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Of Icings, Halfpipes, and Pterodactyls

Chapter 15: This is why we can't have nice things (Part 1)

‘Something is not as it should be,’ my sleepy brain realized this and was trying to figure out what. Though, I wasn’t putting forth much effort to figure it out; I was much too preoccupied with the prospect of falling back to sleep. I loved sleep so much, life had a tendency to fall apart when one was awake. I was so incredibly comfortable and warm in this bed.

I snuggled my face deeper into my pillow, which was the perfect amount of firm and soft. The pillow seemed to inhale deeply then exhale and I felt myself being pulled closer into it. That was really funny, I hadn’t thought pillows were supposed to move.

Wait a second.

My eyes snapped wide open.

I was laying on my side, nestled into the body of a man who was laying on his back. The perfectly firm pillow that my head was resting on, I found was actually his chest-shoulder area. It was all coming back slowly, though mostly because my sleepy brain was connecting that smell I was so completely currently immersed in.

I was sleeping with Crosby, in Crosby’s bed, in Crosby’s house.

What the actual fuck?

I thought really hard about last night, and everything began to piece itself back together. I had told him to let me in; true it wasn’t really me that wanted to be let in that deeply into his life, I was just there and he needed someone. I just happened to be there when his defenses were down. Better than most, I understood the pressure and expectations that came with along with being in the position that we were in doing the one thing we loved the most. And then I remembered realizing it wouldn’t have been right for me to leave any sooner. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep; just stay there until I was sure Crosby was asleep and then leave quietly to head back to Geno’s.

But how the hell did that turn into this? And where the hell was my sweater? I realized I was just wearing leggings and my spaghetti strapped black tank top under the blankets that Crosby and I were so wrapped up under. And no bra? Why wasn’t I wearing my fucking bra? Apparently, I was not to be trusted in a bed with Crosby.

I hadn’t moved a single muscle since I had opened my eyes, but my mind was racing. What had I done. Sleep-sleeping with a guy was against my rules. Even with the ex, we'd have sex, sure, but I would leave after or we would hang out or something but we hadn't ever actually slept together. And well, I guess I had camped out on my couch with multiple boarders or piled in a bed drunkenly with multiple people on occasion. And of course Jen and I had slept in the same bed millions of times. And there had been several times I slept with Geno; but that was okay, because Geno was safe--Geno was Geno, plus we had stayed on our own sides. But this? This felt very different than with Geno. This felt, rather intimate. Was this intimacy?

I felt my fingers twitched without me telling them to do so and I swore my heart stop. Despite being in such a completely different position, despite having striped at some point of the night, despite actually having slept next to someone all night, and that someone being Crosby, my fingers were still interlaced with his. Granted, I couldn’t see our hands to make sure it was actually his due to the position we were laying in, but I was pretty sure there wasn’t anyone else in the bed with us.

However, the twitch of my hand seemed to be enough to bring Crosby out of his sleep slightly, because he started to move. I heard him sniffle slightly, and then cough a little. His body shifted a little as I felt his neck moving. I only assumed he was assessing our positioning. However, unlike me, Crosby seemed completely at eased on finding us curled up together upon awakening. He rolled over slightly, so he was on his side, so he was now able to look at me. But his left arm was still very much tucked around me holding me tight into him while his right hand still held my hand. It was as if he knew if he let me go, I would bolt.

“Hi,” I murmured quietly, not able to look at him. In fact, I tried to look anywhere but at him. I felt like I was about to throw up, and it made absolutely no sense to me. My flight response had kicked in a while and I just felt like I had to get out of there or scream or cry or maybe I was going to throw up. Unlike every other time in my life, my snarky bossy brain wasn't giving me any commentary or help, it seemed to be in this odd state like the rest of me. My heart was pounding and it wouldn’t have surprised me if he could hear it; I was sure he could feel it.

I felt two warm fingers on my chin which gently pushed my chin up. My gaze was still down, but my battle against my own curiosity finally lost out and I made the mistake of flicking my eyes upwards.
Crosby's head was tilted down slightly, his warm eyes now catching my own gaze. His eyes were staring into my own, but were actually somewhere looking into my very self.

It was at that very moment that I knew that if he could speak, he would say "You don't have to be brave with me."

I felt my lips start trembling involuntary as he held me tight, just looking at me. It could have been moments, it could have been years, I lost track of time. I just felt my body ever so slowly starting to relax.

“SIDNEY!” a familiar voice yelled from down stairs.

Both our bodies tensed up from the unexpected loud noise from downstairs.

“Is Lily’s,” I could hear an even more familiar Russian voice say loudly from downstairs as well.

The pair of us rolled apart. I winced as I landed heavy footed off of his bed, but composed myself as I straightened up. I quickly and found my sweater laying on the floor. I tugged on my sweater and tied the side of it trying to look as put together as I could. I pulled the hairband off of my wrist and tugged my hair as I whipped it up in a messy bun.

Wham. A pillow had been thrown at the back of my head. I turned around, glaring at Crosby.

“What?” I growled softly, the voices were quickly drawing nearer.

He pointed at the chair in corner of the room, and as my gaze followed to what he was pointing at, I blanched. My obnoxiously lime green lacy bra was draped over one of the arms very casually. He gestured for me to throw it over to him, so I snatched it and hurled it at him. Crosby caught it and just managed to shove it into the drawer of the bedside table as the bedroom door was flung open.

“Sidney!” chorused a group of idiots. They looked at Crosby who had just sat awkwardly on his bed and then over towards me. I had just taken several steps so my body was facing the window, but had twisted my shoulders so my upper body and face were towards the guys entering the room. Unsurprisingly, it was Geno, Paul, and James. There was an long awkward moment before anyone said anything.

“How’s the view?” James’s voice was more smug than I had ever heard it since I had met the man.

I scowled at him, what a fucking ass asking me that instead of talking to Crosby.

“Great,” I tried to sound normal, “It’s so beautiful out today, the sun--”

I stopped talking as I glanced back at the window realizing the blinds were still shut. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, my arms carefully folded over myself.

“I don’t get.” Geno confessed.

Paul, sensing it was time to step in so I didn’t murder his teammate, “Hey Sid, we just wanted to see you before we headed to practice.”

“You know what, this is actually perfect. I am on my way out. Have a good practice and see you all later.” I muttered, as I grabbed my phone off the bedside table next to the bed and walked over to the group.

“I’ll see you at home,” I said in Russian to Geno before giving him a peck on the cheek. I followed that by punching James hard on the shoulder and playfully head-butting Paul.

At the door, I turned and snuck a quick glance at Crosby, who was not looking at me. I let out an exasperated sigh and left Crosby’s house for real this time.


By the time I was done with my bath in Geno’s incredible jacuzzi, I was pretty sure I had officially turned into a prune. After leaving Sidney’s, no Lily, Crosby’s, I had finally returned to Geno’s and had plotted to just have a period of complete relaxation; a period to not think about anything namely Crosby. This would include Geno’s magical jacuzzi tub. I had discovered this and now was on a quest to have one just like it installed in my house in Colorado pronto.

I brought my laptop with me into his master bathroom so I could play my ‘Beyond the Sea’ Pandora station like an old person and had even brought a bottle of Rosé, which I had found in Geno’s wine fridge with me. ‘5:30 somewhere’ had crossed my mind, but I really, really didn’t care that I was late morning drinking. I was so out of my comfort zone and I had no idea what I was doing or rather what I should do.

The thing was, normally in circumstances I felt uncomfortable or unsure of something, I knew exactly what I would do--I would do what I had always done; get the fuck out of dodge and hole up on a mountain somewhere, snowboarding with friends. But this, this was all different. First of all, I wasn’t able to actually snowboard. Second of all, and more importantly, I was pretty sure I didn’t want to actually leave any sooner than I was already leaving. There was something about this morning or maybe it was last night that had changed that. Third, it wasn’t just about Crosby. Geno and I had become closer than ever, and I had grown attached to the other idiots here in Pittsburgh.

Before trying to find solace in the bathroom, I had purposely decided to leave my phone in my bedroom; on my way out of Crosby’s I had glanced at it and realized that I had a billion missed messages, though most of them were from Jen. I didn’t want to deal with those quite yet. True, we had the ability to go without talking for periods of time, and while everything would be fine. However, I knew her curiosity at the moment was at an all time high.

I gingerly got out of the tub, being extra careful to not drip any excess water on my cast. I took one of the giant fluffy towels out and wrapped it around my body, drying myself off. Then, I sat at the edge of the tub for a moment before I ripped off all of the plastic wrappings on my cast.

Images of last night flashed in my head of Crosby; he had sat in the position where I was now. Being with him, and seeing him in that state sent a shiver through me. I hadn’t seen someone that vulnerable since my mother; it was a lot to think about. Why did I care so much? I mean, sure he is Geno’s friend or teammate, and I liked kissing him, but that is it. That was all it could ever be. Things were too precarious. People always get hurt.

I stood back up and tucked the towel securely under my arm before I took my laptop and mostly empty wine bottle and exited the bathroom in favor of my room. Gently, I set the wine bottle on a table in the bedroom and my laptop on the bed. Sighing, as I glanced at my phone realizing the light indicating a new message was flashing.

I cringed as I approached the device as if it were about to bite me. I unlocked it, going to messages. There were the unopened messages from Jen, a new message from Veronique, various other messages, but also one from Crosby. I felt my stomach lurch and I opened the Crosby message.

“You might want to call Jen. She just called me looking for you. I couldn’t understand half of the things she said. It was all a bit confusing but rather humourous.”

Oh sweet baby Jesus. I flipped and read through the texts Jen had sent just from last night until this morning.

“How is it going?”

“What is going?”

“Babies yet?”

“How about now?”

“Am I going to be an auntie?”

“Is his ass really as big as it looks in the pictures?”

“I like the name Theodore for a boy and Nicole for a girl”

“I think his ass is bigger than yours and mine combined”

“Lily?”

“Why are you ignoring me?”

“I’m going to call Geno.”

“No, Geno would freak if he knew you were getting freaky with his teammate”

“Lilyyyyy”

“Liiiiiiiiiiils”

“I am going to call SIDNEY”

“Calling Sid.”

“Called Sid. Didn’t know he can’t actually talk. But I would’ve known that HAD YOU ACTUALLY CALLED AND TOLD ME THINGS.”

“Call Me.”

“Seriously Jen?” I groaned out loud, “Like, really?”

I went back to the message from Crosby and started to type.

“I am so so sorry. I am pretty sure Jen is certifiably crazy. She does mean well though. I just am not always very good with communication. I am slightly worried about what she said. Do I dare ask?”

I finished typing and hit send on the ridiculously long text message before I could question myself.

And then to Jen I sent, quickly “Oy, I’m alive. It’s fine. I’ll call later or something. I am doing the best I can right now.”

I got off my bed and started to hunt for clothes. I found some clean underwear and a bra, but the buzzing of my phone distracted me from any more success. I sighed, getting ready for the inquisition.

But it was Crosby.

“I am not allowed to tell you what she said. She swore me secrecy.”

I scowled at my phone for a moment before I typed and sent “I do not find this humorous* at all”

I found a clean Malkin Penguins shirt and pulled it on. ‘I should come for more visits,’ I mused, ‘If only for the new additions to my wardrobe.’ And then my phone was buzzing again.

“I found much humour* in it. Just how I can find humour* in this morning now that it over and they are all at practice.”

First I smiled at our war of proper spelling but then I winced remembering this morning. I quickly typed and sent,“How did the rest of this morning go?”

Crosby’s text came just several moments later, “Fine. They didn’t comment on anything and headed out not too long after you left.”

“Oh.” I knew it was a lame text, but I didn’t know what else to say about it. I set my phone down again and went to find a pair of baggy sweatpants. I heard my phone buzz again, but I ignored it until I had pulled on the pair of paints and situated them comfortably on my hips. Going back over to my phone, I opened Crosby’s text.

“Want to come over Thursday afternoon and hang out?”

I stared at the text, and without thinking I texted back “Was that meant for me?”

Flipping back to the text Crosby had just sent me, I stared at it. Was he actually inviting me over to just, hang out? We were actually at that point? That we could be casual and something like friends? Sure last night and this morning had happened and those moments had been weird. But, friends?

My phone buzzed in my hands, and quickly I opened the messaged.

“Yes.”

I tucked a chunk of my wet hair behind my ear unable to help the goofy grin that spread across my face.

“That would be nice.” I hit send.

“Crosby!” I yelled as I opened the front door not even bothering to ring the doorbell and wait for someone to let me in. I walked in and shut the door behind me, locking it as usual behind me. Setting the bags of groceries and purse down on the ground, I took my normal seat on the second stair from the bottom to take off my real boot and my special boot.

Carefully, I stood back up and walked towards the coat closet to hang up my coat as usual. Pausing in front of the closet door, I couldn’t help but smile a little at the oddness of this entire situation; it felt rather normal and nice. I shook my head, ridding myself of that silly thought. I started to take off my coat when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Fuck!” I flinched and turned around, seeing Crosby.

“That’s fucking it!” I scowled at him.

Despite my scowl, I couldn't help but notice there was something different about Crosby than I had seen in the previous several days. It wasn’t that he had recently showered, though his hair damp curly hair gave him a certain look that could charm anyone. No, that wasn’t it. I had seen him the day after the accident had happened in the hospital, and from then until now, days later, the swelling in his face had gone down considerably. But that wasn't it either. Today there was just something about Crosby that was different.

Once again, I pushed these thoughts out of my head and continued what I was saying before, glaring up at him, “Next time I come over, I am going to bring over a little collar with bells. That way you won’t be able to sneak up on anyone anymore.”

He fought hard against letting a smile break across his face, but even though he kept his mouth shut, he still chuckled.

“But seriously, you have a problem. I don’t know what it is with you. You need to meet my friends. The boarders, they are all crazy and loud, like normal people. It is never hard to know where anyone is with that group. Granted, you don’t have a moment of peace, but it’s great.” I sighed, realizing how much I was missing that part of my life.

And then I realized what I had said. ‘You should need to meet my friends’. I had said it so casually, like, ‘you should get to know this other part of my life.’ I was doing it again. But friends did this, right? Friends wanted to share parts of their lives with each other? I mean, Geno and I did this with each other all the time. I knew so many of the Russian hockey players, and hell, I was now speaking Russian. ‘But you don‘t like kissing Geno, do you?‘ that little voice in my head sang. That answer would be no.

Crosby was looking at me intently, his head was slightly tilted, as if he had picked up I was having an internal battle about something.

“We need to put the milk in the fridge” I warned motioning to the bags, changing the subject. I didn’t want to over think all of this. Friends. Friends. Friends. My brain chanted.

He plucked up all of the bags, even my large purse, and headed into the kitchen. I sighed following the boss into the enormous kitchen I was now familiar with. He had put all the bags on the counter and was systematically going through them, putting away everything. I perched on a stool, watching him inspect the groceries.

“Nathalie called me this morning,” I informed him. It had been an odd phone call. I had been in the middle of feeding one hockey player when essentially the second mother of another hockey player had called me to inform me of the important dietary changes of another hockey player whose life I was now apparently important enough in to need to know this information.

“She said we needed to switch you to a higher caloric diet of shakes. So, uh, I might have gone a little crazy with the flavors of protein powders,” I blushed as I continued relaying the information. The blush was due more to Crosby pulling out the fifth different flavored container of protein powder and the look he gave me.

“I was thinking that ice-cream shakes were still a no go, just cause your mouth was probably going to still be too sensitive. So sorry for destroying that hope and dream. And I wasn’t sure what flavors you might have already. Plus I wasn’t sure what flavors you liked. Mrs. Lemieux told me what brand you used, so I sorta went nuts and got all of the flavors the store had.”

He leaned over and grabbed his whiteboard that was on the counter and started writing.

“Thank you.”

I nodded. He held up the Redbox dvds which had been in one of the grocery bags.

“Yeah, I brought over some movies. I wasn’t sure what you had seen, so I got a couple,”

He flipped through them: Argo, Taken 2, and Seven Psychopaths. He set the movies down and scribbled on his board.

“Wow, what happy movies. And so I assume you are in for a great night of delicious shakes and movies with me?”

“Look, I could have brought over the new Twilight movie. And sadly no, Geno is picking me up around 5 and we are going downtown to meet one of the Rangers for dinner.” I shrugged my shoulders, “One of the guys on the team played with him in Russia during the lockout. Geno said he is from Norway, and Geno was shocked I didn’t already know him.”

I shook my head in playful disgust with myself.

Crosby looked confused and a little of something else, but I wasn’t sure what. But he passed off whatever emotion that was and was quickly writing something on the board.

“What significance is Norway?”

I blink a couple of times, and frown slightly. I had done it once again. I had forgotten that Crosby wasn’t like Geno or Jen and didn’t know all everything about me, nor I him.

“Norge er et utmerket land. Det er en utmerket snowboard markedet der, samt utrolig fantastiske mennesker,” I replied shrugging my shoulders. (Norway is a great country. There is an excellent snowboard market there, as well as incredibly wonderful people.)

Crosby shook his head completely confused.

“Oh de tingene jeg skal si til deg nå,” I sighed. (Oh the things I should say to you now)

He reached out for his board and wrote, “Of course you would speak some language like Norwegian.”

I smiled warmly at Crosby, “I needed to learn a language for school. It wasn’t a language offered at my public school, obviously, but I was spending a lot of time with Norwegians at different competitions and I was traveling to Norway, so it made a lot of sense. Plus, it isn’t really hard to convince a school to allow you to do an independent study like learning Norwegian when you have won a gold medal by the time you are 14.”

I blushed, realizing I had probably been divulging too much information again.

He scribbled on his board, “I speak French.”

“French is really cool. The amount of time I spend both in parts of French speaking Canada and France, it would be smart to work on that language too.” I sighed, “But, Geno has me focused on learning Russian which is way harder than anything else. I figure with Sochi next year...”

My voice trailed off as I looked at my foot. It should be healed, but the rising panic was still there. Two minor fractures could still greatly affect my performance. What if I was done for? True, that was a little drastic, but what if? And it would be my first Olympics without Mother...

The squeaky pen drew my attention, “Was it hard not to speak Italian in Turin?”

I laughed, “No, I was 14. They didn’t let me go anywhere without a slew of people following me making sure the baby American didn’t get into any trouble. For some reason, they always think the boarders, especially the younger ones are bound to find trouble.”

I gave him a faux innocent look. He shook his head at me, not believing it for a moment.

"Where is the faith?" I sighed dramatically.

Crosby rolled his eyes before picking up Seven Psychopaths, holding it up.

“Good choice,” I said gravely, hopping off the stool, “Lead the way.”

Near the end of the movie, my phone buzzed. I looked apologetically at Crosby before checking my phone. It was Geno saying he was on his way over to pick me up, that we would take the SUV downtown, and then after dinner, we would drive back to Crosby’s to get Geno’s other car.

“I’m sorry, I need to go change real quick. Keep watching it,” I murmured to Crosby pushing myself out of the really comfortable chair he had in his living room.

I went into the kitchen where my purse was, taking that and finding the bathroom off the hall on the main floor. I slipped out of the black sweats and sweatshirt I had been wearing all day and into the more restrictive dress I had brought for the dinner. I sighed as I then applied some make-up, nothing too drastic, just some neutral eye-shadows, eye-liner, tinted moisturizer, and tinted chap-stick. I took my hair out of its messy bun and shook it out. The curls were unruly, but the look worked.

I made a face as I left the bathroom, shoving my clothes into the giant purse. It wasn’t like I was really dressing up for anyone in particular. ‘Not for anyone going OUT with you tonight,’ a smug voice said in my head. I scowled as I pulled out the pre-planned clutch from my purse, so I wouldn’t have to take the giant purse with me into the restaurant. I set the bag down by the front down, but not before I put the single boot inside of the purse as well. I set the single simple black ballet flat out. It didn’t really work with the dress, but my options were currently rather limited due to my lovely left foot.

I made my way back into Crosby’s living room. The movie had obviously ended at some point when I was getting ready because Crosby had switched from the movie to a hockey game. Of course he was watching hockey.

“It might be healthy to take a night off from hockey one of these nights,” I said suddenly from the edge of the room. He jumped slightly, as if he hadn’t heard me return to the room.

Crosby turned around to look at me, and the expression that came upon on his face as he did so stilled my heart. The warmth and desire that poured out of his eyes was in a way I didn’t know was possible. It wasn’t like either times in the closets; there was something much softer this time.

He got up slowly and stood up, walking towards me. His approach was careful, as if I was going to bolt if he moved too quickly. I could feel myself trembling and I took a slight step back, but just a single step, before I stood still, just watching Crosby approach. Crosby stopped several inches away from me, close enough to let his intoxication work its full magic on me. I shut my eyes, inhaling deeply.

I felt his fingertips ever so gently brush the backs of my hands and ever so painfully slowly over the fabric of the sleeves of my dress and trace up my forearms, elbows, triceps, until his hands were on my shoulders. I was in a trance as he moved his forehead down the few inches to lean against my own forehead.

I could hear him inhale sharp, or was that me? I wasn't sure. His fingers curled around and into the muscles of my back, the strength so very evident in his hands. That second inhale was definitely mine. My eyes were shut, and once again I was just content to be with Crosby.

BANG BANG BANG. Both of us jumped feet into the air from the obvious sounds of an angry Russian bear at the front door.

Notes

Hey Friends. So many things (sorry).
First, the delay. This was going to be 1 giant chapter. Instead you get another update sooner because it was Malkin me crazy not putting up anything (and I am sure you too). Ahhhh see what I did there..... But really, the second part of this chapter will be up tomorrow night by the latest.
Second, no, I don't speak Norwegian. Google translate does (or says it does). If you do, and want help me, that would be neat!
Third, I just deleted what was the third point originally said because it involves what happens in the next half of the chapter, but i am not changing the fourth and fifth counting bits, so I am typing words here.
Fourth, There will be edits and slight changes on earlier chapters happening (nothing major).
Fifth, I am attempting to post this on Mibba (NoMoreIcing is actually me).
Sixth, the ending of the chapter is mean, but really, I needed to just post this first part for you all. Love you all.

As always, thank you for sticking with me. I have decided there will be at least 42 chapters because it is my favorite number (nerd reasons high five).



Comments

Come backkkkkk

amyb11 amyb11
6/23/16

:(

HockeyGirl17 HockeyGirl17
1/23/16

I have marathon read this in the last not even 12 hours and I want mooorreee! I reached the end of the chapter and saw it was the latest one and almost cried. This story is fantastic! Your writing is amazing and I absolutely love the plot. You are fantastic and I cannot wait for the next update!

scootsmcgoots scootsmcgoots
12/18/15

LOVE THIS STILL

addiegregory addiegregory
12/7/15

Just reread this and I would surely love to see an update!?! I'm hoping you have time and are still interested in finishing it! Thanks in advance and hugs to you!

Maddie Maddie
9/8/15