AAOOOSC! Mini Stories!

One afternoon, about an hour before practice for a game, Jonathan Bernier was lounging on his sofa, reading a Sports Illustrated magazine when hunger got to him.
"Aw, I want something to eat..." He flipped a page advertising a cologne to a page of LeBron James with flames in the background
"Mmm...what can I eat...?" He laid his head back on the pillow for a moment with his eyes closed. "Hamburger...no...salad...no...sushi...naaaa... I know--" He sat up straight with a huge grin on his face. "Maple syrup!" Then he frowned. "But I can't have maple syrup, especially before a game 'cause I'll get all sticky... But I don't care!"
Bernier has the powers of the Toronto Maple Leafs, which are the ability to control plants and shoot maple syrup out of his hands. But the con of his powers is that if he eats too much maple syrup, he would get all sticky since he already has enough with his powers; it would be an overload of syrup... And Bernier loves maple syrup.
Bernier jumped off from his sofa and ran over to his pantry, which was overflowing with bottles of syrup. "Ohhh...I need more maple syrup...I'm running low..." He rushed out of the house with his bunny slippers and got into the car and drove to the nearest Trader Joe's, which wasn't that far.
Bernier grabbed a red cart and nonchalantly strolled into the store, looking for the aisle the syrup is at.
He finally found it by the canned foods and nuts. "Yay, more syrup!" He grabbed an armful of the huge bottles of syrup and gently placed them into the cart. He placed the rest of those over-sized bottles from the shelf and into the cart.
"Excuse me, but are you going to buy all of those bottles?" a worker asked Bernier.
"Uh-huh. Including this one." Bernier pulled a bottle out from the cart, twisted it opened and began to drink straight from it. "Mmmm...yum!" He smiled with his eyes closed.
"Okay..." The worker walked away.
Bernier pushed his cart to the cash register and began to pile the bottles onto the black moving section of the desk while still drinking.
"And that will be 174 dollars and 61 cents," the cashier told him.
"Okie dokie." He gave his credit card that had that Toronto Maple Leafs symbol on it to her and she swiped it and gave it back to him. "Thanks."
"Have a nice day!" she told him.
Bernier pushed the cart to his car and loaded the bags of maple syrup bottles into the car. He drove back home, drinking his third bottle of syrup. "Hmmm...I'm not sticky yet! Yay!"

The game was versus the Montréal Canadians in Toronto.
"And Subban has the puck, he's skatin' straight towards Bernier, he shoots--saved by Bernier!" a reporter shouted.
Bernier was in a little ball, making sure that he had the puck, which he did on the front of his jersey.
An NHL official skated over to Bernier to grab the puck. "May I have the puck?"
"Okay." Bernier got up, but the puck stayed dangling on his blue jersey. "Uh, that's weird." He used the edge of his catching glove to scrape the puck off, but it was...stuck.
"What's up with the puck?"
"It's stuck on my jersey." Oh no...the stickiness is here because I drank too much maple syrup...NO!
"Interesting." The official grabbed the puck and tried to pull it off of Bernier's jersey, but it was like it was superglued to him. "Oh well, gotta grab another puck. Is it okay to have a puck on you like that?"
"Yea, I mean, I can't take it off."
"Weird. First, let me help you." The official skated away and came back with a knife. He tried to cut the blade between the jersey and the puck, but it didn't work. "Hmmm..." He left then skated back with a saw. The NHL official sawed the wide blade between the puck and the jersey, but it didn't go anywhere. "Oh my..." He rushed out of the rink and came back with a chainshaw and with all of his might, the offcial pushed the rackety blade between the jersey and puck, but it was stubborn. "Gosh, sorry, but it won't come out at all. Gotta grab a new puck." The NHL official skated away and told the other officials what happened to the puck.
So the game continued and every time a Canadian shot a puck at Bernier and he would save it, it got stuck on him, from his helmet, to his leg pads, to his blocker, to his stick, to the rest of his jersey.
But during the middle of the first period, PK Subban tripped and slipped under Bernier, sliding into the net, causing Bernier to crash into the crossbar.
"Uh oh..." Bernier tried to get off of the crossbar, but it was like it was part of him. "Oh deary me..." He bent down, while the goal net ripped off from the ice.
"Oh thanks, man!" PK got up and skated away.
"What on earth is going on?!" the head NHL official roared at Bernier.
"Ummm...the net got stuck on me...."
"Ugh, we can't let you play like this, though...."
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's fine. Just go to the locker room and get that thing and those pucks off of you--"
"No, no, no, I think I got it--" Bernier began to skate around in circles, trying to grab the net like a dog chasing its tail. "Heh...so tired... Whew, I'm gonna..." Bernier skated away slowly to the locker room, but got stuck at the entrance, thanks to the goal net. "Aw, man." He tried to go in a few more times until he got an idea. "Hey, James!" He turned to the bench where James Van Riemsdyk was messing with his Gatorade bottle.
James turned to Bernier. "Uh, yes?"
"Can you pour water on me?"
"Uh, why?"
"To get this goal net off of me. I can't go anywhere with it."
"How much water?" James began to slowly twist the orange cap off of the green bottle.
"A lot."
"Dude, we don't have a lot of water here--this isn't a football stadium."
"Do you want to save your goalie or not?"
James walked over to Bernier and poured his water on the back of his jersey.
Bernier shook his back a bit. "I feel it getting off. Get some more."
"The guys are gonna be so mad at me when they find out all their water's gone...."
James began to help Bernier get the goal net off of him with water. A few hard minutes later, the net was free.
"Yay! Thank you!"
"No prob." James skated on the ice since the play was stopped; Bernier followed him.
"Can I play now?" Bernier asked the officials.
"Now that that net is off of ya, sure."
"Yes, yes, thank you!!!" James Reimer skated out of the net. "Finally, I'm outta here! I can't stop those slow pucks! So hard!" He got into the bench.
"Yay!" Bernier skated back into the net, making sure he doesn't touch the goal net.
At the end of the game, the Maple Leafs won and no one was able to recognize Bernier since he was covered with pucks from skates to helmet.
"Hey guys, look at me! Imma puck monster!" Bernier extended his arms out beside him, showing his teammates most of the pucks he saved.
"Let's count the pucks to see how many shots Jonathan saved," Phil Kessel told his teammates.
"You wouldn't want to do that--you just might get stuck," Bernier warned him.
"Okay, hehe, just kidding." Phil backed away a bit.
And with a nice shower, Bernier was sticky-free, but at home he treated himself to a box of Trader Joe's Maple Leaf cookies... And he will continue drinking maple syrup because to him, it's the best thing ever.


The End.

Notes