Well I don’t know,” he shrugged, “I just thought it was my favourite because I eat it everyday.”
“No Liam eats ice cream, all the time.”
“Oh well maybe next time I will get ice cream.”
He sat there looking at the tub like maybe with some mind power it would move.
“Are you going to eat that?” I pointed to it sitting on the table.
“I kind of can’t,” he looked terrified by it.
“Why?”
“Well these don’t exactly work properly,” he showed me his hands, “I can’t hold a spoon yet and tub kind of just falls out of my hands.”
“Well maybe you should try again,” I suggested picking up and handing it to him.
“Here,” I used my hands to close his around the tub and showed him how to hold the spoon.
“I can’t,” he couldn’t hold the spoon properly and I could see him getting frustrated.
“Just try again,” he wrapped his fingers around the handle and it shook furiously as he brought the spoon to his mouth.
“That’s it,” he tried so hard but from concentrating so hard on the spoon he dropped the tub.
“I can’t do it,” he gave up as I picked up the tub and spoon and put them back on the table.
“I just wish people would leave me alone,” I could see the tears welling in his eyes.
“No you don’t.”
“Yes I do, I am ruining everyone’s life and especially yours. So just go,” he pushed my hand away as I tried to clean up the mess.
“No Liam I am here for you.”
“No go please, I don’t want this to stop you from having a life.”
“But I don’t want to live my life without you,” I went to touch his cheek.
“NO! Jessie just go!” he was getting so worked up and I didn’t have a choice I had to go.
I reached the door as he sobbed in his bed, “Goodbye Liam.”
“Goodbye Jessie,” I heard him whisper and couldn’t help but cry.
I walked down the halls regretting each step I took. Just go back Jessie, help him, don’t let him push you away. But I couldn’t, he wouldn’t let me. If there was one thing I knew about Liam that hadn’t changed, when he made a decision it was final. He was going to shut everyone out of his life because he felt like he was going to ruin it.
ugh! love this............update please!!!!
5/21/14