The time Crosby and I had shared previously in the closet together had been very brief. Despite its brevity, I had replayed the moment in my mind thousands of times, even envisioned what might have happened had we not been interrupted. The memory, the fantasies, well, neither did the real Crosby any justice.

This time, he wasn’t polite. Crosby did not wait for permission and his tongue pushed into my mouth hungrily, not that I objected in any way. Everything was better than I remembered. Though my ribs were currently protesting from the tightness of his grip, I ignored the pain as I was too engrossed with how our bodies were coming together and the subsequent heat.

Crosby hadn’t showered yet, but I found I didn’t really care. Sweat or not, this man intoxicated me. His entire being was a dangerous drug that made me leave all of my common sense behind.

He pushed me hard against what I was pretty sure was the door. I felt his hands move down to my butt, squeezing it, causing me to let out a low moan unconsciously which only encouraged him. He quickly lifted me up, as if I weighed nothing, and I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist. Upon doing so, I hit my left foot against something and a sharp pain shot through my broken foot up to my brain. The pain broke through the lust.

Once again, I was in a closet again making out with Crosby.

“No,” I moaned, as he began kissing my neck. My brain started going foggy again for he had found the place on my neck that was my kryptonite. He quickly stopped and returned to my lips, not understanding that I was telling him to completely stop. So I did the only thing I could think of, I bit down on his lip hard.

“FUCK!” He yelled dropping me unceremoniously on the ground. I winced as I hit the ground hard, and I checked quickly to see if there had been anymore damage to any parts of my body. Everything seemed about the the same so I gingerly stood back up.

Crosby was gently touching his lip as if checking for blood or something. I glanced around and realized we actually were in some sort of utility closet. I sighed, ‘Classly Lily, so classy.’

“Why did you do that?” Crosby asked glaring at me through the dim light.

I stared at him dumbfounded, “Seriously? You are asking me why?”

Crosby stared at me, expecting an answer. It was so dangerous being in a small room like this with him. I couldn’t keep my head on straight for very long. I could feel those stomach feelings coming back and the sweaty Crosby smell was going to do me in.

I shook my head.

“Rivers,” he took a step towards me, that look in his eye again.

“No!” I held out a hand, signally for him to keep his distance, “What about her?”

“What about who?”

“Taylor.” I spat out.

Crosby looked at me confused, “What does this have to do with Taylor?”

“Are you kidding me right now?” I nearly shrieked at him. How could Crosby be like this? How could this be the same Crosby that came over to Geno’s just to make sure I was okay and even had the stupid moose and road facts at the ready. The same Crosby who went out of his way for the damn tickets for tonight. The same damn Crosby who carried me to my bed, who got in a raspberry jam fight, who had the adorable laugh, who--

“What does she have to do with any of this?”

I just shook my head. He wasn’t even denying her existence.

“Hey,” he started to reach out to touch me.

“No, don’t touch me.” I took a step back and inhaled sharply in pain; I had misstepped on my bad foot and was paying for it.

“Rivers, did I hurt you?” Crosby asked his tone concerned.

“No.” I didn’t understand why it sounded like I was lying. He hadn’t hurt my foot, my foot was already hurt, “But you need to get over yourself and stop fucking around.”

And with that I ripped open the closet door not even checking if people were out there and stormed out and away. Well, I did my best to storm, it was more like clunking away with a purpose.

It took me a while, but I eventually found my way back to the visitor's locker room. Right as I was about to open the door, the door swung open almost knocking me over. James was standing there, looking hurriedly dressed, his hair still slightly dripping.

“Lily! I was coming to look for you!” James crowed happily. I realized Jen was standing behind him, smirking.

“James,” I tried to sound happy and pleasant, but I knew my voice sounded way off.

“Sid,” Jen said cheerfully.

“No,” I said sharply, “That is James.”

“Sid,” Jen pointed behind me.

I turned around and Crosby was standing behind me. There was a moment when we both glared at each other in silence. Crosby then headed into the locker room without word.

“What as that all about?” James asked inquisitively.

“Not a clue,” I said looking away.

---

I stared mindlessly at the T.V. from my wonderful couch in the basement of my house in Colorado wishing I was out boarding versus being stuck here.
It had been 6 days since Jen and I had returned to Colorado from New York. I had really not left my spot on my couch except to bathe and to get food. This amount of free time and a cast on my foot was not a good combination for me. It didn’t help that I was not in the best of moods for some insane reason.

I heard a noise from upstairs but didn’t bother to move; Jen was on her way over and bringing breakfast.

“So like, I brought you a bunch of different stuff, but after seeing, uh, the kitchen, I realize you might not need anything.” she called coming down the stairs.

“Lils, have you moved since yesterday?” She asked grinning at me as she walked over to the couch and settled in next to me handing me a box of food and a smoothie.

I moaned as I hauled myself into a sitting position. I glanced down, she couldn’t tell that I had showered and changed clothes because I had on a Batman snuggie.

“Yup. But there is a 51 percent chance I slept down here again last night,” I said shrugging my shoulders grinning at her.

Jen didn’t say anything as she gently lifted my foot and propped pillows underneath it. Despite everything all the ridiculous shenanigans she could pull, she was really the best friend anyone could ever have. She opened up my laptop which was sitting near me on the couch and started doing something on it while I resumed staring at the TV but also eating breakfast.

“All done?” she asked after a while. I nodded and she took the empty box and cup and headed upstairs.

I felt warm, so I started fighting with the snuggie to untangle it from my arms and legs and eventually threw it off.

“Success!” I triumphantly yelled.

“What did you do?” I heard Jen call from the stairs, coming back down.

“Just won a battle.”

“Want to win another battle? Let’s go out and ge-” she stopped talking as she reached the front of the couch again. Her eyes flicked from my chest area to my eyes back to my chest back up to my eyes and back to my chest area where her gaze finally stopped. My eyes slowly moved downwards, and I expected to see a giant spider or something on me. I felt my entire body went cold. It wasn’t a giant spider, no, it was much, much worse.

After the previous night’s struggle of taking a bath while keeping my cast dry, plus all of the other stressors of my life--most in the forefront not being able to board, possibly losing my title, and well, Crosby, it had somehow made perfect sense to wear Crosby’s shirt. I should hate Crosby, but there was just something about that damn shirt. The only problem, I was still wearing Crosby’s shirt and now Jen was staring at me. There was no way to pass the shirt off as my own for it was obviously a couple sizes too big.

“Explain--” Jen motioned at the shirt I was wearing.

“Crosby left his shirt here in November,” my voice was a little rough. I wasn’t sure how it was possible, but my mouth and throat had gone completely dry.

“So, you just happened to be out of clean shirts?” she asked her eyes narrowing as if daring me to try to lie.

“No.”

“How often do you wear it.” this didn’t sound as much as a question but more like a demand.

“I, I might wear it sometimes.” I admitted, looking away from her.

There was a pause before Jen asked, “Sometimes?”

“More than sometimes.” I glanced up at the ceiling.

“Oh. My. God.” Jen took a pause between each of those words.

“Jen,” I started.

“I knew it.”

“Jen.”

“Oh my god.”

“Jen.”

“This is so awesome.”

“Jen.”

“I KNEW it! Like I totally knew it!”

“Jen.”

“You two obvs have chemistry.”

“Jen.”

“Do you realize the two of you would have uber super babies? Like think about the athletic genes--”

“JEN!” I threw a pillow at her. She caught it easily and sat down on the couch, scooting up next to me, her face only inches away, and she stared me down intently. I tried not to express anything on my face, but she caught it right away.

“Oh my god.”

“Jen, please let’s not go through this again.”

“You guys had sex?!” she squealed.

“No! We’ve only kissed!” I said defensively and then clasped my hands over my mouth.

Jen smirked victoriously, having won that round. “Only kissed?”

“Yeah,” I admitted closing my eyes, the shame was overwhelming. Jen was about to find out what an awful person I was.

“When? When he was here in Colorado?!”

I shook my head, “Last time I was in Pittsburgh. And at the game in New York.”

It took Jen a second to recover from this news, but the grin hadn’t left her face.

“Twice?!” she gleefully cackled, “And in New York? You both came back to the locker room so pissed off! I would never have guessed something romantical was going on. Jesus, we should get you both into acting! Oh this is so great Lils!”

I returned staring up at the ceiling, but I felt my lower lip slightly trembling.

“What’s the problem?” the worrying tone in her voice couldn’t distract me from the ceiling.

“Please don’t hate me.” I said quietly.

“Why would I hate you? This is fantastic!”

“He has a girlfriend,” I said quietly.

“No he doesn’t” Jen’s reply was instant and confident.

I nodded my head, still unable to look at her in my shame.

“He doesn’t.” Jen repeated herself.

“Yes he does! I saw her in September and then she called when he was here in November. Her name is Taylor.” I blurted all of this out and shut my eyes. Jen and I led pretty different lifestyles when it came to guys. However, cheating, being the other woman knowingly? Completely unacceptable.

There was a long moment of silence and then Jen began laughing.

“Why are you laughing?” I asked incredulously turning my head now staring at her.

“This explains absolutely everything. You have been so conflicted the last couple of months. I couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on. But you have gone these past several months, keeping all this in, obviously mad at yourself and him because you thought Taylor was his girlfriend. So you had feelings for a guy with a girlfriend and so you thought yourself as the other woman?” Jen asked still laughing. I didn’t respond, I just continued to stare at her.

“Lily Rivers. This Taylor you speak of, is Taylor Crosby. Taylor Crosby is Sid’s younger sister.” Jen spoke these words slowly and deliberately as if speaking to a child.

“What?” my tone was totally flat.

“Taylor Crosby, Sid’s baby sister.” Jen repeated those five words laughing again. I sat there staring at Jen trying to figure out these words.

“How do you know?” I finally sputtered.

“Because I google the hockey players, you dinglehopper! And I talk with Sidney. I know for a fact he has been single since before you knew him.”

“Oh.” I squeaked out. My brain was on rapid fire, though it didn’t seem to really be able to process anything at all. At the same time, my stomach was doing the thing again. The guilt I had been feeling for being so attracted to Crosby, for having the kisses in now two closets, all of it was totally unnecessary?

“Oh, indeed.” Jen smirked.

Crosby was single, and I was a huge ass. Why hadn’t I just confronted him with all of this? Why hadn’t I just been a fucking grown up and talked to him? What was I supposed to do now? I mean, all I knew was I liked kissing him and definitely wanted to explore more of that. But every time we were together it seemed like we argued, granted that was my fault, which was now quite obvious.

I glanced over at Jen who had been rather quiet and alarm bells went off in my head. She had taken my laptop, and was doing something on it, seeming rather focused and busy.

“What are you doing?” I asked suspiciously.

“First was looking at the Penguin’s schedule for the next couple of games. Now, I am checking on what flights are still available today which could get you to Pittsburgh by tonight,” she replied cheerfully.

I opened my mouth for a moment to protest, but shut it. Instead, I wiggled up, around, and over to the edge of the couch. Gently, standing up, I headed towards the stairs.

“Where are you going?” she called to my retreating form.

“I am going to start to pack.” I answered. “And it would be wonderful if you rented a car for me after you get the ticket.”

_________
“I’d like to thank you for joining us and we look forward to seeing you again. If this is your final destination, welcome home to Pittsburgh.”

I hadn’t slept a bit during the flight. My brain was too busy thinking about everything. Obviously I didn’t think that I could just go and leap into Crosby’s arms. It wasn’t like I even really liked him or anything. I just wanted to completely clear the air and tell him that I was really sorry, really stupid, and really sexually attracted to him. How could that go badly?

Worst case, I would embarrass myself and never be able to come back to Pittsburgh or show my face publicly again. Which would actually be terrible because I would really miss Geno. But I was pretty sure that Crosby and I established that we would be civil for Geno’s benefit. So I was hoping that when it turned out Crosby wanted nothing to do with me, we could at least remain civil for Geno.

This entire trip was crazy; I was crazy. I had left a message on Geno’s phone letting him know I was coming to Pittsburgh which consisted of me rambling of how I was going crazy in Colorado and was just really missing him so what if I came to Pittsburgh for a bit? Geno had texted me back saying he was beyond thrilled but he had a game tonight, so he would leave a ticket for me to get to the family box as well as a key for me in one of the plants by his front door if I just wanted to go straight to his house from the airport.

This had also given me something to think about on the plane: plan of action for tonight. And despite the several house, I didn’t really have a plan. My flight’s arrival time was in the middle of the game. So, my options were: 1. Go to the game and ambush Crosby. 2. Go stalk Crosby's house and wait for him there. 3. Go to Geno’s and wait for Geno and possible talk to Crosby tomorrow. 4. Go to Geno’s and don’t actually ever confront Crosby. 5. Turn around and go back to Colorado.

I stretched in my seat, sighing as I thought about what I should do, and took out my phone, turning it back on. I let out another sigh as the phone turned on reminding me it was March 30, 2013. I flipped off airplane mode as we taxied into the terminal.

Finally my phone stops buzzing, having caught up with all of the notifications. I flicked through the texts, and my heart stopped. Crosby? Oh dear god, did Jen? No, she wouldn’t. I opened the text.

“I don’t know if you saw it, but if you did or when you hear about it, I’m really fine. I do have a broken jaw and am headed to the hospital. Just wanted you to hear it from me”

Notes

Hey Friends.

Thanks so much for reading/reviewing/subscribing/rating! I will have another chapter up in a few days.

All of the playoff hugs.