I stare at the pan of chicken in front of me, vaguely checking the internal temperature. It’s perfect, so I pull it out and set it on the stove top. I turn my attention to the asparagus, which should be ready in a couple minutes.

I hear the condo door open and the sound of James’s suitcase wheeling along the hardwood floor. I take a deep breath and try my best to put on a happy face.

“Hey babe. It smells amazing in here.” He says, coming into the kitchen and planting a kiss on the top of my head.
“Good. Everything is ready except the asparagus.” I reply, my voice a little shaky.
“I’m gonna take my stuff to the bedroom and be right back.”

I give him a small smile and he heads back to the bedroom. A minute later, I know the asparagus is ready and I begin plating our food. James comes back and opens the refrigerator door, searching for something.

“Want a beer?” He asks.
“No thanks.”
He looks at me suspiciously. I never turn down alcohol.
“Is this a bottle of wine kind of dinner?” He asks.
“No. You can have a beer. I have a water already out.” I respond.

He gives me a small questioning look before grabbing a Guinness out of the refrigerator and opening it. I grab our plates and take them to the kitchen table, sitting down at my seat. James follows and I see he’s grabbed my glass of water for me.

“Thanks.” I say as he sets it down.
“No problem.”

The rest of dinner is filled with small talk about the away wins against New York and Columbus, and the upcoming home stand against Boston, Chicago, Minnesota and Dallas. I’m pretty sure James can tell that my head just isn’t in the conversation, though, and he grabs the dishes when we’re done without uttering a word.

I follow him into the kitchen and begin putting the leftovers away while he does the dishes. We’re still kinda quiet, and I know as soon as everything is cleaned up he’s going to ask about it.

I’m right, of course. But fortunately he waits until we’re settled on the couch instead of springing it on me before I’m fully ready.

“So what’s going on, love?” He asks.
I take a deep breath.
“I- um. I have something to tell you...” I start.
I pause, unsure of what to say next.
“Actually, it would be easier if I showed you.”

Leaving him sitting on the couch confused, I get up and head to our bathroom. I reach under the sink and grab the small ziplock bag I had hidden there a couple nights ago. It makes my stomach clench to look at it. Tears start to well up in my eyes.

I take the bag back out to James and can see the change in his demeanor when he sees that I’m crying.

“Lizzy, what’s wrong?” He asks.

I don’t say anything, but instead hold out the bag for him. He takes it from me and studies the contents. I can see the exact moment when he realizes what it is, and what it means.

“Is this-” His question is cut off by a choked out gasp. “Is this real?” He asks.

I can’t contain my sob anymore and I collapse onto the couch next to him, tears streaking my face. I manage to nod my head before closing my eyes to hold back the flood of emotions flowing through my body.

“Baby.” He whispers. “Why are you crying?”
“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” I sob.

He thinks for a minute before responding.

“No, I guess it wasn’t-”
That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
“-But that doesn’t mean this can’t be a good thing. A- a great thing, actually.”
I shake my head.

No. No no no no no. This can’t be a good thing.

“You’re only twenty six, in the middle of your career. Besides, we haven’t even been together that long.” I start to explain.

I’ve thought about all of the reasons this isn't going to work a lot over the last couple of days.

“It doesn’t matter that we haven’t been together that long. I know I love you, and I know we’re meant to be together anyway. And sure, I’m still in the middle of my career. But look at Duper. He’s got a whole army of kids and he’s still playing. I can still play and be a- I can still be a dad at the same time.”

His breath catches as he says that three letter word. The one I don’t think anyone would put next to James Neal’s name in a long time.

“I’m only twenty two. I haven’t even graduated from college yet. I can’t be- I can’t have- I can’t!”

“Why not? You’re graduating next month, Liz. You job lets you work from home most of the time if you need to. Sure, you’re young. But plenty of women have kids a lot younger than you. There’s a whole weird American show about girls six years younger than you being pregnant. If they can do it, so can you. So can we.”

I sob and he pulls me into his arms, rocking my body slightly.

“What if you decide in a couple years you don’t want to be with me anymore?” I ask. “What if it turns out I’m not the one for you?”

James sighs.
“I promise you that isn’t going to happen.”
“But what if?”
“If that does happen- and I mean if- then we figure it out at that point in time. But I can promise you right now that isn’t going to happen.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know I love you, Liz. Because I know I’m meant to be with you. Because you’re carrying my baby. You’ve got a little Neal inside you, waiting to join this world with us as its parents.”

I snuggle my head farther into his chest, feeling the warmth spreading from his body.

“I don’t know how to be a mom.” I admit softly.
“No one knows how to be a parent at first.” He chuckles. “That’s why so many first-borns are a little crazy when they’re younger.”

I laugh at the implications, since he and I are both the oldest in our families.

“God, your smile is so beautiful.” He sighs. “I haven’t seen it since before I left for New York.”
“I’m sorry.” I say, looking down at my hands.
“Don’t be.” He reaches for my chin, cupping it to force me to look in his eyes. “Hey- I said don’t be.”
“Okay.” I whisper softly.

He leans forward to capture my lips in a kiss and I can feel the joy spreading from his body.

“I’m really going to be a father.” He says when we pull away.
“Yeah.” I respond.
“That’s so amazing.”

-------------------

The two of us can’t keep the secret for much longer.

And when I say ‘the two of us’ I really mean James can’t keep the secret.

After I’ve settled down from my mini-panic over being a young mother, he jumps up and down excitedly as we make phone calls to both sets of parents and all nine siblings. They’re all excited for us, though I think his sister is the most excited.

And the next day, he forces me to go with him to practice and spills it to the whole locker room loudly as soon as we walk through the doors. The men who have become like an extra family to me take turns congratulating us, and I’m finally starting to feel like maybe this won’t be totally horrible.

James was right. My job will allow me to work at home as often as I need to. And (I hate to think about this, but....) if working and being a mother at the same time becomes too much to handle, James is making plenty of money that I can take some time off to focus on Baby Neal. Plus, if sixteen year olds can handle being mothers on a television show, I can handle being a mother too.

Notes

Requested. Enjoy.

Sorry it's been a couple days. Life is definitely catching up with me.